#581 - Unofficial Bumbags, Anti-Cunning Disease and Susie Dent
Elis James and John Robins
Hosts Ellis James and John Robins open with a public apology for a geographical mix-up regarding George Weah before pivoting to listener-driven rapid-fire questions about treehouses, Disney fandom, and the
Key takeaways
- Ellis James apologizes for mistakenly calling George Weah 'Libya's best player ever' instead of Liberia's, blaming cognitive decline after a night out.
- John Robins shares an emotional visit to Montreux's Mountain Studios, where Freddie Mercury recorded his final vocals, and reveals he owns a vintage T-shirt from the studio auctioned off by Mercury's estate.
Main topics
- T-shirt collections & listener interactions
- Treehouses & childhood nostalgia
Notable quotes
"I am the Pied Piper of the terraces."
Conclusion
The episode blends self-deprecating humor, nostalgic pop culture refle
Transcript preview
Speaker 4 (0:00) Before we start this episode, we want to invite you along to the adventures of Ellis and John. If Speaker 2 (0:04) you head over to patreon.com slash Ellis and John, you can join us on our monthly escapades, including... Mini Olympics. It's the strangest legal jump in the history of long jump. Bird Speaker 4 (0:15) watching. My two favourite things are birds and football. Retaking our driving tests. Speaker 2 (0:20) I am chock full of adrenaline. Yeah, me too. It's absolutely horrible. And you can watch our latest episode now. The Pottery Challenge. I should warn you, pottery makes me horny. We shouldn't have worn those lights short. Speaker 4 (0:33) So, for adventures and so much more, head over to patreon.com slash ellisonjohn now. Speaker 4 (0:56) Hello, listeners. I'm trying my best. Speaker 4 (1:01) But I owe John and I owe you an apology. First things first, and there's no way of sugarcoating this, I want to let you all know that I'm the kind of person who knows where Liberia is. My reason for saying this is that last week in what I can only describe as my Clapham Common, my moment of madness, I said that 1995 Ballon d'Or and World Player of the Year, George Weah was Libya's best player ever. When, of course, he played for and eventually became president of Liberia. These are basic, basic fundamental facts and I may as well have said that Shane Warne played cricket for Austria. I am better than this and I can only blame this error on my alarming cognitive decline and the profound regret I feel for allowing Izzy to show the nation my lucky pants on Taskmaster. But I also owe John an apology. Last week I poured scorn on John's latest idea of asking listeners how many t-shirts they own. Quite frankly, as a feature, I thought it was weak and weird. And I felt validated when Ed Gamble texted me to say he was listening and now regarded our show as a modern art project that plays with the line of what is accepted to be boring. Before amazingly admitting that he and Matthew had done the same thing on Radio X in a feature called My Goodness, My Trousers. If anything, I felt smug. especially due to Ed's response, until... Speaker 4 (2:28) strangers started coming up to me on public transport to tell me how many t-shirts they owned. I saw my friend Andy from Swansea, who said, I don't know what he's talking about, but Nick, my next door neighbour, asked me to pass on to you that he owns 200 t-shirts. Speaker 2 (2:41) What? Wow. That's too many. 200 t Speaker 4 (2:45) -shirts. That's something special. When I explained, he said, oh, I've not listened to the pod for a few months. Is that what the show is now? And I had to concede that, yes, it probably is. The main thing I don't understand is how John can simultaneously be a man of and hate to be around the people. I have spent my life crying at Oasis documentaries and trying to understand the magic of communal events to connect with people. and yet I just can't make the switchboards light up like him. And so, in my bid to create a water cooler moment, I submit the following three questions for Rapid Response Unit One Word Answers. Number one, have you ever been impressed by a treehouse? Speaker 4 (3:28) Number two, should adults who like Disney be put in jail? Okay, these are just yes Speaker 2 (3:32) or no questions. Well, Speaker 4 (3:33) that's a good response to you, Nick, isn't it? No. That's not a Speaker 2 (3:37) water cooler moment, is it? Speaker 4 (3:39) Yeah, because people will come up to me and say, I have Speaker 2 (3:41) been impressed