we think it's weird how normal being miserable in a relationship is – ep. 173

Emotionally Online

In this emotionally charged episode of 'Emotionally Online,' hosts Maddie Drossbeck and Meg Ruoco explore the romanticization of misery in rela

Key takeaways

• Romance is not found in enduring misery but in the active choice to love and let go when needed.
• Macklemore's decision to stand by his values—even at financial cost—demonstrates rare integrity for a celebrity.

Main topics

• Romanticizing misery in relationships
• Macklemore's political integrity and public stance

Notable quotes

"The idea of having to stay and commit to someone forever even when you're miserable is not romantic to me."

"To love each other enough to let go of each other" – redefining romantic commitment.

Conclusion

True love and self-worth aren't found in enduring pain or waiting for

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:00) The idea of having to stay and commit to someone forever even when you're miserable is not romantic to me. What is more romantic to me is the idea that you could love someone so completely that you would allow them to change. Yeah. That's romantic to me. That's Speaker 2 (0:19) what love is. Yes. Speaker 3 (0:20) Is like being with someone and understanding that like There's nothing you can do to predict the future. You're choosing to be with each other now in this moment. And that's the meaningful thing. And if and when it changes in the future, you will love each other enough to let go of each other. Speaker 2 (0:38) Yeah. Speaker 3 (0:38) That's the romantic thing. Speaker 2 (0:39) Or to choose them in their changing. Yeah. You know. But it's like it has to Speaker 3 (0:44) be an active choice. And if you can't Speaker 2 (0:47) actively Speaker 3 (0:47) make that choice anymore, you gotta break up. Yeah. Speaker 3 (0:57) party tonight and you're obviously invited so call me back okay love you Speaker 3 (1:09) What's up you guys and welcome back to Emotionally Online, the weekly slurping party for heart-to-hearts and hot gossip hosted by yours truly, the one and only Maddie Drossbeck, co-hosted, you know her, you love her, it's my Speaker 2 (1:22) bestie Meg Ruoco. I don't mean to be verbose, but I'm the co-host. There's a dictionary Speaker 3 (1:28) of words happening on this podcast and I love every second of it. Speaker 2 (1:33) And I wing it every single time. No rhyme zone here, folks. No, no power thesaurus Speaker 3 (1:39) in this part of the woods. This is what happens when you have a writer for your co-host people. Speaker 2 (1:45) Just Speaker 3 (1:46) a wealth of knowledge up there. Speaker 2 (1:48) I'm searching through the Wuthering Heights that's in my brain and I'm looking up those words and I'm saying, oh, next time. Speaker 3 (1:55) Next time we're Speaker 2 (1:56) recording the pod. Speaker 3 (1:57) Smart person of the day alert. I actually have a shout out. To Speaker 2 (2:00) me? Speaker 3 (2:00) You're on there. You're on the list for sure. Who I was going to shout out was Macklemore, who's Speaker 2 (2:06) having an incredible day. Yes. He Speaker 3 (2:09) is doing things that celebrities don't normally do. And I think it's truly remarkable. Yes. I saw it. So to catch you guys up, for those that are unaware with Macklemore's swag, his swagging that's happening. Speaker 2 (2:23) But Speaker 3 (2:24) he... has been opening for Ed Sheeran on tour. I guess it like just started. He did two shows. Yes. And he was removed from the tour after the backlash with pink complaining about him saying free Palestine and just all the media circus that came from that. He was then removed from the tour because I guess they're going to Gillette stadium in like a week. And Robert Kraft, who is the owner of Gillette, um, was basically like, We are not going to have you perform here if you have Macklemore opening for you. Absurd. And so Macklemore was removed from the tour. Ed Sheeran did not defend him. And Macklemore took to Instagram to talk about all of this and just like so point blank tell people what happened, how he handled it and what his thoughts