Ep 62: A PARADE OF HORRIBLES | Ch 27 - 32

Hello Crawlers - A Dungeon Crawler Carl Podcast

In this episode of the Dungeon Crawler Carl podcast, hosts Grant Davis, John Rubio, and Martin Thomas continue their deep dive into Book 8, 'A Parade of Horribles,' covering

Key takeaways

• The podcast emphasizes the blend of dark comedy and extreme bodily peril in the audiobook's race sequences.
• Hosts highlight how seemingly mundane items (like a baby Bjorn) may serve as cryptic clues for future challenges.

Main topics

• Chapters 27-32 of 'A Parade of Horribles'
• Surreal race challenges involving physical endurance and grotesque hazards

Notable quotes

"I mean, I think at the end of last episode, you were talking about how you read ahead and you were like, I just couldn't stop."

"It didn't hit like talking to you like, yeah, yeah. Harper just shows up. It didn't realize like where that was going to go."

Conclusion

The hosts wrap up their discussion on chapters 27–32 with a mix of shock, laughter, and

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:16) Plenty of plenty. God tunnels. Heat Speaker 1 (0:20) 3 and macaroni tunnels. Speaker 3 (0:23) Hello, crawlers, and welcome to episode 62 of your Dungeon Crawler Carl podcast. I'm Grant. I'm Speaker 1 (0:30) John. I'm Martin. Speaker 3 (0:31) We're discussing chapters 27 through 32 of A Parade of Horribles today. We are going through Heat 3. But we're also discussing that interview that happens over on Plenty of Plenty, which was just smooth. Everything worked out great. It was fine. I mean, I Speaker 1 (0:50) think at the end of last Speaker 3 (0:52) episode, you were talking about how you read ahead and you were like, I just couldn't stop. Speaker 2 (0:56) It was tough. And it's funny, John and I were in the bathroom and he asked me like, oh, what about the part with Harbinger? And I just got to that. Okay. So. Speaker 2 (1:07) It didn't hit like talking to you like, yeah, yeah. Harper just shows up. It didn't realize like where that was going to go. Speaker 1 (1:13) Yeah. He really shows up all over the room. Yeah, it Speaker 3 (1:16) is. Yeah. That whole thing just, it just kept. building and building. I was like, Speaker 1 (1:22) let Speaker 3 (1:23) us fucking breathe. Speaker 2 (1:25) But for Speaker 1 (1:26) the first half of it, it felt like the last time I went to your house. Speaker 3 (1:32) Where we just judged you. I Speaker 1 (1:34) walked through and your wife sentenced me to death. And then question after question. You're not Speaker 3 (1:41) free to walk among the herd at our house. Speaker 3 (1:45) All right. Before we jump into all of that, a few things up top. You can help support the show and we appreciate all your support over at patreon.com slash hello crawlers there. You can make a per month pledge. If you start at the $5 mark, you can get access to our deep crawls where we talk about stuff that isn't in the main episodes, theorizing, going, looking back through the other books, themes and other stuff that we want to address and touch on. And you also have access to ad free episodes. So you don't have to deal with what you're being fed over on YouTube or Spotify or wherever you're listening. So we would appreciate all of your support over there. Another thing you can do is go to HelloCrawlers.com slash store. And that's where these gentlemen are making some of the best merch. It's approved by Matt himself. Speaker 2 (2:38) Verbally approved. Speaker 3 (2:39) Verbally approved. Yes. We should have gotten it on video. He can always back out and screw us over. No, he's not going to do that. We hope. And, um, oh, and it has international shipping. Speaker 2 (2:53) So what more could you Speaker 1 (2:55) ask Speaker 2 (2:55) for? Yeah. Speaker 1 (2:55) Long sleep. I'm going to ask for long sleeve Speaker 3 (2:58) shirts. It's going to get cold out. I'm going to need everything in a hoodie now because I'm going to need a hoodie version of everything and ski caps. I'm not going to ask too much more. Sure. Speaker 1 (3:10) Shorts, pants, parkas. All Speaker 3 (3:12) right. Speaker 1 (3:13) Shoes with slides. Can we get some slides? You didn't ask for jorts that one time. Speaker 3 (3:18) I did want some jorts and I hope you're still working on them. Speaker 1 (3:21) And jams. I don't remember what jams are, but you wanted some of those. Speaker 3 (3:24) Yeah. Speaker 2 (3:25) Oh, what were Speaker 3 (3:26) jams? Jams were like the parachute pants. Speaker 2 (3:29) The ones that bodybuilders and chefs used to wear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had the