Angie Martinez IRL - AJ Johnson: You Can't Fix a Relationship Until You Know Who You Are

Joe and Jada - iHeartPodcasts and The Volume

In this episode of Angie Martinez IRL, host Angie Martinez sits down with life coach and relationship expert AJ Johnson in a deeply personal

Key takeaways

• True intimacy begins with self-awareness; you can't fix a relationship until you know who you are.
• Recognizing when someone is wearing a 'mask'—hiding their true emotions or experiences—is a sign of emotional intelligence.

Main topics

• Authenticity in relationships
• Emotional intelligence and reading people

Notable quotes

"You can't fix a relationship until you know who you are."

"I knew her soul, I knew her truth. And she wasn't living it."

Conclusion

AJ Johnson's journey as a life coach underscores that meaningful change begins with

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:00) This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you hear the new episode of the Hey Jonas podcast? Speaker 4 (0:37) We are at D23, so we'll see who stops Speaker 3 (0:40) by. The cast of Frozen stopped by. Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Idina Menzel. I Speaker 6 (0:45) auditioned for Frozen. What? For Kristoff. They said, okay, what are you going to be singing today? I said, I don't know. That must Speaker 3 (0:50) have been why you didn't get it. Oh, you probably won. Plus, John Stamos, Hayden Christensen from Star Wars, and more. Speaker 7 (0:56) And I guess I can share that, uh... Speaker 3 (0:58) Listen to the latest episode of Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 4 (1:05) On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 7 (1:44) Hey, this is Hayes Davenport and Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook. Each week we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stiller, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 5 (2:11) There's one thing that you are... Wanting for yourself. Yes. There's one thing that you're dreaming of that before this moment, before this now, you may not have truly believed it could be possible. But right now, connected sisters, I'm aligning with you in the belief that it's just waiting for you. What is it? Speaker 8 (2:42) Hey guys, thanks for watching. This episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. Today's guest has been a part of some of the most iconic films from Spike Lee's School Days to House Party, Speaker 2 (2:52) which was a... Classic. John Singleton's baby boy. And then somewhere along the way, the woman known for reading a scene became Speaker 8 (2:59) known for reading people, building a life coach platform, the AJ Zone, that has quietly shaped some of the biggest names in the industry. Gabrielle Union credits her with saying that she helped her let go of her mean girl energy. And then right here on this very podcast, Tisha Campbell shared how working with AJ really changed her life. Speaker 2 (3:19) And then, you know, after that conversation, I was like, we need AJ on the podcast. So I am thrilled today that AJ Johnson is here in real life. I'm so excited. I'm so happy. Me too. I'm so happy. We've been recording sister. Yes. Crazy. Did you hear or happen to see our episode or clips of our episode with Tisha Campbell? Of course. Speaker 1 (3:43) Oh, you did? First of all, I watched. You watched the whole thing? But Speaker 2 (3:45) then Speaker 1 (3:45) she was like, oh, hey, bitch, you know you got to see it. And so, of course, you know, with our little banter, it's just, it's really interesting because we don't talk about our conversations. So when I see her talking about them, I really get a chance to hear and vibe what she was doing and taking from it. Yeah. So it's been 10 years since we had that official conversation, right? Well, you know, we're sisters, so I've been just kind of watching her. And I know that she listened because first, you know, she threw me out the house. She didn't add that part on the show. Oh, she Speaker 2 (4:14) didn't Speaker 1 (4:14) tell us that. No, she didn't tell you that part. That's why I'm here today. You know, she threw me out the house for talking so much truth. And, you know, but I think that Speaker 5 (4:22) really... proved our love and the depth of it that, you know, I just believe that love should sustain anything, especially in that regard, your relationship between women, sisters. Speaker 1 (4:33) Wait, Speaker 2 (4:33) I feel like we