mogged during couples therapy and the bond of a coke nose job | pumpcast szn 3 ep. 8

Emotionally Online

The Pumpcast explores a surprising encounter with Tom Schwartz in Charlotte, North Carolina, where he confirms he listens to the podcast and enjoys

Key takeaways

• Tom Schwartz publicly acknowledges and enjoys being mocked by the Pumpcast, highlighting the podcast's cultural impact on the Vanderpump cast.
• The hosts emphasize their role as 'eyes and ears' for the community, relying on fan DMs to uncover real-life interactions with cast members.

Main topics

• Tom Schwartz's surprise appearance in Charlotte
• Fan interactions with Vanderpump cast members

Notable quotes

'When the cat's away, the mice will play, but the cat is back and playtime's over.'

'Tom Schwartz said that he loves our TikTok clips and he loves when we make fun of him.'

Conclusion

The episode closes on a note of calm and confidence, affirming the Pumpcast's growing

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) And Lisa in her confessional is like, I know that when the cat's away, the mice will play, but the cat is back and playtime's over and the mice can no Speaker 1 (0:10) longer play. Speaker 2 (0:12) The Speaker 1 (0:12) metaphor goes on. She loves it. She's like that. Speaker 1 (0:23) And the cats are here and the mice are here, baby. And when they leave, then they got to go away. And when the Speaker 2 (0:32) cats are away, the mice bring out their little suitcases. But they open the suitcases and what's in them? Not business. It's Coke. They do a bunch of Coke. But then the cat Speaker 1 (0:42) comes back and she scratches her claws. Speaker 2 (0:44) And then she takes over the restaurant again. And then I win everything. Yeah, baby. Speaker 1 (0:50) Yeah, baby. Speaker 1 (0:55) And don't you forget it. You're a what with a mustache? Speaker 2 (0:57) I take sketch comics very seriously. Speaker 1 (1:00) The floor is there. I'm not sure what I've done to you, but I'll take a peanut for each of you. The only thing I have holding me back is that I have self-respect and dignity. Speaker 2 (1:09) I'm Cass. Speaker 1 (1:12) What's up you guys and welcome back to the Pumpcast. I'm Maddie Drozdbeck. And I'm Meg Ruoco. And we received an insane piece of news to our DMs this week. I've been riding this high. Speaker 2 (1:24) I love when you guys do boots on the ground research for us. It's so important because we can't be everywhere all at once. No, you guys are our eyes and Speaker 1 (1:32) our ears. And Speaker 2 (1:33) if Speaker 1 (1:33) you run into any members of the cast of Vanderpump, it's on you to spread the word of the Pumpcast gospel. Bowl. I'm doing my part. Someone DM'd the Pumpcast Instagram account to alert us that they ran into Tom Schwartz at a bar in Charlotte, North Carolina. Which, why was he there? Why was Tom Schwartz there? I don't know. We may never know. Yep. Apparently he's on a tour of some sort. Oh, good for him. Doing what? We don't know. That's none of my business. It's just like what he calls going on vacation. Speaker 2 (2:08) He's like, I'm on a tour. Speaker 1 (2:10) He's like, last on tour, babes. We're going to Charlotte, North Carolina. So we get this DM that Tom Schwartz has been cited at a bar in North Carolina, wherever the hell it is. And this beautiful, gorgeous, loyal pumper asked Tom Schwartz if he listens to the Pumpcast and what his thoughts are. Speaker 1 (2:34) You're all waiting with bated breath to hear what the answer was. Tom Schwartz said that he loves our TikTok clips and he loves when we make fun of him. Yeah. Speaker 1 (2:49) Well, listen, Tommy boy, there's no shortage of that. Speaker 2 (2:53) Tommy, we got a surplus of making fun of you over here. Come on, Tommy. He really Speaker 1 (2:58) did follow the account and then we started going ten times harder on him. That's what's so crazy is the timing Speaker 2 (3:04) of Speaker 1 (3:05) it all is so funny. Like, fuck, you're here. We're about to bully the fuck out of you for the next eight weeks, brother. For a long Speaker 2 (3:10) time. Speaker 1 (3:12) For such a long time. Welcome. Welcome, Sammy. We're so excited to hear that you love when we bully you. But