Joel McHale Returns

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Comedian Joel McHale joins Conan O'Brien for a high-energy conversation filled with absurd anecdotes and comedic banter. The pair discusses

Key takeaways

• Joel McHale performs in a band called the Vagodas, named after actor Abe Vigoda.
• Norah Jones played a pivotal role in connecting McHale with guitarist Jason Roberts.
• McHale presented Conan with a sword cane manufactured by Cold Steel.
• The duo discusses McHale's early improv roots at Pike Place Market in Seattle.
• Conan shares humorous, semi-plausible stories regarding Abraham Lincoln and the assassination attempt.

Main topics

• The Vagodas band
• Sword canes and weapons
• Seattle and Pike Place Market

Notable quotes

99% of the reason to have a band is to have the merch.

Conclusion

A delightful exploration of long-term friendship through shared humor

Transcript preview

Speaker 4 (0:02) My name is Joel McHale, and I feel blank about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Speaker 5 (0:10) You know, when I look into your eyes, I get blank. Speaker 2 (0:15) Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell. Brand new shoes, walkin' loose, climb the fence, books and pens. I can, you're gonna be friends, you're gonna be friends. Speaker 5 (0:34) Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. People are giggling here in the studio. I don't Speaker 1 (0:39) know Speaker 5 (0:39) why. Multiple reasons. I'll just, yeah, I'll just go with it. And I am, I'm here with my buds. Yep. Speaker 1 (0:46) My Speaker 5 (0:46) buds, my contractual buds, Sonam Ossessian. Yep. Matt Gourley. And I don't even know, want to know why you're giggling. You know, that's that's your business. Sometimes Speaker 1 (0:55) we just giggle. It's OK. We talk beforehand. I want to ask you a question. Yes. Speaker 5 (1:00) I Speaker 1 (1:00) saw your band perform a couple of weeks ago. Speaker 5 (1:02) Which Speaker 1 (1:02) one did you come to? I went to the lodge room in Highland Park to watch the Vagodas. You guys crushed it. It was so much fun. Speaker 5 (1:09) It's a lot of fun to do. And you Speaker 1 (1:10) look like you're having a really good time. Speaker 5 (1:12) Yeah, I love it. It's really fun. It's a pretty simple story. I was feeling like I was getting stagnant on guitar. And then in this studio, I don't know how long ago, maybe two, three years ago, we had Nora Jones on the show. Oh, Speaker 2 (1:28) yeah. Speaker 5 (1:28) And afterwards, she always knew that I played guitar and it's kind of a hobby of mine. She said, how's that going? And I said, you know what? I just feel like I need to work with someone because I'm just playing the same things over and over again. I'm not. learning anything new. I'm not challenging myself. And she said, I know a great guy. Speaker 1 (1:44) Give Speaker 5 (1:45) this guy a call. And she gave me this name, Jason Roberts. And so I called him up and shout out Speaker 3 (1:50) to Jason. Speaker 5 (1:52) So I call this guy up. He comes over to my house. He's fantastic. And he's an amazing player. And so we just started hanging out like once a week and he'd or once every two weeks whenever I had time and he would show me things. And we would play together and I just had a blast. And then one day, not that long ago, like six months ago, I said, hey, if we were to start a band, would you know the guys? He said, oh, I know the guys. And cut to immediately I'm in a garage in NoHo and playing with an amazing keyboard player named Ben. And Jason's on guitar. Josh is on drums. And Eric is a killer bass player. And I do vocals and rhythm guitar and occasional goofy solos. And it's just fun. It's really fun. So we started playing these really tiny venues. We played a really kooky venue in Ojai, which was fun. And it was this older crowd. And so I started to tell them. Speaker 2 (3:01) In Speaker 5 (3:01) Ojai? Yeah, in Ojai. Speaker 2 (3:03) It was this Speaker 5 (3:04) older crowd