[FROM THE ARCHIVES] What To Wear When Nothing In Your Closet Feels Like You Anymore
Let's Get Dressed
In this archival episode of 'Let's Get Dressed,' host Lib Perez welcomes stylist and new mom Alison Bornstein to discuss how life transition
Key takeaways
- Clothing can serve as both a mirror and a catalyst for personal transformation during life transitions.
- Rebuilding style isn't about buying new clothes—it's about restyling what you already have to match your current body and identity.
Main topics
- Life transitions and their impact on personal style
- Postpartum body changes and dressing adaptability
Notable quotes
You can't really expect things to fit the same when your body changes. It's not necessarily even about getting new things.
Conclusion
This episode reminds listeners that style is not about perfection but about authenticity and
Transcript preview
Speaker 1 (0:00) Hi, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Let's Get Dressed. It's your host, Lib Perez. I am currently on a much-deserved summer holiday, but don't worry, I'm not leaving you guys hanging. Some of the best fashion lives in the archives, and the same goes for podcasts. So over the next few weeks, I'll be re-airing some of my favorite past episodes, and I hope you guys enjoy. Speaker 1 (0:23) Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Let's Get Dressed. It's your host, Liv Perez. What happens when your body, life, or routine changes and suddenly nothing in your closet feels like you anymore? I feel like we've all been there. It's a tough challenge to overcome. So today I got to sit down with stylist, author, and new mom, Alison Bornstein, to talk about finding your style again through life's biggest shifts. Maybe pregnancy, postpartum, new job, a move, breakup, or just a new era. We talk about what it means to make peace again with your closet and let go of clothes that quote unquote ask too much of you and learn how to dress for the person you are versus the person that your clothes could be holding you to be. She shares her signature three-word method, which I know has helped thousands of people find their personal style, tips for rebuilding confidence when your body changes, and why the goal isn't always a perfect wardrobe, but maybe a kinder relationship with the one that you already have. I highly recommend you guys follow Allison on Instagram, TikTok, and Substack. She is one of my favorite follows, especially her Substack. I feel like I'm always learning something new and being challenged every day in my personal style over there. So I'm really excited to have her on the pod today. And I hope you guys love this episode. If you are going through a big shift right now, I know this episode is for you. Let's go get dressed with Allison Bornstein. Speaker 2 (1:44) Welcome to the pod. Thanks for having me. I feel like this has been Speaker 1 (1:46) a really long time coming. Speaker 2 (1:47) I know. Right? Yes. I'm so excited to be here. I've followed you forever. Followed you forever. Speaker 1 (1:52) Love it. I love this for us. I remember actually when Speaker 2 (1:54) you followed me and I was like, no. Because Speaker 1 (1:56) you know Speaker 2 (1:56) it's Speaker 1 (1:56) like Speaker 2 (1:56) when somebody you're already following. Speaker 1 (1:58) Follows Speaker 2 (1:58) you Speaker 1 (1:58) back. Yes. Speaker 2 (1:59) Yeah. I Speaker 1 (2:00) was excited. Speaker 2 (2:01) No, I'm a Speaker 1 (2:01) big fan of what you do and I think I have learned so much from you. You've informed so much of the way that I get dressed and I really like the way that you've just made it fun. I always say that like, I'm like, Alison's gamified it. Thank you. Speaker 2 (2:14) I try. I feel like sometimes I'm like, not self-conscious, but sometimes I'm like, am I making it like too, I don't know, like not too serious, but like, am I making too many rules? Am I like trying to like put it into a box? But I do feel like it's such a, you know, fashion and style and anything artistic. It's like, it's really, it's subjective. So it is so hard to kind of like understand it and talk about it. So I'm glad that you. I think that I do a good job. Speaker 1 (2:40) You just had a baby. How are you feeling? I did. Speaker 2 (2:42) I'm feeling good. Thank you. Of Speaker 1 (2:44) course. Speaker 2 (2:45) I'm feeling good. He's doing really well. Postpartum has been, it's really kicked my ass, which I'm sure a lot of people can relate to. I had a hard time in pregnancy too, but dressing was a little bit easier. I think when you have the bump going and when you kind of like know what to expect. Not that I've been pregnant before, but it's like, you know, you see friends do it and like people talk about it more. But postpartum was really a struggle Speaker 1 (3:10) and still is for me right now. I love what you're wearing today. Thank you. What are you wearing? Speaker 2 (3:15) These jeans are Phoebe Philo, which I was saying, these are the only jeans that fit me right now. They're meant to be kind of like low slung, but I have them pulled up high, which has kind of been my trick for the past few weeks. Now that I'm like slowly fitting into my jeans, I'm like, you know what? They're just going to have to be a little bit higher. I'm not going to tuck in my shirt. I'm just going to. let it flow. And it's been nice. I think not to go off on a tangent, but I think the main thing that I learned is that you can't really expect things to fit the same when your body changes. So it's not necessarily even about like getting new things. I think it's about just like restyling them, figuring out proportions again. Like I said before, like these jeans are meant to be low and I would usually like have something kind of boxy or tuck it in. And it's like, that's just, that's not what's going to happen right now. Speaker 1 (3:58) So it's just working with Speaker 2 (3:59) different proportions. Speaker 1 (4:00) I'm so excited to hear about all of it. I get asked so frequently on my Instagram questions about this. Hey, I'm in a different season of life. I just had a baby. I'm going through a breakup. And when it comes to maternity specifically, I obviously don't love giving advice because I haven't gone through it myself. So I was obviously so excited for you when you said that you were pregnant for so many reasons, but also because I was like, oh, she'd be the perfect guest to be able to speak to this because it blends just. all of your incredible expertise with what you're actually going through. So Speaker 