Eric Andre Returns Again

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Eric Andre returns for a chaotic, humorous episode blending World Cup talk, absurd jokes, and playful banter with Conan. The conversation spirals into random topics like pickleball, board games, and California’s potential statehood.

Key takeaways

• Eric Andre brings surreal energy to every conversation.
• Soccer fandom is explored with comedic exaggeration.
• Pickleball is jokingly blamed for America's soccer struggles.

Transcript preview

Hi, my name is Eragandre. And I feel like sandpaper. Ask Conan O'Brien's friend. How are you sandpaper? I don't know. I realized last time I said moist, so I was about to say moist again, and then I was like, no, you already did that joke. And then I was like, what's the opposite of moist? back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walk and blues, climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are going to be friends. I can tell that we are going to be friends. Hey, son and he's a friend. I am joined by Sonam of Cessian. Hey Sona. Hi. Matt Gourley, how are you, sir? Hi, good, thanks. I'm going to attempt something that has very low odds of working. Yeah. I thought hey maybe we should talk about World Cup it's a huge thing massive biggest sporting event in the world it's involves 48 countries being hosted by Canada Mexico USA but here's the problem I don't think anyone here in this podcast right now just the three of us really cares about the world that's not true it is true it's not true I don't think you care at all I'm sorry it's the only sports I ever watch every four years I really enjoy the only sports I ever watch I know I actually love it too because soccer players are hot they're really attractive that's why I watch when you're watching with your boys you go I do that guy yeah and I high-five them like right boys he can be your dad yeah oh my god oh my god you guys want a brother that's just come on man clean it up I love tack too I don't want to know two Okay, I shouldn't say that, but I'll say is, I wouldn't say the three of us are well versed in talking about World Cup, correct. And we are recording this, I think, three weeks ahead of time, so we don't know where in the World Cup certain teams will be, who will be eliminated, what's going on. So we're really attempting something that I think is difficult on maybe seven different levels. Yeah. And, and, um... mixed both on several different levels. Yeah, well sorry I didn't let it. I'm sorry I have a hard. I was gonna let it go. No no, but I have a hard time when I talk about the sports of soccer. Oh that's right you didn't let that go. Fuck you. Yeah, hit him. Hit him hard. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna ask Eduardo to really help us out here because Eduardo this is something is very near and dear to your heart. You need to supply the passion here. Okay. All right. So let's talk about it. We're a couple of weeks in. What do you think has happened by this point? Who's been eliminated? Oh man. Come on. All right. So I'll tell you that going into this the top five countries predicted to compete for the final is Argentina, Spain, France, Portugal, and maybe Germany or England. Give or take one of them. So, same as it almost always is without Brazil. But where are the Dutch? The Dutch are actually considered a dark horse in this tournament. Yeah. That's what I thought. Great question. No, no. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. because when you think someone saying we're the Dutch you'd be like oh he's making a joke no I'm not they they're very good yes and they could come out of nowhere wouldn't that be fantastic if the Dutch were still I wouldn't be surprised if they're making a deep run so if we're looking into our crystal ball that's a good prediction if you're listening right now and the Dutch are out of it that's on Eduardo okay so go ahead tell us more yeah it's being hosted by three different countries all north american what does that mean when they say when they say hosting it are taking place. But they also have to, you know, when you hear host, sometimes you think they have to supply food, drinks, that kind of thing. Hosting the Olympics, man? Yeah, you got hosting it for game night. I know, I'm just trying to do a new thing where when you host, you really should be a host. Oh, you shouldn't charge for food and drink. And there should be a host. There should be a host. There should be music. You should be music, you should, you should, you should, it's just an, it's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. It's just an idea. Well, speaking about, speaking of after 10, the cool thing about this one for us that live here in the States or in North America, the times are like reasonable times for us to watch. So I don't have to go to a pub at 3 in the morning to watch Croatia play against Orlando. Correct. There will be games starting at noon and the last game will be like at 7 o'clock at night. So, yeah, it's a full days of soccer. Let me ask you something, and this is something because I'm a patriot. America is getting better. road but what does America has to do to really be competitive in world soccer? That's a good question I think. It's a great question. Thank you. They have taken a lot of steps forward and a couple small steps back so this one it's a crapshoot. USA some of us wouldn't be surprised if they're still in it at this time in three weeks. Some of us wouldn't be surprised if they're actually. Where do you follow Eduard or what do you think I'd we didn't in other countries it's just such a part of the culture and it's not as much here and maybe you is this a graph that's never going to completely take meaning will we ever be really competitive with Argentina with Spain some of these other countries? No I think we will get there I think it's just taking a lot longer I think we're competing as like the fourth major sport well now fourth major sport at one point it was like the fifth or sixth major sport in this country it's slowly turning with I think the excitement around pickleball I think we were starting to gain and then everybody who was really starting to get interested in soccer or as of course others say football football they pickleball came around and now I think it's that is added another hundred years I agree we should ban pickleball there's a lot of overlap I don't like that it competes are you going to a game I hope so also what's that game we're on your iPhone you put heads up heads up I think heads up put us back another hundred years too. And you're just getting settlers of Kitan as well. I think, I think, what's that? Settlers of Kitan. What's that? It's this famous board game that everybody played for like 10 years. There's like bartering. Weets and textiles. Oh, I love it when people come over and we have some wine. You