Birds Are Not Real - A Funny Story for Kids

LOL Storytime - Stories for Kids

In this whimsical children's story, two friends named Rome and Hosanna stumble upon evidence that birds are actually mechanical devices. The

Key takeaways

• Rome witnesses a bird crash into his window, revealing wires and sparks inside the creature.
• Hosanna develops a 'banana-spiracy' theory after noticing strange behavior in fruit.

Main topics

• Bird conspiracy
• Simulated reality

Notable quotes

Birds are not real.

Conclusion

A playful exploration of curiosity and the realization that even a man

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:01) How sure can we really be that birds are real? Can we really trust animals that sleep with one eye open and somehow fly without jetpacks? Well, today's story is called Birds Are Not Real. Let's get into it. Speaker 1 (0:31) This is the story of a boy who was just minding his own business, watching some TV, when just by chance he looked out the window and saw a bird flying straight toward his house. Uh, you might want to slow down there, little birdie. Speaker 2 (0:45) The Speaker 1 (0:45) bird did not slow down. There's a house here, you know. The bird could not hear the boy. You realize you can't fly through that window, right? The bird did not. Thud! Speaker 2 (0:57) Little birdie, oh my goodness, why did you do that? Are you okay? Speaker 1 (1:02) The boy, whose name was Rome, ran outside to check on the bird. Speaker 2 (1:06) Little bird, oh, you're not moving, and there are sparks flying out of your head? Speaker 1 (1:12) Rome was no bird expert, but he was pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen. And last he checked, birds didn't have wires, blinking lights, or tiny computer chips inside them either. The bird began flying away, even though it now had smoke coming out of its tail. Speaker 1 (1:28) Okay, said Rome. That was one weird little bird. But when he tried to tell people about it, no one believed him. Speaker 2 (1:36) What an imagination you have, Rome, they Speaker 1 (1:39) had said. Speaker 2 (1:40) Birds aren't like that, Rome. They're not mechanical, Rome. Birds are living creatures, Rome. Speaker 1 (1:47) Rome wondered why every sentence had to end with Rome. Okay, he said in return. I guess you guys know what I saw better than I do. Rome would have been fine to leave it at that and forget about it, but then it happened again a week later. Rome was walking home with his friend Hosanna when a bird flew right up to them, froze in midair, and then dropped to the ground. Hosanna tried picking up the bird to see if she could help it, but that's when she stopped. Ah, Rome, I don't think this bird is real. She said this like Rome hadn't just tried explaining this to her days earlier. Rome, birds are living creatures, right? We didn't just make that up in our heads, did we? Rome could think of dozens of examples of things he'd learned at school that had gotten mixed up in his head. Like the time he thought the teacher had told him the letter E had been removed from the alphabet. It had been particularly concerning to Rome because without the letter E, his name would just be Rom. Oh, hey, Rom! Speaker 1 (2:45) So the kids decided to double check with their teacher. Speaker 2 (2:48) Mr. Teacher Guy, are birds real? Speaker 1 (2:51) It became very apparent that the teacher did not like being asked about the realness of birds. Speaker 2 (2:56) Are birds real? What are you talking about? Of course birds are real. What kind of question is that? Speaker 1 (3:04) Rome was fine to let it go after that. Hosanna, however, was not. This is not good, Rome, she said on their way home. They're hiding something from us, Rome. The teacher's in on it. Our parents are in on it. Maybe everyone's in on it. In on what? Rome had to ask. Birdspiracy, Rome. Birdspiracy. The birds aren't real, and it's a big secret, and you and I have to find out why. Rome actually didn't think he had time to find out why. He'd been hoping to get home to play some video games after school. How long would you, uh, say it's gonna take, this whole finding out why? Hosanna's answer? As long as it takes, Rome. As long as it takes. Speaker 1 (3:49) Instead of playing video games that afternoon, Rome got stuck playing a little game called Catch the Birdie and Check for Wires. Unfortunately, catching a bird was practically impossible for two kids without any bird-catching equipment. After several face plants left them covered in scrapes and bruises, Hosanna suggested they just move on to the next part. Rome hadn't realized there was going to be a next part, unless the next part was going home to play video games. So, Rome, we are each going to make a sign that we can parade around Town Square telling everyone that birds aren't real. People deserve to know that they're keeping a secret from us. People deserve to know about birdspiracy. So instead of having fun at home, Rome marched around Town Square holding a sign that said, Birds are not real. Whenever someone asked why anyone would create fake birds, Hosanna would tell them it was probably all a distraction to keep people from noticing the even bigger problem, which she didn't actually know anything about, but that didn't stop her from making something up about bananas. There's something strange going on with the bananas, you see. Something they don't want us talking about. Something real fishy. Speaking of which, is anyone sure that the fish are even real? Hosanna would get a little sour whenever someone pointed out that fake birds seemed like a pretty complicated way to hide the truth about bananas. Now maybe it was all the eye-rolling, but Rome was pretty sure not a single person had walked away from these conversations feeling convinced that birds were not real. Well, Rome, we tried. But if the people don't want to listen, then the people don't want to listen. To Rome, this was sounding like they were getting closer to video game time. Speaker 1 (5:29) Hosanna went on. You and I know the truth, don't we? And the best thing for us to do now is find out what they're trying to hide with these bananas. Rome was still trying to figure out why bananas. Hosanna, I had a banana with my breakfast today, and everything seemed normal as far as I could tell. Hosanna didn't respond. A bird