Don't Call Her Lucky, You Didn't See What It Cost Her!

Entrepreneur Parents - Pretty & Punk Podcast | Family Success, Business Tactics, Relationship Goals

This episode of Entrepreneur Parents delves into the often unseen struggles behind a mother's success, challenging the narrative that her ac

Key takeaways

• Success often appears sudden to outsiders but is usually the result of years of unseen effort and resilience.
• Calling someone's success 'luck' can unintentionally dismiss the hard work, discipline, and emotional toll behind it.

Main topics

• The myth of overnight success
• Emotional labor and sacrifice in motherhood and entrepreneurship

Notable quotes

They saw the open door. Everybody saw it. But they didn't see how many times she had stood in front of a closed one.

Conclusion

True celebration of a mother's success means recognizing the invisible work behind

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) Imagine this for a moment, friends. There's a mother in her kitchen, just the same as any one of us. She's opened up her computer for the 10th time during the day, trying to accomplish what she had set out to do. And she sits there for a moment. She takes a big, deep breath in. And she stares at the announcement for several minutes before she posted it. She had written the caption six times that day, maybe more. She deleted the paragraph, put it back, changed it in a small way, and then whispered a small prayer. Pressed share. After years of work, something had finally happened. A contract had been signed. The product had been picked up. The show had grown. Speaker 1 (1:11) Business had reached a number she once wrote privately inside her journal. The idea could be different for different moms out there. It could be anything. But for the first time, she was allowing people to see the answer to a prayer. They had never heard her pray, and the comments began appearing. Some were so beautiful. I knew you could do it, friend. I'm so proud of you. You worked so hard for this. And then came another kind. You're so lucky. Must be nice. Everything always works out for you. She read those words and she looked around the room. She looked at the side of the kitchen. where there was stacks of notes filled with corrections, scribbled out ideas. Then she looked at the calendar on the left side of the room, covered in crossed-out plans. And then she looked at the laptop she had carried from room to room while caring for her babies, for her beautiful family. She looked at the rejected email she had never deleted. her inspiration to keep going. She knew that they could see the announcement. They could not see the years behind it. They saw the open door. Everybody saw it. But they didn't see how many times she had stood in front of a closed one. Maybe she was fortunate. She believed God had blessed her beyond anything she could have created alone. Speaker 1 (3:26) But it wasn't easy. It wasn't sudden. It was not simply luck. Buckle in, guys. We're about to have another valuable conversation. And I just want you to take a deep breath. See yourselves in this conversation. I want you to maybe see what you... where this conversation could, like the inspiration, the spark that it can cause for you, this ripple effect, this... Speaker 1 (4:11) I guess let's be clear. Just don't give up. That's what I'm trying to say here. Don't give up. Let's sit together and let's have this conversation. Grab your loved ones or your loved one. And if this is your time where you get to go for a walk or you get to just sit in some silence while everybody's having a rest or doing their thing, take this time with me. I'm so grateful you're here. Let's go. Speaker 1 (4:45) Uh, no. Ooh, that's better, right, babe? Yeah. Speaker 3 (4:53) Yeah. Speaker 3 (4:55) She founded an architectural concrete company. He Speaker 1 (4:58) founded a $100 million clothing company. She Speaker 3 (5:02) took the world by storm as a social media star. He Speaker 1 (5:05) took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Speaker 3 (5:11) Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Speaker 1 (5:14) Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As Speaker 3 (5:19) they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And Speaker 1 (5:23) everything in between. Welcome back to the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast, the Becoming Unshakeable series. This is another episode of 4 for Moms Supporting Moms. In this series, we have talked about supporting a mother before the world notices her, helping carry what makes building difficult, and honoring the value of her work. Today we're talking about what happens when the work begins to succeed. Such an exciting conversation because Many of us aren't there yet and we need that hope to keep going. And what does it look like? And we know it's not easy. There's so many things that we've had to throw the towel in on because we just felt God whisper, you know, not this one. Or sometimes we're still fighting open doors that perhaps God has closed. But this is going to be a good one. I know it is. Because we had this conversation the other day in our community, and it really hit. And I wanted to bring it here. It was so powerful. Supporting a mother is not only standing beside her when nothing is working. And I know some of us don't have that. But if we can be that person, gosh, we... We are the angels on earth. We are the blessing. And it's knowing how to respond when something finally does start working. It starts becoming successful. It is being able to look at another woman's answered prayer without treating it like evidence that God has forgotten you. Speaker 1 (7:29) Success often appears suddenly to the person who has only just begun paying attention. It feels that way. I remember back when I was