the fact that the idea of the Pumpcast is being brought to him on the streets where they're like, do you listen to the Pumpcast, Tom? Speaker 2 (3:26) Do you Speaker 1 (3:26) listen to that? Speaker 2 (3:27) Tom Schwartz, do you listen to the Pumpcast? Thoughts on the Pumpcast, Tom? The people want to know. Speaker 2 (3:35) This is fucking incredible. No, it's hilarious because especially to like, I like our, our podcast is growing and we love each of our pumpers individually and equally. So, so big. And I still think of this as a very small podcast. Totally. So like the Speaker 1 (3:54) concept of someone coming up to Tom Schwartz and being like, and what do you think about the podcast? Have you heard what they said about you? Have you heard? He's like, I loved it. What do you think? Speaker 1 (4:06) I love when they make fun of me. I love when they make fun of me. We know, Tom. Yeah, we know, you pervert. God, what a discovery that was. Speaker 2 (4:18) I can't wait to meet him in real life. I know it's Speaker 1 (4:22) coming. At some point, someday, our paths will collide with Tom Schwartz. Yeah, Speaker 2 (4:27) it's just such an epic DM to receive. Keep them coming. Anytime any of you guys have a VPR sighting, let us know. Speaker 1 (4:35) Anytime you have information to give us, no matter how big or small, we want to hear it. Yeah, we're hounds for the stuff. And we're in those DMs, baby. Speaker 2 (4:44) So we're reading what you're sending us for sure. Give us the goss and spread the good word of the pump cast. We're nosy. Speaker 1 (4:53) And if you'd like to support the show, reminder that we do have a Patreon now. Yes, Speaker 2 (4:59) we do. The Pumptrion. Yeah. Speaker 1 (5:00) Of which there's now three episodes. Today, we deep dived into Tom Schwartz and Jax Taylor's appearance on the Jerry Springer show called Baggage. Sure. So. There's that. Find out if they win. If they have good or bad baggage. Right. Speaker 2 (5:20) Find out what that baggage is. It's a dating show. On Jerry Springer. That they were on. It's honestly a show that I do think should exist again. Yeah. Speaker 1 (5:28) This was pre-Vanderpump, by the way. Yeah. So if you're interested in that, that's what we did over at the Palm Tree on this week. And thank you guys so much for selling out the Italy trip. Yeah, Speaker 2 (5:37) we're stoked. Speaker 1 (5:38) We're going to have so much freaking fun. It's Speaker 2 (5:40) going Speaker 1 (5:41) to be amazing. We cannot wait. Speaker 2 (5:42) Maybe Speaker 1 (5:42) Tom Schwartz will be there. I don't know. Maybe Tom Schwartz signed up. Tom Schwartz signed up for the Elite Trip. He's like, oh, Sardinia with the Pumpcast girls? Fuck yeah, dude. Speaker 2 (5:54) Wait, Speaker 1 (5:55) did you say there's going to be a cooking class? I'm there. Dude, that sounds freaking awesome. That sounds so fun. Do you promise to bully me while we're there? I'll put Speaker 2 (6:04) the shock collar on before I even get on the plane. Speaker 1 (6:12) Let's Speaker 2 (6:12) freaking boof. Okay, boof. Lisa is pulling up to Villa Blanca on Rodeo Drive, mama. And she walks in and she is immediately talking to Matthew, the head chef at Villa Blanca. She's testing the menu. She's saying, this is what works. This is what stays. This is what goes. Because she's been kind of dropping the ball. at Villa Blanca and Sir because of Pump these days. Speaker 1 (6:38) All her focus has been on the gay restaurant and not the straight restaurant or the cheating restaurant. Which Speaker 2 (6:44) is unfortunate because as you know, you have to triangulate all these restaurants in order to have success in LA. And as she's like wrapping up with Matthew, she's like, all right, that sounds good. Menu, amazing. I'm here now. Everybody, shape up. She leaves Matthew and immediately runs smack dab into Jax, who's just sitting at the bar. Just happens Speaker 1 (7:06) to be sitting at the Villa Blanca bar, which the interior of Villa Blanca just does not look like a place that Jax Taylor would ever hang out in. Speaker 2 (7:14) No, he doesn't belong there. And he's like, oh, it was just in the neighborhood. Speaker 1 (7:19) He's like, I was here for a nose thing just