Giggling about Paige’s dog, doing dishes, and interventions

Giggly Squad - Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo

Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo dive into chaotic yet hilarious personal stories, including Paige's intense dynamic with Joe's dog, her over

Key takeaways

• Introducing a new pet requires patience, research, and emotional investment—Paige spent months carefully acclimating her cat to the dog.

Main topics

• Integrating a new pet into an existing household
• The emotional complexity of adopting or living with someone else's pet

Notable quotes

"I could fucking do this. I rearranged the entire room." – Paige, describing her spontaneous home renovation.

"This dog is up my asshole." – On her initial feelings toward Joe's pet.

Conclusion

The episode ends on a note of self-compassion and connection, remindin

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:02) Sup, gigglers. Speaker 2 (0:03) Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Speaker 1 (0:05) Manifest that shit. Speaker 2 (0:06) We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Speaker 1 (0:16) Hello, my gregarious gigglers. I've said that one. Speaker 2 (0:20) Yeah. Sometimes I say things out loud and I think, am I a doomsday prepper? No. Because that just actually worried me. That actually just made me really nervous. Before Speaker 1 (0:29) the pod. We need a before the pod pod. Speaker 2 (0:32) No. Because I can't review it every time. I think it's just Grace doing a solo pod and it's before the pod. And she's like, this is what they said before we hit record. And it was scary. Speaker 1 (0:45) Paige was like, can I record this zoom? I said like one bar. And I'm like, no, no. So she's like, okay. I was like, do you have double A batteries? Cause I know myself. I don't just have double A batteries lying around. She goes, I do. And she like pulls out some pink batteries. I'm just kidding. But you, you have, you pull out, what is it called? Your drill. Your drill. You have a pink drill. You have batteries. You love. putting things together i've Speaker 2 (1:11) emasculated so many men just based on my battery collection why do you have so many batteries i haven't met a man that has a toolbox compared to mine in years how proud is gary my dad oh he Speaker 1 (1:27) loves it he Speaker 2 (1:28) loves when i like okay the other day I'm at Joe's house and I'm like, I hate this room. Like I just, I hate this room. I can't look at it anymore. Like it's so, it's just so boyish and like bland and whatever. I'm like, you have no color. You Speaker 1 (1:45) have Speaker 2 (1:45) no life. And so I was like, I'm rearranging the couch. And he was like, totally like do whatever you want. I will help you do anything. And I'm like, okay, cool. So like five minutes later, he's like, I have to take a quick phone call. I'm going to go upstairs. He goes upstairs. I'm like, I could fucking do this. I rearranged the entire room. I threw out everything from his bookshelves. I ordered like art. I ordered chairs. I ordered a rug. I'm just like, if I want something done, I'm doing it. Very Speaker 1 (2:16) lesbian coded of you. The fact that you were able to take out your drill, rearrange your whole room like that. They get shit done. And the lesbian allegations continue today. He Speaker 2 (2:24) came down from his call. He goes, well. He goes, you moved this by yourself? I go, in 10 minutes. In 10 minutes. I found three of Kitty's toys under here, and she is happy. By Speaker 1 (2:36) the way, Paige is tiny. Like, if you meet her in person, you're like, oh my god, she's, like, she's lifting a sectional five-seater. Speaker 2 (2:44) I'll drag anything. You give me your arch nemesis, I'll fucking drag her, bitch. That and a cloud couch. Speaker 2 (2:56) So I Speaker 1 (2:57) know our cloud couch is worth it. Speaker 2 (2:59) Wait, can we bring something up? Because I found Speaker 1 (3:02) myself on a Reddit thread. Speaker 2 (3:05) I think they are the most vile couch to ever exist. And here's the other thing. Joe has a dog. And let's just take a moment of silence for that. Wait, Speaker 1 (3:15) wait, wait. Are we announcing it to the pod? That Joe's a dog? Yeah. I Speaker 2 (3:20) mean, I guess. It's just like Speaker 1 (3:21) something I've been living with