Owen Wilson

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Conan O'Brien sits down with actor Owen Wilson to explore the unexpected paths that shaped his career, from military school and college expulsion to a legendary creative partnership with

Key takeaways

• Owen Wilson was expelled from college for cheating on his geometry final, prompting his father to hire an ad agency to rewrite his application essay using a quote from Stuart Little.
• Wilson credits military school with indirectly leading him to meet Wes Anderson through a roommate at UT Austin, which launched their decades-long creative collaboration.

Main topics

• Career origins and academic detours
• Creative partnership with Wes Anderson

Notable quotes

"I think it's a long baseball game. You don't know how everything kind of fits together."

Conclusion

The episode offers a reflective yet comedic look at how chance encount

Transcript preview

Speaker 7 (0:02) Hi, my name's Owen Wilson, and I feel... Speaker 7 (0:09) Good about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Speaker 6 (0:11) Okay, this Speaker 7 (0:12) is clearly like a hostage situation. Speaker 3 (0:17) Fall is here Speaker 3 (0:20) Back to school. I'm going to sing about it. Walking loose Climb the fence Books and pens I can do We are gonna be friends Speaker 3 (0:35) Friends Speaker 6 (0:37) Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Slightly different situation today. We have Sona Movsesian, as we always do. Good to see you, Sona. Speaker 4 (0:46) Hey, good to see you too. Speaker 6 (0:48) You look very nice today. Speaker 4 (0:49) Yeah, I dolled up. Yeah, you do. You look really Speaker 6 (0:52) nice. And Matt Gurley is out. He's got, I think, a cold. He's got two little kids in his house, and I think he has a... He's just going to be in that situation where he has a cold, I think. Every five days. Speaker 4 (1:05) Yeah. Well, I mean, Glenn just started school and the schools are cesspools. Speaker 6 (1:09) Incubators. Speaker 4 (1:10) Incubators. Of Speaker 6 (1:10) disease. Speaker 4 (1:10) Kids always have snot coming down their noses. Yeah, Speaker 6 (1:14) I suppose that's true. And so we have David Hopping sitting in. And David, I know I had a little hitch in my voice there in my sentence, like I wasn't happy to see you, but I am. Oh, I Speaker 2 (1:25) didn't even notice the hitch. Oh, well, then maybe I shouldn't have brought it up. Speaker 6 (1:28) But I've overcome. my reservations about you taking over for Matt Corley. Step in from time to time. You're a fine assistant. And I'm sure there are people who love you. Now, let's Speaker 2 (1:41) get him on the phone. Speaker 6 (1:44) You have something that you wish to talk about. Speaker 2 (1:48) Yes. A fan of yours reached out and I just wanted to share this message and get your thoughts Speaker 3 (1:53) on it. I Speaker 2 (1:53) always like to Speaker 6 (1:53) hear from the fans. Occasionally, a king likes to put on a disguise and walks among his people. And so this is my chance to find it because I'm up in my in the cloud sitting on my golden throne. You're Speaker 4 (2:06) unreachable. Speaker 6 (2:08) Unreachable, untouchable. A god. Yeah, you walk Speaker 4 (2:11) in here and we all like bow and we revere you and no one's like laughing at you and stuff. Why Speaker 6 (2:16) would they laugh at me? Speaker 2 (2:18) With with you. Speaker 4 (2:19) With you. With you. That's what I meant. OK, let's hear it. Speaker 2 (2:21) OK. Says, Hi, David. I'm reaching out in need of your help. My name is Seth and I'm a huge fan of all things Conan. My wife and I are expecting our second baby this November. We are currently in the process of deciding on names. We do not know the gender, but if the baby is a boy, I would love to name him Conan. My wife is not on board with this name. She did say, though, that if I were to get Conan to agree with us naming our future child after him, she would be on board. Any assistance on this matter would be greatly appreciated. Hopefully hear from you soon, Seth. Speaker 6 (2:50) Wow. Conan's cool. Is it? I don't know. I have to say this is a delicate matter because it's Speaker 2 (2:57) a Speaker 6 (2:57) huge decision naming a child. When I was born, first brother was Neil, then Luke. And then when I was born, I was unnamed, I think, for a few days is according to my mom, who told me this later on. And my dad went to the library. This is way back in 1963 and started looking