Spade Arrives in Italy

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

David Spade records his first episode from Italy, sharing anecdotes about navigating Italian culture, language barriers, and unusual local m

Key takeaways

• David Spade recounts how Google Translate failed him in Italy by playing Eagles songs instead of translating.
• The hosts discuss the difficulty of finding familiar items like ZzzQuil while traveling through the Alps.

Main topics

• Travel in Italy
• Italian Gastronology

Notable quotes

Google Translate is almost like Shazam because it just shows song lyrics.

Conclusion

A high-energy episode of comedic banter that blends travel observation

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:00) We don't have a Z-Quil, but we Speaker 4 (0:02) have possum juice. Make you sleepy. Speaker 5 (0:06) It's also spaghetti sauce. The word in the street is Spade is a colossal b****. Speaker 3 (0:12) Out of all the grown-ups, guys. Right? Well, you have different kinds of different things that need to be figured out. But you did... Why Italy? Is it... Is it crucial to the plot? What couldn't you have done in the back lot of Sony and just built a little icy sculpture? This is the Speaker 5 (0:31) Odyssey. I can't even explain it to you. What's the budget Speaker 3 (0:35) on this turkey? Speaker 5 (0:40) All right, welcome to the lightest, brightest I've ever been with my fluffy hair on the side. We are in different Speaker 3 (0:46) locations and we have different equipment. What your hair is doing is remarkable. It's remarkable. Speaker 3 (0:54) It's because you're in a wig all day, Speaker 5 (0:56) right? And then I said, you know what? Dana doesn't deserve a hat. I'll probably put it on them. Speaker 3 (1:02) Don't be mad about my messy hair. I know your hilarious cut is hilarious. This is just to cheer you up after our kind of technical issues. Everybody needs a salzunt. Speaker 5 (1:19) You know, he seems like he's saying in Italian. Didn't he do? Oh, yeah. Volare or something? Oh, yeah, that's Amore. Yeah, that's Amore. I Speaker 3 (1:31) have too much of a froggy throat to do this. It's 3.30 in the morning here and where I am. Speaker 5 (1:37) Oh, you know, the thing about how much we are devoted to our fan base, which is fucking huge, is that I'm late in the day and Dana's early in the morning because I'm in... Speaker 3 (1:53) You Speaker 5 (1:54) know, it's funny, aside from everyone, I mean, almost everyone speaks Italian here. It's very Speaker 3 (2:03) annoying. I've told you how to hack it, right, in previous podcasts. Speaker 4 (2:13) I don't Speaker 3 (2:14) know. Like we were waiting for the ferry and it was like, I don't know what. No. And I said, I'm not kidding. And it works. It works. So what would be a typical thing you'd have to ask? Well, Speaker 5 (2:28) they do put high eyes. They go, you want to go to dinner? Well, Speaker 3 (2:33) that's more like Mexico City. But I do have Google Translate. Speaker 3 (2:39) Oh, you do? Okay, take back everything I just Speaker 5 (2:42) said. Google Translate is almost like Shazam because it just shows song lyrics. Speaker 5 (2:53) So it doesn't... So I don't think it's Speaker 3 (2:54) working properly. Well, don't you talk into it and then it interprets it? I do, but I think it picked up the song and I guess it goes, Speaker 5 (3:02) on a dark desert highway. And they're like, what is that? I'm like, oh, that's from an Eagles song. I think this is not working right. Speaker 3 (3:10) It doesn't seem like just playing random English-speaking pop songs would help an Italian translate what you're trying to convey. That's just me. I'm a nut that way. Speaker 5 (3:20) No, it's Speaker 3 (3:21) a Speaker 5 (3:21) disaster. But I will tell you, the people use their hands so much, but they don't have guns here. So when they get in a fight, it's like slow motion. Speaker 3 (3:33) So that's an aggressive. Is that being aggressive? So it looks like a gun, but it's just a hand. Okay. I like that about Italy. Very peaceful country. Speaker 5 (3:46) Yeah. Very peaceful. Also, they try to like, because we're trying to eat and they go, you're going to have so much fast there. And it's