a couple blocks away, and I've got the employee discount, so here I am. It's like, no, you Speaker 2 (7:27) weren't. You weren't in the neighborhood. Shut up, Jax. Speaker 1 (7:30) And Lisa Speaker 2 (7:31) once again mentions how she's so busy with Pump, but don't worry because she's coming back to Sir and she is shaping that staff up. And Jax ultimately just wants to say a slur again because Pump is mentioned. And then he's like, um, and okay, changing topics really quickly. Uh, how about that girl Vale? Speaker 1 (7:50) Yeah, Speaker 2 (7:50) how Speaker 1 (7:50) about that hot, hot, sexy girl Vale? Can we talk about her, Lisa? She's nice. And Lisa's like, leave her alone. Stay away from her. Get a job. Whatever you do, do not speak to Vale, Jax. And Jax is Speaker 2 (8:04) like, what? I'm not Speaker 1 (8:05) doing nothing. I wasn't even going to try to hang out with her or do anything. And Speaker 2 (8:09) Lisa's like, Speaker 1 (8:09) put a sock in it. I see right through you, you evil, evil demon man. And he's Speaker 2 (8:14) like, what? Like, I'm just thinking. You are a monster. Get away from her. He's like, I'm not doing Speaker 1 (8:22) nothing. Speaker 2 (8:26) Boof! We're at a beer garden. Berlin Currywurst. Well, Speaker 1 (8:31) thank God we know. And thank God. Speaker 1 (8:37) here you guys where james kristin shay and sheena are all hanging out okay they all say hi hi oh Speaker 2 (8:47) hey okay Speaker 1 (8:48) sheena and shay then go off to get drinks and james and kristin are left to their own gossiping devices at the table which is one of their favorite things james is basically like okay we have to get on the same page about this whole Miami thing. Either they want us there or they don't want us there. And we as the audience are like, what are Speaker 2 (9:07) they Speaker 1 (9:07) talking about? Speaker 2 (9:08) What could possibly be going on? So Speaker 1 (9:11) Sheena and Shay are doing a joint bachelor bachelorette party and James and Kristen were invited, but then got sort of uninvited when they all fought at Sheena's birthday. And now Speaker 2 (9:24) they're like, so are, are we going, are we not going? Like, are we invited? Are we not? What's the tea? And it's so funny because in a talking head, Kristen's like, yeah, we were like uninvited, which makes no sense. And then it like cuts to her like beating the shit out of everybody at Sheena's birthday party. Speaker 1 (9:42) Just absolutely molly whopping Tom Sandoval and Sheena crying and shitting her pants over the shard of glass in her foot. Speaker 2 (9:50) And Sheena and Shay return to the table and they sit down and Kristen brings up the topic of the track. that Sheena and James are working on. Because James... Speaker 2 (10:06) For those who are listening, Maddie's beautiful cat, Teddy, is such a gorgeous little man who's currently being a monster to us. Speaker 1 (10:13) Sometimes he just decides he needs to give a TED Talk that lasts 18 hours. And he might be destroying Sir Alley. He's a diva. And he's destroying Sir Alley. Speaker 2 (10:24) He's Speaker 1 (10:24) starting fights in Sir Alley, which is honestly Speaker 2 (10:26) appropriate. Yeah, honestly. Given Speaker 1 (10:28) the circumstances. We've hired him. He's the character actor. Exactly. Today he's playing... Jax Taylor. Yeah. Speaker 2 (10:34) So if you hear meows in the background or hear us at Speaker 1 (10:37) any point go, Speaker 2 (10:38) and then what sounds like paper rumpling, it's because we're grabbing the blue screens, AKA Sir Ali, that he might be knocking over. So Kristen asks how the track is coming along that Sheena and James are producing because James is a producer bruv. And he is like, it's absolutely smashing in it. It's going amazing. It's going. Awesome. Everything's being incredible. Off Speaker 1 (11:04) the charts, Speaker 2 (11:04) babe. Speaker 1 (11:05) You wouldn't even believe it. All he goes, Austin Powers. Smashing, darling. Speaker 2 (11:33) And James. Speaker 2 (11:37) James in a talking head is like, yeah, you know, I'm going to help Sheena and Shay make this because I can make a beat in a day and not do a completely horrible job like his last producers did. Yeah, Speaker 