that they politely applauded when we came out. It was a pretty small room. And so I started telling them that, listen, I know that your minister doesn't allow you to dance. And they all started laughing. And then I went on this whole thing about, I don't care what the minister says. Screw that. You have a right to dance. It's not a sin. And so they all started getting up, these older people, and they were all dancing. Oh, cool. And it was kind of a happening. So we've been playing these shows. We just did The Moroccan, which is down near the train station in downtown LA. And that was fun. What do Speaker 2 (3:38) you do covers, I assume? We do all. What are some songs you guys do? There's Speaker 5 (3:42) one song I wrote myself called. bad podcast partners. Oh, okay. So Speaker 2 (3:48) it's Speaker 5 (3:48) self Speaker 2 (3:48) -reflexive? Yeah. How does it go? Speaker 5 (3:49) How does it go? You know, finding something that rhymes with Gorley was hard. Well, it's right there, poorly. Speaker 1 (3:56) But, yeah. Speaker 5 (3:57) And then Movsesian, forget it. Oh, okay. No, Speaker 1 (4:00) no, Speaker 5 (4:00) no. We do, we play a wide variety of, I mean, I love rockabilly, so there's some old rockabilly tunes, but there's also Elvis Costello, Harry Nilsson. What Harry Nilsson song do you think? Well, We've been playing around with Jump Into the Fire. Yeah, I just like it to be sort of an eclectic mix. We do a song by the band. We sort of jump around. But what I like is I like fast, energetic things where I can channel my hyperactivity. But the musicians are so good that I just get to enjoy being on stage with them. It's really fun. Speaker 4 (4:34) That's Speaker 1 (4:34) so cool. Speaker 5 (4:35) Yeah, and I've been... Well, what was your impression seeing it? You can be honest. Speaker 1 (4:39) had so much fun watching you it's really you you really enjoy it you've always enjoyed it you played the guitar when we would rehearse Speaker 5 (4:47) yep and Speaker 1 (4:48) you know i would do Speaker 5 (4:49) that more than more than you would rehearse everybody Speaker 1 (4:51) would just kind of wait until you were done and then we would rehearse people were so Speaker 5 (4:55) annoyed it was Speaker 1 (4:56) no i mean it's your it's your show you can do whatever you want but it's I think that it's really cool. It's a great creative outlet. I know you have a band too. Tack has a band. I think that everyone should Speaker 5 (5:06) have a band. It's like, if you Speaker 1 (5:07) know how to play music, why not get together with other people who play music and then just play music together? Speaker 5 (5:12) Yeah. Well, the, uh, my thing is we're called the Vagodas after, uh, Abe Vagoda. Yeah. Terrific actor from the Godfather and Fish and Barney Miller. Um, but he was a part of my show for many, many years. And I always thought if I ever have a band, I'm going to call it the Vagodas. And we got permission from Abe's family. And so now we got merch. Speaker 1 (5:34) And I swear Speaker 5 (5:36) to God, 99 % of the reason to have a band is to have the merch. With Abe Vagoda's face on it. Yeah, it's really fun. It's really fun. Do you Speaker 1 (5:44) get to choose the songs? I mean, they're younger. These musicians. Yes. Do Speaker 5 (5:49) they Speaker 1 (5:49) know Speaker 5 (5:49) these Speaker 1 (5:50) songs? Speaker 5 (5:51) Do they know who you are? They don't know who I am. No idea. Okay. They're always shocked that people seem to come to the shows and know me. They're like, oh, you must have played this club before. No, they do know a bunch of the songs, but I'm also surprised sometimes I'll bring up a song that I think everybody knows and they don't because I'm an older fella. Well, they're Speaker 1 (6:15) really young. Speaker 5 (6:15) Yeah. Speaker 1 (6:16) Yeah. It's not just that. It has nothing to do with you being older. It's just that, like me, you guys reference things all the time that I don't know what you're talking about. Speaker 