Parenting Your Child’s Heart, Not Just Behavior
Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
In this episode of Focus on the Family, host John Fuller interviews Juan and Janine Sanchez about shifting parenting focus from mere behavio
Key takeaways
- Juan Sanchez outlines three pillars of faithful parenting: godly parental example, biblical instruction, and corrective discipline.
- The Sanchez family utilized mealtimes and car rides to engage in consistent spiritual discipleship with their five daughters.
Main topics
- Biblical parenting principles
- Discipleship in daily routines
Notable quotes
Your child does not need a perfect parent. Your child has a perfect Savior.
Conclusion
The episode offers encouraging, practical strategies for parents to bu
Transcript preview
Speaker 1 (0:00) I just am really thankful for Focus on the Family because it's meant so Speaker 5 (0:04) much to me. That's just one of the millions of people who've been blessed by Focus on the Family as we celebrate 50 years of ministry next year. And as part of the celebration, we want to hear your Speaker 4 (0:17) story. Call today and share your touching or humorous story about how God has used Focus on the Family in your life. The link is in the show notes. Speaker 3 (0:31) Number one, you're not a perfect parent. Speaker 4 (0:34) What? And Speaker 3 (0:35) your child is not a perfect child. Speaker 4 (0:36) And Speaker 3 (0:37) your child does not need a perfect parent. Your child has a perfect Savior. And that's what your child needs. What your child needs is for you to be a faithful Christian. And that's what's important for us to understand. That's a big statement. Yeah. And so I think sometimes you overcomplicate what we're doing. What we're really doing is we're... growing in Christ-likeness before our children. Speaker 4 (1:03) That's Juan Sanchez, and he and his wife Janine are with us today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Thanks for joining us. I'm John Fuller. Speaker 5 (1:11) You know, John, parenting doesn't come with a manual. Were you scared to death? I remember when Trent, my son, was born, my first son, and they handed him to me. It freaked me out. It was like, what do I do now? There was nothing that came with it. It was like, you know, what a b****. Blessed son you have. And I was like, yeah, I hope I don't break them, right? Today we're going to talk to our guests about the ins and outs of parenting and getting on the same page and what happens when you don't and a Speaker 4 (1:42) lot of great tips. And reaching your child's heart is a real critical component of the conversation today. In fact, the book title is Reaching Your Child's Heart and the authors are Juan and Janine Sanchez. We're so glad to have them. Juan is senior pastor of High Point Baptist Church in Austin, Texas, and Janine teaches English and writing to children and helps women understand how to apply God's Word to everyday life. They've got five adult daughters, bless you, and a Speaker 5 (2:11) growing number of grandchildren. That is awesome. Welcome to the program. Thank you. It's a joy to be here. Here's the question. What have you learned raising five girls? I'll ask both of you. Speaker 2 (2:22) Wow. So much. I think one of the big things is that formulaic parenting just doesn't work. Speaker 5 (2:29) You Speaker 2 (2:30) know, the A plus B equals C. And if you do this, then your children are going to turn out this way. And the Lord and his kind providence did not allow that in our lives. And what a mercy. Speaker 5 (2:44) Yeah. Really. Gene and I walking through a grocery store when we were first married, no kids, and we'd see a child out of control. And we would say, you know, when we have children, our child will never act like that. That's right. How many of us say that? Well, my child was Speaker 2 (3:01) there. My child was that child. Oh, yeah. Mine too. Speaker 3 (3:04) That's the funny thing. Speaker 5 (3:06) But Juan, you did military. Yeah. Did you come? into the marriage and into the parenting role as dad, as that guy? Yeah, I mean, I was Captain Von Trapp without the Speaker 3 (3:17) whistle. Yeah, so I thought about that. Sound of music is your story. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but what's interesting is, kind of like you mentioned, I didn't know what was going on, and I had a warped understanding of parenting. I thought, I read the theology books, you deal with the kids, and then once they are old enough to talk and potty train and all that, then I'll kind of jump in there. And so when we had our first daughter, very surprisingly, because we were going to wait two years, get to know each other. We had a plan. We had a plan. And six months into our marriage, we're pregnant. And so we didn't know what was going on. And so we were making things up as we Speaker 4 (3:54) go Speaker 3 (3:55) along. She didn't sleep through the night consistently until she was four years old. And I told Janine, we can't keep doing this. And so, yeah, there was a lot of Speaker 5 (4:05) learning. the hard way. Yeah. Juan, you said when your firstborn daughter turned six, it was kind of a change of the game. What Speaker 3 (4:14) happened when she was six that changed it? One of the things I would say is like Janine mentioned, she knows she is not the Holy Spirit. And so she wasn't critical, she wasn't nagging, but she prayed for me for six years. And then one day she came to me and she said, hey, there's this parenting conference happening not far from us. Would you be willing to go? And so I said yes. And again, my thinking was, I'm in ministry. I have to pour myself into this. And the speaker spoke my language, which is biblical and theological. And he helped me understand from Scripture what is God's design for the family, what is God's design for the husband and the wife, and what is my place in all of this. And I realized, oh. my place is to be the leader. I'm supposed to be the spiritual leader. And I'm supposed to, in the way that Jesus loved the church with a sacrificial servant and sanctifying kind of love, I'm supposed to be reproducing that culture and that environment in my home, leading my wife in that way, but also leading my children. So we came back and I began reading and thinking about that, you know, very convicted. And it was amazing to me how our home, I would call it, was upside down, where Janine was leading us in the parenting, the discipleship, the discipline. And within a matter of time, it seemed fairly quickly, she began to come to me and ask questions about discipleship and parenting and discipline. And we came to it as a team. And what we've discovered is that there are three pillars to faithful parenting. The first one is godly parental example. We lead by example. You know, just as elders are supposed to lead not under compulsion but by example, we are displaying to our children who God is, his love, his authority. But secondly, biblical instruction is the foundation and then corrective discipline. And what we found is those three pillars are given to us in Scripture for us to be able to model for our children. what the Christian life is like, for us to teach them who God is and what he requires of them, and then that corrective discipline that God himself uses on us. And it's been amazing how it not only transformed our parenting, but it actually transformed our marriage. And it's actually not that complicated. Nope. Speaker 5 (6:44) But you have to get focused on it and understand what the inputs need to be. That's right. for those predictive outcomes. Well, Speaker 2 (6:53) and I