“I’m Done”: Rosie Nixon on Burnout, Motherhood and Walking Away From Her Dream Job
Happy Mum
Former HELLO! Magazine Editor-in-Chief Rosie Nixon shares her journey from a high-pressure media career to a period of profound burnout and
Key takeaways
- Rosie Nixon experienced a significant mental health breakdown in October 2022 due to an unsustainable lifestyle.
- She developed the PRO Method (Pause, Reflect, Organise) as a framework for navigating life changes and managing stress.
Main topics
- Burnout and mental health recovery
- The PRO Method framework
Notable quotes
I'm done. I just don't want to do this anymore.
Conclusion
The episode serves as an inspiring guide for anyone feeling overwhelme
Transcript preview
Speaker 2 (0:05) Hello and welcome to a brand new episode of Happy Mum. Today's guest is the incredible Rosie Nixon. Now, I first met Rosie when she was editor-in-chief of Hello! magazine, a role that she did for many, many, many years. We'd see her at, you know, different events, and she'd be on photo shoots, all things. And she was always the kindest, most warmest person to be around. It was very hard, actually, in my head, to marry her with the version of what an editor-in-chief looks like. is no Miranda. Is it Miranda? Miranda Priestly? She's not that. She's so far from that. But back in October 22, she actually had a breakdown. And that is the moment that her life completely changed. She started looking at life and what she wants from life in a very different way. I was very aware actually at the time that there seemed to be a big push for kindness in everything that Hello was pushing out, what Rosie was pushing out. She did various podcasts and stuff around the time, around the topic of kindness. And now I can absolutely see why. She's been working on something called the PRO method, which stands for Pause, Reflect and Organise. And that is something that she's going to talk to us more about because that has really helped her over the last four years and given her purpose and focus when it comes to where she wants life. land. And I think, you know, so often we get to our 40s and it's a case of we've settled this stuff up and we're on that little hamster wheel and we'll just keep going and we'll keep going and we'll keep going and we'll keep going. And I think so many of us relate with the fact that we will keep going until we have something happen that forces us to stop. This chat is with a woman who I really adore and I think it's a lesson to all of us that, you know, no matter how Busy life may be, no matter how much you might have wanted something at some point, you can always stop, reflect and question whether this is exactly what you want for your future. There is always time to change. This is Rosie Nixon. Enjoy. Speaker 2 (2:15) I know all of our books are always our babies and they mean a lot. Yeah. But I feel like this one, and we'll get on to why maybe later on, but the simple fact of the fact Speaker 1 (2:25) that it's out now and you're still doing promo for it, how does that feel? Yeah, I mean, it's definitely my most personal book. I think when you write fiction, as you all know, you're sort of hiding behind your characters a bit, so it's a different thing when you're promoting it. This definitely feels more personal, but I'm just trying to not burn out on the burnout tour because that Speaker 2 (2:47) wouldn't Speaker 1 (2:47) be a good... That's exactly the opposite of what this is about, so I'm consciously, you know, really being alive to that and having to build in pause moments so Speaker 2 (2:58) that Speaker 1 (2:58) I don't tip into that overwhelm and just enjoy it. You know, I've spent so much of my career grafting. Now I've reached a point where I really want to enjoy this because I've consciously made this decision to change things. And it is, I know it's a cliche to talk about the journey rather than the destination, but it is. This is what we've got today, tomorrow. These are just as important as to where you might think you want to be in the future. So I'm really keeping that Speaker 2 (3:29) front Speaker 1 (3:30) of mind. Speaker 2 (3:31) I always think it's a bit like a wedding day. Speaker 1 (3:33) You know, a Speaker 2 (3:34) wedding day happens so quickly. Yeah. And we put so much pressure on that day. But actually, it's all the stuff around it. It's the lead up. It's the actual marriage. You know, it's not just about that one moment that's important. No. And books especially so. Because obviously, you know, it takes a Speaker 1 (3:50) while, doesn't it, the whole process? And I wrote this book fast as well in sort of eight to ten weeks. Wow. Because it was just poured out of me. And I was doing a lot of research. Obviously, my journalistic kind of experience came into play there. I really wanted it to be based on the neuroscience of navigating change and creating sustainable kind of vitality, really. So there was a lot of research. And then I already had, obviously, my own story. And