silently. No, she's been suffering in silence. Speaker 2 (3:26) This dog is up my asshole. Okay. The Speaker 1 (3:30) dog loves Paige. The dog sees Paige and the dog goes, that's my mother. And Paige is like, we're not blood related. We have no relation. I don't know you. Speaker 2 (3:40) I wasn't there the day you got taken home. I like I have no connection to you. Speaker 1 (3:45) We were adding a character to the Giggly universe right now. Do you want to introduce his name? We can't just call him the dog or Speaker 2 (3:52) we can. No, he is the dog. I'm also his name. I'm like, Speaker 1 (3:58) when I met him, Speaker 2 (4:00) I go, really? That's what they named you. Speaker 1 (4:05) So that was the biggest issue we've been dealing with. Well, the Speaker 2 (4:09) biggest issue is really when I had to tell Kitty about it. And she was like, what? Speaker 1 (4:16) She was. And in true. Here's the thing. You Speaker 2 (4:21) never get a preview of like what your children could be like. And that is like scary and sad to me. Like I wish you could get like a 30 second teaser once they tell you you're pregnant. They're like, and this is what your child would be like. I feel like I do have a small snippet into the future watching Daphne because the way she's made this dog her absolute bitch is... like she does things and i'm proud i'm proud she bullies him and i'm like stand your ground i Speaker 1 (4:49) came in very like if they're gonna meet like we have to get safety protocols like we have to protect daphne at all costs she literally has like brand deals on the way and like then it becomes like a monetary thing and someone's gonna get sued like i don't we need insurance there was a period of time where you couldn't talk about it you were like i know i was like very Speaker 2 (5:09) nervous And no. And let me tell you, I did research so much research. I really actually probably played it too slow, like to the point where the pets were like, oh, we know the other ones there. Also, Speaker 1 (5:25) mind you, before I met this dog, I thought it was a Rottweiler. Like I was like. It's a 150-pound Rottweiler. I'm so scared. How are we going to even, like, have them ever in the same room? It's a 35 Speaker 2 (5:37) -pound scaredy cat. Like, it's literally the biggest baby. Kitty, like, literally licks her paw, and he runs to the corner. No, Kitty, Speaker 1 (5:47) when he walks by, like, fakes, like, she's going to, like, come for him, and he starts, like, being like, oh, oh, oh. She fakes him out and then slaps him across the face and walks away. She's like, what's that? She throws a ball. He turns around. She goes, I didn't even throw a ball, you dummy. Speaker 2 (6:01) Yeah. He's like, that's my girl. Anyway, what were we even talking about that I. Speaker 1 (6:06) You just like out of nowhere was like, there's a dog in my life. Speaker 2 (6:10) That's why I like when the pods in the morning because I'm so raw. I'm so real. I know you're so vulnerable. I'm so vulnerable. I'm like, I've been living in a hellscape. This dog. Speaker 2 (6:21) wait can i tell them how i almost accidentally killed Speaker 1 (6:25) the dog yeah Speaker 2 (6:26) peter take a break from this because then i have a story where i accidentally almost like had the dog run away Speaker 1 (6:34) No, so Paige was joking. She's like, I love this guy, but I don't know if I could be in a relationship with someone who has a dog. Speaker 2 (6:41) No, this is a serious conversation that I thought Speaker 1 (6:45) about. I was like, I can't. And then I was like, do we give him an ultimatum? Are we like, it's me or the dog? There was a moment where I'm like, I'm not a monster. No, but also this isn't just a dog to this man. This dog is his son. This dog is his... He loves this dog. More than anything. This morning he said to me, last Speaker 2 (7:05) night you were really mean to the dog. Do you want to apologize? I said, I'm not Speaker 1 (7:10) apologizing to a dog. What did you do? Were you like, Cash, get out of the room? I said, get off the bed. See, that's also the problem. Kitty's a lot on the bed because she smells like pancakes. I don't know where that dog's been. That dog's been outside. Kitty's poop and pee Speaker 2 (7:27) pee. paws allowed on my face it's microdermabrasion okay a dog that's out in