I Was Shot Twice During a Meth Robbery, Survived Fentanyl & Lived in Bando’s for Years. | Ep 218

Get a Grip Podcast

James Polley shares his harrowing journey from a traumatic childhood and severe drug addiction to finding professional purpose in recovery.

Key takeaways

James was shot twice, once in the arm and once in the side, by a .22 caliber weapon during a meth-related robbery.
He experienced extreme addiction to meth, cocaine, and fentanyl, including an overdose at the Hollywood Casino.

Main topics

Childhood trauma and family dynamics
Methamphetamine and cocaine addiction

Notable quotes

I was like, 'So what? I'm gay. Like, what's the problem?'

Conclusion

A powerful testament to human resilience and the transformative power

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) So I grabbed my stuff and I sneaked down the stairs. And then he ended up like the guy that came in and asked for my bag. He ended up seeing me somehow. So I'm trying to get out the front door. He's trying to dip Speaker 3 (0:13) out. Speaker 1 (0:13) Yeah, I'm trying to dip out. I get to the front door. I get down to the stair, like the front porch steps. I get down the steps. I turn around and they're right there. And he's right there. He's standing there with the gun. He's like, give me your shit. And I'm like, no. What? I have nothing to do with that. He's like, give me your shit. I'm like, no. He shoots me two times. Get out Speaker 3 (0:32) of here. Speaker 1 (0:33) I got shot in my arm. How Speaker 3 (0:35) did I not know that? Speaker 1 (0:36) Yeah. You Speaker 3 (0:36) got shot in the arm. I got Speaker 1 (0:37) shot in my arm. One went through my arm and then the other one went through my side. Speaker 3 (0:40) Jeez, man. Is this point blank? Are we talking? Yeah. Pretty much. What's that feel Speaker 1 (0:44) like? Yeah. Speaker 3 (0:46) What's that feel like? Thank Speaker 2 (0:47) God it was a .22. Speaker 1 (0:48) Thank God it was a .22. But then again. When the ambulance got there, he ended up pressing on my chest and he found the bullet because it was traveling. Speaker 3 (1:10) Hey, Lou, I've got a story I want to share on the podcast. How do I do that? Speaker 2 (1:13) Well, you can email us at getagrippodcast614 at gmail.com or fill out the form, fill in our link tree. Speaker 3 (1:18) What about if I just want to show our boys some love and support the podcast? Speaker 2 (1:21) You can follow us at official getagrippodcast on TikTok, Instagram, or Facebook to follow our short clips or YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts for our long forms. We're also on iHeartRadio. We're everywhere. What about Speaker 3 (1:32) a behind the scenes look at getagrippodcast? Speaker 2 (1:34) Snapchat's the place for that. I heard all the kids are doing it. Smash that like button and subscribe. Boop. Speaker 3 (1:39) And we're back with another episode of Get a Grip Podcast. We are. I'm Aaron. This is Louis. Louis, good to see you. Welcome back. You know I like to touch you. Welcome back. Thank you. Just got back from vacay. We are sitting here with James Polly. Sorry. Sorry, I call you Jay. Jay Polly. Speaker 1 (1:57) I go by Jay. Jay, okay. Speaker 3 (1:59) Hey, Jay. Speaker 1 (2:00) How you guys doing? Speaker 3 (2:01) Thank you so much for coming on. It's good to meet you. Speaker 1 (2:04) I'm glad to be here. Yeah. Speaker 3 (2:06) It's actually weird because like... You're a work client at the place that we work at, right? Mm Speaker 1 (2:13) -hmm. Did Speaker 3 (2:13) what you're supposed to do, and now you work at this treatment center. Speaker 1 (2:17) Yeah. It's Speaker 3 (2:18) weird how that works, isn't it? Speaker 1 (2:19) Yeah. Got Speaker 3 (2:20) a job. Fucked around and got a job. Speaker 1 (2:22) Fucked around and got a job. Speaker 3 (2:23) And I've had you in my group before, and I was telling you before, I don't know shit about you, really. I spent many hours with you. Speaker 1 (2:30) Yeah, many. I don't know Speaker 3 (2:31) anything about you, really. Speaker 1 (2:32) spent many weeks together too so that's weird let's uh Speaker 3 (2:34) let's talk about that Speaker 2 (2:35) maybe pay attention oh yeah man Speaker 1 (2:38) probably so that's Speaker 3 (2:41) fair that checks out i have a terrible memory anyway uh i want to get to know jay um so let's talk about your life how you got to where you are now um but let's start from childhood man what was childhood like for you Speaker 1 (2:53) childhood for me um Speaker 1 (2:57) I was the first kid for two years. And then my mom had two other kids with