Shaun Robinson on Aging Out Loud, the Power of Representation, and Helping the Next Generation

How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva

In this episode of 'How Hard Can It Be?', host Diana Maria Riva sits down with award-winning journalist and '90 Day Fiancé' host Shaun Robin

Key takeaways

• Embracing one's true age brings freedom and relief from societal expectations.
• The rise of AI-perfect influencers distorts body image and promotes unrealistic ideals.

Main topics

• Aging openly and authentically
• The impact of social media and AI on self-perception

Notable quotes

"I stopped hiding my age, and the freedom and relief that came with it was incredible."

Conclusion

Shaun Robinson's journey from hiding her age to embracing it with confidence

Transcript preview

Speaker 8 (0:00) Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Geratana, Speaker 5 (0:02) Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald, and Speaker 8 (0:04) we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast, the Speaker 5 (0:08) improvised character comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Join us for a Speaker 6 (0:14) panel of Eurovision participants. And Speaker 8 (0:17) we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. Speaker 5 (0:22) He gets right up next to the microphone. Speaker 8 (0:24) I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. Speaker 5 (0:27) You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Speaker 8 (0:32) Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Speaker 7 (0:37) Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If Speaker 8 (1:12) your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 7 (1:42) So like by age 11 or so, at least 70 % have a phone. Speaker 4 (1:46) I'm Dr. Joy, and this is Therapy for Black Girls. We spend our surviving middle school run getting into what's happening inside your kid's brain, their group chats, and their friendships, and what you can do about it. Speaker 6 (1:57) Your child is not doing this on purpose. Speaker 4 (1:59) That's the kind of perspective we've been pulling from the psychologists and psychiatrists who study this for a living. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 1 (2:11) Self-care September is your reminder to slow down, check in with yourself, get off your phone, and maybe ask, why am I like this? I'm Gemma Spegg, host of the Psychology of Your 20s podcast, and this month we're helping you make sense of the person that you are becoming, from setting boundaries and navigating friendships, to understanding anxiety, confidence, relationships, and attachment. Sometimes our biggest decisions, without us even realizing it, aren't driven by what we truly want, but by what will prevent us from feeling lonely or being alone. Listen to The Psychology of Your 20s on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 3 (2:53) You know how some of your girlfriends are your cheerleaders and others are your bodyguard and a few of them out there are your Yoda? Well, my next guest is all three and we'll talk about it. We'll also talk about carrying the weight of other people's opinions, a soft launch on being 60, and what would happen if we let go of the fear. Really, how hard can it be? Speaker 3 (3:17) Hi, I'm Diana Maria Riva, host of How Hard Can It Be, a podcast where we discuss midlife and navigating its most fantastic bullshit. And I'm here with an incredibly smart, talented, beautiful woman. She's also an award-winning journalist. She got her start as a TV news reporter, came out onto the scene on Access Hollywood. And we know her today from being the host of 90 Day Fiancé and all of his franchises and navigating that drama, something that I do want to talk about. She's also an author and a philanthropist. Please welcome my guest, Sean Speaker 2 (3:52) Robinson. Thank you. I got to tell you, you are so fly. I love you so much. You are just so fly. Your energy. You just like, there's some people when they walk into the room, like the, it just, the room is just lighter and funnier. And, you know, yeah. So you have that. You are. That's very special. Look Speaker 3 (4:10) at how Speaker 2 (4:10) we're starting Speaker 3 (4:10) this. She flatters me. Thank you. I am in awe being given the opportunity. I'm an actor. I'm not a journalist. I didn't study. Journalism like you did and being given the opportunity to sit with a journalist, an accomplished one, an acclaimed one, makes me nervous. But I also know. how much you welcome women into your space and want them to dive in and try. Speaker 2 (4:39) So Speaker 3 (4:40) I am just very grateful that you are, when your name came up, I was like, could you please ask her? Because I met you for the first time very briefly a few months ago. Yes, we were Speaker 2 (4:49) at Soho House. We