Angie Martinez IRL - Bebe Rexha: Having The Confidence To Go All In On What You Want

Joe and Jada

Grammy-nominated pop artist Bebe Rexha joins Angie Martinez for an intimate conversation about her journey from behind-the-scenes songwriter

Key takeaways

• Bebe Rexha discovered her love for music at a young age, writing Neo Soul-inspired songs by age 11.

Main topics

• Bebe Rexha's early life in New York City

Notable quotes

"I just knew, even at like this age of eight. So I was like, I'm doing this. I don't care."

Conclusion

Bebe Rexha's story is one of quiet determination and bold self-belief—

Transcript preview

Speaker 6 (0:00) This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Hi, Speaker 4 (0:04) this is Kylie Brakeman. Angela Geratana. Jeremy Speaker 6 (0:07) Colhane. Patrick McDonald. And Speaker 4 (0:08) we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast. The Speaker 6 (0:12) improvised character comedy podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants. And Speaker 5 (0:21) we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He Speaker 6 (0:25) winks on Halloween. He gets right up next to the microphone. Speaker 5 (0:28) I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. Speaker 6 (0:31) You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Speaker 5 (0:36) Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 8 (0:44) The World Cup is over, but if you caught the soccer bug and aren't sure what to do now, check out our podcast, Big Kick Energy. I'm Cameron Dicker, the kicker from the Los Angeles Chargers, and I'm here with Timmy Tillman, current LAFC star player. So, we know a little something about kicking balls. Each week, we'll tackle things like who's winning the Premier League this year? What do you think is harder, scoring a penalty kick or scoring a field goal? Join us each week for a quick chat with your soccer-loving bros about the best sport in the world. Soccer. Just don't tell my coaches I said that. Listen to Big Kick Energy on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Didn't catch the latest Roland Martin unfiltered podcast? Here's what you missed. There should not be a single law enforcement agency that does not have body cameras. It's real. Black farmers have been under attack. This is just the latest example of them just slapping DEI on anything. It's raw. And I'm sitting here going, they are playing y'all for fools. Catch Roland Martin's daily commentary on the Black Information Network. And download Roland Martin unfiltered on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 3 (1:50) It's the US Open, which means the tennis world is about to lose its mind, and I'm here for every second of it. Join me, Renee Stubbs, on the Renee Stubbs Tennis Podcast as I break it all down. The matches that matter, the drama that doesn't, and the stories everyone's talking about. No cliches, no sugarcoating, just host analysts from someone who's actually been there. Coco looking real good. Her serve looks so much smoother than it has in the past. I was really happy to see... eager back to what she looked like a couple of years ago when she was winning dominantly. Listen to the Renee Stubbs Tennis Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 1 (2:27) Oh no. Well, what kind of guys' DMs are you sliding into? All shapes, Speaker 7 (2:33) colors, sizes, everything. Yo, you just out here shooting your shot. Honest, I just slid, I recently slid into Drake's DM. You did? After his thing and I was like, I was like, I am your dream girl. Speaker 1 (2:48) Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. All right, guys, today's guest is the hit maker behind some of pop's biggest songs from Eminem and Rihanna's The Monster to G-Eazy's Me, Myself and I, a four time Grammy nominee with billions of streams. She has spent years as the voice behind the hits before becoming a star in her own right. She was recently nominated for a VMA and recently released her fourth studio album, Dirty Blonde. Bebe Rexha's here. here in real life today. Fringy. I Speaker 7 (3:22) know. We're like friends already, right? Yeah, because I Speaker 2 (3:24) feel like I know you because I always used to listen to you on the radio. Speaker 7 (3:27) You Speaker 1 (3:27) did? Growing Speaker 2 (3:27) up, yeah. Because Speaker 1 (3:28) you're a New York girl. I was Speaker 2 (3:29) kind of nervous coming until I like did my research and I was like, she's a girl's girl. Yeah, of course. But I feel like back in the day