actually really good for you. And you actually don't gain weight. And it's actually. And then I don't know if that's all true, but I said, oh, great. And they try to show off with the. You know, because the menu is never like spaghetti and meatballs. It's like. Speaker 3 (4:08) Exactly. Speaker 5 (4:14) And then I go, what's ravioli? Got any, got any like spaghetti meat sauce there? So he goes, ravioli with meat. And then I look at what kind of meat it's rabbit, deer and hamster. Speaker 3 (4:27) It's like Speaker 5 (4:28) so crazy where you go, this is disgusting. Speaker 3 (4:31) This is all the breadth of human history. We would eat rodents and things and frogs and turtles. It's only new that we have this filet of whatever. But I like it there because it's benign. Like one time these cops came up to me and said, get up against the wall. And they made like this and they go and have a piece of pizza. And have a pizza pie. I thought they were threatening. Up against the wall, spread them and have a piece of pizza. Oh, you guys are kidding me. Sbarro. Speaker 5 (5:04) Sbarro. Right, we have our pizza. It's how it is over here. You want some skunk meat on your pasta? Speaker 4 (5:14) You want the full skunk or you just want the meat Speaker 5 (5:16) pie? Speaker 4 (5:17) You Speaker 5 (5:17) want the Speaker 4 (5:17) groundhog. Groundhog tail, just the tail. A light olive oil. We saute the tail. We make a filet. Speaker 3 (5:25) Nice for you. Speaker 4 (5:26) I Speaker 5 (5:27) have spaghetti and os a lot. I keep throwing in different animals. I know. You've got like six of them so far. I'm impressed. How Speaker 4 (5:36) about some Speaker 3 (5:37) nice marsupial soup? You like that? Speaker 4 (5:47) Yeah. Speaker 5 (5:49) All right. Here's another thing. They also say excusi a lot. There's two things. I say excusi. They bump in. That's Speaker 3 (5:57) the funnest one to say. Speaker 5 (5:59) Excusi. Speaker 3 (6:01) Excusi. Excusi. Here's one you can use. It's 4.30 in the morning here. I was in a cab in Rome. Speaker 3 (6:12) I was just riffing, where do you go? What do you do? I was in the front seat. And finally he arrived and I said, abracadabra. It just sounds Italian. I don't know if it is. You can use it. Abracadabra. Can you hear me? Read my lips. I Speaker 5 (6:30) can't see you move at all. Speaker 3 (6:33) I can hear you. And there you came back. Speaker 5 (6:34) I can hear noises. So you're still talking. So I didn't interrupt you. But if I don't gut bust, that's. It wasn't. Speaker 3 (6:42) There you go. Speaker 5 (6:42) You're working again. Speaker 3 (6:42) It is funny when you do something funny or you think it's kind of funny and your podcast partner is like... Speaker 5 (6:50) Spacing out, staring, going... Yeah, that's my face. That one. Anything else? Oh, I will say when I walk in the street and Italian people walk at me, they wait for me to move. They just walk right at me like this. And I go... They don't veer off. It's like jousting. They come right at you and you go, oh, I guess I move. What the fuck? So it's Speaker 3 (7:16) a Speaker 5 (7:16) game of chicken. Speaker 3 (7:17) Who's going to move first? It is a game of chicken. Speaker 5 (7:20) It's Speaker 3 (7:21) a game of chicken. Over Speaker 5 (7:22) here we call it a game of a pheasant. Oh, and chicken is the only normal meat we don't have. Speaker 4 (7:33) You like us chickens are weird Speaker 5 (7:35) too. Yeah. I mean, you know, I guess I'm used to cows and chickens, so that's normal to me, but over here it's deer and elk and you know, whatever, but also let's see what else is going on. I got tons to tell you, Dana. Not really. Oh, someone said a good observation about that movie obsession. Okay. I say it's like, no, I think Rock said it. He said it's like the wrong Missy if it wasn't a comedy. Pretty Speaker 3 (8:03) much. Speaker 5 (8:04) Crazy Speaker 3 (8:04) girl. Speaker 5 (8:05) She had a knife at the beginning when I was dating her. It's kind of true. Speaker 3 (8:11) That's right. Yeah. She's being stalked and haunted and she's the radical monster. I didn't see it, but I've heard a lot about Speaker 5 (8:19) it. I tried to see it and I got through. One of the