on it are. And it was so eloquent and to the point. And I was Speaker 2 (3:19) like, Speaker 3 (3:20) damn. Speaker 2 (3:21) I didn't know Macklemore had it like that. You know what? We gave him shit when he made Same Love. We all gave him shit for that. I support it. All the Speaker 3 (3:32) time. I'm Speaker 2 (3:35) like, play Speaker 3 (3:35) it back. And that Speaker 2 (3:36) can't change. We gave him shit for that when that came out. But you know what? He has been 10 toes down standing on business since day one. Good for him. Yeah. Speaker 3 (3:51) Sorry we made fun of your music, bro. Yeah, sorry we made fun of Same Love. Like, true, we were always behind the message of Same Love. Right. Speaker 2 (3:58) The delivery was a little goofy. The delivery was kind of crazy. But we take it back now. Yeah. We Speaker 3 (4:03) love Speaker 2 (4:03) Same Love. I'll make it my freaking alarm. Like the ceiling can't hold us. Speaker 2 (4:11) I also maintain, I mean, like, Downtown is an amazing Macklemore song. I don't even think I know that one. Oh, it's far and away Speaker 3 (4:19) his Speaker 2 (4:19) best. Speaker 3 (4:19) Would I know it Speaker 2 (4:20) if I heard it? Speaker 3 (4:22) Do you know? Downtown! Downtown! No. Definitively? No. I think I know literally three Macklemore songs. Okay, Speaker 2 (4:33) I'll play you Downtown after this. I think you're Speaker 3 (4:35) actually Speaker 2 (4:36) going to really love it. Speaker 3 (4:36) Suddenly, I come out a huge Macklemore fan. I'm like, front row of his concert next year. Speaker 2 (4:42) I'm like, yeah! Macklemore! This is like the inverse of what happens a lot where it's like you're getting into an artist actually because of their politics. Totally. Like it's a lot of the time it's being like, okay, I love this person, but turns out they are like pro-Israel. Totally. Gotta kind of cut it. This guy, it's like. Okay, not the biggest fan of his music. Right. But I'm loving what he's standing for. Speaker 3 (5:06) Totally. Speaker 2 (5:06) Yeah. And Speaker 3 (5:07) it's so rare to see a person Speaker 2 (5:10) with the level of fame that he's at. Yes. Like Speaker 3 (5:13) opening for Speaker 2 (5:13) Ed Sheeran. Yeah. Decide that morals Speaker 3 (5:17) and values are more important than money. I agree. Which Ed Sheeran clearly didn't Speaker 2 (5:22) stand on. What did he say about... his feelings towards ed sheeran as a result of this so Speaker 3 (5:29) he said that they have been friends for like 13 years yeah and so they've had like a lot of hard conversations as friends over the last couple weeks because ed is someone who's remained pretty apolitical throughout his career yeah and it was clear that he wanted to remain that way and macklemore was like yeah we had hard conversations that ultimately continued to end in disagreement. Ed wants to stay apolitical. And to me, in my eyes, like choosing to remain apolitical is still making a choice and taking a stance. Like there's no way around that. Speaker 2 (6:06) And Speaker 3 (6:06) yeah, Ed had the opportunity to be like, if Macklemore can't perform, then fuck it. I'm not performing either. And take all Speaker 2 (6:14) the money with him. Speaker 3 (6:15) Right. But he chose not to. Speaker 2 (6:17) That's embarrassing for Ed Sheeran. It's very Speaker 3 (6:19) embarrassing for Ed Speaker 1 (6:20) Sheeran. Speaker 2 (6:21) Especially because Ed Sheeran's music, also not very good. You know what? You might as well stand for something if you're not making good stuff. It Speaker 3 (6:27) went so in the tubes. Speaker 2 (6:29) Yep. Yep. Ed. Ed. Come on, Ed. What are we doing? You know what? And I was about to say, it's also crazy that he's taking an apolitical stance because he's Irish. He's not. He's British. Speaker 3 (6:39) You just assumed because he was a redhead. Yeah. Makes more Speaker 2 (6:42) sense that he's taking an apolitical stance as a Brit. But Speaker 3 (6:46) shout out Malcolm Moore. Speaker 2 (6:47) Yeah. Shouts out to you. I'm Speaker 3 (6:50) going Speaker 2 (6:50) to play Downtown Tonight in your honor. You should have been paying more attention