the wild i don't know where that dog's been Speaker 1 (7:35) okay we finally have like an event where we're celebrating like the dog and the cat have met yeah Speaker 2 (7:43) what are we doing oh we're in we're at easter it was easter so Speaker 1 (7:47) this is at the end of the day i love animals because i'm not a fucking monster of Speaker 2 (7:52) course of course so Speaker 1 (7:54) i go all the way to this pet store and I'm like what are dogs like like they're boys I'm like I'll get him a food something I don't know yeah they have all these like doggy treats of course there's like no cute cat treats it's all for dogs but like whatever that's the patriarchy so I get this like you guys I got a cannoli for a dog like they make dog like that was the cutest gift ever I was so excited so I'm outside with the dog you Speaker 2 (8:19) were meeting an Italian dog you said let me into Speaker 1 (8:22) your culture I was like okay if we're gonna be family members like this is how i'm gonna connect with you so i'm outside with the dog and i'm like giving it the cannoli Speaker 1 (8:35) And the dog, like, puts the whole thing in its mouth and starts choking. Speaker 2 (8:42) And then, Speaker 1 (8:43) like, the dog starts, like, being like, and then I'm like, oh, no, I can't kill the fucking dog on Easter. So then I'm, like, I'm doing whatever. And then the dog's literally fine. And then the dog eats all the cannoli. But, like, for a second there, I was like, Paige, things were about to be, I was about to take care of everything for you. Speaker 2 (9:01) And then the rest of the day, I got blamed for hiring a hitman to come to my Easter dinner and kill a member of my family. Speaker 1 (9:12) Also, I do have to say, Des loves this dog. Everyone Speaker 2 (9:17) that meets this dog loves this dog. Loves the Speaker 1 (9:19) dog. So it's been complicated to say the least, but I also think it's been a lesson of acceptance. And that we should love tolerance, other people and other things. I Speaker 2 (9:34) didn't pick this dog. Like, yeah, I didn't pick this dog. I have no I have no mother connection to this dog. Like, oh, my God, it was there the day you were born. Like I do with Kitty. Speaker 1 (9:44) But just because you didn't birth it doesn't mean in Speaker 2 (9:48) all seriousness, like very cute dog, very well behaved dog. That's like what I care. the most about and like obsessed with kitty and so nice to kitty yeah it did so much research on introducing kitty and this dog like specific breeds i called a psychic this is the right move Speaker 1 (10:07) yeah we got the whole team on board you Speaker 2 (10:09) have to do so much it i actually did it over the course of like oh my god probably like nine months which like you can do it shorter of course but i was just so scared you Speaker 1 (10:21) can't rush it Speaker 2 (10:22) The first thing I did was like take two items of each of theirs and like swap it so they could smell it. And then like I would only hold her and he could like see that she was there. Then I like introduced them through like a screen. Speaker 1 (10:35) It was a slow process. But when I tell you, you guys, they sleep together now. Speaker 2 (10:41) No, now they're like. Obsessed with each other. But there are Speaker 1 (10:44) dogs out there that just don't fuck with cats. That like, it doesn't matter how much scent swapping you do, they're going to eat your cat. Do not dabble. I Speaker 2 (10:53) think this is like a very specific situation with this dog's specific personality. Yeah. I just got really lucky. It Speaker 1 (11:01) also is giving like the universe was like, okay, we'll make this, we'll make this blended family work. Speaker 2 (11:09) But. It's so girls versus boys, let me just tell you. And me and Kitty are trying to hold it down, but the patriarchy is strong. Okay, because we're used to quiet. We're used to soft sounds in the morning. We've never played ball, you know? Like, we don't... Speaker 1 (11:25) Kitty learned what a dirty tennis ball was. Speaker 2 (11:28) Yeah, Kitty was like, no. Speaker 1 (11:32) But my dream is to have a dog and a cat that become friends. That's my algorithm. Yeah. Seeing them together. And it seems very Romeo and Juliet. Like nobody wanted to see us together, but it didn't matter. Yeah. Because I got