Episode 347 - Sarah Tiana

Breaking Bread with Tom Papa

Comedian Tom Papa welcomes Sarah Tiana to 'Breaking Bread' for a heartfelt and humorous conversation about marriage, identity, living in Los

Key takeaways

• Marriage brings emotional shifts that can disrupt a comedian's established persona and material.

Main topics

• Marriage and identity transformation
• Living in Los Angeles and urban navigation

Notable quotes

"Now, what am I going to talk about?" – Reflecting on losing a long-standing comedic identity after marriage.

Conclusion

Sarah Tiana and Tom Papa end their conversation with warmth, sharing f

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:01) Do you write jokes about them for that room? Speaker 2 (0:05) Would I in that situation? No, I would call you. Speaker 1 (0:08) Oh, okay. Because I'm like, I've done jokes like shows for the Royals. And you write Speaker 2 (0:14) jokes specifically for them. Specifically for the Speaker 1 (0:17) players in the room. But then I also go up to all the players before and I go, give me a joke about Pasquantino. Speaker 2 (0:23) You do. Speaker 1 (0:24) And then now they're invested because they gave me a joke. Speaker 2 (0:28) It's Speaker 1 (0:29) breaking bread. Speaker 2 (0:30) Thank you for being here. Speaker 1 (0:31) You're welcome. We just like dove into. Speaker 2 (0:36) I baked you this bread last night. Speaker 1 (0:38) You did? Yeah. Speaker 2 (0:40) So that's for you and yours. Thank you. You and your family and your new husband. My new husband. Does it feel like a new husband because you've been together forever? Speaker 1 (0:49) We have been together for a long time. It does feel different though. It Speaker 2 (0:52) does. And Speaker 1 (0:53) maybe it's because I'm going through the process of changing my name. that feels different. It also feels like I lost like 30 minutes of material. So that definitely feels different. Speaker 2 (1:04) Yeah. Yeah. It's like Speaker 1 (1:06) so much of my identity was like, he's never asked me to marry him. We're not married because of this. We're not married because of this. Speaker 2 (1:12) That's funny. And Speaker 1 (1:13) now it's like, it feels like when John Panette lost weight, you know, Speaker 2 (1:17) Robert Kelly all of a sudden was skinny. Speaker 1 (1:21) Now, what am I going to talk about? Speaker 2 (1:24) Wait a minute. Oh, yeah. But have you recorded that material? Is it down? Yeah, yeah. It's recorded. Speaker 1 (1:30) So it's fine. But it's still like, it just, I think a big part of why I was so nervous even to get married was because it did feel like this identity that I've had for, well, I'm 48, so 48 years of just like, I'm single, no one will marry me. Yeah. Speaker 2 (1:47) It's like, Speaker 1 (1:47) gone. Speaker 2 (1:48) Yeah, that's always weird. And it takes a beat for your... Act to catch up to the new life because your Speaker 1 (1:54) new Speaker 2 (1:55) life, you don't really know it yet. Speaker 1 (1:58) Like Speaker 2 (1:58) it kind of has to settle in. It's like whenever like my daughter was born, you know, and he had all these jokes about whatever. And then it took like, it was like on delay. Speaker 1 (2:10) Yeah. Speaker 2 (2:11) Yeah. No, Speaker 1 (2:12) I think that that was the same for motherhood, you know, where they're just like, I remember comparing it to The Bachelor where it's like you meet this new man and you're like. I mean, I don't know. This feels really soon. Speaker 2 (2:24) Right. And then, Speaker 1 (2:25) you know, it was during COVID. So once I was locked up with him for a few weeks, I was like, I think I love him. Like it took a second. But I think with being married, it feels like, I don't know, like wearing a ring is like new and different. Like seeing him wear that. And Speaker 2 (2:42) just Speaker 1 (2:42) being able to say husband and not boyfriend at this age is such a relief. It feels like. Like so much of a burden has been taken off of my shoulders. There's no Speaker 2 (2:51) questions. Yeah, Speaker 1 (2:52) and I don't have to like do a caveat. It's just like he's my boyfriend. But we've been together. Yeah. Speaker 2 (2:59) How long were you together? Ten years. Ten years, yeah. Speaker 1 (3:02) Yeah. I Speaker 2 (3:03) have that same thing with living in L.A. Like I can't just tell people I live in L.A. Speaker 1 (3:09) I'm Speaker 2 (3:10) like, where do you live? Where's home? I live in L.A. I'm really a New Yorker. I was born in New Jersey. I'm really East Coast, but I've been only out here for 15 years. I think Speaker 1 (3:22) that happens with a lot of, I feel like I do that with Georgia, where I'm just like, I live in LA. I'm from Georgia originally, but I live in LA. Because Speaker 2 (3:32) LA is not really, yeah, it's not really a... Speaker 1 (3:35) It is home for me now, though, because I've lived here longer than I've lived anywhere else. Speaker 2 (3:39) You have. Yeah, Speaker 1 (3:40) because we were, I was... Five when we moved to Georgia. So then I lived there until I was 22. So that was 17 years. And now I've been here 25. Speaker 2 (3:50) 25. It's crazy. Jeez