to your swag. Yeah. Now we know. Well, he did. There's a song that he wrote that has swag in it. Speaker 3 (7:01) Is it? Thrift Shop? Speaker 2 (7:02) Yeah, yeah, yeah. What, what, what, what. Speaker 3 (7:05) Ba Speaker 2 (7:06) -da, Speaker 3 (7:06) ba-da, ba-da-da-da. What, what, what, what, what. Speaker 3 (7:15) Listen, I'm familiar. Yeah, Speaker 2 (7:16) no, come on. We all know the ancient texts. Where were you in 2013? We were all wearing fur coats and shit. No, literally. I'm pretty sure, though, that when I thought when that song came out, I thought it was cool. Oh, Speaker 3 (7:29) I liked Speaker 2 (7:30) Thrift Shop for sure. Same love. I'm pretty sure. I mean, I'm outing myself here, but like, I'm pretty sure that when it first came out, I was like, wait, this is beautiful. Speaker 2 (7:40) But it turned into a meme so quickly. So quickly. I don't know if I ever told you this, but one of our friends did do Same Love at karaoke once in a relatively empty bar. Speaker 3 (7:53) That's awesome. And Speaker 2 (7:54) what you'll realize about Same Love when someone's doing it for karaoke is that that song is five minutes long. Oh. It is so Speaker 3 (8:02) long. I did remember it to be pretty long. It is Speaker 2 (8:04) so long. Speaker 3 (8:07) Everyone should be doing this at karaoke in his honor, though. And it was her Speaker 2 (8:11) walking around like a very empty bar being like, damn right, I support it. Speaker 3 (8:19) That's pretty awesome. Speaker 2 (8:21) So, you know, Macklemore, you've got stands. You've got stands. You've got fans. You're Speaker 3 (8:25) building more as we speak. Another thing I saw on the internet this week that I've been thinking about a lot was I saw an influencer, which I have so many thoughts about this beyond the main one I'm going to express. But I saw an influencer post a video. It was like, imagine you're at dinner with this influencer. Okay. Speaker 2 (8:47) I'm imagining it. Speaker 3 (8:48) So it's like a two-person table. They're being recorded by the person across from them while they are... either actively crying or pretending to cry. Oh. And the camera pans over to the table next to them where there's an old man eating by himself. Oh. And this influencer is just crying because there's an old man having a nice dinner alone. Speaker 2 (9:10) I hate that shit. Speaker 3 (9:11) Number one, before I even say what I'm about to say, like recording strangers in public is weird. Yeah, Speaker 2 (9:17) it's super fucked up. It's really bizarre. Speaker 3 (9:19) Don't do it. Yeah. You're contributing Speaker 2 (9:21) to a surveillance state. Speaker 3 (9:22) But second of all, I can't stand when people say that seeing old people eat alone makes them feel sad. Speaker 2 (9:29) Me too. I actually think that's like so rude and condescending and Speaker 3 (9:35) just like not accurate to how solitude makes people feel all the time. Right. Some people don't like being alone, but fuck it. When I'm out to dinner by myself, I'm like, oh, this is awesome. nobody Speaker 2 (9:50) here to fucking bother me Speaker 3 (9:52) yes Speaker 2 (9:52) i don't get it either and it's like i feel like people see like old people eating alone and they're like they're eating alone because all their friends are dead it's Speaker 3 (10:02) like Speaker 2 (10:02) guys it's like no please no like that's not true you're like projecting a narrative onto them that doesn't exist they're Speaker 3 (10:10) just eating food If anything, you should be able to look at an old person like continuing to go out and make plans with themselves and live a full life as being an awesome thing. Right. Because there's so many old people that just sit at home all day. Right. Don't you think it's awesome? Speaker 2 (10:25) I've also never understood the whole like. seeing an old person makes me really sad when they're eating alone go talk to them then Speaker 3 (10:34) you're recording yourself crying at the Speaker 2 (10:38) table next to them you're so upset that you're crying 12 inches away from this person you won't even turn to them and say hey how's it going like if