taking my classes with my coaching for some of the roles that I was studying for. I remember my coach said, and then he said he made it overnight. He was talking about an actor. Just made it overnight. He became famous. He said, that's never the case. Many times it's years and years of no's. This happens in business too. We know this. So many no's. Colonel Chicken, how many no's did he get? Right? Don't give up. Don't give up. But then one day, one day, when the yes happens, most of the witnesses don't see what went into it. We discover someone after the audience has grown. We hear about the business once it becomes, let's say, profitable. Wow, they acquired that for several million? Speaker 1 (8:57) Several billion? We notice the mother when her work finally reaches a larger room, a larger audience. From outside, it can look as though everything changed for her overnight. But an overnight success is often a story we entered several years late. Before the announcement, there were ordinary days where... When she kept going without evidence, it would even matter. Perhaps not even be noticed. There were ideas that failed. Many of them, I can guarantee that. Messages that received no response. They were looked at, but perhaps not strong enough. It didn't pull the trigger for someone to even respond. There was money invested without a guarantee that it would return. Money that they didn't have to invest. There were seasons when she questioned herself. She kept working anyway. She kept creating the product, creating the content, creating the podcast. There were family plans that were rearranged. Speaker 1 (10:27) There were moments when the children needed her, the business needed her, and she couldn't imagine how one woman could answer both. But of course, she chose her family first. There was always sacrifice that other people didn't see. And we may not have seen that part. Because she may have protected it. She may have smiled when you asked her how things were going because she didn't have the strength or the energy to explain how uncertain everything felt. Everything's great. It's going great. It's going great. Plus, it is so important, those of us that know the secret, to speak positivity even when things feel uncertain. We need that. We need that for ourselves. And then one day, the work began producing visible fruit. And people called her, what? Lucky. They called her lucky. She's so lucky. Sometimes you are so lucky is said with genuine affection. There's nothing wrong with recognizing favorable timing, unexpected opportunity, or the grace of God. None of us succeed entirely alone. I truly believe that God's hands are all over success. And then later he'll watch how we steward it. But I truly believe when the timing is right, God's miracle is evident. Doors open that we couldn't force open. People help us. People come into our lives many times. Many times it is not even our own family. It's like God speaks to other people. Remember we had the podcast when I was talking about let us be the people that are the angels on earth to help others, to encourage others. Timing matters. God's favor can take us places effort alone. Never could. Never. Speaker 1 (13:06) That's a miracle. But sometimes the word lucky can carry a different message. And that's what the community was talking about. It could become a way of avoiding what her success required. It requires us to acknowledge. It kind of throws that fact that mother was so disciplined. Speaker 1 (13:37) It wasn't just luck. She was so disciplined. She had to become better. There were so many lessons that she needed to learn before she could elevate herself, before she could take the steps on the ladder towards the top. She survived disappointment that many people don't even want to face because it's so painful. She continued. When continuing was inconvenient, it didn't feel good. Calling it luck allows us to admire the result without confronting the consistency that helped produce it. And, you know, the saying must be nice, must be nice. You know the tone, must be nice. Speaker 1 (14:31) Is that what it sounds like? I mean, it can sound harmless, but it often lands as a type of accusation. It suggests that the beautiful moment arrived without a price and that she was handed something other people were denied. Must be nice. It makes me laugh because I've heard that. I've seen people say that. And maybe, you know, maybe it was harmless. Maybe. But sometimes there's something else behind it. And it could sound like her success has made her life easy. It was all easy. What if instead we said, I know this didn't happen overnight. Because chances are it didn't. I remember how long you've been working towards this, right? Tell me what it took to reach this moment because I know it was hard. I know I'm still working on it. That kind of celebration does more than notice the achievement. It honors the woman who had to become capable of carrying it. Speaker 1 (15:57) Sometimes there's wars behind the success that we didn't see. Perhaps an illness, perhaps financial restraint. Sometimes I'm serious, guys. Sleeping on mattresses, no water, no power for a few days, hopefully praying it's only a few days. I hear these stories all the time. Speaker 1 (16:29) And when they share the story in the interview, you remember them. You kind of remember these people that you looked up to and you saw them showing up with smiles. You never would have known what was going on behind the curtain. Never. Perhaps their family knew and perhaps they didn't even help. Perhaps their friends knew and they didn't even help. But perhaps they kept going and they didn't give up. Sometimes another woman's success touches the part of us that is still waiting. So many times, right, it's harmless when others come and they say certain things