I was kind of scared, you know? Scared why? Not scared because you always just spoke your mind. That's Speaker 7 (3:39) what Speaker 2 (3:39) I loved about you. Speaker 7 (3:40) Yeah. Speaker 2 (3:41) And... So cute. I always wanted to do a... I know, but you know, being... not a hip hop artist. I always wanted to be on Hot 97. I wanted to be thrown into the ringer. You know what I mean? I loved it. Speaker 7 (3:51) We did other Speaker 1 (3:52) artists back then. You could have totally made it up there. Really? Of course. And you're a New Yorker. You have a vibe. You're the fit right Speaker 7 (3:59) in. But also, I'm kind of the type of person where Speaker 2 (4:02) I like that energy where people just ask me whatever they want. Yeah. Speaker 1 (4:05) Go Speaker 2 (4:05) straight into it. Yeah. Bring me anything. I don't care. Well, I'm an Speaker 1 (4:09) energy girl for sure. So I could tell the second that you walked in today, I was like, oh, we're going to like each other. Okay, good. You know what I'm Speaker 2 (4:15) saying? Speaker 1 (4:15) Yeah, yeah. Speaker 7 (4:16) It's just energy. I feel like I knew you already, so. Oh, yeah. And you are, wait, you grew up in Staten Island. Yes, but I was born in Brooklyn. Born Speaker 1 (4:25) in Brooklyn. Yeah. So I grew up in Brooklyn. I was born in the Bronx. I Speaker 2 (4:29) feel like I kind of grew up in Brooklyn, though, because my grandfather was a super. Speaker 2 (4:34) My grandmother Speaker 1 (4:35) was a super. No way. I swear to God. My grandfather was a super. In Washington Heights. Okay. Speaker 2 (4:40) He was in Bay Ridge. He was a super in Bay Ridge. They had a massive building. Like a, you know, whatever. Yeah. And they gave him like the basement apartment. My mom's going to kill me. But they gave him the basement apartment for free. But imagine he had eight kids. They had eight kids. And like two bedrooms. But we would sleep. Honestly, we'd go visit my grandma and grandpa. We would sleep on the floor. Speaker 1 (4:59) In Brooklyn. Speaker 2 (5:00) Yeah, we sleep on the floor. They had like these little mattresses. Sleep on the floor. We just put pillows and blankets. It's funny. Those were the best days. Speaker 1 (5:07) What about Staten Island? Because Staten Island is, I've lived in Queens, Brooklyn. I've lived in all the boroughs of New York. Staten Island is the only place that I have never lived. It's a forgotten borough. I know. What could you tell us about growing up in Staten Island? Growing Speaker 2 (5:18) up in Staten Island. I don't know. Cause I, I have some, you know, I was always just kind of working on music in my parents' basement. So I never really went. I didn't go to prom. You weren't in the streets? I didn't show up to graduation. Oh, nothing. If I went anywhere, I was always on 125th Street at the studio. Speaker 1 (5:35) In Harlem. Speaker 2 (5:35) Yeah, in Harlem. Yeah. So I would take like the ferry to the, I would take the train to the ferry, four or five train up to 125th. And Speaker 1 (5:44) you're how old at this Speaker 2 (5:44) time? 20. In my early 20s, maybe 19, 18, 19, all the way up to my 20s. And Speaker 1 (5:52) you already knew, but you knew sooner than that, right? You knew that this was what you... Speaker 2 (5:55) Oh, yeah. Like Speaker 1 (5:56) in Speaker 2 (5:56) school, everybody would be like, oh, I want to be a singer. I want to be this. I want to be that. And I was like, I just knew, even at like this age of eight. So Speaker 1 (6:02) were you saying it or you were just quiet? I knew Speaker 2 (6:05) it in my gut. Speaker 1 (6:05) Yeah. I Speaker 2 (6:06) was like, I'm doing this. I don't care. Speaker 1 (6:07) But you had already discovered your voice, right? It was Speaker 2 (6:10) okay. I feel like my songwriting was always better and I had to grow into my voice. Speaker 1 (6:14) Wait, so I know you got an award early, but were you writing that young, like at eight years old? Speaker 2 (6:18) Oh, yeah. About love. Who did you love? You're going to laugh at me? When I was like 11, 12 or whatever, I loved, I don't know, somehow I got into like, into LimeWire and fell into like Neo Soul. Speaker 3 (6:32) So I Speaker 2 (6:32) started writing like Neo Soul songs. I bought like a piano from Costco. for like a hundred and something bucks. I begged my parents and I was just writing me all this old stuff. Speaker 1 (6:42) But like what were you singing about? Boy you Speaker 7 (6:44) know Speaker 2 (6:44) I love Speaker 7 (6:44) you you