5 (6:25) Yeah, like the Civil War. Okay. Abraham Lincoln. Speaker 1 (6:31) Abraham Vigoda. That would be his full first name. I guess so, Speaker 2 (6:36) yeah. Speaker 1 (6:37) Oh, my God. My mind is blown right now. And Mary Todd Speaker 2 (6:40) Vigoda. Yeah. Speaker 5 (6:43) Well, I'm glad we brought this up. Speaker 1 (6:44) Abraham Vigoda just really blew me away. Speaker 5 (6:48) I know. That was the Speaker 1 (6:49) most Speaker 5 (6:49) stunned I've ever seen you. Abe Vigoda. Wait a minute. Abraham Vigoda. You laugh like you just split the atom. You Speaker 1 (6:58) don't expect the full names to come into play. You certainly don't. That's a good point. Like Matthew Gordley. Speaker 5 (7:04) Talene. Speaker 1 (7:05) Oh, Speaker 5 (7:05) Talene. So anyway, that's my hobby. But I will say Speaker 4 (7:10) the I can't say enough about these youngsters that are playing with me. Speaker 5 (7:15) They're just they are the franchise. They're really fun. Right. Speaker 1 (7:17) And Speaker 5 (7:17) they're so good at what they do. And they're lovely, funny guys. So they say things Speaker 1 (7:21) and you're like, what? I'm not saying that. I'm I know I'm really harping on the fact that they're really they're really young. That's why I'm like very impressed that they're like. doing all this stuff with you because these are songs I've never heard of before. A lot of them. Speaker 5 (7:37) Yeah. Well, what would be the song you would want? You'd want us to do Queen. Speaker 1 (7:40) Well, yeah, but I mean, yeah, I'd want you to do Queen, but also Speaker 5 (7:44) Rihanna's Umbrella. You do. No. Yeah, I do the Jay-Z rap. It's the way to get people out of the club. That's what we do. If there's a fire or any kind of health emergency, I start playing. I start singing Rihanna's Umbrella. And wrapping the Jay-Z parts. And the place clears out. You should do Pitbull. Speaker 3 (8:05) What's that? You should do Pitbull. Speaker 5 (8:07) Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Speaker 1 (8:08) Yes, Speaker 5 (8:09) Men in Black theme song. This Speaker 1 (8:10) is so cool, though. I'm really happy you're doing this. I think it's really cool. Well, Speaker 5 (8:14) we'll be coming soon to a venue near you. All right. Let's get into this. Okay? My guest today is an actor and a comedian. Comedian? Sure. He's a friend, so I can get away with that. who starred on the NBC series Community, one of the greatest shows of all time. Now you can see him in season five of the Fox series Animal Control. He is a good pal. I've known him for a long time. He is a quality fellow. We hang a lot. And I'm thrilled he's here today. Joel McHale, welcome. Speaker 5 (8:49) These are compulsive sips of iced coffee you're taking. Have Speaker 4 (8:53) you seen this? Yeah. You are drinking Speaker 5 (8:55) them in a very obsessive compulsive Speaker 2 (8:57) way. You Speaker 3 (8:57) took the straw Speaker 2 (8:57) as if it wouldn't get you enough. Oh, wow. Speaker 4 (9:00) That's great. Yeah, it's a problem. Okay. I don't Speaker 5 (9:05) know if you want a bit Speaker 4 (9:06) of Speaker 2 (9:06) coffee right here if you want. What's that? Speaker 5 (9:09) That's Speaker 4 (9:09) ejaculate. Speaker 5 (9:10) Yeah. Speaker 2 (9:12) I Speaker 5 (9:12) didn't know the fleet was in town. Just making sure if you want it. So. Sorry. My mom's going to love it. This is a terrible episode. I'm going to say it. How can you Speaker 4 (9:21) say it right now? Speaker 5 (9:22) I can declare a doctor can declare a patient dead the minute it's brought in. If there's no heartbeat and no sign of life. Joel, let me talk to you about something. Yes. You and I are friends in real life. I hate to admit it, but it's true. We've hung out a lot. I enjoy your company. I enjoy yours. And Speaker 4 (9:40) then today. We're supposed to start recording this at noon. Speaker 5 (9:44) Yeah. And Speaker 4 (9:45) you sail in at like 25 past noon. Speaker 5 (9:50) Al Pacino doesn't do that. Barack