up. Interesting names. And he had this whole theory about how names should be. It should be striking, but not complicated. And it should elide with the last name. So Conan O'Brien. Oh, yeah. But he did all this research and found the name Conan. He didn't know anything about Conan the Barbarian. He didn't know anything because they were at that time like graphic novels or something. He didn't know anything about that. And there were no movies yet. So he just found this name Conan, which had some like. from the Middle Ages or something like that. So he gave me that name. And for a while, it was kind of cool. And then that movie came out. And everyone was like, Conan, where's your sword? And then the beatings would commence. But that was Speaker 4 (4:02) going to happen regardless. The Speaker 6 (4:03) beatings, yes. Yeah, yeah. Speaker 4 (4:04) The beatings were just going to happen. Even if your name Speaker 2 (4:06) was like Brad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Speaker 4 (4:08) beatings are... But why... Why you? Why not? Why didn't he stress out about Neil or Luke's name? I Speaker 6 (4:14) don't know. I don't know. Maybe he saw that I was the chosen one. It was a golden light. I was the only one that had when I was born, I had bright orange hair like an orangutan. And my mom said, you look like a fat Buddha. with like a Lucille Ball wig. And I was like, I love you too, mom. Speaker 3 (4:36) But Speaker 6 (4:36) anyway, so I had the name Conan. This is a big decision. And I have to say, I have fans occasionally show me that they've had a Conan caricature like put on their ankle or something. And I always think, I don't know how I feel about that. Did Speaker 4 (4:52) you ever think about naming Beckett Conan Jr.? Speaker 6 (4:55) Yes. Speaker 4 (4:56) You did really? Yeah, Speaker 6 (4:57) he was Conan Jr. for four years. And then he took us to court. Speaker 4 (5:01) When he was four? Speaker 6 (5:02) Yeah, he took us to court when he was four. The judge immediately, immediately sided with Conan Jr. Speaker 2 (5:09) No, no, not for a second. No, my God, that'd be awful. Were there celebrities that you wanted to name your kids after? No. Speaker 4 (5:18) But you're also, you have a very special thing of you can just be one name. Because your name is so unique. Yes, Speaker 6 (5:26) I'm up there with other one-name celebrities. Yes. All you have to do is say Rihanna. Speaker 4 (5:30) Okay. Like Speaker 6 (5:31) Rihanna. Well, you can. You can say Rihanna went to a party with Conan. Madonna. And Madonna. My Speaker 4 (5:36) queen Cher. Yeah. Speaker 6 (5:38) You don't even have to say my queen Cher, just Cher. I know. Let's say this again. Cher, Rihanna, Madonna, and Conan went to a party. No one thinks that's a weird sentence. No one says, wait a minute, hold on a second, because I'm a one-name celebrity. Speaker 4 (5:52) Yeah, I that's you're making jokes, but that's true. And that's really cool. You Speaker 6 (5:56) really think if you heard that Conan, Rihanna, Cher and Madonna went to a party, you wouldn't spit out whatever you were drinking? I Speaker 4 (6:04) think it would be more like what party? that Madonna, Rihanna and Cher are at, did they invite Conan? But I would know it's you. Speaker 6 (6:13) No, no, no. That wasn't my question. My question is, they're all one name people. I'm a one name person, but I shouldn't be in there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 4 (6:21) The bouncer should have stopped. I would want to know which Speaker 6 (6:23) one of the three invited you. I Speaker 4 (6:25) know. Speaker 6 (6:25) Oh, none of those people were inviting me. No, no, that's one of those things where they're out having a party and then I'm. They're inspecting the HVAC and I wander by their table and then someone gets a picture and suddenly my name is in with them, but they don't include the part about repairing the HVAC. Speaker 2 (6:45) I think, no, Speaker 6 (6:47) I I'm going to have to I'm going to have to side with with the wife on this one. I think. Yeah. Right. Side Speaker 4 (6:55) with him. I think it's Speaker 6 (6:57) a Speaker 4 (6:57) really, I think it's a cool name. It's different. Eduardo. There's Speaker 6 (6:59) a Speaker 4 (6:59) Conan Gray. Be honest. He's a young chap. My Speaker 6 (7:02) feeling is it's a unique name. And if you let somebody else start to use it, it becomes less unique. Speaker 7 (7:07) So for your own brand safety. What do you Speaker 6 (7:10) think