Frank Gets Arty

Frank Off The Radio: The Frank Skinner Podcast

Frank Skinner and Emily Dean are joined by comedian Brennan Reece for a meandering conversation that shifts from contemporary art to 90s nos

Key takeaways

Frank describes the immersive experience of viewing Anish Kapoor's light-absorbing black paint at the Hayward Gallery.
The group discusses the absurdity of 'punning' business names like The Cut Father and The Dough Father.
Brennan introduces the concept of dissolvable shorts used as a prank during stag dos.
A debate ensues regarding the transition from imperial to metric measurements and its impact on society.
The hosts reminisce about 90s television figures like Annika Rice and Big Brother's Nasty Nick.

Main topics

Anish Kapoor's art exhibition
90s Pop Culture nostalgia
Linguistic puns in business names

Notable quotes

It starts to meander. It's like struggling to get the top off a jar of Piccadilly, but once you're in, it's quite gooey.

Conclusion

A high-energy, anecdotal episode that finds humor in the trivialities

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) It's Frank of Speaker 1 (0:02) the Radio. Speaker 2 (0:06) It's the Frank Skinner Podcast, don't you know Whoa, Speaker 1 (0:10) Black Betty Bamberlam Whoa, Speaker 2 (0:12) Black Betty Bamberlam Black Betty had a child The damn thing drank mild This is Frank off the radio I'm joined by Emily Dean and Brennan Rees is with us today Follow the... What do you mean, who? Find out soon enough. Speaker 1 (0:28) Follow the Speaker 2 (0:29) podcast on X and Instagram. He laughed, it's all right. Speaker 1 (0:32) He did. Cried inside. There Speaker 2 (0:34) you go with that one. You can email the podcast via frankofftheradio at avalonuk.com. On the WhatsApp front. Speaker 3 (0:45) 7 4 1 7 7 6 9 0 7 Speaker 3 (0:50) I'm a 17-17 man. Speaker 2 (0:53) And relax. Speaker 1 (0:55) Welcome, Brennan. Speaker 3 (0:58) It's a lot, isn't it, to start with? It's a Speaker 2 (1:00) lot to start with. No, it starts to meander. It's like struggling to get the top off a jar of Piccadilly, but once you're in, it's quite gooey. Speaker 1 (1:08) Yeah. Speaker 2 (1:09) The podcast works very much like that. Can I say, I've only ever met Brennan twice before. Brennan did... Speaker 2 (1:19) Oh, Speaker 1 (1:20) is that the show you did in Edinburgh? In Speaker 2 (1:21) Edinburgh, yes. It was great fun. It was good. Yeah, it's an improvised show. And I'm Speaker 1 (1:26) assuming he was good. He Speaker 2 (1:28) was good, as he wouldn't be here now. You know what I'm saying? Speaker 1 (1:30) Well, it never stopped me. Speaker 2 (1:31) The only Speaker 1 (1:32) reason Speaker 2 (1:32) I thought he might not come is when I thanked him at the end of the second show, I got his name wrong. Speaker 1 (1:39) You didn't. That's unlike you. What did you say, Brendan? Did you go Brendan? I Speaker 2 (1:43) think I called Speaker 1 (1:43) you Speaker 2 (1:43) Finley Rees or something like that. Speaker 3 (1:46) I mean, I've been called worse, so I'll take a Finlay Rees. I know, but Finlay and Speaker 2 (1:49) Brennan, they're not two names that keep banging up against each other in the memory, are they? Speaker 1 (1:55) Finlay's an unusual one to go for. Speaker 2 (1:57) I don't know where it came from. Did you Speaker 1 (1:58) apologise? Speaker 2 (1:59) Absolutely not. Did Speaker 1 (2:01) I not Speaker 2 (2:01) apologise? Speaker 1 (2:02) You Speaker 2 (2:02) can do it now if you want for everyone Speaker 3 (2:04) to hear. The Speaker 2 (2:05) moment's gone now. Speaker 3 (2:06) Not for me. If Speaker 2 (2:07) it makes you feel any better, I did introduce Joe Wilkinson as Jack Whitehall. That's a different gig, isn't Speaker 3 (2:13) it? Speaker 2 (2:13) I just had the initials in my mind and it didn't... It could have been Johnny Wilkinson who was there, if you remember him. The rugby player who Speaker 3 (2:23) kicked and won a World Speaker 2 (2:25) Cup. Yeah, the Golden Foot or something he was called. What was that? What they called his penis. I Speaker 1 (2:30) can't remember. We've only been doing this for a few minutes. I know. Do you know what? I keep a nice clean outside, do Brennan. I