should play a little clip of this. And I posted Speaker 1 (4:36) it because I want people, yeah, because I want people to have the context of what was happening. And the Speaker 5 (4:42) part that you didn't get to hear was that I was uncomfortable at that party because I knew so much energy that was going to be there, and I knew that so many people had masks on. And I'm just not good with that. What does Speaker 8 (4:54) that mean? And how do you feel, like, how do you see it and know it when people have the mask? Like, what did you feel in that room? You're in a room, it's Tisha, it's Speaker 1 (5:02) like Speaker 8 (5:02) actors and celebrities. Speaker 1 (5:04) You know, first of all, we're in Hollywood. So Speaker 5 (5:06) let's talk Speaker 1 (5:06) about that. Everybody's making a living pretending to be something, to do something. So let's start there, right? But then some of the people that I knew, I knew there would probably be people there that I didn't know. Speaker 5 (5:17) And Speaker 1 (5:17) so, you know, I just watch, look, and listen, and my spirit picks up on, you know, different issues people may be having, Speaker 5 (5:24) but they're smiling through it. I may get a vibe about a relationship that somebody's bragging about that's not really anything to brag about. Of course, I knew Tisha's relationship was not great, but she was pushing through with a smile. Speaker 1 (5:39) Anything, you Speaker 5 (5:39) know. Speaker 1 (5:40) Gay people who are trying not to live that lifestyle. Speaker 2 (5:43) You see people. Speaker 1 (5:45) Yeah, I can see it. I can see it. I can feel it. I can hear it. And so I just was like, I really don't want Speaker 5 (5:52) to be at this party. I'm living in a space where I'm trying to really walk in my truth. And now Speaker 1 (5:57) here I have to go and put on a mask to be at this gosh dang party. And, you know, trying to make myself comfortable, I sat down next to somebody I didn't know. And it happened to be Easter. And again, trying to make myself comfortable, I said, so quick question. Since we're celebrating Resurrection Day, what in your life should stay dead and what do you feel like should resurrect? Oh, my gosh. And she looked and she was like, oh, shit, AJ's in here being deep. And she jumped up and started screaming and everybody was like, what, what, what? And so she said, AJ just asked me. And then people were like, well, I'm next. I'm next. And it just turned into this session. Group session, if you will. And Tisha heard us hooping and hollering and tears and screaming. And I mean, it turned into a group session. And then Tisha was like, I want to be next. And I was like, oh God, please no. And I was like, not now. You know, we'll Speaker 5 (6:47) do it privately. She was like, no, no, no. I want to do it now. And I said, okay. And I said, you know. you're wearing a mask professionally, in your family, in your relationship. And it's hard to watch because I know your soul and I know your, I'm getting teary-eyed talking about it. I know your truth. Speaker 1 (7:07) and you're not living it. And it hurt me to say it. And she was like, bitch, why are you crying? So you were crying in the moment too? Yeah. Just like now. Right. I felt it just like now. And she was like, why are you crying? And I said, because I love you and I don't, I want you to be happy. And you're not. Speaker 8 (7:23) Well, what did you, how did you see that? Like, what is that experience of seeing that in somebody you could just tell? Or, I mean, well, well, You know, as friends Speaker 5 (7:32) and as sisters, in just any conversation, I'm sure you go through with your friends. You know what makes them happy. You know what brings them joy. You know what makes them sad. Speaker 1 (7:40) You know what's uncomfortable conversations. I mean, Tisha and I have known each other for 30 years. So I know the conversations with her family, her kids, her spouse at the time, her friends. I know Speaker 5 (7:50) what makes her uncomfortable. And to watch her have to smile and posture, you Speaker 1 (7:55) know, shoulders back, head up. Speaker 8 (7:56) And Speaker 5 (7:56) jokes. Speaker 8 (7:57) Yeah, you Speaker 1 (7:57) know, covering it with jokes and pushing. through and not wanting to have the conversations. Speaker 5 (8:03) I try to walk in a level of truth where the conversations are real and true because I know that's the only way we grow and we go. Speaker 8 (8:12) And Speaker 5 (8:13) so