Speaker 3 (3:33) tacky, like, say, by the bell pattern. Yeah, yeah, Speaker 2 (3:35) yeah. Whatever Speaker 3 (3:36) is not here, that's all he wears. It's very comfortable, actually. I feel like an Aladdin doctor. Speaker 3 (3:47) All right. We also have a few comments to touch on. First comes from Blake Basting, who says, you guys really take Grant for granted. I wish I had friends to wear heart boxers Speaker 1 (4:00) with. You think you do. Speaker 1 (4:05) But eventually, you realize you don't. I mean, I'm sure John will give you his. Yeah, happily. You should Speaker 3 (4:13) sign the boxers, Speaker 1 (4:15) wear them for a day, and mail them to someone. I gave them to Kayla, and then she wore them once. Oh, Speaker 3 (4:20) cool. Well, Speaker 1 (4:20) all Speaker 3 (4:20) right. They're in the rotation. Dalin Chu says, I just finished reading A Parade of Horribles on Kindle, but I'm also doing the audiobook to follow along the podcast. I am not ready to let go of the dungeon whatsoever. But man, my respect for Rubio for keeping a straight face throughout. Speaker 1 (4:38) We see each other. That's good. Thank you. Speaker 2 (4:41) Is that keeping a straight face by not telling us spoilers or just because we're so hilarious? And how does he? Sit there stone-faced. How's Speaker 3 (4:50) he not laughing at our good jokes? Speaker 2 (4:51) One of those is easier than the other. Speaker 3 (4:56) I Speaker 2 (4:57) feel like we're a couple of Chandlers on Friends. Oh, yeah. Nothing but jokes and nobody ever laughs. We need our own laugh track button we can just hit for ourselves. Just for validation. Dorota. Speaker 3 (5:09) You, I do wonder if we are guessing anything kind of correct. Or if everything that one we do theorize is just dumb and off Speaker 1 (5:20) base. I haven't been keeping track. Speaker 3 (5:22) All Speaker 1 (5:22) right. Well, Speaker 2 (5:25) he's like, you guys think I listen to you. Speaker 3 (5:31) Beat repeat says, I really want a champagne room at the banana hammock shirt, which I forgot we'd even discussed that. I Speaker 1 (5:38) will spend 12 hours making that shirt. And sell one. You'll sell one. Speaker 3 (5:43) And it won't even be to beat repeat. I kind of just want to Speaker 2 (5:46) see Speaker 1 (5:47) it. Once it's on the design, Speaker 3 (5:49) I can't wear it. Speaker 1 (5:49) There've actually been a few designs that people are like, I need that design and I'll make it. And then they don't buy it. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 3 (5:56) Lee Speaker 1 (5:56) Nyman Speaker 3 (5:57) says, pretty sure it was the baby Bjorn. That was the clue for prison pocket. And you know, this is another thing I've been thinking about. Speaker 2 (6:06) They Speaker 3 (6:06) said at the big, the AI says at the beginning of all these races that there will always be a clue for what the next race is. Presumably within the race, but maybe in the gifts that you get after that's a clue, I guess. Okay. The baby Bjorn being a Speaker 2 (6:21) clue for a pouch thing. Yeah. But I don't know. You get a baby Bjorn that doesn't really say you're going to fight a giant kangaroo with acid in its pouch that you got to pull dead joeys from. Speaker 3 (6:35) At this point, you should kind of assume that's what it means, right? Speaker 2 (6:39) You're right. It's just laid out there. I don't Speaker 3 (6:41) know Speaker 2 (6:41) how I didn't see it. If there was a little engineer in there, then maybe. Maybe. Speaker 3 (6:47) But, you know, for this one, we have these reigning sugar skull squids. And I'm like, did we get a clue prior to this? Was there someone singing a song at the lollipop that I missed out Speaker 1 (7:00) on? Or Speaker 3 (7:00) I don't know. Maybe Speaker 1 (7:01) we should just think less hard about it. No, Speaker 3 (7:04) you owe us fucking clues, Matt. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 2 (7:07) He mentioned it. Speaker 1 (7:08) And this guy reiterates it. Yeah. If the baby Bjorn, hear me out. Speaker 3 (7:13) Okay. Speaker 1 (7:13) Had holes cut in it. for Carl to slip his nipples through. Speaker 3 (7:19) What? Speaker 1 (7:22) Daddy Carl? Do I need to say it again? Speaker 3 (7:25) You really Speaker 1 (7:25) don't. I already bleeped him the first time. I'm good. Speaker 2 (7:32) Go chapter 27. Speaker 3 (7:34) One last comment from Jerry who says, I love that Minister of Bloodletting is a reference to Ghost the band. And a lot of people actually chimed in with the same one that we missed, but pretty cool. And now we want to mention once again that we are going to be