Speaker 2 (2:37) know that. I know that. I went to an exhibition last night. What about that? Fancy Lauderdale. At Speaker 1 (2:44) the Speaker 2 (2:44) Hayward Gallery. Speaker 1 (2:45) How Speaker 2 (2:45) was Speaker 1 (2:48) it and what was it? Speaker 2 (2:50) It was by an artist called Anish Kapoor. I've heard of Speaker 1 (2:55) Anish Kapoor. Are you into art, Speaker 2 (2:56) race? I'm... Frank! Frank? I called him... Speaker 1 (3:03) Why did you... Call him Reece. Brennan Speaker 2 (3:05) I'm really struggling with. Speaker 1 (3:06) What's wrong with you? There Speaker 2 (3:08) was a Man United footballer called Shai Brennan and if I was you, that's what I'd call your house. Okay, you can call me that. You can Speaker 1 (3:15) call me whatever you Speaker 2 (3:15) want. I'm going to call you Brennan. Can I Speaker 1 (3:17) just say, Frank likes to give nicknames to people. So our producer, he calls Sandy, even though her name's Emily. Right. But two Speaker 3 (3:24) Emilys Speaker 2 (3:25) is too confusing. Speaker 1 (3:26) Oh, for goodness sake. Come on. Speaker 2 (3:27) Can I suggest one for me? Let's give Brennan a nickname. Bren. I'd say the golden foot. That's okay. That's an image for everyone. Okay. I'm happy with that. GF. I Speaker 3 (3:39) was Speaker 2 (3:39) actually, I'm troubling showing my age now. I should have gone metric. I often think about that day when that, because that Speaker 3 (3:47) must have changed on a day. Speaker 2 (3:48) Yes, I was there. That was mad. That must have been Speaker 3 (3:51) a Speaker 2 (3:51) bit mad. I know, Speaker 3 (3:51) because Speaker 2 (3:52) I was there. It was mad. Speaker 1 (3:54) Did they make an announcement then? Speaker 2 (3:56) They said it was something like, I don't know, February 1970 something. And they said, like, you know, you go out today and you're going to spend pound shillings and pence. And when you go out tomorrow, it's all going to be one new P, as they called it. Speaker 1 (4:12) But you were still allowed to spend shillings. But it was Speaker 2 (4:14) like, you know, people thought planes would drop out of the sky like the millennium. Whatever happened, any major change, people think the planes are going to drop out of the sky. Like Y2K. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Speaker 1 (4:25) Millennium Bug. Speaker 2 (4:26) Yeah, all of it. Speaker 1 (4:27) So anyway, recent... Brexit. Speaker 2 (4:29) They thought planes were going to drop out of the sky. You Speaker 1 (4:33) were about to tell us about Amish Kapoor. You were asking Brennan if he was familiar with Amish's work. Well, Speaker 2 (4:41) he doesn't like art. We've established that. Oh, OK. But that's all right. I do. I've seen GIFs and memes. OK. I know all the art. OK. So I don't know if you are familiar with the work of Kapoor, but one of his things is he uses the blackest paint in the cosmos. Speaker 2 (5:02) What? Yeah, somebody developed this black paint. And he, I don't know how he did this, but he got a sort of exclusive on it. And when you look at it, it is the blackest thing you've ever seen. It doesn't reflect light at all. Really? It is like looking, you imagine it. What is Speaker 1 (5:21) it, just the most intense pigment possible? Well, I Speaker 2 (5:23) don't know how they did it. But man, Speaker 1 (5:26) it Speaker 2 (5:26) just sends you thinking, oh, I know what. It's basically dark black. I can handle that. But it's more than that. Really? You find yourself thinking, oh, my God, is that what's left? Is it like a black hole? Well, it depends on what he does with it. You know, he paints different things with it. How does Speaker 1 (5:43) Amish manage to get hold of this? On the dark web? Speaker 2 (5:48) The very dark web, actually. Well, Speaker 3 (5:50) there was Speaker 2 (5:50) some, I don't know all the facts of this, but as I recall. he got an exclusive with the people who developed it. And then other artists said, why come Anish gets to just have the blackest paint in the cosmos? And so they developed the pinkest paint in the cosmos. It was available to everyone except Anish. No. This is the story. To get their own back. I Speaker 1 (6:16) didn't know