when people are not that way with me, there's no alignment. Speaker 8 (8:17) Yeah, I get Speaker 1 (8:17) that. And that's Speaker 5 (8:18) what Speaker 1 (8:18) happened. Our alignment started misaligning. And so when I finally said that, I'm teary-eyed. And I actually thought in that moment, I said, this is the end of our friendship. Speaker 2 (8:28) Oh, wow. This is Speaker 5 (8:29) it. Because no one's telling her this truth. And she looked at me and she was like, you're right. Speaker 1 (8:38) Oof. Speaker 1 (8:40) And I was like, this Speaker 2 (8:41) is in front of everybody at the party. Yeah. Speaker 1 (8:43) But keep in mind, everybody was doing that. So she, as the host, was no different. Everybody was coming clean, if you will. And she said, talk about Easter, like resurrection. Listen, girl, I was like, he has risen for real. Right. And I think she she started her divorce process the next week. Speaker 8 (9:03) Wow. Oh, Speaker 1 (9:03) yeah. It didn't take long. And I was there, you know, I was there through the process. And we had a couple more times, you know, friends that she felt like were supportive. I was like, no, they're not. Speaker 3 (9:13) And Speaker 1 (9:14) she was like, yes, they are. I was like, no, they're not. And so that started us in another level of our friendship. At Speaker 8 (9:20) that point, though, had you already been deep in your, like, life coach? a phase and, and I don't know, just journey. And you had already been deep in that and done a lot of work and helped people and can see things. Speaker 2 (9:32) And Speaker 5 (9:33) yeah, yeah. I had, I call it answering the calling because it's nothing that I choose. Speaker 5 (9:40) you know, in conversations. It's just, you know, that Spelman College comes out, that science nerd comes out, and I just start Speaker 1 (9:47) asking questions about life and primarily just trying to get to know people. Speaker 5 (9:51) You Speaker 1 (9:52) know, I've grown up here in Hollywood. So for me, it's been really hard coming from like the HBCU environment to Hollywood. Speaker 1 (10:02) You know, I'm also Speaker 5 (10:02) a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority. So there's a sisterhood involved in all of this, right? And I Speaker 1 (10:07) just wasn't finding it here. And so I started having certain conversations just trying to get to know people. And they were like, whoa, okay, hold on. And they would say, where's my tissue? And I was like, I'm just trying to ask. And then one of my close girlfriends, Spelman's sister, Tracy Blackwell, she's an executive at Amazon. And she said, you know, you know you're a mirror, right? Like sometimes people don't want to look in the mirror and it's so hard to be your friend because to be your friend, you got to always tell the truth. And I was like, but isn't that what love is? Speaker 5 (10:34) Love Speaker 1 (10:34) is truth. So would you prefer to not live that? She was like, see, here you go again. So I just being me, to be honest, it just started happening. And it's so funny. Yeah. You know, people started saying, hey, I need to talk to you. Hey, I need to talk to you. And it just developed itself, really. Speaker 2 (10:51) Wow. It's funny you say that because. Speaker 2 (10:55) I think I have Speaker 8 (10:57) some of that gift that you have in terms of being able to see people. I can see people. And so sometimes that's my conversation is rooted in what I see and then trying to understand if I'm right and then trying to get the person to, you know, so I do that. But in my real life. I also can do that. And so I can see people around me. Do you walk in it? Well, I sometimes do. But I think I have, because there's a thing about like overstepping or taking people places they're not ready. Or also there's like a burden in it in a weird way. It's like how you said people are like, oh, it's too much. Yeah. Sometimes people don't want to hear what you see. And also I try to be humble in like I see that. And it's true for what I see, but I may not know all the nuances of why that's happening. And so let me not try to overstep and let me just, and then, but if somebody asks or if somebody leaves an open lane and it's of curiosity, I will, I will be honest, but I don't think I've put myself in a position. I don't think my thing, my walk is way different than yours. Um, in terms of like, I don't know, in my personal life, I don't use it, but I do have the gift. I have it, but