journaling was therapeutic, actually, getting it down. Yeah. It's amazing. Can we talk about your childhood? Yes, of Speaker 2 (4:27) course. Speaker 1 (4:27) Where did you grow up? So, grew up in North London. It was just a very loving, normal, I'd say, kind of upbringing. How Speaker 2 (4:37) many of you were there? Speaker 1 (4:38) Three, so I'm the oldest of three. Speaker 2 (4:40) My Speaker 1 (4:40) parents were quite values-driven, I think, in that they had a strong sense of what was decent and right, and my dad, very left-wing socialist. strong Labour Party supporter. We always had the posters in the window growing up and still is. And that ethos was really in me of a feeling of equality and democracy and that you treat everybody the same and you give people a chance. And I think that definitely came from my parents from an early age and was something I've tried to carry through in my role in the media. Speaker 2 (5:18) Being from such a close-knit family, did it make you think to the future and think, I'd quite like to be a mum one day? Definitely. Speaker 1 (5:25) I think it wasn't... Yeah, I couldn't really imagine it, but I suppose I thought it wasn't a be-all and end-all to me, if I'm honest, and actually... Meeting my husband and him proposing is a classic example of that because it took me a while to say yes. No, it didn't. Rosie! I was Speaker 2 (5:43) quite an independent 30-something. How long had you been together by that point? Well, Speaker 1 (5:47) we had only been together for a year. How fair. And it did take Speaker 2 (5:50) me by surprise. And Speaker 1 (5:52) I was just getting over being very sick the day before. So I kind of blame a number of... But, yeah, I think I probably... always thought I'd probably have children, but it wasn't, like, tangible to me, or the I must have that picture-perfect wedding and 2.4 kids kind of thing. Yeah. But, you know, I did struggle to have children later. It just took a while to happen, and now they are, oh, my God, I'm so grateful that that all happened, because it can be a lottery for some women. Yeah, Speaker 2 (6:26) yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 (6:27) But I guess perhaps one... Speaker 2 (6:30) big factor in that as well is that career wise by that point you were editor of hello and that must take so much out of you and and time wise it must feel like your your head is in so many different places and that actually the weeks and the months just kind of fly by I would imagine yeah Speaker 1 (6:50) well that role hello I was in for a very long time almost 16 years and during that period, obviously we evolve. I met my husband while I was at Hello. Yeah. And I'd been sort of dating and making mistakes and, you know, had some good relationships previous to that. And then when I met Cal, he was quite like, he'd lost both his parents, sadly, through illness and they were quite a bit older. Speaker 1 (7:20) just a couple of years before we met, and I think he was ready. He's always said, I wanted to get you down the checkout. I was just ready for kids. Perhaps he could see what I couldn't yet see or wasn't ready to kind of commit to, perhaps. And I was on a trajectory, you know, to be editor-in-chief, and that's what I really wanted. Speaker 2 (7:39) And Speaker 1 (7:40) perhaps in the back of my mind was that feeling that if I stop all that, will that happen? Mm Speaker 2 (7:46) -hm. Speaker 1 (7:47) But then I hadn't met the right person, I don't think, until I met Cal either. So I wasn't really thinking I was putting it off. Yeah. But I think then obviously when you decide you do want children and then that doesn't happen straight away, you suddenly think, oh, God, so what is actually going on here? Do I even fully understand? It had been two years without getting pregnant. I had all the tests and everything seems fine. So I remember them saying, oh, it looks like unexplained infertility, which is a terrible thing to tell a woman because there must be some explanation, but there is. And then I had some further tests and we discovered a polyp on the lining of the womb that was stopping implantation. And it was so quick to get that removed through a keyhole surgery, like literally in and out. And then the doctor that did that said, I've just got a feeling you're going to get pregnant really quickly now. There's absolutely no reason why you're not. And I got pregnant the next month. No! Yeah. So that polyp could have been stopping implantation for all of that time. Speaker 2 (8:50) But in that, if it had changed, any part of, you know, how things worked Speaker 1 (8:54) had changed, then you wouldn't have Heath. No. I mean, isn't that how Speaker 2 (8:57) I find that? I know. Speaker 1 (8:58) And if I hadn't just really persevered with actually, I feel like I need to get to the bottom of this. I am going to have that extra scan because it hadn't been caught up on a first scan. Yeah. You know, you have to keep going and going, but that's obviously really