know I really do every time I see your face fall more in love with you. At eight? No at eight like eleven twelve. Still that's crazy. Speaker 1 (6:56) That sounds like a little hit right there. Speaker 7 (6:58) I don't know maybe back in the day you know but yeah so it was fun. Did you just Was that a real song? Yeah, that's what I wrote. Oh, yeah. That's the actual song. Yes. Speaker 1 (7:08) Boy, I really love you. Speaker 7 (7:11) Who was you loving at that age? Nobody. Maybe a crush. Speaker 1 (7:15) Yeah. Had anybody in your family had a gift like that? Or was this like Speaker 2 (7:18) a new Speaker 1 (7:20) thing that popped out of nowhere? Speaker 2 (7:23) Honestly, back in the day, my dad used to joke around with his opera voice like as a joke. It was actually pretty good. Speaker 1 (7:28) Yeah. Oh, OK. So there was something in there. Minus the bad Speaker 2 (7:31) accent. Yeah. The Albanian accent. But he had Speaker 1 (7:33) something. He Speaker 2 (7:34) had something. Yeah. Speaker 1 (7:35) But you were the first one to discover, like. I was the first one to Speaker 2 (7:39) go for it. Speaker 1 (7:39) Yeah. You know? It's interesting, though, too, because, you know, at that young age, people are not aspiring to be writers or songwriters or write songs as much. I didn't want Speaker 2 (7:50) to, though, low key. In the beginning, I just wanted to be a singer and be famous. Speaker 1 (7:53) And Speaker 2 (7:54) then I met this lady, Samantha Cox. on a BMI. Speaker 7 (7:59) Samantha Speaker 2 (7:59) Cox worked with Gaga back in the day and Kesha. So they were having a moment. And I remember her being like, you can't just be a singer. You need to be a songwriter. So she made me do all these writing classes. And I was a teenager with 40, 50-year-olds in the room who were amazing pianists. the best songwriters. And I was kind of like forced into it. And it's like every week we would write a song and be forced to sing it in front of the people, in front of people. Speaker 1 (8:24) Wow. Yeah. Speaker 2 (8:25) So Speaker 1 (8:26) that's actually like a skill set that you could learn versus like a gift that you just have been given or a little bit of both, probably. A little Speaker 2 (8:32) bit of both. Speaker 1 (8:33) Yeah. But Speaker 2 (8:33) I also feel like it's more so like going in the room and just not like, cause you're in a room. I always say like writing sessions or like if you and me were to get in a room, we have to kind of create something. from thin air, but we have, it's also almost like an energy, like a dating, like a marriage. Speaker 7 (8:48) So Speaker 2 (8:48) if you don't trust me or I don't trust you, or we don't in a sense of like not opening up to each other, like for me, if I don't like something, I'm like, nah, I think we could beat that. Speaker 7 (8:57) And Speaker 2 (8:57) some people are quiet about it, but that doesn't, that's not for the best of the song. Cause the way that the song becomes special is when we're honest with each other. I think that lyric could be better, but you have to also have the confidence to just say what you want. Like, even if it sounds stupid. Speaker 1 (9:13) This is like good in real life, too, Speaker 7 (9:14) by Speaker 1 (9:15) the way. Really? Yeah, because imagine if we could have all of our friendships or our romantic relationships were that honest that you could actually get to a greater place. Because, yeah, I don't really like when you do that. Speaker 2 (9:26) I know. Imagine. I mean, I do that. You do? Yeah. And I don't really have that many friends, but. Speaker 2 (9:34) But I also say the friends that I do have are like the ones I want. Well, that's my point. Exactly. Because they love me for who I am. Who wants the ones that are there? Speaker 7 (9:42) You know, I'm learning Speaker 2 (9:43) with age. And I don't know if you feel this way that I compartmentalize people. Like there are some people that I like to party with. Speaker 1 (9:50) Yeah. And Speaker 2 (9:51) like go out with. They're a good time. They're fun. But when it comes to like daily stuff, they're toxic. Or there's some people that you love that are like. Speaker 2 (9:59) they're just always complaining to you and I'm like what am I like they're like where should I send the invoice yeah I mean like where do I send the invoice you Speaker 7 (10:04) always Speaker 2 (10:04) have a problem yes yeah because to me it's like I feel like everything in life um is about transaction but there's different types of