I don't all the way use it because it doesn't always feel appropriate for me. Speaker 1 (12:15) Well. Does that make sense? It makes sense. And I'm going to tell you where mine shifted because I tried that Speaker 5 (12:22) for a long time. I'm not going to use it in my personal life. I'm only going to use it with clients. I'm not going to do speaking engagements. I'm not going to do, you know, I was trying to pick and choose. Speaker 2 (12:31) And Speaker 5 (12:31) God was like, yeah, no, this is your assignment, part of it. And so I need you to, to. surrender to it and um there's going to be some life shifts there's going to be some friendship shifts but people need your truth and so that he was like you know What are you going to do? And even on social media, you know, my social media team for a long time, years ago, was saying, you know, you talked to us about the spiritual downloads, but you don't share it. How come you don't Speaker 1 (13:00) share it? I was like, well, it's not for everybody. And they were like, you know, you'd be surprised how many people want to hear from you, especially, you know, what your spiritual walk is like. And I was like, you know what? I'll do it every now and then. And I mean, whoosh. It just like a volcano. Speaker 8 (13:14) Wow. Speaker 1 (13:15) So I just and I'm still growing. You know, I'm still learning where to Speaker 5 (13:19) use it. We're not. And I think it's who we are. And it's who we Speaker 1 (13:25) are. And people know that's who we are. And even this space for you. You know, we're not surprised you're in this space doing this. So you are. So so I think that's Speaker 5 (13:34) really Speaker 1 (13:34) what it is. Speaker 5 (13:35) It's a matter of how much do I accept? the assignment and the divine alignment to walk in this level of truth. Speaker 8 (13:43) Yeah. It's not easy. No, it can't be. That's why I say that to you. I don't necessarily feel that my path is the same or my assignment. I feel like we have different assignments, right? For Speaker 5 (13:54) sure, Speaker 8 (13:54) yeah. Similar maybe type of gift, but it's different assignments. And so, or is that me not wanting to fully Speaker 1 (14:02) own? Well, you know what? Speaker 2 (14:04) I love Speaker 1 (14:05) it. I feel like this connection is divine even beyond Speaker 5 (14:09) the conversation because there's not a lot of us to connect. And so, I mean, I don't know who's in your life, but I know for me, one of the reasons I was excited to talk to you is because I don't get a chance to do this. I'm usually on the healing side as opposed to letting it out and being healed. Speaker 2 (14:28) Yeah. Speaker 5 (14:28) So. I don't Speaker 2 (14:29) know that I'm the healer here. I think I just. Oh, now you're running from it. No, Speaker 8 (14:32) I'm not. Because I don't sit in the seat as a healer. I sit in the seat to see you and to understand you and to help share your story for wherever it needs to land out Speaker 1 (14:43) there. So how do you feel when I say even that is healing? to give me a space to share my story. Speaker 8 (14:49) Yes. That's okay. And if it is, that's great. That's what I hope. That's what my hope is for it. But I don't sit here to, with the intention to heal. I sit here with the intention to, to, to see it and to share truth. I Speaker 1 (14:59) try Speaker 8 (14:59) to Speaker 1 (14:59) do the same thing. Speaker 8 (15:00) Really? Do the same thing? We'll Speaker 1 (15:03) talk more about this. I'm excited. Yeah. I'm excited. You know, a lot of times I'm just saying, Hey, sometimes you may need an ear. Sometimes you may need a different perspective. I'm not aware Speaker 8 (15:13) that it's healing. So tell me about what you do exactly. Because people even hear the word, is it life coach? Is that the technicals? Speaker 1 (15:21) Yeah. Speaker 8 (15:21) What is your title? Like Speaker 2 (15:24) if you had a business card, what would it say? Speaker 1 (15:27) It would say life shifter. I know that feels a little too, you know. Psychic, I think, for people. A little woo-woo for people. But I think it's a life shifter, primarily because I'm constantly shifting my life. Speaker 4 (15:43) So Speaker 1 (15:43) I know the steps. Speaker 5 (15:45) I know the pains. I know the mountains, the valleys. So whether it's Speaker 1 (15:49) relationship, whether it's professional, whether it's travel, whether it's career, whatever it is, I try to help people be open to the