Obama doesn't do that. We have heavy hitters come on this show. You cruise in late. Speaker 4 (9:56) I have a pretty good excuse. Let's hear it. I forgot your gift. Speaker 2 (10:00) Is Speaker 4 (10:01) that true? Yeah. And I went back and got it. You brought me a gift. I did. Let's see this Speaker 2 (10:04) thing. I want to see what this is. Yeah. I Speaker 4 (10:06) literally turned around. I was like, ah, Speaker 5 (10:07) fuck. We've talked about. This gentleman on the pass for years, Joel McHale has been giving me mostly weapons. Yeah. As mostly it got to a point where they were all over the house. And I think my son once was walking around with. Speaker 4 (10:22) I hope it was a Bowie knife. Speaker 5 (10:24) It Speaker 4 (10:25) was a Speaker 5 (10:25) it was it was like a scimitar. Speaker 4 (10:28) And Speaker 5 (10:28) I got it out of his hands. And then I took all of the weapons you've given me and put them up on a really high shelf. We've talked about that. If I'm ever attacked in my home. I will retreat to my closet, reach up on a high shelf, and in my stumblings and panic, all of them will come falling down and I'll be Speaker 4 (10:46) killed. And Speaker 5 (10:47) then it'll turn out the intruder is just Speaker 4 (10:49) someone who Speaker 5 (10:50) was here to fix the AC. Speaker 4 (10:51) At three in the morning. Speaker 5 (10:52) At three in the morning, which is when I like my AC fixed. Let's open this up. Sarah wrapped it. Speaker 4 (10:57) What's that? My wife wrapped it, Sarah. She did a Speaker 5 (10:59) beautiful Speaker 4 (10:59) job. Thank you. I love Sarah, by the way. Yes, I'm very lucky. 30 years, guys. 30 years. This. This is another weapon. Wait, what? Speaker 5 (11:09) Sword cane. Speaker 4 (11:10) Yes. Speaker 5 (11:10) I've always wanted a sword cane. Speaker 4 (11:13) I'm not kidding. This is a good one. This is amazing. Oh, Speaker 5 (11:16) my God. Wow. This is real. Speaker 4 (11:19) Where do Speaker 5 (11:20) you get these things? Because you know what? Some of the things that you've given me, I've later been told are illegal. Yeah. Speaker 4 (11:25) Is this illegal? That is illegal. I think it's illegal. Speaker 5 (11:28) Hey, Speaker 4 (11:28) who's going to know? Arizona, Georgia, you can get them. There's a number of irresponsible. Do you have a poison-tipped umbrella? I don't have a pointed-tipped umbrella. Or Speaker 2 (11:38) like a knife umbrella? Oh, my Speaker 4 (11:40) God. Look at Speaker 5 (11:40) this. This is... Let's talk about this. This is, first of all... What is this made? It's... It's well Speaker 4 (11:46) -made. It's really well-made. Cold Steel does not mess around. That's the name of the company. Oh, you're getting a free stuff? Speaker 5 (11:52) This was not free. I paid for this. Is that like Speaker 2 (11:54) carbon fiber or something? Speaker 5 (11:56) It's like carbon fiber on the outside. Look at this. I love that this is a... a Speaker 4 (11:59) QVC or cold feel for Speaker 5 (12:02) just weapons. You and I should do a show. I would do that. Where it's just weapons and all the prices are on the side and people, you know what I mean? And it's all done in it. Speaker 4 (12:11) We could start our own brand and I'm not kidding. Just pull, pull on it. Just pull. Yeah. Feel that. Yeah, Speaker 5 (12:19) that's gonna. Oh, yeah, Speaker 2 (12:20) that's Speaker 4 (12:20) nice. It's just, yeah, you just stick that straight into somebody. It's going to go right through them. Speaker 3 (12:25) This is incredible. I should say, Penal Code 20510, under California law, it is a crime to possess, manufacture, import, sell, or give in California a cane sword. Speaker 2 (12:37) This is also Chekhov's sword cane, where one of us has to die by the end of this episode. Yeah, yeah. Speaker 5 (12:42) No, it's true. Chekhov always said. In drama, if a gun is introduced, eventually it has to be fired. Welcome to the nerd party. Speaker 4 (12:52) No, I meant Speaker 5 (12:53) Chekhov from Star