Louise. I know. Speaker 1 (3:53) Goes by fast. Speaker 2 (3:55) That's really fast. Speaker 1 (3:56) Yeah. How long have you lived out here? Speaker 2 (3:59) 67 years. Speaker 1 (4:01) Wow, that is a long time. You still can't find the restaurant that you like. You still don't know how to get anywhere. I Speaker 2 (4:08) still don't know the difference between Eagle Rock and... Los Feliz. Right. Speaker 1 (4:13) There's a difference. Speaker 2 (4:15) I don't know. Yeah, I still don't know neighborhoods. You Speaker 1 (4:18) know, when I first moved here, because I moved to LA in 2001, we had to have the Thomas guide to get around everywhere. Do you remember the Thomas guide? When I think of you, I always think of you moving here recently. Like to me, you've been a New Yorker and then you just moved here like during COVID or something. That's Speaker 2 (4:34) how I feel. Okay. That's literally how I feel. And I've been in this house for... Speaker 2 (4:42) 12 years, 13 years. And I had a house before that here. Speaker 1 (4:48) See, I think I just associate people with moving here when I met them. Speaker 2 (4:52) Yeah. Like when I met you Speaker 1 (4:53) maybe like 10 years ago. And I'm like, well, then that's probably when you moved here. Speaker 2 (4:57) Right. Right. Exactly. Because Speaker 1 (5:00) I would have known you before then. Speaker 2 (5:01) I do like that people don't really have a handle on it. Speaker 1 (5:04) No, I definitely don't. When Speaker 2 (5:06) people ask like, yeah. They don't know where you live. It means I don't get out much. But I do like that thing, you know? Speaker 1 (5:14) Yeah, I think, yeah. I just feel like living here, there's just so many different pockets. And, like, when I first started doing comedy and I would have the Thomas guide or I was, like, doing extra work, I would get directions to the location, but I would always not use directions to go home so that I always knew how to get places everywhere. Yeah, yeah. It's just something probably my dad taught me. I Speaker 2 (5:38) think Speaker 1 (5:39) also just being a woman, I always wanted to know where I was, where my surroundings are, which way is north. I just want to have my bearings in case I needed to escape. Speaker 2 (5:47) Run. Run for murder. Yeah. Speaker 1 (5:51) I'm not wearing a ponytail and I know how to run for murder. And yeah, so then I feel like I still do that even. Now I will load in the directions. It's just because I want to see what's the best route to take and how long it's going to take me to get there. Speaker 2 (6:06) Right, yeah. Speaker 1 (6:07) But I don't need the GPS to get to El Segundo. To Speaker 2 (6:10) figure it Speaker 1 (6:10) out. Right, Speaker 2 (6:11) yeah. I'm the opposite, where I now put on the GPS and let the self-driving do it, and I just kind of hang out. I'm not interested in driving. So Speaker 1 (6:23) you're totally fine with the self-driving. Speaker 2 (6:26) Completely fine. It's such a better driver than I am. It really is. Speaker 1 (6:31) I wish everybody would do it, honestly, because I hate so many of the drivers. It's Speaker 2 (6:35) so much, like when I'm out there, I know when it's a human. Speaker 1 (6:41) Because Speaker 2 (6:41) there's emotion behind it. Speaker 1 (6:43) There's Speaker 2 (6:43) like, you can feel all of it. Speaker 1 (6:45) Yeah. And Speaker 2 (6:46) the car is just, no, there's this much space. I'm taking this much space and I'm moving over here. Speaker 1 (6:51) People are really bad drivers out Speaker 2 (6:53) here. Speaker 1 (6:53) They're really bad. And they get aggressive, and then they get angry, and then I get angry at how aggressive they're being. Speaker 2 (7:00) Yeah, yeah. I Speaker 1 (7:01) have Speaker 2 (7:01) a Speaker 1 (7:01) child in the car. Speaker 2 (7:02) Yeah. But I Speaker 1 (7:02) think I have an automated drive feature in my new car, and I have not used it, and I'm too afraid. Speaker 2 (7:12) You're still, to take it over is just like this on the steering wheel, or just a tap on the brake. It's like you're still engaged. Speaker 1 (7:19) Okay. Speaker 2 (7:21) Up to a point. Then when you really trust it, you're not engaged at all. You're just kind of... Speaker 1 (7:25) Just falling asleep, doing work. Speaker 2 (7:29) Like anytime that there's been a report of like an accident or something, I know that they were just, you know, completely negligent. Speaker 1 (7:36) Yeah. Speaker 2 (7:37) These cars, they're so... Like they could see everywhere all the time. Like I come out of the studio and you got to get onto the main street and there's all these parked cars. And I can't see shit. I can't see past anything. But as long as the car's nose is out there, it's seeing everything. And it's like you look to the right, you look to the left. It's looking everywhere all at once. It's just so much better. Speaker 1 (8:00) Have you heard that Orny Adams joke about whenever, like how people get in car accidents all the time? He's like, yeah, of course, everyone's on their phone. But it makes me wonder how anyone ever got in a car accident. before cell phone. Speaker 