2 (4:30) I'm excited to talk about. But I think you could also give advice for pregnancy, even not. Okay. Well, look, Speaker 1 (4:36) in my defense, Speaker 2 (4:37) I have Speaker 1 (4:37) seven sisters, five or four of which have gone through having a baby. And as a lot of my listeners know, they all live around me. That was my brother-in-law. I Speaker 2 (4:45) was Speaker 1 (4:45) saying, they live next door, across the street. So I've kind of seen them go through a lot of changes and I've asked because I'm obviously curious. are you still wearing your same jeans? Like I'm asking kind of all of those questions, but no, I want to go straight to the source. Okay, great. Yeah. Happy to be here. Happy to help. So you have been a stylist for 15 years? Yeah, a really long time. Really long Speaker 2 (5:05) time. I started my career, I was an assistant for a while in New York and I did a lot of editorial and celebrity stuff, which was really fun. Yeah. Just like, it was a little bit more of that like. fashion with a F kind of fashion, which I loved at the time. And I went to FIT. So when I was at FIT, I would intern and then I ended up being an assistant for a really long time. But when I ended up doing my own work, I realized that I actually really liked working with Speaker 2 (5:36) regular, like regular people, non-celebrities, you know, even doing like e-commerce was really interesting because I found it really fascinating when the merchandisers would talk about like how to style things for, you know, the client, for whoever's buying the clothes. And I always really liked that point of view. Like I like, you know, costuming for movies. Like I like the idea of kind of like thinking about like how somebody would wear this, why somebody would wear this, where somebody would wear this and kind of going from there. Speaker 1 (6:03) I love seeing you talk about working with clients on a daily basis. I feel like that's like your thing. I love that for you. Like it just, I feel like you can really change someone's life in that hour. And I'm sure you've come across a lot of experiences where someone has just totally lost their style. Yeah. And I wonder for you, like, what does that mean? And what does that look like when you see someone who's just kind of out of their routine or, you know, looking to kind of reinvent themselves a little bit? It's a really good Speaker 2 (6:30) question. I find whether they know it or not, most of my clients are going through some sort of transition when they come to see me. So I see clients virtually or in person, but mostly virtually. And it's like, you know, whether it's something as big as being pregnant or a divorce or a breakup or turning 50 or menopause. Or something really small, just like the seasons are changing. My body's changing. I don't know. My kids are leaving the house. I'm retiring. That's actually not small. That's big. But like there's always some sort of transition. And I feel like often we'll think that clothes aren't that important in that kind of situation. But clothes are like so integral to like any kind of transition or change. I think it can help like propel change forward. But it can also, it can really help you like sit back and figure out like. well, who is it that I want to be? Like, what is this wardrobe saying about me? What's working? What's not? And like, yeah, how can I kind of revive it? Speaker 1 (7:31) Clothes can like walk you through different eras of your life. You can become an entirely different person. I cleaned out my closet in August and did like a massive clean out. Like I got rid of. probably half of it. How'd it feel? Oh my God. So good, right? So good. And I think a lot of people were like, oh my God, do you feel scared? Do you feel anxious? Like you got rid of all these things. And for starters, it was really nice living in like just what I had for a little while. But then I like strategically bought pieces that I felt like were missing. And since then to now, I feel like a different person. I feel like my confidence is different. I know what to put on. I like everything I'm putting on. And I'm not like looking back at outfits and I'm like, why did I wear that? Like everything I've worn since I'm like, yeah, that feels right. That feels like me. Speaker 2 (8:13) That's great. Cause I feel like, you know, you obviously know what you're doing and it's like being super discerning about like, is this like we're saying who I want to be? Is this what I want to portray? Is this like, I don't know. I think I wrote this in my sub stack about postpartum, but it's like, are these clothes asking of me? Too much, you know like are these clothes asking me to be like a different person and sometimes they are like I have things my wardrobe now that I've been a mom for four months I'm like I like These are not me. These are asking these clothes are asking too much of me They're asking me to be somebody that I'm not anymore and like it's okay to let them go I was really moved by that Substack post Speaker 1 (8:50) that you, it was a note that you posted. Oh, okay, great. You had like gone on a walk. Yes, yes. And had that realization. And by the way, guys, Allison has the best Substack. Oh my God, thank you. Speaker 2 (8:58) I love Speaker 1 (8:59) your Substack. Speaker 2 (9:00) I love what you do on Speaker 1 (9:00) there. I love Substack. I do too. I think it's, if you know how to do it and you've like found your niche in there, I think there's a huge opportunity. An amazing community. Totally. Very different than Instagram. People are really dialed there. And it feels more like I'm conversing with peers versus like that, like follower community exchange on Instagram. Yeah. I really like it. That's a great point. Yeah. It feels like I'm talking with friends. Yeah. Anytime people message in the chat or comment on things, I'm like, yeah. The chats are crazy. Like, yeah, Speaker 2 (9:28) I'm still figuring Speaker 1 (9:29) out my Speaker 2 (9:30) chat, but some of the chats I'm in are. Yeah. Insane. Yeah. People like really helpful, like really wanting to help, like even just like. Yeah, peer to peer. Yeah, Speaker 1 (9:37) it's great. But so I loved that note that you posted because I hadn't really thought about that as a concept before that what you're asking of clothes versus what clothes could be asking of you. And I'm sure that that was huge for you in your journey. How did that take shape? Yeah, a lot of Speaker 2 (9:54) it, unfortunately, because being postpartum had to do with size. So like if