transaction right like if you and me are friends and you come to me with your problems I come to you with my problems then that's an equal transaction but if I'm just coming to you with all my problems and I never want to listen to your problems or be there for you when you need me then like what's that And that goes for relationships, too. It could be physical. Men could probably want, you know, the man wants a woman because she looks good. The woman wants the man because he makes a lot of money. So how could that be wrong? Transactional. He's Speaker 1 (10:37) going for physical. Yeah. Yeah, but then what happens is that woman usually wants more. They think all they want is that. But then they get mad because he's doing this or he's cheating or he wants time or she wants, you know, you start wanting more. I Speaker 2 (10:49) say everything in life is choices. Like when people complain, I'm like, you have a choice because we forget. Like you have a choice. You don't got to stay in that relationship. But sometimes we like, we got to be honest with ourselves. We like the toxicity, the Speaker 7 (11:01) entertainment. Do you like it? Sometimes. You're giving Speaker 2 (11:05) that Speaker 7 (11:06) you might like it Speaker 1 (11:07) a little bit. I Speaker 2 (11:08) like it when I'm like, I like it if I'm in like a good headspace and I know what it's for. Speaker 1 (11:15) But Speaker 2 (11:16) when you let yourself fall too deep and it's toxic. Because really everything's Speaker 1 (11:20) about... Speaker 2 (11:20) If you get lost. Yeah. Speaker 1 (11:21) I've Speaker 2 (11:22) been there. Speaker 1 (11:22) Yeah, you have? Speaker 2 (11:23) Yeah. Speaker 1 (11:24) This probably makes for some good songs. It does. It Speaker 2 (11:26) does. Speaker 1 (11:27) What songs have you created under the most kind of distress of a breakup or a bad relationship? Or Speaker 2 (11:35) not even a breakup, like to go all the way back, like The Monster, Eminem and Rihanna. I was signed to Island through L.A. Reid, but... really decadence records through Pete Wentz. It was a distribution deal. And I had gotten dropped, but I had to beg to get dropped. They didn't want to drop me. You Speaker 1 (11:55) wanted out. Speaker 2 (11:55) So what you do is like, you want to go, but like in a sense, they don't want to let go of you because they're like, what if something happens with this person, then we're going to regret it. It doesn't look good on our behalf. But honestly, I went through like, I got crazy. Speaker 1 (12:09) What do you mean? Speaker 2 (12:11) I was like, I'm depressed. This is going to be, you're going to have blood on your hands. I don't care. I'm like, I got very New York with them. And they're like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. They dropped me. I sent a whole crazy letter. Because I was like, what am I going to just get stuck in this? I was always a fighter from the beginning. So when they dropped me, well, they didn't even drop me. They kind of went silent on me. You know how it is. You have all these people on your team picking up your calls. You have like a family. You think they're a family. And I'm 19. So I'm thinking, oh my gosh, like, you know, my dreams are going to come true. And things happen. I have no bad blood for anybody. I just know how this industry is now. But. That was hard for me. I couldn't process that because I was like, yo, I was like, I thought these people loved me. I thought they believed in me. And I'm calling my product manager. I'm calling my label person, management, no answers. Speaker 7 (12:59) So Speaker 2 (12:59) then I got really into like a darker headspace. And that's when we wrote the monster. Because I found a really amazing quote that said, we stopped looking for the monsters under our beds when we realized they're inside of us. Speaker 3 (13:11) So that Speaker 2 (13:11) was like a very tough time. But I remember going to the studio. on 125th. And the second I left the studio, it was like 1 a.m. I had to go get the ferry because the buses stopped running and it started snowing. I remember that night so vividly. Wow. I was in my big, like, North Face puffer with, you know, with the fur and... walking to the train station and it was snowing and I was like, I can't tell you the high I was on. I was like, wow. I was like, we really wrote something special. Was Speaker 7 (13:42) it for Em at that point already or no? Speaker 2 (13:44) It was for my, like, remember back in the day when they did