artists were so petty. Yeah, and Speaker 2 (6:18) then he managed to get Alderson and he dipped his middle finger in it and put a picture online of him with the pink paint dripping down Speaker 3 (6:25) his... Oh, Speaker 1 (6:26) I Speaker 3 (6:26) love a bit of gobshitery. Do Speaker 1 (6:28) you Speaker 3 (6:28) know when someone goes, I'm Speaker 1 (6:29) going to... Also, Brennan, he'd actually be a lovely friend for Frank. Because I just think that's how you might... It's a bit of a git thing to do. Speaker 2 (6:36) Yeah, I think if you've gone in there fast and got the... You don't want everybody using the blackest paint in the cosmos. All the novelty will go out of it. Yeah. Speaker 3 (6:45) I want to know what he did to get the exclusive on it, though. Speaker 2 (6:48) Probably paid some money. Speaker 3 (6:51) But it feels like a lot to get the blackest paint of all. Speaker 2 (6:53) Yeah, it's not a thing I've ever priced. No. There's no segment in Exchange and Mark Speaker 3 (7:00) for the Speaker 2 (7:01) blackest paint available. What do you use it for as well? I'll tell you how black it is. There was a black panel of it painted and in front of it there was like a corrugated, it looked like a stair thing. Speaker 1 (7:17) Yes. But Speaker 2 (7:18) when you looked at the corrugated bit with the black panel in the background, you couldn't see. the slightest hint of the corrugated thing. Speaker 1 (7:29) Normally Speaker 2 (7:29) you'd get a bit of light or a bit of shadow, but nothing. You couldn't. It disappeared into this void. Anyway, speaking of this podcast. Speaker 1 (7:39) Frank's quite critical of the podcast. No, Speaker 2 (7:41) I Speaker 1 (7:41) love the podcast. Speaker 2 (7:43) But, you know, love is... I Speaker 1 (7:45) know. Speaker 2 (7:46) ...sinewous. It's Speaker 1 (7:47) his process. Speaker 2 (7:48) I'll tell you what I did do. I met... This might be a name that means nothing to you, Brendan. What, like mine? No. Oh, no, he Speaker 1 (7:59) didn't. No, I Speaker 2 (8:01) remember this one. What I liked is when I was floundering then, I called you Rhys, which is your surname, because I'm being back at public school. Rhys Minor. Speaker 1 (8:15) was literally like the headmaster. Yeah, Speaker 2 (8:17) I thought I might get five of the best. Speaker 1 (8:19) Exactly. Just out of interest. Speaker 2 (8:21) Usually six. Speaker 3 (8:22) Has Speaker 2 (8:23) it Speaker 3 (8:23) gone down nowadays? It's when it went from Imperial to Metric. Bloody woke. Speaker 1 (8:27) You Speaker 3 (8:27) get five of the best now. No, the Speaker 1 (8:29) woke karate campaign to get it down to five. I love Speaker 2 (8:32) that it was Des Moraes. Oh, man. Just Speaker 1 (8:37) so I can establish, though, because you've had Finlay played around with Rhys. Which are you... Are you going for Brennan now? I Speaker 2 (8:44) think I'm just going to... You know those people when you meet someone and they obviously know you and you don't remember them, so you just don't use their name? Speaker 3 (8:51) Mm. I Speaker 2 (8:52) mean, I'm not a big name user. Some people, they throw a name in every couple of sentences. You know what I mean? Speaker 1 (8:59) I find that slightly disconcerting. Do you, Emily? Oh, I didn't like it. No, but you see what people do do Speaker 2 (9:05) now. Speaker 1 (9:05) I agree with you. I find it disconcerting and a bit like someone's... read a book on how to sort of manipulate me or something. Speaker 2 (9:13) Do you know Speaker 1 (9:13) what I mean? Because I think it is in How to Win Friends and Influence People. Paul Speaker 2 (9:17) McKenna, I think. Yeah, Speaker 1 (9:18) it's very Paul McKenna. Paul McKenna, How Speaker 2 (9:19) to Make Friends and Manipulate People. Speaker 2 (9:23) It's when Speaker 1 (9:23) people say, so Frank, you must know that Frank, because someone of your stature, Frank, it's a bit odd. It feels like they're Speaker 2 (9:29) penetrating the mind a bit. I think they're, with me, they're just offering me an aide de mémoire. Speaker 2 (9:38) Anyway, so I was with my wife at the exhibition and it was all, it was lovely. There was some incredible stuff. I would recommend it. There's the