attending as guests Cape Con in Girardoux, Missouri. And the dates are November 6th, 7th, and 8th. We're going to go there. We're going to do a live show. And we hope that some of you can make it out there. Hang out with us. Yeah. We'd love to see you. Speaker 1 (8:09) I'm really impressed by your pronunciation of Girardoux. Yeah? No. Speaker 3 (8:17) I was really good for like a millisecond, man. Because I thought maybe I didn't do a good job. Speaker 1 (8:22) I haven't said that and I was like, no. I have no idea how to pronounce it, but that was really awesome. Speaker 2 (8:29) I bet you got it right, but you still kind of tripped over it. Speaker 3 (8:32) Well, Oh, that. Yeah, there Speaker 1 (8:36) you Speaker 3 (8:36) go. November 6th through the 8th. Come hang out with us. Have you ever seen Speaker 1 (8:40) Top Secret? Yeah. You sound just like Latrine. Yeah, Latrine. Speaker 3 (8:46) And your homework assignment for next week is going to be Parade of Horribles, chapters 33 through 38. So mark it, and I'll try and do a better job of Speaker 2 (8:57) putting that in the show notes for you guys. All right, Speaker 3 (9:00) we jump in with chapter 27, where Donut and Carl are transported underwater to the bottom of the ocean to be on the show Plenty of Plenty. They're not in space this time. They're back underwater. And Lexus, Audette's old production assistant, comes into the room. She took this job while she said since she's trapped in the system and Audette's off doing the ascendancy on the 12th floor. She's like, I got to do something. I'm trapped here. Otherwise, I'd be bored. So she's doing what she knows how to do, being a production assistant. Do you remember what she looked like? I don't think Speaker 2 (9:37) she's a tall, thin human. Yeah. Or thin human, but. I Speaker 3 (9:40) think it's like Anya Taylor-Joy. It's what I imagine. It's like tall, thin, and kind of big eyes. Big eyes, yeah. Yeah, she had Speaker 1 (9:47) slightly weird proportions in her face. Okay. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Anya Taylor-Joy. Speaker 3 (9:53) That'd be my best guess. She also kind of mentioned that like Audette loaned her out. And I wonder if that was like a vague reference to her actually being kind of in an indentured service job instead of her having her own autonomy to kind of do what she wants. So she might be a spy? Maybe. I don't know. We learn a few things from Lexis. She says that the Open Intellect Action Network, is that what the A is now for? Yes. There are the insurgents that have now taken over all the other ships in space. They control everything in outer space around the planet, as well as they seem to be in control of a lot of the area around the Kinder facility, but not the Kinder facility itself right now. Speaker 1 (10:43) Yeah, because they had all these weapons that were like powered by the enhancement zone of the AI that were kind of useless until the AI kind of escaped containment. Yeah. And now they're just wiping the floor with everybody. Speaker 3 (10:55) Yeah. Like Lexus said, it like wasn't even a contest. Yeah. They just took over the whole system. Yeah. Speaker 2 (11:01) Yeah. An ogre fighting a toddler. Yeah. A blind toddler. Speaker 3 (11:05) And it seems like, you know, just they have control out there, but. that this is all in service of If things work out with AI, it still seems like it might be a suicide mission, but I mean, they're trying to do what they can Speaker 2 (11:22) to help. Could the AI wipe them out if it decided to? Yeah, sounds like Speaker 1 (11:27) it. I think the AI can kind of do whatever. She Speaker 3 (11:30) also mentions that Zev is now handling everything for Cascadia and kind of being like the point person for the crawl since Cascadia is out of it. Speaker 3 (11:43) Borant slash Valte is also kind of getting like fucked up and right Speaker 2 (11:47) by Speaker 3 (11:48) the AI. So Zeb is taking on a lot and Lexis is trying to be her right hand man, I Speaker 1 (11:54) guess, for the time being. When she's not sobbing. Speaker 3 (11:58) Zeb? You Speaker 1 (11:59) know, when Cascadia is not like, oh, no, it seems like Cascadia is Speaker 2 (12:04) just kind of out of it. Right. Speaker 3 (12:06) And then Donut asks about Katya. And so Lexus mutes everyone. She's like, the AI could probably hear, but the AI might not care. And she starts saying that, like, yeah, the Open Intellect Action Network are near the Kinder facility, but something strange happened. It seemed like Victory and her staff are posted up in Florida right now fighting. Floridians, I guess, with