another guy. You had a good run. Yeah. I had two years strong. Yeah. It was just my mom and us three boys. Speaker 1 (3:14) I didn't know who my father was. I knew of him, but I didn't know who he was, if that makes sense. You never met him? No, I never met him. Oh. And the guy that was my brother's father, I thought that he was someone that was going to step in and actually take the place of a father figure for me. But it didn't happen that way. It did not work out that way. Why did your Speaker 3 (3:36) dad leave? Speaker 1 (3:38) Well, I don't know the whole dynamic of the situation when it comes to... My mom and my dad. Speaker 3 (3:44) I Speaker 1 (3:45) think they had, I don't know. I really don't know. Okay. And I didn't, like, dive into it with her. Okay. I feel like it honestly was a soft spot for her in a way. So it kind of was just like, whatever. So you thinking like, okay, whatever. That's out of the play. Yeah. Now there's a new guy here. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he will, but no. Speaker 3 (4:07) No, he didn't either. No. Damn. Speaker 1 (4:08) No, he didn't. Which is okay, though. I mean. I'm here. Speaker 3 (4:13) Yeah. I mean, did he, did he, uh, was he around? Speaker 1 (4:16) He was around a lot, but my mom had went through. domestic violence situations. So that wasn't really a good. And at a young kid, seeing that was already enough. Speaker 3 (4:29) Are they beating on each other? Is it him, her? Speaker 1 (4:31) Him, her. Speaker 3 (4:31) Ah, damn, that sucks. Is he an alcoholic or something or is he just an angry guy? Speaker 1 (4:35) He suffered from addiction too. Okay. Yeah. Speaker 3 (4:39) Jeez, man. Speaker 1 (4:40) Yeah. So Speaker 3 (4:41) no male figure in your life? Speaker 1 (4:43) My grandfather. Okay. Which was my mom's dad, which was, it was my mom, my grandmother. My mom, my grandmother, my dad, my grandpa, and her sister. It was just them four. Yeah, so just two kids and a mom and a dad. Speaker 3 (4:59) Did a stepdad ever beat on you? Speaker 1 (5:02) He had times where I feel like me, this is me as a child saying like there was times when he was probably angry about something and maybe took it out on me. Yeah. You know, so and it was times like, believe it or not, that he would he would like verbally say like, you're not my kid, you know. So Speaker 3 (5:20) that's the worst thing. Yeah. I hate my stepkids a lot of the time and I've never said that to I don't hate them. You know, they get on my nerves. I Speaker 1 (5:28) remember a time when I was like young and. Speaker 1 (5:32) The family his family which they all welcomed me and everybody except him They were having a conversation one time and I was young and I was a young nosy kid anyway, so I Was walking past the door and I heard him telling them like I don't know. He's not my kid I have these kids, but he's not my son. You know? So, yeah. That's pretty brutal words, man. Yeah. Speaker 3 (5:55) Jeez. What's school like for you? Speaker 1 (5:58) School. I mean, okay, so in elementary school and middle school, I was like a quiet, timid guy. Speaker 3 (6:04) Okay. Speaker 1 (6:04) Yeah. I already had my own things going through my head when I was young, you know? And I got bullied a couple times. Speaker 1 (6:13) And then, I don't know, like, I feel like seventh or eighth grade, I started to come into who I really was, which wasn't probably accepted in our society, you know? Speaker 3 (6:23) What does that mean? Like me Speaker 1 (6:25) being gay. Okay. You know what I'm saying? You know what's weird, Speaker 3 (6:28) though? I was like, I didn't know. I mean, I knew, but I didn't know. You know what I mean? I just thought you were just... sassy i'll take that and you never like openly said it so i never just asked but uh yeah because Speaker 1 (6:42) i'm not like you i don't know you're Speaker 3 (6:44) not you're not a feminine type you're just you're funny as shit yeah Speaker 1 (6:48) i'm not yeah i get off more as the funny part than the sassy i mean i got a little sassiness in there but Speaker 3 (6:54) maybe i'm excusing like mistaking like blackness for sassiness you know like you're just like uh you're you're a smart dude and you have like you can communicate very well. Yeah. I learned that along the Speaker 1 (7:04) way. Speaker 3 (7:05) How do you discover that? Is that a lifelong thing when you find out like, oh, I like... Speaker 1 (7:09) Well, I mean, I had an era where I was dating girls and I was like, eh, it's not real. Not for me. And I think it's because mostly like a lot of the girls that I dated were