1 (11:50) her old songs were shit from my butt. It was bad and everyone acted like it was good, but it was awful. Speaker 2 (12:01) Because we're gold as gold. Cut to us like seven weeks ago fully painted in gold. Speaker 1 (12:08) We're like, what? We thought it was good. We Speaker 2 (12:12) liked it. We liked it, all right. And Sheena is like. yeah i would love to record lay down some vocals from for this track probably like before miami and james is like oh yeah like what's up with that by the way yeah what's the plan now bye we going we not going and sheena's like dude i don't know it's crazy which Speaker 1 (12:35) is hilarious because like sheena it's your party sheena and shay are both being so passive about this as if it's not like entirely up to them it is wholly up to that. They're like, yeah, what is happening with that? That's so weird. Well, that's crazy because you're the one who makes the call on that. So if you don't know who does. It's your trip, no? Certainly it's your trip. And James is like, look, I don't want to make this a big deal because, you know, all of us, us four, we're gonna be besties long past miami it's friends for life with the four of us and sheena's like yeah you know i think my issue is just that i don't want you to be uncomfortable and i think that both of you will probably feel pretty weird and kristen's like oh that's totally fine you can just ignore everyone else and hang out with me yeah it'll just be us yeah it's against the world right and then sheena's in her confessional like i want kristen to understand like if nobody wants me there maybe i shouldn't go but That's just not how Kristen's mind works, which is, again, the most passive way she could possibly handle this. So passive. Speaker 2 (13:41) It's like, Speaker 1 (13:41) really, Sheena sometimes suffers from the same indecision that Schwartz suffers from. Totally. Just in different ways. Speaker 2 (13:48) Yeah. Oh, she completely does. Like, I think that she is so, like, her kryptonite is just wanting everyone to be her friend. So even when she's, like, actively mad at somebody, she's still like, what? no, yeah, it's crazy. What if, what if you guys showed up or maybe what if you didn't? I don't know. Who's in charge of that anyway? Yeah. That's crazy. And. Speaker 2 (14:14) James kind of they're getting towards like the end of this conversation where it's like yeah I don't know I'm not really sure who's gonna go or if you guys are gonna go and James is like well you know at the end of the day it's your decision you know you guys make the call and then there's like a pause and then he turns to Kristen he goes so we go into that and she goes yeah and he's like all right so we're going Speaker 1 (14:38) So they just announced that they're going. Yep. And Sheena's in her confessional like, you know, I actually don't remember saying yes, but it's actually just easier if I go along with this. I feel no sympathy here. You had every opportunity to say no and you didn't. Yeah, they fully Speaker 2 (14:53) brought it up. Actually, Sheena brought it up. She said, I Speaker 1 (14:56) would Speaker 2 (14:56) love to lay down a track before Miami. If you Speaker 1 (14:59) don't want these people to go, don't bring it up in front of them. Yeah, because Speaker 2 (15:02) you know that James and Kristen have no social awareness at all. Speaker 1 (15:06) And they're going to be like, so we're going to go to that, right? Oh, so you want us there because you just brought it up in front of us. Speaker 2 (15:12) obviously duh and she says nothing literally that entire scene until the end where he says cheers to miami we're gonna get fucked up Speaker 1 (15:20) My God, Shay. God, Speaker 2 (15:21) Shay. It's really hard. It's really bleak. It's really dark. Speaker 1 (15:26) Okay, so Boof. Over Speaker 2 (15:27) to Sadie, another restaurant where Vale Danny, right? I always want to call her Dina, but it's not Dina. Yeah, it's Danny. Danny. Stassi, Katie, and Christina Kelly are there for dinner. Stassi in a talking head is like acknowledging that this is a weird group of people to all be gathering for dinner. And she's like, listen. When a new girl shows up at Sir, I gotta