by your treehouse. But then the conversation ends. Yeah, well, it ended when I got told that Nick had 200 T-shirts. I went, is he? No, but you might go, what type of T-shirts? Are they sentimental? Do you collect them? Tell me about your treehouse. Speaker 3 (3:56) Ha ha ha! Go on, watch the third. Is death really the end? Another Speaker 4 (4:01) yes or no question. Speaker 2 (4:02) And Speaker 4 (4:02) I say, well, what do you think happens then? Speaker 2 (4:09) Have I ever been impressed by a treehouse? Probably. Speaker 4 (4:12) I haven't. I haven't. What, Speaker 3 (4:13) as a kid? They are Speaker 4 (4:14) always rubbish. As Speaker 3 (4:16) a kid, you were... They are Speaker 4 (4:17) always... It is always the same thing. Oh, you should come round to my house. My dad's built me a treehouse. And you imagine that it's, like, got an en suite. Speaker 3 (4:24) And Speaker 2 (4:25) it's just incredible. And it's got sky. He's just nicked a... wooden pallet from work and wedged it in a tree. And wedged it in a tree or nailed Speaker 4 (4:34) it between two branches. No, my mate Tom. And you get to sit on the pallet. My mate Speaker 3 (4:40) Tom in Woodford had a cracking treehouse in the field in the back of his Speaker 1 (4:44) garden. Speaker 3 (4:44) What Speaker 4 (4:45) do you Speaker 3 (4:45) mean by that? I Speaker 4 (4:46) mean, in the... Did it have a roof? No. Speaker 3 (4:50) Dave. No. Speaker 3 (4:52) But it was big. Did it have layers? It Speaker 2 (4:55) was a Speaker 4 (4:55) big pallet. Speaker 3 (4:56) Yeah, it was a Speaker 4 (4:57) number of pallets. Could you charge your phone on it? No, because phones weren't really even a big thing in 1996. All right, then, could you charge your video on it? Speaker 2 (5:04) Charge your video? Speaker 3 (5:06) What Speaker 2 (5:06) are you, do you have a SNES in it? Speaker 3 (5:09) You could have put a, you could have taken a Game Boy up there, sure. What were you doing up there? The Speaker 2 (5:14) problem is... Hanging out. Why are you going up there in the rain? Speaker 3 (5:17) Now, Speaker 2 (5:17) God knows, no roof on Speaker 3 (5:18) the Speaker 2 (5:18) thing. Thank you, Tim. Well, this is the thing, because a treehouse without a roof might as well just be the tree. Speaker 3 (5:23) Well, no, Speaker 2 (5:24) but then you Speaker 3 (5:24) build into it. I think you've... No, as a kid, treehouses are exciting. Speaker 4 (5:29) You imagine they're so much better than they are. Speaker 3 (5:32) No, it depends how much effort you want to put in. You weren't putting in the effort, Ellis. Do Speaker 2 (5:35) you Speaker 3 (5:35) know what? I wasn't Speaker 2 (5:36) building them. I was a child. That's Speaker 3 (5:38) when Speaker 2 (5:38) you're meant to build them. I get a train past a lot of gardens. Like, it's 25 miles of people's back gardens on the way into London. A lot of treehouses. I've never seen any kids in them. Speaker 4 (5:49) And Speaker 2 (5:50) I can almost hear the dad staring out of Speaker 4 (5:53) the Speaker 2 (5:53) window at it going, took me three weeks. He never bloody uses it. He's on his phone. Speaker 4 (5:58) Have you ever said wow? Speaker 3 (5:59) No, I've never said wow. Speaker 2 (6:02) All right, fine. Disney. So, tree houses. What was the next one? Should adults who like Disney go to prison? No. No, I don't think they should. Speaker 3 (6:12) All right. Because Moana was Disney. Big fan of Moana. What, you are? Absolutely. Speaker 4 (6:18) Okay. And what was the third one? Is death really the end? Speaker 2 (6:22) Well, it's not the end. We're Speaker 4 (6:24) creating water cooler moments. Speaker 3 (6:26) Lila asked me that on Wednesday on the way to athletics. Oh, that's Speaker 4 (6:29) a Speaker 3 (6:29) tough one. What did you say? Well, she asked me if I believed in God. Yeah. And then she asked, do we turn into something after we die? Speaker 2 (6:37) Yeah, I do. And I'm in a ticket queue to go and see him next year. They're doing Nebleth. Speaker 3 (6:43) I have a God and he's on Twitter three times a day. It's Liam Gallagher. I think, yeah, I was quite vague in the old answer. I'm not really sure whether I do. So it's quite hard to then offer a firm opinion on the whole God thing. Speaker 4 (6:56) Kids, when they're between sort of six and ten, they're often fascinated by Speaker 3 (7:03) death. Or she wants to come back as a guinea pig. So the whole kind of, you know. afterlife stuff and incarnation