Speaker 5 (16:00) shifts that... the universe is asking of them, that the divine is asking of them. And nine times out of 10, when we have these walls we come up against, or when we have these speed bumps, roadblocks, it's because we're resistant to the shift. And so I try to live the example and talk about what happens if you release the resistance. Speaker 2 (16:24) Woo! Did you hear that? Speaker 2 (16:28) See? We talk about that a lot. Brittany's here. She's my producer here. Yeah. Well, we talk about that a lot. Like, are we, are things aligned? And you can feel the difference. When you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, or you're in the place you're supposed to be, things feel different. Do Speaker 5 (16:43) you know how many people don't use the word align? Alignment? Nobody's living a life to even walk in that word. Speaker 5 (16:53) So even that, when I say, you know, shifting into what's really aligned in your spirit, in your body, in your mind, again, the AJ zone is mind, body, and spirit. So all of those things are connected. A lot of people don't realize they're all connected. Speaker 1 (17:09) So, Speaker 5 (17:09) you Speaker 1 (17:10) know, my body health is connected to my mind health. It's connected to my spirit health. I believe that all of it's foundation in my spirit health. Right. I want a candy bar just like anybody else does. But my spirit goes, OK, but are you going to run the three miles to get it off tomorrow? Because, you know, you want to wear that new bikini and, you know, you want to be cute on the beach and, you know, you know, you know. And is it worth it? No, it's not. OK, good. So go, you know, have some have some carrot juice and keep on moving. And you're going to feel good about yourself tomorrow in the bikini. So it's spirit led. Most of it is spirit led, which is where the alignment comes from. And I think a lot of people try to try to move without the alignment. So their relationship is a mess. Their families are a mess. Their friendships are a mess. Their relationships with coworkers are a mess. And it's because they're Speaker 5 (17:55) trying to move without paying attention, setting the boundaries with alignment and living it. Speaker 2 (18:00) What is the first, somebody who's out of whack completely, not in alignment on anything, what is the first matter of business to get aligned? Speaker 1 (18:09) For me, again, I start in spirit. And Speaker 5 (18:12) the first thing I say is, you know, what's your spirit life like? What do you do on a daily basis that is spirit-led? And most of the time for someone like that, they'll come back with a religious, you know, I go to church. And I said, no, no, no, I'm not talking about religion. I'm talking about spirit. You know, do you believe in affirmations? Do you listen to people who are inspirational and motivational, you Speaker 1 (18:35) know, above and beyond where you are for yourself? What's your spirit life like? Nine times out of ten, they don't have one. And if they have one, it's not daily. And the first thing I say is, the reason why you're out of whack is because there's nothing bigger than you guiding you on a daily basis. Something has to be bigger than you guiding you so that you know the roadmap to follow. And that way, when things fall off... on a Tuesday or a Wednesday, you can say, oh, I understand this because my Monday affirmation told me this was going to happen. Or, you know, my Tuesday inspiration told me this was going to happen. And so now I know how to navigate it. Speaker 3 (19:12) If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. Speaker 4 (20:12) On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinheiro, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 6 (21:12) I'm Nick Turturro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. But I'm also from Queens, which means I know pizza. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza from Prince Street Pizza to a new guest. You deliver pizza now? Then we sit down for a real conversation. I've shared a slice with everyone, from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt? To Alex Rodriguez. Just to let you people know. We're talking to one of the GOATs here. To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met Speaker 7 (21:42) somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And Speaker 6 (21:46) now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro. It's called happiness. Delivering happiness. Mariano Rivera. Oh, my God. And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now. Speaker 7 (22:03) I'm Hoda Kotb, host of the podcast Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb. If you know me, you know I'm always searching for inspiration and useful tools to maximize joy. So this podcast lets us uncover those things together through meaningful conversations with fascinating people. Like when my friend Henry Winkler offered advice to aspiring actors and really anybody hoping to stand out. Speaker 6 (22:29) You're not hired just to fill time and space. You're hired to fill the space with you. You have something in your guts. You go with it. And Speaker 7 (22:39) Shawn Johnson recalled the moment she realized her now-husband, Andrew, was the one. He was Speaker 3 (22:45) just so unapologetically himself and knew nothing of Hollywood. He hadn't been on a plane before without his family. It was so pure. Speaker 7 (22:54) Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 8 (23:07) What is it for you? What is the thing that, what is your alignment? How do you stay aligned? Like, what is your spiritual? Oh my goodness, I go through, Speaker 5 (23:13) I, every morning, I don't start the day, one of my affirmations actually starts by saying, before you speak to the world, speak to your soul. And so I don't go on social media. I don't. check emails before I tune in with my devotions. My devotions, I got about three books I travel with. And the main one, I've used it on TV shows and it's called His Princess by Sherry Rose Shepard. And it's really letters from your divine. And so it will say like, today, this is what your lesson is. And so I've taken it, a girlfriend of mine from school gave it to me when I was going through a bad breakup years ago, but using it since 2006 every day. Speaker 1 (23:52) And she's the one who said, see if this guides you. And now I'm helping her. She's like, I got you the book, but I never thought it was going to be like this. She was like, I don't even use it like that. But I asked myself four questions. One is, Speaker 5 (24:05) what is the virtue that I'm being asked to practice by being given this reading? I believe that our soul should be virtuous. Virtue means to reach for a higher character, a higher standard of living. So more patience, more kindness, more... fortitude, more tenacity. And so I always say, okay, what is this reading? What virtue is this reading telling me to practice? That's question number one. Question number two is, what actions required of me to demonstrate Speaker 1 (24:37) me practicing that virtue today? Speaker 5 (24:39) So Speaker 1 (24:40) it's not enough to say, oh, my virtue is patience. I'm going to be more patient. Nope. That's a concept. What's the action? More patience means what? Not flipping a bird. Does somebody cut me off on the freeway? Helping the old lady out of the grocery store as opposed to running past her so I can get out the door faster. Instead of screaming at the bank teller, hey, can we open another line? Which is typically what I've been doing. You know, I stand patiently and wait. So there's different ways to practice. Speaker 5 (25:06) And Speaker 1 (25:06) what I learned by the end of that day, oh, question number three is what do I have to release to be better in my life that day? Speaker 5 (25:15) And Speaker 1 (25:15) question number four is what's my action that demonstrates the release? I ask those four questions of myself every day. Every day. To start my day. What was today's? Today was lead the lost. What was it? Lead the lost, which I get constantly. That was my devotion. I figured out Speaker 5 (25:35) that for today, because I get the reading all the time, today my virtue was surrender. Speaker 2 (25:42) Because Speaker 5 (25:43) in order to lead the lost, I realized that in the reading it even says, surrender to understanding that you're a leader. Speaker 1 (25:51) And that Speaker 5 (25:52) there's people who are wandering around, it Speaker 1 (25:55) literally says, wandering around this dry and thirsty land, waiting for you to fulfill their thirst. spiritually. So as we talked before, so I have to surrender to that. So that was my, my, my virtuous surrender. So then it becomes what's the action I have Speaker 5 (26:09) to demonstrate in order for me to, to practice the surrender. And so the surrender was, um, Speaker 5 (26:18) It's okay that I don't know Speaker 1 (26:19) everything. I'm