tough. And then we were considering, well, would we look at IVF or whatever? And I don't know, and perhaps there was a mindset shift as well after having that polyp removed, just thinking I really believed it was going to happen, and it sort of did. Did you have any symptoms? It feels like a miracle. Speaker 2 (9:29) Did you have any symptoms before you tested? No, absolutely none. Really? Yeah. I think I did have a feeling that it was just going to happen. Speaker 1 (9:37) But then I had had that feeling in other months. I remember that disappointment of doing the test and thinking, or being a bit late, because sometimes my periods could be irregular. I always used to Speaker 2 (9:47) get really caught up on, oh my gosh, it's Valentine's Day. It's absolutely going to happen today. Oh my God, it's my birthday. Oh my God, it's my anniversary. Oh my God, it's Christmas. It's definitely going Speaker 1 (9:56) to happen. And Speaker 2 (9:56) this will be my story. Speaker 1 (9:57) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we romanticise, you Speaker 2 (9:59) know. We've seen so many different things in films and books. So it becomes like, it's going to happen now. It's got to happen now. Speaker 1 (10:06) And it is, it's Speaker 2 (10:06) that Speaker 1 (10:06) heartache. Oh, God, it is. And I remember we went to Australia, to Sydney, to sort of visit a friend, and I really thought I could be pregnant. I remember you on the plane over going, oh, I'll just have like a few sips of champagne. And I just really felt like I was. Yeah. Because that feeling of being premenstrual as well was often very similar to feeling pregnant, wasn't it? And I just was convinced. And my period was late. I think on the way over, which again made me think. And I got a test over there and I just remember being so crushed and it was negative and I was like... it must be wrong, but then just thinking, oh, it's not again. And then you're like, why isn't this happening? Because it's such a life-changing moment. Speaker 2 (10:47) Well, and I think being at Hello for so long, you've taken pictures of so many people with their babies, you know, and doing that whole thing. And so, you know, even more so, I think, than just feeling like everyone around you is getting pregnant. Like, you're in that world so often. And it would be you turning up because you're the trusted face and you just exude kindness. You're the one that you want there. You know, and so to be seeing that all the time and it not happening to you, I just think that's... Well, it does Speaker 1 (11:16) how our brains sort of, you know, start to hone in on everything, don't they, when it's something you really want. How Speaker 2 (11:24) did it feel when you did take a test and it was Speaker 1 (11:26) positive? Well, Speaker 2 (11:27) I Speaker 1 (11:27) remember Cal was away. He worked in the film industry and he was away on a shoot. And I just couldn't wait. He was back like at the weekend and it was like Tuesday or something. And I was like, I just can't wait. And I think, you know, I was late again a few days and I just had a feeling because I was like, there's no reason why not. I kept remembering the doctor saying that there's no reason why you wouldn't get pregnant straight away. And I just thought I'm going to do it. So I did the test and then just sent him a picture of it. And yeah. I was just over the moon. Then I was lucky I did get pregnant again fairly soon, yeah, nine months. The heath was nine months when I was pregnant. Speaker 2 (12:07) I mean, talk me through that. Like, I know it's one thing thinking this is a great idea, but it's another thing I think when it comes up positive. Yeah. Like your actual thoughts Speaker 1 (12:15) become a reality. Well, if I'm totally honest, the first six months of Rex's life are slightly a blur. Because Heath was very late walking. Right. He only started walking at like 16 months. Oh, wow. Speaker 2 (12:29) And Speaker 1 (12:29) there's sort of 18 and a half months between the two of them. So I remember he was only just mobile. And I think I was probably too, yeah, picking him up the whole time. And he was like, why would I learn to walk? Speaker 1 (12:43) And then Rex came along and I opted actually for a planned C-section with Rex because I Speaker 2 (12:48) had a Speaker 1 (12:48) very difficult birth with Heath, which ended up in an emergency C-section. So I thought I wanted a bit of control over what was going to happen the second time. Knowing it was another boy, I found out the sex with Rex. I thought, I'm going to have another big boy. Heath was a big boy, nine pounds, ten. So that had to come out the sunroof. Speaker 1 (13:10) Two weeks late he was. He was so fully cooked. So thank goodness for our amazing NHS, because I'm sure we would have probably both died in childbirth had this been another time. So planned things with right. So the birth felt a lot calmer. But just that moment when you get home and it was like, oh, my God, I've