is... Also, Speaker 2 (7:12) they only live for a couple of years, so you get to choose what you come back as after the Speaker 3 (7:15) guinea pig. She then wants to come back as a cat. Speaker 2 (7:17) Oh! She's thought Speaker 3 (7:18) it through. She's thought it through. She's just coming back as the animals that we have at our house. But that's Speaker 2 (7:23) nice. Speaker 3 (7:23) It is. It's Speaker 4 (7:24) very sweet. Maybe a tortoise, one of those big ones that lives for 150 years. I held a tortoise on Saturday at my friend Dan's house. Did you? Speaker 3 (7:30) Tortoises are mad. They're Speaker 2 (7:31) so hard Speaker 3 (7:31) on the bottom Speaker 2 (7:32) and the top. Speaker 3 (7:32) Yeah. I Speaker 2 (7:33) always thought they were soft underneath. My neighbour's one got run over. We think. Or a fox got it. Speaker 4 (7:39) It's Speaker 2 (7:39) weird that we've pivoted from how many t-shirts you've got to is there a god. Speaker 4 (7:43) Yeah. Speaker 2 (7:43) But that's the kind of Speaker 4 (7:44) fleet-footed broadcasting we're capable of. So in your face, Ed Speaker 3 (7:48) Gamble. Speaker 4 (7:48) It was, honestly, people I've never, I've had DMs, I've had people come up to me at football saying I've got 48 t-shirts. I Speaker 3 (7:57) was Speaker 4 (7:57) like, really? Speaker 2 (7:58) I just didn't expect it. Dave, I am the Pied Piper of the terraces. I am setting Britain's conversation in the terraces. It's Speaker 4 (8:09) so Speaker 2 (8:09) annoying. Yeah, because I would hate to be in the terraces. Yeah, yeah. It's like buying me. It Speaker 3 (8:13) would be Speaker 2 (8:13) awful. But I like to know they're chatting about my topics. How Speaker 4 (8:16) can you understand a thing you hate? Speaker 3 (8:19) That's a good Speaker 2 (8:19) question. Speaker 3 (8:20) LBC stands for Leading Britain's Conversation. Maybe that's where you need to be one day. If the money's right. They say you get right wing as you get older. Speaker 3 (8:31) I don't know. James O'Brien's not right, mate. No, and I did his Speaker 2 (8:34) podcast, which is out today, in fact. Is it? I will listen Speaker 3 (8:37) to that on the way home. I love that podcast. What's it about your book? Speaker 2 (8:40) Yes, but we go... Is Speaker 3 (8:41) it Speaker 2 (8:41) a bit boo-hoo heavy? Speaker 3 (8:42) Still Speaker 2 (8:42) banging on about that book. We go in quite heavy on sort of up to my teenage years, and then we have to fast forward to the end because we run out of time. Oh, no. He's a very good interviewer. He's a lovely guy. Yeah. Speaker 4 (8:56) When Speaker 2 (8:56) did Speaker 4 (8:56) you get Speaker 2 (8:56) to Speaker 4 (8:57) the T-shirts? Didn't talk about how many t-shirts I had. Wow. Oh, it was before you came up with your big idea. Yeah. I guess Speaker 2 (9:04) we sort of skirted around whether there's a God, sort of God of your own understanding. Did he remember you from the X days, do you think? The Radio X days? I never expect anyone to remember me from anything, Speaker 4 (9:15) Dave. No, I'm like that. If anyone remembers me, I'm absolutely amazed every single time. Or terrified. Speaker 2 (9:21) Or Speaker 4 (9:21) terrified. Speaker 4 (9:24) So yes, Speaker 2 (9:24) Ellis is now on day 12 of his hangover. Because Speaker 4 (9:28) of the unique way we record this podcast. Speaker 3 (9:30) No, day five. Day five, yeah. It is tricky. Speaker 2 (9:33) Well, he might have had another drink since then. Yeah. But that was a very good introduction. It was. Considering the state you've been in, the absolute mess you've been on off mic. Spilling you water twice. Up and down to the toilet like a yo-yo. There's a problem with my glass. There's a problem with Ellis' glass. They'll tell you what the problem is. It's half empty. Whereas me and Dave's are half full. Yeah, we are actually. Chipper chaps over here. Yes, I've just come back from, have we heard of Domodossola? Have we heard of Italy? Sorry, I don't know any more specific information. No, Speaker 3 (10:07) and Speaker 2 (10:07) yes. Is that it? It's in a valley, but I forgot the name of the valley. It's where four valleys meet. Oh, nice. I've been away eye climbing in the very North Italian Alps. And on the way, I visited Montreux. Did you? Yes, I did. And let me tell you, I was not, well, I knew I was staying in the Freddie Mercury Hotel. What do you mean by that? There's a Freddie Mercury hotel in Montreal. Is anything to do