EPKs? They would do three, four songs. And I remember playing that. But I was also like trying to find my sound and like find who I was. I remember playing that for one big executive and he was like, there's something here. But then I never heard from him again. You know what I was saying? Speaker 2 (14:05) I'm going to keep it honest. It's so funny. I was just, I was never like, you know, I was always trying to find my identity. Speaker 1 (14:11) I Speaker 2 (14:11) think in this whole process. Speaker 1 (14:13) So wait, when, how did Em get, find that? So Speaker 2 (14:16) when I was in the studio, I don't know what came over me. I'm very big on energy and on like, you know, whatever you want to believe in God, spiritual. Something came over me when we were writing the hook. And I said, we had not even written the verses yet. And I told the producer, I said, I feel like this could be an Eminem song. I really do. I said it out of nowhere, out of nowhere. And I'm always like this more hyper person. I was like super excited to be in the studio, like jumping off the walls. And he was like, baby, let's focus. Let's get the verses down. He's like, let's just, you know what I mean? And I planted that in his head. And then he sent it to Riggs Morales. And Riggs sent it to Eminem. Speaker 7 (14:59) Wow. Speaker 2 (15:00) And I heard nothing. And then they wanted the files. And then for a year, I heard nothing. Silence. Until he posted the track list on his Instagram. Speaker 7 (15:09) Right. I Speaker 1 (15:10) was like, yeah. Speaker 2 (15:12) I'm going to finally make some money, you know? How Speaker 1 (15:15) does that change your life, that moment? Speaker 2 (15:17) It changed my life because then I was able to get a publishing deal. And then I could actually move to LA and get a studio apartment. Growing up in New York, I was like, I want a studio apartment. I need to be able to see the door. You know, I don't like a big... You don't know how to get out? Yeah. I want to see if somebody breaks in or whatever, you know? But it helped kind of give me a... A Speaker 1 (15:44) push, probably, right? A Speaker 2 (15:45) push. It gave me a little bit more confidence. I feel like confidence is really big. And it also had people in the industry take me more seriously. So it opened up more doors to write with other bigger producers and writers. Yeah. Because that's the hardest part. Because in the beginning, I was going to Connecticut. I was going to Jersey. I was writing... In New York at the time, you have to understand that like everybody was already kind of in L.A. Besides Stargate was still in New York and then Benny Blanco was still in New York. But I was still not big enough to be working with them at the time. And everybody was heading to L.A. So all the people that were really here were all the hip hop producers. So they were all here. Like I worked with Omen a lot. May he rest in peace. He passed away. That was hard for me because he really believed in me. But I was just writing with all the hip hop producers. Speaker 7 (16:33) That's good. It Speaker 2 (16:34) was good because it taught me like, you know, it taught me different things. But then also it's to get hip hop producers to make pop is very hard. You're going to get more rhythmic, you know. And you knew that Speaker 1 (16:43) already. I Speaker 2 (16:43) think growing up in New York and also my Albanian background, that came kind of second nature to me. Yeah. Speaker 1 (16:50) You know. When you say your Albanian background, how has that been instrumental? I love the video, by the way. Oh, yeah. It's so cute. Well, we Speaker 2 (17:02) love dancing. But we don't see that a lot. Well, you know why? What is that? I think, I don't know if other people have felt this, but I feel like with different cultures in America, and when I was growing up, especially all the pop stars, everybody felt very like... from the South or like super like American blonde hair, blue eyes or Latin. There was a lot. So maybe it's a little different, but it like during the time where I was growing up, it wasn't really cool. Like nobody wanted, like, unless you were like. Speaker 2 (17:35) certain races it wasn't like i didn't want to i was embarrassed by it i know that sounds weird no i get it but i think after like especially like in new york growing up in new york especially after 9-11 and everything i feel like there was a different narrative and uh towards uh different cultures in new york Speaker 1 (17:51) um Speaker 