about singer Conan Gray? Don't we root against him now? No, we don't. Yeah. Speaker 7 (7:14) Okay, good. Speaker 6 (7:14) Well, and what do you think, David? Speaker 2 (7:16) Yeah. No. Speaker 7 (7:18) Yeah. Speaker 6 (7:18) Also, can I just say, David, you have a lot of, the name Conan triggers you. Yeah. Speaker 7 (7:24) Insane requests at 4 a.m. You know, Speaker 6 (7:27) constantly insisting you pretend to be paparazzi so that I look like I'm really making the scene. Yeah. Trying to clear. Even though you're just not you're holding an invisible camera and you say click. Yeah. I'm going to say, yeah, I think it's a it's a it's a no, you know. And there are. Sorry. Miles is a really good name. I like the name. I like Speaker 4 (7:47) Miles. Yeah, Speaker 6 (7:47) I Speaker 4 (7:48) like my. But I also do like Conan. I think it's a really cool name. And I think. Yeah, but not for Speaker 6 (7:53) others. I think we just let it we let it lie. And also I'll find myself. I'll be. And by the way, they said they don't know the gender yet. We haven't determined my gender yet. So Conan works either way. Speaker 7 (8:02) I'm having Speaker 6 (8:03) a gender reveal party next year here on the podcast. All right, let's do this. My guest today has starred in such movies as Zoolander and Wedding Crashers. His Apple TV Plus series Stick returns for its second season in November. And starting October 2nd, you can see him in Rolling Loud the movie. The very busy but endlessly enjoyable Owen Wilson is here. Speaker 7 (8:36) Owen, Speaker 6 (8:37) welcome. Speaker 6 (8:42) It doesn't happen all the time, but I'll mirror the person that I'm talking to. And the minute I saw you, I walked in and I saw you, I slowed down my speech and I started to notice that I'm kind of, I wasn't doing it intentionally. I'm kind of talking like Owen, you know, and I'm sort Speaker 7 (8:57) of like, and I'm going the other way. I'm, I'm revving myself up. Speaker 6 (9:02) Do you hate yourself? Do you hate yourself now? How much do you hate yourself right now? Are Speaker 4 (9:09) you needy? A needy Speaker 6 (9:10) guy who hates people, hates himself? Well, I am super thrilled you're here because I think we have a lot to talk about. This is the Owen Wilson takedown interview. Good. Because you've been riding high way too long. Yes. Speaker 2 (9:23) You get away with murder. Speaker 6 (9:24) I really believe that. And this is the takedown. I was trying to find, start with a point of commonality. Like what do you're from Dallas? I'm from Boston. We could not come from more different places. My Speaker 7 (9:35) parents are from, my dad's from Boston. Oh, really? Speaker 6 (9:37) My Speaker 7 (9:37) dad's from Belmont. You're Speaker 6 (9:39) kidding. Yes. That's where my parents lived before my mom got pregnant with me. And true story, the landlords, she had two kids already, Luke and Neil. She's the landlord saw my mom was pregnant with the third and said, you gotta, you can't stay here. This was the 19, you know, this is like 1963 when you could say, hey, you're pregnant. Get the fuck out of here. Was this against Speaker 7 (9:59) the Irish? Speaker 6 (10:00) Yeah. Yeah. He was like, oh, my God. She's probably pregnant with seven kids. So they had to move and they moved into to Brookline. And then I was born like months later. And I know that's why you came here today to hear that story. What's Speaker 7 (10:16) that? Speaker 6 (10:16) It was Dukakis from Brookline. Yes. Michael Dukakis, who ran in, let me get this straight, was it 1988? I think he ran for president. 88. And he was the governor of Massachusetts. But yeah, he was. And the day, true story, he runs for president. He loses to George H.W. Bush. And the next night, my brother sees him in line at the Brookline Star Market. And he's buying soda pop. Speaker 7 (10:42) for his secret security detail that's leaving that day. He Speaker 6 (10:46) was in line like wearing a rain, this is the greatest empire the world has ever seen, the most powerful country in the world. And he, you know, missed by some points becoming Speaker 7 (10:57) the leader of that free world. And he's at the star market. And Speaker 6 (11:01) those guys, that's a fine Speaker 7 (11:01) line because those guys are leaving. That's kind of a... poignant scene. Yeah. And I don't think the Secret Service should do that, but they broadcast all protection is leaving Mike Dukakis right Speaker 6 (11:11) now. Speaker 7 (11:13) Because this