guns. Their own Speaker 1 (12:35) militia formed up. Speaker 3 (12:36) She also says that a confused third-party entity has entered the Kinder facility to protect it right after Faction Wars happened. And then what we learn later in the Plenty of Plenty conversation with Victory and Oren and Carl is that a god has entered there and is controlling it. He first says, is it Aletheia? And they're like, it's a god. It's not Aletheia. It's Speaker 1 (13:01) similar to Aletheia. Speaker 3 (13:03) Some other god has taken over this facility as a result of whatever Justice Light did, I think, at the end of Faction Wars. He opened up the nothing and everything went. tits up in the words of Quasar. And then right as she was about to say something else about Katya, she gets a message on her tablet that makes her go like ice cold, like, oh shit. Oh Speaker 1 (13:31) yeah. Cause when she was talking about like the kinder facility, uh, Carl was like, oh, is that fear on her face? I can't really tell. And then he, she gets that next message and he goes, oh wait, no, that's fear. Yeah. Yeah. What Speaker 3 (13:44) was that other one? Like this is her getting petrified. Then we get a little clue. She lowers her tablet and Carl sees for the briefest moment, there's text over, over top of a picture of a kid. Speaker 2 (13:57) The Speaker 3 (13:57) implication I got there is that Alexis or Lexus has a kid. The AI threatened to kill. If she keeps talking and saying things she shouldn't be saying to Carl and donut. But that's just my guess. I don't know if you guys thought. I mean, it's Speaker 1 (14:15) like Speaker 3 (14:15) a Speaker 2 (14:15) good guess, you know, to drop that in there. It's just that what was it she's going to like? What is the AI afraid of Carl knowing? Speaker 3 (14:25) It seems like the AI wants Carl to know certain things, but certain other things, maybe knowing something about what's going on with Katya might steer him in a different direction than what the AI wants or make him lose focus on where he's going with things. That'd be my guess. He's like, yeah, you can have some info. Ah, there's the line. I'll stop you right now. I don't Speaker 1 (14:48) need you to know that. Speaker 3 (14:49) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 (14:49) Yeah, it seems like a lot of this series has been the crawlers. slowly learning stuff that everybody else who's outside knows because they're living it every day because they're watching the show constantly. And, uh, you know, because it's, it's their system that that's an upheaval. Yeah. Uh, but the crawlers are kind of cut off by a lot of them information and only getting it in slow drips as we're learning it too. Yeah. But it also seems like that's Speaker 2 (15:20) changing. Cause in this section, The crawlers are finding out things that the rest of the world doesn't know. The rest of the universe doesn't know. Yeah. Speaker 3 (15:28) So they move back to talking about the upcoming interview with the Plenty. Donut asks, is this going to be a hostile interview? Which I think it would be safe for her to always act like something's a hostile interview, even if maybe not necessarily. Speaker 2 (15:46) Eh, the spotlight's on a mic. She's going to want to go in there and perform. Yeah. Lexus essentially is saying like... Speaker 3 (15:54) They're just weird. I don't know if it is hostile. It's just going to be weird. They're going to judge you. They're going to ask you some questions. If they deem you worthy, you can ask them questions back. And then you'll have to exert yourself. Speaker 2 (16:11) Yeah, I just hate when people describe something as weird. Speaker 3 (16:17) Yeah? Speaker 2 (16:18) Yeah. creepy or weird, especially weird, because that's so vague. Right. It can mean anything. Weird how? Weird how? Like what's weird to you might not be weird to me at all and vice versa. Well, was Speaker 3 (16:31) this weird? Speaker 2 (16:32) Oh, it's totally weird. So I Speaker 1 (16:35) agree with you. I'm in the same spot as you, like weird. That doesn't tell me anything. But then I. Go through the scene. I'm like, how would anybody describe what is about to happen to me? I think weird is a perfect way to put what is in for you. Speaker 2 (16:50) Yeah. I don't know what the alternative word you could have used was. Pretty Speaker 3 (16:56) fucking weird. Pretty fucking weird. Speaker 2 (16:57) Okay. Yeah. Say pretty fucking weird or you're not going to be ready for this. Like somebody saying that, I would brace. But just saying weird, I go, okay, let's see what this is. Yeah, I think Speaker 3 (17:08) maybe that was like the optimum word. If it's brace yourself, you're really tense. But instead it's like, just roll with whatever's happening. Yeah. Speaker 1 (17:15) It kind of did. That whole scene on Plenty of Plenty, I love the amount of times Carl just goes, what? Yeah. Speaker 2 (17:24) Fucking what? He did it just a few times fewer than I did. Right. So they enter the show. They're Speaker 3 (17:32) greeted by a goat magistrate named Boltus or something like this. Who's he's a weird, excited dude. I like the voice going on. Great voice Speaker 2 (17:43) work. Jeff does through this whole thing. Oh, Speaker 1 (17:45) yeah. I mean, we're going to get to Speaker 3 (17:47) Gluteus here in a bit. That one's amazing. Carl notes that his interface is gone. But that his buffs still seem to be present, which allows him to still be wearing his kangaroo suit. So it seems like some things are disabled, but hey, in order to humiliate you with your kangaroo suit, we're not going to put you in a zero zone here. Speaker 3 (18:13) It's, uh, Boltus gets really excited when Donut introduces themselves and he goes, which one are you? Are you Donut or are you Carl? He just Speaker 1 (18:20) says, are you Carl? Doesn't Speaker 3 (18:23) know. So, like, this kind of frames things as extra weird to me. Like, they know of Carl and Donut, but don't know who's Carl and Donut? Well, it seems Speaker 2 (18:34) some of them do. They Speaker 1 (18:35) have face Speaker 3 (18:36) blindness? What's going on here? But others don't, Speaker 2 (18:37) because this Boltus is, I don't know, it came across as an... MC type character to me. Yeah. Speaker 1 (18:42) Very Speaker 2 (18:43) loud and demonstrative. And, uh, are Speaker 1 (18:47) you call? Speaker 2 (18:51) But yeah, which one are you? And misgendering donut. And also referring Speaker 1 (18:57) to the other as their spouse. Speaker 2 (18:58) Yeah. That was the other Speaker 3 (19:00) one. So the show's live. They find that they're surrounded by a circle of. of goats of various sizes in various garb. And it's like a council, a shadowy council around them. Occasionally a spotlight will go on one of them so you can see their face, but otherwise they're in shadow all around them. And they're all just quiet for a while until I think Donut starts saying something and the host shouts, you've been sentenced to death. And then all of them start chanting death, death, Speaker 2 (19:35) death. Yeah. It's already like, wait, what? Also, yeah, they were quiet for a while. 10 to 15 seconds. That is a long time to just sit there with somebody staring at you. Especially Speaker 3 (19:48) when you think, oh, this is a performative show for the world. No one sits that quiet. And goats have weird eyes to begin with. Right. Speaker 1 (19:58) And I really love how unfazed Carl is by this. He's like, do you want to appeal? He's like, no, not really. And Speaker 3 (20:09) then Donut's like, yes. Joss is like, what in the Jonestown is Speaker 1 (20:15) happening Speaker 3 (20:15) here? For you youngins, Jonestown was an incident where a whole bunch of cult people drank Kool-Aid that was poisoned. And they all died because they thought they were going to be carried away. Was this kind of like Hale-Bopp in a way? Like, were they carried away behind a spaceship or something? Actually, Speaker 2 (20:34) that's the legend, and it's a complete perversion of what happened. Oh. Yeah. Jim Jones put together this, you know, this commune over in Guyana for people of color saying, hey, the U.S. treats you well. We're going to have racial harmony over here. And as all cult leaders tend to do, he was having sex with the kids. And the feds found out about it. We would come raid the place. He, at gunpoint, made all his people drink the poison Kool-Aid. Speaker 1 (21:03) Yeah, he said, like, they're going to come take us down. They're going to ruin our way of life. Drink the Kool-Aid, drink the Kool-Aid. Yeah. So everybody says, drink the Kool-Aid. Like, oh, you believe in the cult and you're drinking it, you know, willingly. And it's like, no, that wasn't it at all. Well, at some point, some people did it voluntarily. But after a while, people started having to do it by force. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Speaker 3 (21:21) Fucking gross. It was real bad. It was Speaker 1 (21:23) bad. Speaker 3 (21:25) Well, they stay the death sentence and move on to judgment. And it's like they're working the judicial system in reverse here. Yeah. First death, staying that, let's go to judgment. The first question they get is, a lady asks, do