Trek. Speaker 4 (12:54) Oh, that's okay. And Speaker 5 (12:56) gun Speaker 4 (12:57) meant Speaker 5 (12:57) phaser. So yeah, we're all good here now. Sorry, nothing. This is, and also, let's Speaker 4 (13:03) just Speaker 5 (13:03) see. Speaker 4 (13:03) And you can Speaker 5 (13:03) stroll Speaker 4 (13:03) around. Well, can I? Because Speaker 5 (13:05) I'm a tall gentleman. Speaker 4 (13:06) Yeah, Speaker 5 (13:07) this is great. Yeah, maybe I could. Speaker 4 (13:09) Yeah, you look like Paul Feig. What's Speaker 5 (13:12) that? Speaker 4 (13:12) You look like Paul Feig wherever he goes. This Speaker 5 (13:15) is terrific. We're seeing what will Speaker 2 (13:17) become the undoing. And Speaker 5 (13:18) then, Speaker 2 (13:18) you know, oh my God. This is Speaker 5 (13:22) incredible. I love this. Speaker 4 (13:25) And you could just be, one of you could be talking and then all of a sudden you get that weird look and the point just comes out of your chest. Speaker 3 (13:30) You Speaker 4 (13:30) know what? You are such a great. I love the Speaker 5 (13:34) gifts that you give me. You know, every morning he gave me a very dangerous switchblade where the blade comes straight out of the handle. Automatic. Yeah. And the logo is like an eagle's talons. Speaker 4 (13:48) Yeah, that's a microtech. Speaker 5 (13:50) And you told me when you gave it to me, this is very illegal. Very illegal. It's very cool. It's got this bright orange handle. I keep it. in my drawer, in my bathroom. And in the morning, when you have to open up like anything, like an aspirin or anything that has that little plastic, I reach, you know, that's covering the lid. I reach in and I go, and then just do the simplest thing that you could do with a pair of scissors or anything. It's badass. It's so bad. And then it Speaker 4 (14:20) retracts. It's got, it's a double spring action. Yeah. Yes. You can get those in Speaker 3 (14:25) Georgia as well. Speaker 4 (14:27) So Georgia is a place where you can just get whatever you want. You can do anything. You also, well. But Speaker 2 (14:32) how do you get them from Georgia? You can't fly with them, right? Speaker 4 (14:34) You can have, you have to kind of chase. They used to be able to get them on Amazon for a while. Did you Speaker 5 (14:40) buy this in Georgia and then stroll all the way? Backpacks full. Speaker 1 (14:47) Through the South. Speaker 5 (14:48) Automatic knife. Through Speaker 2 (14:49) the Speaker 5 (14:49) Southwest. Into California. You know what you are? You're the Johnny Appleseed of death. Roaming across America. I love this. You know, you give such great gifts and you've given me, um, I was thinking, I was like, yeah, give me a crossbow. Speaker 4 (15:07) Yeah. And I've, uh, I was worried that I was like, oh man, we have to just bring him guns now. And, uh, just, just get just a higher caliber guns each time in Wisconsin, I think is the most dangerous state. We, uh, why is that? Because there's no helmet law fireworks year round. Weed is fully legal. And obviously alcohol, unlike Georgia, where weed is not legal, but you don't have to wear a helmet. You've Speaker 5 (15:33) really looked into the Speaker 4 (15:34) rules. I was like, there's no rules in Wisconsin. You started a Speaker 2 (15:37) militia or something? Well, it Speaker 4 (15:39) would be a pretty irresponsible militia with no helmets. And you could just be like throwing. When you say no Speaker 5 (15:44) helmets, you mean you're riding your motorcycle. You do not need a helmet. You don't need a helmet, but you can cover your head in lit fireworks. And weed. But in Georgia, weed is still illegal. So, yeah. Let's talk about you. All right. I know you don't want to do that, but we have been friends for a long time. I enjoy hanging out so much with you, your wife, Sarah, who's spectacular. She Speaker 4 (16:13) is. And... Eddie. We both did well. Your Speaker 5 (16:17) kids are great. Eddie, Isaac, we always have a fun time. Speaker 4 (16:20) Yeah, we miss