you, babe. Akon. Speaker 2 (11:47) Like sometimes I'm like, you guys are giving Kim and Kanye in the best way. Speaker 1 (11:52) No, like it's at a point where I'm like, I think she's flirting with him. Speaker 2 (11:56) Yeah. Like the one, like the first time ever. And this is like a few months ago that Kitty like laid fully on her back in front of the dog. I was like, Kitty, stop. Stop her up. Stop. Speaker 1 (12:07) Let's have some self-respect in this household. Yeah, let's have some decency here. Speaking of cats, wait, I have an announcement. I'm doing an event. Speaker 2 (12:17) Oh, Speaker 1 (12:18) honey, you're hosting Speaker 2 (12:19) an event? I'm hosting an event, which you know I never do. No, that's so adult of you. This morning you were like, let me get a coffee and then we can chat. And I was like, in my head, I was like, that's so adult. Now you're hosting a goddamn event. Speaker 1 (12:32) Well, look, I'm in the Hamptons. And this is what you do. You get into society. You're Speaker 2 (12:37) literally Speaker 1 (12:37) in Luann right now. I know. I was like, darling, I have to do some philanthropy this summer. You Speaker 2 (12:43) got like a prop cigarette. Speaker 1 (12:46) I have a fedora. Don't worry, Speaker 2 (12:47) it's not real. Speaker 1 (12:48) So, okay, this Friday, August 21st. So my bestie in town owns the Pilates studio. That was convenient for me to be like, I'm becoming friends with you because you're badass and cool. Sound Body Hampton, shout out. It's actually the hardest place to get into in West Hampton. I can't even get a reservation at this point. So she had to expand and she got this whole huge back area that she's like, I want to throw an event. Mind you, you know I'm in with South Hampton Animal Shelter every day. Kiki. Checking cats that I want to adopt. And kitten season is now. Like, for some reason, I guess, I don't know what it is, but. Sorry. Hashtag kitten season, hot girl summer. I've never. Speaker 2 (13:31) You've never heard of kitten season? I've never heard those words together in a sentence. It's kitten season. Speaker 1 (13:36) I don't know if it's, like, the weather or something, but, like, all the cats are having babies right now. So there's kittens everywhere. And, like, we need to get them adopted. Wait, this is a stupid question. Yeah. Speaker 2 (13:48) Cat's pregnant for nine months. Are dogs pregnant for nine months? Wait, that's Speaker 1 (13:52) such a good question. No, there's no way. That's such a good question. Hey, Speaker 2 (13:58) Siri, how long are cats pregnant for? 64 days. Now, if I could... Dude, they're living the goddamn life. If I could be pregnant for 64 days, I would have had four. I would be Speaker 1 (14:14) Ballerina Farm's worst nightmare. Are you kidding? Wait, how long have you been awake? Because you are awake right now. I just woke up. Speaker 2 (14:25) Here's the thing. I didn't really sleep well last night. So I'm delusional. I've been up. You're on a bender. You're Speaker 1 (14:32) on a bender right now. You are cracking me the fuck up right now. No, I've organized four drawers. I'm like, is this a dream? Am I dreaming right now? Wait, imagine the cat's like, I'm 36 days. Speaker 2 (14:48) No, Speaker 1 (14:48) that's Speaker 2 (14:49) so cheap. I'm Speaker 1 (14:50) 36 days. Oh, my God. Well, that's why there's so many. kittens. No, nine months is like... Come on. Well, so as you guys know, when I retire, I'm always wanting to like open my own cat cafe or like a cat sanctuary or like something that it. So I'm like this Friday from 12 to 2 in West Hampton. I'm doing Hannah's Cat Cafe where we're bringing a ton of adoptable kittens to this place and we're getting like coffee and treats. And like there's like a jewelry person. And like I think we're trying to get like an aura reader, like what we're trying to just make it fun. But if you're by West Hampton. You have to get Speaker 2 (15:29) a pet psychic. Speaker 1 (15:30) We have. Oh, my God. I mean, hello. I think I also might do a painting and like auction it off for the shelter. Speaker 2 (15:38) I don't know. Wait. Okay. Speaker 1 (15:41) So last year, remember Des? You're going to paint it? Well, do you remember Des got me like painting supplies for my birthday? And then remember how good you were in New Orleans? And