you're that upset about it engage in conversation with them it's just like such projection it is like you have no idea how this person feels about having dinner by themselves and like false empathy too it's like it's bizarre it feels very performative and strange and it's also like to me also leans into this whole of people being like afraid to get older because it's like, oh, it's so sad and it's so horrible and blah, blah, blah. It's like that person's life is probably awesome. Right. Or maybe it's not, but who cares? Why are you like projecting? It's Speaker 3 (11:21) not your Speaker 2 (11:21) business. Right. It's like, why are you projecting something onto them that doesn't exist? Speaker 3 (11:25) Right. It makes me think of like people's aversion to singlehood. Mm-hmm. The broken record talking about this 24-7 for the rest of my life and trust that it will be the rest of my goddamn life. But I think about I saw a tweet or a thread the other day where someone was saying how like they dream of a world and they feel like we're seeing it move in that direction where ending up single is someone's plan A and not their plan Speaker 2 (11:51) B. And I saw that tweet and I was like, no, actually. Like I think that's such a beautiful world to Speaker 3 (11:57) imagine because like so often when we're. younger and growing up, we do, we're taught to see marriage and a partnership with one person as being like the ultimate fulfillment in life, starting a family, doing the whole thing. And I remember, you know, being younger and looking at older people in my life that were single and wondering if they were like so devastated that they were alone. Speaker 2 (12:23) Yeah. And Speaker 3 (12:24) like this fear that was instilled in me as a young girl and now getting older. and looking at like the older women in my life that are single, they are far and away the like smartest, happiest people that I know. Yes, undoubtedly. I'm like, actually, the older that I get, the more I'm like, no, they have it Speaker 2 (12:45) figured out. Literally. We were Speaker 3 (12:48) all lied to. Everyone's like, the goal is marriage with a man and children. No, bitch. I actually think that. being single should be plan a for a lot of us i agree and it it truly might be mine at this point Speaker 2 (13:02) yeah yeah well it's like i i say this all the time but it's like unless someone's coming into my life and they are like spectacular spectacular so additive to my life i couldn't care less right Speaker 3 (13:16) but like knowing this this is what pisses me off where i'm like imagining myself as like an old person if I've like chosen to be single and I'm like this is what makes me happiest this is my plan a to see like a young person secretly recording me at the table next to me crying because they're sad that I'm alone when I'm like bitch this was plan a i think i'd swing this is what i wanted yeah and you're crying because what right because you're so insecure that you couldn't imagine doing what i'm Speaker 2 (13:45) doing shut up right that's also it it's like guys you're so um afraid of just like existing by yourself that you can't even fathom a world where you would like go to a lunch by yourself that is the weird thing that's so weird that's really weird Go have lunch by yourself. Relax. Stop crying about it. Speaker 3 (14:07) It's just, yeah. It's weird on so many levels. Weird Speaker 2 (14:10) on so many levels. Yeah. That whole shit just pisses me off. Cause it's like. Speaker 2 (14:17) Bro, you have the ability to like change the thing that's making you sad. Again, like if you're so upset about this, engage in conversation then. No, you're just going to record them. Yeah. And post it online Speaker 3 (14:31) to pretend like you're feeling some like great bout of empathy for this stranger. Yeah. Speaker 2 (14:38) For like likes. Ew. That's the sad thing. Yeah. You're doing something sad. Speaker 2 (14:47) it's really icky you hate that Speaker 3 (14:49) hating this completely girl hating this completely from top Speaker 2 (14:54) to bottom i met them the other day Speaker 3 (14:57) really yeah