dominant girls. Okay. And it kind of like threw me off, you know, because dominancy was a confusion for me, you know, coming from the era where, don't know my dad. My grandfather's the most person, the best figure I can look at. Yeah, Speaker 3 (7:35) yeah. Speaker 1 (7:35) And then the stepdad is not. No, he ain't claiming anything. No, he don't want you. I already got enough going on. I don't want you. So, I don't know. It was just like, and then I started like. being more attractive to guys. Okay. You know, and I think like in high school, it was like my first time interacting with another guy. Speaker 3 (7:58) Do you come out immediately? Speaker 1 (7:59) I did actually. So I came out in, but being the fact that my grandpa was a Bishop. Oh God. Church. Yeah. So my grandma was the first lady and they all on my side were all. They all grew up. No Speaker 3 (8:12) wonder you did drugs. Speaker 1 (8:13) Yeah. That makes sense now. So when me, the oddball, I think I made myself the black sheep. You know how people always say they like, I'm the black sheep of the family, but it's like, you have to make like, like self-imposed. Yeah. Like you self-inflicted on yourself. Yeah. So I think I became, I made myself cause I started to act out because I didn't, I didn't think that it got accepted the way that I wanted to get accepted. So what'd Speaker 3 (8:37) it look like? How did you like, how'd you do it? Did you do a grand like ceremony or you're just like, Hey, grandpa. Speaker 1 (8:42) No, it was like, I had a lash out moment one time and I was like, So what? I'm gay. Like, what's the problem? And they're like, let's just pray, you know? We'll Speaker 3 (8:52) pray the gay away. We'll pray the gay away. Maybe we can pray it Speaker 1 (8:55) away. So I wrote my mom a letter. And me and my mom, like, we were always having differences because I was just always, I didn't need more attention. I was an attention seeker. Yeah, yeah. So I wrote my mom a letter one time and I ran away. Speaker 3 (9:09) How old are you when you do that? I Speaker 1 (9:11) was like 16, I think. And I had already had situations going on at school where I had truancy charges. I was running away. I had got to put on an ankle monitor. Speaker 3 (9:21) Damn, bud. For just not going to school? Speaker 1 (9:23) I was going to school, but I was skipping class to go smoke weed and hang out because I thought that was a cool thing. You want to hang out with the cool kids, you know? Why not? I wrote her a letter and I ran away. What's the Speaker 3 (9:37) letter say? Speaker 1 (9:38) The letter was like... Speaker 3 (9:39) Dear mom. Speaker 1 (9:40) Yeah, it was kind of like a dear mom situation where I was like, I just want you to know that I'm gay and you probably don't care, but love you anyways, blah, blah, blah. And I stick it under her door because she always kept her door locked. Okay. I kept it under the door and I learned the way. I ran away for a couple of days with my friends because over time I had made friends that... At that time when I needed people to go run away to or hang out with they were there so okay It was like a group of us and I was always seeking validation or approval or acceptance from people like I was always people-pleasing yep, I care more about other people's like Success and all that more than I cared about myself Which a lot of journey was like your mom my mom was I was like you just quit hanging out with people you need to quit Caring about people you need to keep helping people help yourself and I was like I am helping myself. I'm helping them. Yeah. Yeah, what's the problem? So Yeah on that yeah, so I ran away and she couldn't get a hold of me or find me or anything and then I Had came back home thinking everything was okay, and I had a truancy charge again and Speaker 1 (10:47) She called the police and like, he's here. Damn, Speaker 3 (10:51) mom. Speaker 1 (10:52) So I jumped out of the window. Of your house. And ran away. Yeah, I got away that time. And then the second time I came back home and I was comfortable. And I tried to jump out the window again because they came. They came on their own this time because they were coming to see. Because, you know, around that time, like the school would tell on you. Speaker 3 (11:12) For not showing up. You're not for school. Speaker 1 (11:14) And so you would get in trouble. They came again, but they ran around to that back window. Oh, they Speaker 3 (11:19) was Speaker 1 (11:19) waiting. They Speaker 3 (11:19) was going to catch you. Speaker 1 (11:21) They got me that time. Damn, buddy. Yeah, they