with Speaker 4 (10:35) him? Yes. Because there's a Speaker 2 (10:36) Beatles hotel in Liverpool. There's nothing to do with the Beatles. It's not nothing to do with the Beatles. It's called the Beatles hotel. Yeah, but like, you know, historically. It's Speaker 4 (10:43) just Speaker 2 (10:43) called it. No, Speaker 4 (10:44) no, no. But like Paul McCartney hasn't invested in it. Right. It's a Beatles themed hotel. Speaker 2 (10:49) Yeah. The Freddie Mercury hotel is a Freddie Mercury themed hotel. Oh, okay. So that was the obvious choice for where to stay in Montreal. Is it nice? Speaker 3 (10:57) It was. Yes, I loved Speaker 2 (11:00) it. Speaker 4 (11:02) Where did you stand? In the league table of Queen fans at the Freddie Mercury Hotel. Good cue. Speaker 2 (11:11) Most people there, I think, were just staying in it because it was one of the cheaper hotels in Montreal. Oh, right. Okay. Because it does amaze me that your level Speaker 4 (11:22) of Queen fandom is not unique. Oh, no. Or you're not an outlier. No, no, no. There are some real Queen oddballs out there. Speaker 2 (11:30) Big time. And if I'd thought about it, I didn't even bring any Queen. If you'd walked in in the jacket. I bet that wouldn't be the first time that's happened in the Queen Hotel. Because Freddie Mercury's birthday, people go out there and there's lots of wreaths laid around the statue. Because Montreux, Montreux. I always call it Montreux, but it's not Montreux, but I'm going to have to say Montreux because that's Speaker 3 (11:53) how Speaker 2 (11:53) I spell Speaker 3 (11:53) it. It sounds like you're saying it in like a Yorkshire accent. Montreux. Montreux. Speaker 2 (11:57) Went up Montreux, I tell you what, a good great big Freddie Mercury statue right on water. I'd have used that brass for tackle and for horse bridles if I had my way, but they bloody put a statue up to that Freddie Mercury. Speaker 4 (12:16) Just for the avoidance of doubt. John has a lot of family from Yorkshire, so he's allowed to Speaker 2 (12:21) say. Speaker 4 (12:21) So Speaker 2 (12:21) I knew there was a Freddie Mercury statue there. I knew there was the Queen Studio experience, because what happened was Queen bought Mountain Studios in Montreux, and that's where they recorded a lot of their later albums. Freddie Mercury rented an apartment there, which he was sort of doing up when he died. So I knew there's a big history, and the photo... on the front of Made in Heaven, the final studio album, is of the view over that lake. Oh, is it? So if you get that up, I think it's actually the statue, because I think the statue had been unveiled by Speaker 3 (13:00) then. Oh, so that's not Freddie. That's the statue on Made in Heaven. Speaker 2 (13:03) Let Speaker 3 (13:04) me see. I should know this. I should know this, Dave. I think if you click on the picture, it'll make it bigger. This is too visual for an audio medium. I think Speaker 2 (13:11) that's the view from the apartment he was doing up, and they've maybe superimposed the statue or just a thing. Anyway, I should know that. Could I see Speaker 4 (13:19) the photograph, please? Google made it. Google made it. You Speaker 2 (13:23) want to be Speaker 4 (13:23) in the gang here? That looks like a statue to me. Speaker 2 (13:26) But what I didn't realise is how much Queen merch. and artwork is in Montreux just in general. Just the tone. Like when you go to Naples. Speaker 4 (13:38) And it's all Maradona stuff. It's Maradona stuff. Now, Speaker 2 (13:41) there weren't big, like, fan art on the sides of buildings like in Naples, but every sort of souvenir shop had a queen section with Speaker 3 (13:49) T Speaker 2 (13:50) -shirts I hadn't seen. Oh, no. Unofficial. Speaker 2 (13:54) bum bags, that sort of thing. And like paintings and fan art and all that stuff. So it was a real treat. Also Montreux itself is stunning. Is it? Have you ever been? No. Wowzers, trousers. That's one heck of a view. What was the weather like? Fantastic. Yeah, great weather. But we went to the Mountain Studios experience, which is, it's a casino now, which is... bleaks me out. Yeah. But they have preserved lots of stuff from the recording studio and it's free to get in. Oh, cool. Which is amazing. And they've got loads of handwritten lyrics on loan from the Brian May archive. Really? They've got some original clothing. They've got really well-written sort of guides to the different studio engineers. Imagine if there was an Elis