2 (8:14) What were you doing? Speaker 1 (8:16) All you had to do was look at the road. Speaker 2 (8:19) There Speaker 1 (8:19) was nothing else to do. Speaker 2 (8:21) That's so funny. Such Speaker 1 (8:22) a Speaker 2 (8:22) funny joke. I had a great Orny run in. I was in Santa Fe, New Mexico, doing a show in the little Santa Fe. And this guy just walks by in a diner and it was a vacationing Orny Adams. He just stopped in front and I was like, oh, he knows me from comedy. And I look closer. It was Orny. He had sunglasses and board shorts and was just on vacation in Santa Fe, passing through. Speaker 1 (8:53) Santa Fe. Yeah. A destination vacation. Orny Adams. Love that. I love that for him. I Speaker 2 (8:59) know. I was really proud of him. Speaker 1 (9:01) I guess. But you were doing a club there. I Speaker 2 (9:04) was doing a show, a theater. You were doing a theater there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Was he immediately like, Speaker 1 (9:08) oh, they have a show here? Speaker 2 (9:09) Yeah. I Speaker 1 (9:11) just see him. I never imagined Orny ever taking a vacation. Speaker 2 (9:14) I know. That's what I mean. All he Speaker 1 (9:16) does is write and create. He always has something new. Speaker 2 (9:19) Yeah. No, he's always. To the point Speaker 1 (9:21) where I feel guilty. I don't want to be on shows with him because I don't want to feel guilty about how I have nothing new. Speaker 2 (9:27) Really? Yeah. Speaker 1 (9:29) But I mean, I also just want to like watch his stuff because he's so funny. But also I'm like, oh, I don't have anything. Yeah, Speaker 2 (9:36) I know. Right, exactly. What Speaker 1 (9:38) am I doing? Speaker 2 (9:39) I know. I had that. Yeah, I did this thing where I'm like, let me just work some local stuff so I can like work on things. And then you don't. Then you just show up and you're like, why am I here if I'm just going to do my best of, you know? Yeah, you have to be a little more bold. Speaker 1 (9:58) Yeah. And it's like I've written stuff down. You always have Speaker 2 (10:02) stuff, though. You write a ton. I Speaker 1 (10:05) feel like I write a lot of stuff, but not necessarily stand-up stuff. But then when I am performing, a lot of times I'm up so early that I don't feel like I really have the space to just try new stuff when I have the opening spot. Speaker 2 (10:23) Because you're, yeah. Speaker 1 (10:24) Because if I have a bad set, then it's like the rest of the people after me, it's going to be tough work for them. And I don't want it to be tough work Speaker 2 (10:32) for them. Well, screw them. It's really about, there is pressure in that first spot because, yeah, if you, yeah, there's just, you have to work, you have to do more. Because everyone's getting settled and they're getting in and doing their thing. Speaker 1 (10:47) I got a spot at 9.30 in the main room the other day and the show was at 9. And normally I'm the nine o'clock spot. I can't even remember the last time I've had a spot that wasn't the opening spot. And listen, I don't mind doing that spot because it's the only spot that's on time and it pays the same. And so I'm like, I'll do it. Speaker 2 (11:06) Nobody Speaker 1 (11:06) else wants to do it. I'll do it. Speaker 2 (11:08) But Speaker 1 (11:08) I went up at 930 and like just destroyed. And everyone was like, oh my gosh, that was so good. I go, yeah, I mean, this is what it would be like if I didn't start doing like. performing when people were still sitting down and ordering. No, Speaker 2 (11:25) it's so much easier. And there's been three comics up before you and it's Speaker 1 (11:29) all Speaker 2 (11:29) loosened up. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 1 (11:31) No, Speaker 2 (11:32) it's a lot easier. Speaker 1 (11:33) Yeah. It's just like, you know, in baseball, it's like if somebody has to come in from the bullpen cold, it's going to be a second before they might give up a home run. But Speaker 2 (11:42) that's what's always important because I'm always right after you. Speaker 1 (11:45) Yes. Speaker 2 (11:46) In town. Speaker 1 (11:47) You're welcome. Speaker 2 (11:47) Yeah. Really. And I'm always impressed because you're always, you always kill it. There's a lot of people that take that spot and, you know, it's, Speaker 1 (11:55) it's Speaker 2 (11:56) rough, but you always kill them. You're very. Speaker 1 (11:59) That's very nice of Speaker 2 (12:00) you. Well, Speaker 1 (12:00) I think that's very nice, but I also think I've had a lot of practice at it. But also, if I was booking the room, I would book me first, too. Like, I'm jolly and happy. With great Speaker 2 (12:09) jokes? Yeah. You're getting them into the rhythm of listening to good material? Speaker 1 (12:13) Yes, I do a bunch of jokes, and then some of them are smart, some of them are silly. You're not going to get mad Speaker 2 (12:19) at them in turn if it's... Speaker 1 (12:21) Telling them I'm not doing crowd work of any kind. Have you Speaker 2 (12:24) ever snapped on an audience? Speaker 1 (12:27) No, I did say something to an audience at Soho House Malibu a couple... months