got me. So I ended up getting house arrest at the end on that. And then my junior year of high school, what was it, junior? No, sophomore year of high school, I ended up getting into a fight with some people that I was hanging with. We got into it with somebody else, and we ended up getting expelled to the next year. Yeah, that's Speaker 3 (11:42) some fight buddy. Yeah, Speaker 1 (11:43) usually Speaker 3 (11:43) it's like a three-day suspension. Yeah Yeah, Speaker 1 (11:46) no, they expelled me to the next year. Mm Speaker 3 (11:48) -hmm And then so now what is your part your parents like what the fuck is what are you doing with your life? Speaker 1 (11:55) Like my mom she like god bless herself She always is still trying to like figure things out like what's wrong? Yeah, and my thing was you guys don't care cuz I'm gay and you know But it was way deeper than that. Yeah. Like, but I didn't see that as a kid. Whatever. You guys are mad at me. You guys don't like me. Whatever. So I was just like, always. I don't know. I was just always running away. Yeah. From everything. Yeah. At that point, you know, like, so I ended up meeting a group of friends. I'm still close with some of them, but in the beginning, we all were tight. We ended up getting into fights with different people because, you know, like the slant, the different slander to like towards gays. Okay. We're all gay guys. So we all like, we all stuck together. We would get out there and be fighting. We're going to jail and we all had different things to contribute. But I feel like. I didn't have as much to contribute to the friendships as they did. And I also felt like it started to become like a competitive and a transactional friendship with some of them. So like down through the years, like I could run away and talk, run away to their house or whatever, but they were running away too. Like we were all doing things a lot. And so as we got older, like some of us started to like fall out because things weren't. What we thought they were you know like I'm still friends with like a couple of them we lost a couple of them through the years too, but Things are like everything you thought though as a kid you thought that was important to have as a friend or with a friend It's not as important as you Speaker 2 (13:25) can Speaker 1 (13:25) when you start to get older. Yeah, but the realize that these aren't really my friend Yeah, what am Speaker 3 (13:29) I Speaker 1 (13:29) doing? What are we? All these years like name people like we've been friends since kids we've been through everything, but it's like have you been through everything? Yeah, yeah, so I don't know. After that, like, mind you, I started smoking weed around 16, maybe drinking every now and then. And then as that process started going through, I started to, like, get involved with, like, pills and cocaine. What Speaker 3 (13:53) kind of pills are we talking? Speaker 1 (13:54) Like, ecstasy pills. Okay. You know, I was doing that for a while. Like, it was like an every now and then thing. Speaker 3 (14:01) How are you affording this? Do you have a job or anything? Speaker 1 (14:03) Yeah, I was working, actually. Yeah, I was, eventually I started to get, like, figure things out, still with a lot of different things going on, but I started to, like, figure it out, you know. I was bumping heads a lot of times with my mom or with my siblings or my grandparents because they wanted me to be this way, but I wanted to do something else. Yeah. And I was, like, also sheltered a lot from a lot of things. So when I actually got out into the world, Like in high school, I started to see different things and wanted to be a part of those things. Like, dude, they get to do that. Why not? Their mom makes them go. Like what? Speaker 2 (14:39) Peaks your interest. Yeah. Speaker 1 (14:40) Yeah. You like, you want to be a part of things that you think are good. Yep. So as that time, like, I mean, like, I think, yeah, like I was still like in and out of my mom's house around that time. Um, what? Speaker 3 (14:57) Do you graduate high school? Speaker 1 (14:59) I graduated high school, but I didn't graduate from that high school. Speaker 3 (15:01) Okay. What'd you go to? I ended Speaker 1 (15:03) up like after my junior year was horrible. I mean, my grades weren't good. I passed four parts of the OGT, even through all that. I was still like, okay. Yeah. But I ended up going to a charter school. Speaker 3 (15:16) Okay. Speaker 1 (15:17) And I graduated from there like in 2012. Okay. Yeah. I got my high school diploma. So I still had to fight