getting choked up. Talk about it again. It's okay that I don't know everything. And that opens me up to learn and to explore and Speaker 5 (26:30) to be a spirit of adventure. Because what I'm going to get, I'm going to help somebody else with, right? So that was my action in the virtue. What do I have to release? In the surrender, I have to release. Speaker 5 (26:47) feeling like where I've been is where I'm supposed to go. So this is getting into a whole nother thing. For example, I'm living in a, right now, my season is a season of readjustment and a season of refinement. That's the season I'm living in. What that means is, okay, what that means is, again, this rings true for me. I like it. So in, in, the action of what do I have to release, I have to release thinking that as an actress, there's only certain things I'm supposed to do. You know, there can be different things. Like, for example, I love that I get scripts where I'm the baby mama because everybody knows me in that. But I still want to do action films. I still Speaker 1 (27:32) want to do spy films. I still want to do, you know, horror films. I want to do things where I can use my physicality and my body. Speaker 1 (27:40) in more action. I've never done that. So instead of talking myself out of that, I'm going to release the resistance. That's the thing for us, releasing the resistance. Speaker 5 (27:49) I'm Speaker 1 (27:49) going to release the resistance to thinking I have to do a certain kind of thing. That's what I'm Speaker 5 (27:55) releasing. And then what do I do to demonstrate the release? Confess it. Like I Speaker 1 (28:00) just confessed to you. Talk about it. Share it some kind of way so that I can hear myself and receive that release. Wow. Every day. Wow. And that's just before nine o'clock. I ain't even got out of bed yet. No coffee, no energy drink, no gym. My gosh. That's before I even start my day. Speaker 2 (28:17) Could you imagine, like, was this always your, like when you were young and thinking about what your life would be? Was this even, did you always know that your work would be in this kind of space? Absolutely not. No. I didn't know my work was going to be in this kind of space. Ten years ago. Speaker 5 (28:32) Oh, wow. I just, you know, I was traveling. I was, you know, on different sets as an actress. I've always loved... You just wanted to be Speaker 8 (28:40) an actress. That was your, like, Speaker 2 (28:42) what was your... Speaker 5 (28:43) No, I didn't even want to be an actress when I was younger. I wanted to be, I wanted to contribute in the gifts that I was given. So I've always been athletic. I've always been a dancer. I've always loved learning about different people. Speaker 1 (28:58) That's been my spirit. Now, how it manifested professionally, I had no idea. Speaker 5 (29:04) And Speaker 1 (29:04) so when I started dancing and acting on stage, I was like, okay, this is cool. And I thought, well, let me just go to LA and see what happened. Speaker 5 (29:10) And then that took off. And then I started thinking, there's a part of me that's sleep that I want to wake up. And that's dealing with more people, not just the Hollywood celebrity on set thing. Speaker 1 (29:22) Like I want to really talk to people. And that even came out of... As I'm traveling, people in the TSA lines would be like, you know, AJ, I read that article. And I read where you said, you know, don't eat bacon. And I would say, okay, well, did you stop? No, but I read it. So it's like, why are you eating bacon? Now I'm talking to this girl that works for TSA in Atlanta for 20 minutes. But that's just part of my spirit. You know, I'm a connector. And so I started to think, what can I do to connect with more people? And God sent me the coaching. Speaker 2 (29:52) Wow. Speaker 1 (29:53) So again, surrender to what is happening that aligns with who I am, who I want to be, not judging it, not trying to make a plan for it, but just being open, being open Speaker 5 (30:04) to what it could be. What happens if you just decide to be open? Speaker 2 (30:09) How do you decide who receives this gift? Like, how do you decide who to work with or who to open up to or try to help? I love you. So I do a startup consultation. Speaker 8 (30:23) Because, you know, you could get worn out and not be useful. Speaker 1 (30:27) Well, I do a startup consultation professionally. Speaker 5 (30:30) And to see if our vibe is great, to see if the person's receptive to