were at Soho House. West Hollywood. And you were with one of my favorite ladies, Lisa Vidal. I mean, she is amazing. The Shirley to Myla Verne. And do you remember what we saw, what I told you? you was coming that night? The lunar... It was a rising of the full moon. Oh, it was... Yeah, remember when the moon came over the horizon? I've never seen it that big. I Speaker 3 (5:12) know, Speaker 2 (5:12) it was beautiful. And so, like, I'm like a moon child and I follow the phases just because I find it... So, it makes me realize that there is something so much bigger out there than us. Yes. And so, I'm glad that we had that moon rising experience Speaker 3 (5:27) together. Speaker 2 (5:27) I'm glad that you mentioned it Speaker 3 (5:29) because I'm a moon child. I am... the last day of cancer. July 22nd. You're Speaker 2 (5:36) a Speaker 3 (5:36) cancer? Yes. Stop it. Yes. You are too, aren't you? July Speaker 2 (5:39) 11th. Yes. You're my sister's birthday. That's right. Yes. 7-11. I have to say. That is the best birthday of the entire year. You cannot find a better. It's the middle of the summer. It's the middle of the summer. Everybody's happy. They're on vacation. 7-11. Listen, your sister and me, it's the best birthday. Speaker 3 (6:02) It is. And you double that, you got 22. It's 7-22. And this Speaker 2 (6:06) year, I celebrate my 64th birthday. Speaker 3 (6:12) You know what? When you talk about embrace the age, embrace the stage, you do it beautifully. Well, you are gorgeous. Thank you. I brought in beauty Speaker 2 (6:20) light. We Speaker 3 (6:21) don't need them for her. Speaker 2 (6:22) You are beautiful. Well, thank you. I didn't always embrace it, though. When I got to Access Hollywood in 1999, there was that was before social media. Yeah, that was before Wikipedia. Good old days. All that. So when I remember when I got there, there's a girlfriend of mine who lives in L.A. We were in. third grade together in Detroit, Michigan. And she lives there. And she would always say, Sean, can you just remind me how old we are? Because I know I see all these interviews you're doing in magazines and you're mentioning a different age in every single interview. I would shave off like 12 years. Oh, yes. I'm hitting the big 42. Can't wait. And she's like, Sean, I just want to just tell me how old we are just so I can keep up. Yeah. And so then when Your friends will keep you straight. I remember when Wikipedia came out. And girl, they had my agent there. I said, who do I call at Wikipedia to get this off of this thing called the Internet? What is this about? Yes. Yes. Speaker 3 (7:32) Do you ever live with any kind of clock telling you to hurry up, do more things, live more? I constantly question whether I'm working too much, hustling too much, and not truly having those moments of real life. Yes, Speaker 2 (7:45) yes. And I try to remind myself that happiness is not coming down the line. Happiness is right here where we are right now. I woke up last night and I... made the mistake of looking at my phone. And there was a text from a high school classmate of ours, of mine. And she said that a classmate of ours had passed away. Oh, no. And I went to, and it was so crazy as I had just seen, we had just had our reunion, our high school reunion 10 months ago in Detroit, Michigan. Oh, and that person was there? She was the one who arranged the high school reunions. Oh, my God. Okay. Yeah. She was the one who would arrange the high school reunions and would notify us if any classmate of ours had passed away. Now, my class, we had about 800 kids in my graduating class in high school. That's big. Grew up in Detroit, Michigan, Cass Tech High School. Dinah Ross was one of our famous alumni. Speaker 2 (8:54) She, this woman, Arisa, who, God rest her soul, she was the one that would always keep us updated on what classmates had passed away. Last August, when we had our, I graduated from high school in 1980. So we had our reunion. Was that 45? 45th or 45th reunion. And there was a table of. And little, like little kind of plaques, if you will, small plaques of all of our classmates that had passed away. There were 51. Speaker 2 (9:39) 51 high school classmates who had passed away. But granted, this was a class of 800 plus, really closer to 900. But there were 51 people that were no longer there. And when I looked at, and I took a picture of it, and when I looked at the table, I said, shit, man. There before the grace of God, go I. And listen, one day we're all going to be dead. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you better enjoy it right now. You better stop thinking about that little bullshit that makes you upset. Somebody said something about you or your fat thighs or your wrinkle. You better start enjoying it right now. Yeah. Because pretty soon. There's going to be another generation of people looking back on us. Yeah. And we're going to be out of here. Yes. So I've had to adopt that attitude. Yeah. Speaker 3 (10:36) Yeah. And how about in the moment course correcting? Are you good at that? When you find yourself in that little what I call swirling the toilet bowl? Speaker 2 (10:43) Yeah. Yeah. Well, it depends on what it is. I get when it's something about myself. Yeah. Like, oh. You know, somebody said something that made me upset. You know, I find I kind of wallow in it and then I have to kind of snap myself out of it. If it's somebody that I'm concerned about, somebody else. Speaker 2 (11:06) then I start, I look at it differently, but I want them to get out of it. I'm like, step out of it, you know? And I have to remind myself that I need to do the same. Yeah. But how do you, are you good at letting go what's not yours? I didn't used to be. I used to Speaker 3 (11:23) be Speaker 2 (11:23) horrible at letting go. I used to really, really be horrible at letting go of something. And it was, I think it was based in the fear. That that was as good as it was going to get, whether it was a person, a relationship, whether it was a job, whether it was just a project. I was thinking, is that all there's going to be? And that's why I need to hold on to it. And then I remember as I, you know, as I go along. And I create more opportunities and I meet more people and I have more ideas about creativity and I help more lives. Yeah. I realize, why was I hanging on to that? There was this guy in high school. Speaker 1 (12:15) He Speaker 2 (12:16) had an Afro out to here. That's me on a Sunday picture. We thought he was the finest thing. Yes. Finest one. Speaker 2 (12:27) I'm not even going to mention his name because he might be listening to this. Was Speaker 3 (12:30) he Speaker 2 (12:30) at Speaker 3 (12:30) the Speaker 2 (12:30) reunion? He was actually two years ahead of me. Okay, okay. Sorry, I digress. Go ahead. So he really wasn't feeling me. But I remember seeing him. We were like, oh, my God, there he is walking down the hallway. And I remember seeing him just kind of years later. I was like, you know, wow, think of all that time. I really thought that that was like the cat's meow. Like, I thought that was it. And, you know, it Speaker 3 (12:59) wasn't. That happens a lot. Yeah. You see people and you're like, I was like, it would have been the everything. Oh, yeah. If I had been asked out by that person. Oh, Speaker 2 (13:11) absolutely. Speaker 3 (13:11) Yeah. Speaker 2 (13:12) No question. Speaker 3 (13:12) You wrote a book in 2009. So it's been a minute since you came to. case of clarity in your life where you decided to write this book, and this is why I'm bringing it up, called Exactly As I Am, Celebrated Women Share Candid Advice With Today's Girls On What It Takes To Believe In Yourself. You wrote this in 2000 life. It wasn't even midlife. Yeah, but you felt that this was a time to speak up and have this conversation with women. What propelled you or what was the moment? Because this is like, I want to give this to myself and my 21-year-old daughter. Yeah, you Speaker 2 (13:44) know, I remember and I've been trying, you know, one of these days I'm going to write a sequel. I'm going to get to that sequel. More candid advice for today's girls on what it takes to be. And I wrote that, you know, 2000, I actually started writing it exactly as I am in 2007. Speaker 2 (14:02) And I wrote it to teen girls about believing in yourself and dreaming big. Back then, I would get all of these basically letters back then from girls asking me about the celebrities that I interview on the red carpet. Are they as beautiful in person as they are on TV or on the magazine covers or in the movies? You know, oh, my gosh, you know, the performance. And I realized then that even though I had this incredible job, there were so many girls that were looking at me on TV and were looking at the celebrities. Because back then, they didn't have their own Instagram account where they were being raw and real and whatever. It was you had to turn on the TV. You had to buy the magazine to see the celebrity. And so I wanted, I wrote this book to teen girls. to let them know that it doesn't matter what you look like, how much money you have, how much fame you have. True self-esteem comes from another place. It comes from a much deeper place. And so the celebrities that I talk to, I ask them, what is your advice to teen girls? What should they know about where does true self-esteem come from? And I also interviewed... girls around the country. I had these task force groups and I asked girls what made them feel good about themselves and what made them feel bad about themselves. And I remember this young lady said, I think she was about 15 years old. She