2 (17:52) and that's interesting Speaker 1 (17:54) because when you normally when you think of new york pre-9-11 especially It's like a melting pot. It's like one of Speaker 2 (17:59) the Speaker 1 (17:59) most beautiful things about New York is that you get to know different cultures. But Speaker 2 (18:03) in entertainment, though, Speaker 1 (18:03) I feel like if Speaker 2 (18:04) you don't fit, like if you don't fit in a specific box. Yeah. It's just like kind of like I always say, like when you go get McDonald's anywhere in the world, the French fries taste the same. And I feel like as human beings, we like that comfort. So for me, it's like I never really fit in a box. Because I grew up, the Albanian culture is like, you know, we have like lodra, like we dance to like just drums. You know, it's a mix of like, you know, we were overtaken by the Turkish Ottoman Empire. But then we have like a little bit of Greek and Italian, you know, that kind of we're in that region. So it's Balkan. We're balking. You know, there's not a lot of balking in the industry and pop. Speaker 1 (18:44) So Speaker 2 (18:45) that was a little bit of a different thing. And I think my dad being an immigrant with what? With almost six kids, five, six kids. Speaker 1 (18:53) I've heard stories. You tell stories about them not really understanding what you wanted to do at all at the beginning of this. Right. Speaker 1 (19:02) And I think about that, like, your dad probably came here with these big dreams or dreams of, like, what? Like, that you should be... A Speaker 2 (19:08) doctor, a lawyer. Yeah, exactly. Which now I get as I'm, like, getting older because I'm like, damn, I wish we had a doctor or a lawyer in the family. You know what I mean? Because they could just speak a little different, you know? Speaker 7 (19:19) Yeah. Speaker 2 (19:20) But I chose the opposite. And he was just, I think he was scared. Because that's what they, you know, they see in the media. Drug, sex, rock and roll, which is... That's basically what it is. I mean, it's not a lie, dad. It's not a lie, but it's about how you, I think they raised me pretty well. Yeah. They must be Speaker 1 (19:36) so proud. Speaker 2 (19:37) Yeah. Now they are. Yeah. And in the beginning, my dad was really nervous. Really? Yeah. I think it was more so like what he saw like growing up and like more so the perception because the Albanian community is really tight knit and everybody's like, watch, you know, be careful. She's going to LA. Speaker 2 (19:53) Thank God I never, you know, fell into anything crazy. Speaker 1 (19:56) When did you decide that? Because you mentioned when you were younger that you were almost like embarrassed. Of course. About that. Your background. I Speaker 2 (20:04) struggled. I feel like I struggled for the longest time. Like, because I feel like I had this Albanian girl in me. Whereas like, you know, I was kind of raised more like old school traditional. Like learned how to make coffee young. Like when you, like it's changed now, obviously. Now we're in America. But back in the day, it was like, you know, you were raised to like be the perfect. bride the perfect it's still like you know the perfect bride like cleaning cooking you know very old school vibes so I was kind of on the outskirts of that but I still wanted to be like a good daughter and I struggle with like being Albanian and then like wanting to be you know more American and like a pop star and then trying to find like an in-between and I think now um in this era I'm like I even want to incorporate more sounds for my culture um There's actually an Uprise and like Vulcan dance coming up. It's cool. That's fire. Yeah, it's really sick. Speaker 6 (20:56) Hey everyone, it's the Jonas Brothers with the Hey Jonas podcast. We've been catching up with some great friends, Paul Rudd, Michael Buble, Seth Meyers, Niall Horan, Jake Shane, and Speaker 8 (21:04) making some new friends while getting into what's really like to have sisters like Alex and Ashton Earle. Speaker 3 (21:09) She likes to control everyone and tell everyone what to do. Okay, well, control Speaker 5 (21:11) is a harsh word. I would say that's a harsh word. I am more outspoken. Growing up, a lot of the times, because she was so quiet, I would speak for, like, the both of us. Now I'm working on, like, thinking a moment, reeling it in, thinking before I speak. Speaker 6 (21:27) And Joey King. You Speaker 3 (21:28) know if your, like, mom is yelling at your sibling, and even