soda pop, that's what we get. Speaker 6 (11:16) But Speaker 7 (11:16) that's a true story. There was something with him. Wasn't there sort of a photograph that they say sort of hurt his campaign? It was a tank. Yeah. Where he had the helmet. He was touring a military base. Yeah. And Speaker 6 (11:29) he Speaker 7 (11:29) got Speaker 6 (11:29) into a tank with his head. Sticking out and someone put a big helmet on him. Speaker 7 (11:34) And it didn't look powerful. No. It looked. No. Yeah. It looked like he was in a go-kart. Yeah. Yeah. And he just looked kind of, Speaker 6 (11:41) yeah, like. So I didn't know that your dad's from. From Belmont. So, you Speaker 7 (11:47) know, that wearing the hat thing about JFK when he came to Texas, you know, they tried to get him to put on a cowboy hat. He wouldn't do it. He had enough sense to be like. Well, I'll come back. Like he didn't get knowing that would go around. That would all have. Oh, remember that great picture of JFK in a cowboy hat? Yeah. Yeah. Have Speaker 6 (12:08) a Speaker 7 (12:09) sense of himself that like, Speaker 6 (12:10) that's not how I want to be. Yeah. Speaker 7 (12:12) No, he didn't put on the hat. He wouldn't. He didn't like to wear hats. I mean, he had cool hair. He had the coolest hair of any president. Yeah. I think that was like when E.B. White wrote his sort of that was his little tribute to JFK. Uh, they did not wear a hat. I got to look that up. I Speaker 6 (12:29) wrote E.B. White a fan letter. You Speaker 7 (12:32) did? Speaker 6 (12:32) Yeah. When I was a kid, just about how much I admired his writing and he wrote me back. I've, I got the letters. I got the letter back, I think in 1980. We've mentioned it here before, but it bears repeating. Uh, clearly I said to him, I want to be a writer or be creative or be out there, but I'm afraid of criticism. And he said, well, if you're afraid of criticism, you're going to have a rough time of it because everyone gets criticized. And then I chose comedy. I chose the thing where everybody can say anytime you suck. Speaker 7 (13:05) So that's funny. The E.B. White, that was my my quote that when I was applying to college was from Stuart Little was live and learn. And the only and that was my dad because I'd been kicked out of school. And once we found out that the college that they would see that because we weren't sure, are they going to see that I was kicked out or will it just show? Oh, yes, they're going to see. And so that's when we pivoted. And my dad had his old ad agency working on my essay. Speaker 6 (13:43) How to turn your getting kicked out of school into a positive. That's when we moved Speaker 7 (13:47) the quote to live and learn. And I still remember the first sentence of it. You know, my dad was a good writer. He goes, while my record may not reveal this, I feel it's important for me. to address this. We knew it was going to reveal, but we were getting out in front. Oh my God, that's genius. Wait Speaker 3 (14:09) a Speaker 6 (14:10) minute. You were expelled for cheating. Yeah. Cheating in geometry. In geometry. And then Speaker 4 (14:15) he cheated on his personal essay for God. He wasn't cheating. He didn't cheat. That's not cheating. I was in Vengos Speaker 6 (14:23) 2. I was there. I was there. Speaker 7 (14:26) I am Red Stewart Little. You know, I knew. I got this. Owen was there. This is a takedown. Speaker 4 (14:36) He Speaker 6 (14:37) was there with the 15 other copywriters and the CEO of the ad company. He didn't say anything. I got this. They saw through it because I did Speaker 7 (14:48) not get into Wesleyan or Dartmouth or Williams or Washington and Lee. Wow. Speaker 4 (14:57) But Speaker 6 (14:57) you Speaker 7 (14:58) did go to military Speaker 6 (15:00) school. Yeah. Yeah. And this this blows my mind because I just don't picture you. Speaker 7 (15:07) Why? You don't get a real military demeanor real square. You Speaker 6 (15:14) know what? I take it back. Speaker 4 (15:16) I Speaker 6 (15:17) just got a better look at you. And man, you can bounce a quarter off his bed every morning. Those are. Hospital corners. Private first class. Yes. So you didn't Speaker 7 (15:30) shoot through the ranks, shoot up through the ranks. You know, it's funny. Speaker 6 (15:35) So many times a great military doesn't always happen, but great military leaders or people who are very brave in combat were at the bottom of their class at West Point. Yeah. So you might be a great, great military Speaker