kids in the movie is in our movie. So I'm like, oh, and he goes, you have not seen it. I go, I know I went to, but I'm scared. I'll watch it when it's on FUBU. I'll watch it when it's on Peapaw, the grandma station. Speaker 3 (8:38) I'll watch it when it's on Mom, Pa, Kettle, Channel 7, out of Denver. Let's redo Hee Haw. Hee Haw. I remember the late, great Bernie Berlstein. one of our managers, lovely man, funny guy. And he got some backend money from he, ha. I remember him saying they take he, ha Speaker 4 (9:03) money in London, just like they take any other money. Speaker 5 (9:07) Yeah. It Speaker 3 (9:09) doesn't matter how you make it. Speaker 5 (9:11) And they pay in hay. That's the only problem. Hee-haw. They Speaker 3 (9:16) should bring back a country western. Isn't it about time? It is. Hee Speaker 5 (9:21) -haw would probably do well. Speaker 3 (9:23) I bet. And guess what? I've got the host and the co-host. Who is it? Speaker 5 (9:26) The host Speaker 3 (9:27) of brand new Hee-haw tonight on NBC. God damn it. We're going to have some freaking fun. I'm Billy Bob Thornton. And his Speaker 4 (9:37) co-host. Speaker 3 (9:40) Some stuff's going to go down. Who's that? Sorry, it was too fast. Sam Elliott. Oh, yeah. He could be on here. Tonight, I eat my own mustache. Speaker 4 (9:53) I played a scarecrow. Speaker 3 (9:57) They're in a cornfield, right? And they pop up. It's like laughing. Speaker 4 (10:00) I Speaker 3 (10:00) love that. And they do jokes. We're Speaker 5 (10:02) from a town of Chattanooga, Tennessee. Population 18. Salute. Speaker 3 (10:07) Woo. I mean, it's kind of disparaging of Southern people. I know. I love that. So Speaker 5 (10:14) stereotypical. I couldn't love it more. I sat there and glued to that thing. Also, clarification, because we had some blurbs. Sometimes we talk about stuff when the podcast gets picked up out there on the website. We Speaker 3 (10:29) go a little edgy. Speaker 5 (10:30) Well, this is just because I said stupidly that. I thought I made out with Drew Barrymore one time and I didn't know if I did. You couldn't Speaker 3 (10:38) remember? And Speaker 5 (10:39) then how did that trend? Was she upset about that? Anything where it says something about making out with Drew Barrymore. But I kind of stepped in shit because I didn't clarify it was so long ago. It was like right before Wedding Singer when my fictitious make out happened for like five seconds. Now, wait Speaker 3 (10:57) a minute. Do you remember that or no? I think I do, but I would. Pretty Speaker 5 (11:02) shaky. She would Speaker 3 (11:03) say no. Speaker 4 (11:05) Well, Speaker 3 (11:06) make out is a Speaker 5 (11:07) pretty, there's a lot of ways to think about that. Speaker 4 (11:11) Yeah, Speaker 5 (11:13) it was just a- It could be just a Speaker 3 (11:14) peck Speaker 5 (11:15) that's called- I don't want to start up again. I'm just saying I feel bad for her that I even said it because it's so stupid. But I will tell you, this is a more interesting story. I was looking for La Pharmacia yesterday, which- Sounds like what you'd say in Spanish. A Speaker 4 (11:30) farmacia. We got a lot of peas for you. Speaker 5 (11:35) Not enough. Not enough. So I go and I go, do you have any Z-Quil? Speaker 3 (11:40) Z-Quil? No, they wouldn't. We don't have a Z-Quil, but Speaker 4 (11:44) we have possum juice. Make you sleepy. Speaker 5 (11:49) It's also spaghetti sauce. Speaker 3 (11:56) Yeah. No, Speaker 5 (11:57) they go, we have a, you know, there's a big quill family. Have you seen Z quill? They have NyQuill. Yeah. They have Headache Quill. Pain Quill. Day Speaker 3 (12:08) Quill. Speaker 5 (12:08) Day Quill. Honey Quill. Z Quill. Yeah. Breakfast Quill. And Cold and Flu. And then really bad Cold and Flu. Like, just give me the really bad one. Don't give me the medium one. Speaker 3 (12:23) Well, look, if you do all those ones, Z-Quilt, A-Quilt, Gig-Quilt, they send you a quilt. Just a thing most people don't know. Ah, Speaker 5 (12:31) Z-Quilt, Speaker 3 (12:31) yeah. If you do all of them, it's a bonus little gift they give you. Speaker 5 (12:35) It's a really interesting family tree. Speaker 3 (12:39) Do you get A-Quilts? Speaker 5 (12:43) Why