Q&A: Vernon’s Specs Appeal, Family Fallouts & Self-Acceptance

Dig It with Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball

Hosts Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball address listener questions regarding the physical and emotional transitions of aging, family shifts, and new be

Key takeaways

The transition to wearing glasses can feel like a significant identity crisis or a loss of self-recognition.
Accepting physical aging, such as skin changes or reduced stamina, is a process of gradual resignation and adaptation.
Family dynamics naturally fluctuate; siblings may drift apart during young adulthood only to find common ground later.
Parental anxiety often stems from the desire for control, but 'letting go' is essential as children reach adulthood.
Small garden spaces can be transformed into magical sanctuaries using pots, climbing plants, and creative seating like pallet furniture.

Main topics

Aging and vision changes
Menopause and temperature regulation
Sibling relationships and family friction

Notable quotes

You're only as happy as your unhappiest child.

Conclusion

The episode provides heartfelt encouragement, reminding listeners that

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) Coming up on Dig It. Trust me, there are frictions within every family dynamic and there are fallouts and arguments and that's family. That's people, that's humanity, that's what happens. Speaker 2 (0:10) Really tough going through separation and a new home and new life and it does feel so daunting. But I know from experience and I know from other diggers who have shared that in time, things will be so Speaker 1 (0:24) much better for you. Oh God, I just want to have a bit of fun. Really? Seriously? And I was like, times have changed. I don't like this. Ruin the fun for everyone. All of that right after this. Speaker 1 (0:44) Happy Monday, Diggers. I can't believe Zoe, can you? We are nearly in October, edging ever, ever nearer. Stop it. The autumn and the clock's changing. How is that happening? Oh, I know, I know, I know. I lit my fire Speaker 2 (0:57) on Friday night. It was freezing. Can I just say the house was freezing. The cat looked at me. He sat in front of the fire and just looked at me. I looked at the lodger and it was like, Speaker 1 (1:08) yeah, what the hell? And we lit the fire. Speaker 2 (1:10) And it was lovely. It Speaker 1 (1:12) was lovely. But it's the ambience as well, isn't it? No, I would light a fire any time of day. Oh, I love it. I love the smell and the crackle. It's just so nice. And also, I've had my electric blanket on the whole summer through. There is something about having an electric blanket on a low level. It's just really comforting and really nice for your bones when you're in bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do Speaker 2 (1:32) you Speaker 1 (1:32) have Speaker 2 (1:32) to turn that off in the night? Because my heat in the night is... This is something I'd like to know. Why? does a menopausal woman get so hot at a certain point in the night? Because it's sort of like it comes on, I have to throw everything off and then it's gone again. I just don't understand. But anyway, the idea of a heated blanket would be hell for me because I am just so hot in bed and not in the right ways, Speaker 1 (1:59) sadly. We'll have to lodge you about that. Well, I'm always cold. I'm God, I am never, ever. not cold. So that's why I love my fires and the electric blankets. Yeah, I've never had hot flushes. It's never been a thing. Never. You need Speaker 2 (2:14) me. You need me next to you in bed. You'll be like, oh my God. Speaker 1 (2:18) Let me cuddle you. Let me hold you. Speaker 2 (2:20) Like the Speaker 1 (2:21) crazy, crazy Speaker 2 (2:22) hot blanket. that you definitely don't need. What Speaker 1 (2:25) have we got for digging today? First question is from Stephanie who said, a video popped up on my Instagram the other day and it was Vernon Kaye getting glasses for the first time. And it really resonated with me because I had to get glasses recently too. And looking at myself in the mirror. I felt like I'd reached a real milestone, but I'm not sure how I feel about it or if I recognise the person staring back at me. I wondered how you've handled these moments when your body and your senses aren't quite what they used to be and how you've adjusted to the new, older you. Have you found it as hard as me? This is from a recently bespectacled Stephanie. Speaker 2 (3:00) Welcome to the gang, Stephanie. Speaker 1 (3:02) I've got mine on today. Yeah. Mine are here. It Speaker 2 (3:05) is a moment, Stephanie. It really is when you finally, you can fight it and fight it and think, no. be all right. I'll be all right. And I don't know whether there's something to be said for holding off as long as possible. Speaker 1 (3:16) But Speaker 2 (3:17) I think the good thing with glasses these days is that there are so many cool glasses on the market. And whether that's you going, you know, Qubits or you go in Specsavers or Boots, the chemist, I've got some great glasses from Speaker 1 (3:32) them. Oliver Fairley, Alexis Amor, Vision Express. Eye company, yeah. Speaker 2 (3:37) Yeah. But you're right, Stephanie, there's slightly, there's the image change of suddenly seeing yourself having, if you've never worn glasses, like, who am I? And do these suit me? Because you don't even really know which glasses suit you. But it is very much a moment of acceptance, isn't it, Jo? Speaker 1 (3:54) I just went through a phase, and I probably still am there, of just, I put them on, I take them off, I put them on, I take them off. When I meet people, I apologise for wearing glasses when just doing the shows that we do. And bands would come in or artists would come in that I've known for years and years. And I would feel really embarrassed that I was now having to wear glasses and I'd always make a thing about it and sort of go, oh, I'm not really used to this yet. And I'd fight having to wear them, but then I wouldn't be able to read my questions or anything. So you have to succumb to it in the end and go, all right, I have to wear my glasses or try contact lenses, which I've not managed to use properly. It's just too much faff. So now I'm kind of resigned to wearing glasses and I found a style that fits me, but I really, really would love a refresh. It's hard to know where to go, I think. I mean, you've mentioned lots and lots of different places on the high street, which are fantastic, but you kind of have to go with a friend, I think. You go in there on your own and you try on the glasses and you just cannot tell what you look good in. And you're just looking around the shop going, do you like these? Do I look good in these? What do you think? But really, you need a very good friend or a relative to just... tell you what suits you and what doesn't. But it is definitely a bit of a head fuck. And also, it's something to get used to, just to adjust to the new person that you are. So Stephanie, I totally know what you mean. Speaker 2 (5:11) Yeah. And then it's sort of like the body, like, oh, okay, well, I always have a slightly wonky hip. Will we just be, it's all the different things you're starting to live with. I've, after watching, I watched a clip of our podcast last week and was like, oh my God, my neck and my jowls, this stuff and this stuff. I was like, God, I feel like it wasn't as bad as that, as it was before. And I've really, so I've gone and bought some, what's her name? Trini. I was buying a present for my lovely friend, Em, who wanted the microneedling roller from Trini. And I was in there and I was looking at some extra products and thinking, oh, neck cream. And then there were loads of ladies in the John Lewis going, that neck cream's really good. All these products really work well. And I was like, right, I'll have. And it's great because you can buy mini ones of everything. So you can try them out to see if I have been slathering myself in the neck cream. Can you notice