would actually love this game. I probably would. I probably would. I shouldn't be negative about it. I shouldn't be negative about it. I shouldn't be negative about it. I shouldn't be negative about it. I shouldn't be negative about it. I shouldn't be negative about it. I shouldn't be negative about it. I shouldn't be negative about it. But I shouldn't be negative about it. But I shouldn't be negative about it. But I shouldn't be negative about it. But I shouldn't be negative about it. But I do. But I do. But I do. But I do. But I do. But I do I thought it was Chris Kitan I thought and pickleball and then pickleball I think those things have probably destroyed our chances of being competitive in what I call football and which Eduardo calls soccer yeah I just I'm but anyway that's what's happening I resolve almost every year to pick a team and really get involved and really follow soccer yeah I just I'm but anyway that's what's happening I resolve almost every year to pick a team I don't have to go with the Dutch. What was the figure speech? That's true. And I think a worthwhile figure speech, to be honest with you. Do you know any soccer players? Do I know them? I mean personally, I'm very good friends. I don't know the sport very well, but I'm very good friends with most of the players. Oh, I'm messy. Messy was at my house like three weeks ago. Okay. He was. He was, he was. He comes at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house. He was at my house, he was at my house, he was at my house, he was at my house, he was at my house there much more famous than you and I said why you talking in that stilted way? And he said you trying to do an Argentinian yeah and he said you know so little about me you do stilted accent that's what he said this is all true he said you said you're impression of me belies the fact that we are not friends and you don't know me in real life that's what he said to me and then I said belies the fact why are you speaking Yeah, I'm going to do it. Severin. Okay, and that's funny. That's when you misspoke, remember? I don't remember. I remember, but so seldom. Verily happens at all. Probably happens at all. Probably happens at all. Oh my God. That happens. He's dying right in front of us. Hey, that's a question. Sure. This is really dark, but let's say something where it happened to be there was a medical event. Oh, and then, Do you want to hear something darker? You've asked this question. I know! But aren't you guys going to... I know what I've asked it before, but I'm begging you guys to please pay attention. Oh no! When I misspeak, don't giggle. Say, are you okay, Conan? We're trying to move it along and let it happen. Yeah, get me to the great little faster. And you can all do your pity episode. Oh, we're so, we're so sorry about Conan passing. Oh, oh my god that would be great, that would be great, that would be great. And then stick around, we're getting together the cast of Facts of Life. Oh, that'd be cool. Can you name them all? Can I name them all? Yeah. They're real names, you rookie? What? I want to hear their show names? I want to hear their show names. Judy, Joe, Joe, Blair. God, this show meant a lot to you. It didn't, but I do know the theme. Natalie. What, we're walking in here. I went today. I wonder, I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding you. I wonder if that'll come up on the show today. I'm not joking. I'm not saying I'm psychic I'm saying I'm close. What? Yeah. Are you watching it recently? No it just came to my hey. Say something a lot of our listeners think this thing is so well crafted they must write it ahead of time and really work out the architecture of it and I want to say that I think this podcast episode proves that that is not the case. America's screwed because we're the soccer team. talking about soccer, world cup, and then it's facts of life, and then you're singing the song. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and then you have the good, you take the bad, you take the bad, you take them all, and then you have. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them all? No, wait, you said, you take it all. You take the good, you take it all. You take the good, you have, you take the good, I said, yeah. No, but what I'm saying is I don't know this song. No, you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have. Oh, you take them both? Oh, that's right. That makes more sense, grammatically. Makes sense as lyrics. You know what song did make sense? Charles was in charge. Okay. Charles in charge of our days of our days and our nights. That doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense either. No, why is the nanny in charge of your night. responsibility for him. Anyway, that's our World Cup wrap up. Yes! What a mess! All right, my guest today is a hilarious comedian and post. Oh my God! Of the Eric Andre show on Adult Swim. What a mess. Now you can see him in the new... This is what people come for and this is what we promise and this is what we deliver and I don't regret it. Now you can see Eric, our good friend. little brother a movie he made with Mr. John Cina. I will also say this is appropriate for this interview. It really is because it's all the wheels have come off this trolley many times. I always love when Eric stops by. Eric Andre welcome. Here's why I love having you on the podcast. You are a cartoon character. You're not a real person. not a real person and when we're together I'm just happy because and the rest of America's annoyed and miserable at the shenanigans but you don't live in the real world and whenever I you just don't you just don't you think I stand out you are you're an insane cartoon character you bounce off walls you crash through ceilings to the delight of everyone well my comedy hero is ganzo from the mumpichaw you're an insane cartoon character you bounce it was a clips episode of the Muppet show that Ganso hosted in a Hugh Hefner best and his wife was that chicken. Remember he had a chicken for a wife? And he hosted this thing. It was called like the weirdest sketches on, it wasn't called the weirdest sketches on the Muppet show, but it was like the weirdest parts of the Muppet show had a more elegant title than what I'm saying. And it was just a clip show and he was like Dick Clark, he's slash Hugh Heppner. And he intro. And he introed all all the weirder. And he introed all the weirdest all the weirdest all. And he introed all, and he introed all, and he introed all, and he introed all, and he introed all, and he introed all the weirdest weirdest clips from the Muppet show and I would watch that VHS like over and over formative I haven't thought about that for me it was Warner Brothers cartoons but I always thought well that's the highest form of comedy is people getting stretched out elongated people looking to Cameron going uh-uh and then falling yeah and