Bedouine Was Devastated When She Left Saudi Arabia

Breaking Bread with Tom Papa

Tom Papa sits down with musician Azniv Korkejian, known as Bedouine, to discuss her new album and the personal history behind it. They explo

Key takeaways

• Azniv Korkejian's new album is a reflective project centered on themes of nostalgia, family history, and childhood memories.
• She grew up in Saudi Arabia as part of an Armenian family that moved to the US in 1995.

Main topics

• Music career and independence
• Childhood in Saudi Arabia

Notable quotes

I was so devastated as a kid. There was a couple of solid years where I was just like pretty sad and angsty.

Conclusion

The episode offers a moving look at how reclaiming one's past through

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:01) When I left Saudi, I was so devastated as a kid. There was a couple of solid years where I was just like pretty sad and angsty and like really hated my parents for like dragging me overseas and away from everything I knew. You know, I was just so far from understanding what had happened. And it was just so like earth shattering. Speaker 1 (0:22) It's Breaking Bread. Thank you so much for being here. This is really great. Speaker 2 (0:26) Thank you for having me. This is so nice. Speaker 1 (0:28) I know. The last time we saw each other was, I think, six years ago. God, Speaker 2 (0:33) I have no concept of time. Five, six years Speaker 1 (0:35) ago. Speaker 2 (0:35) Just before everything shut down? Speaker 1 (0:37) After it all shut down. Wait, Speaker 2 (0:39) really? Speaker 1 (0:39) Yeah. Speaker 2 (0:40) Oh, okay. Speaker 1 (0:41) Yeah. The Lager Show? Because I baked bread. Okay, I Speaker 2 (0:46) forgot about that visit. We Speaker 1 (0:47) were in Speaker 2 (0:47) lockdown. Okay, you generously handed me a loaf. You hand-delivered a loaf of bread. Speaker 1 (0:53) Yeah, I drove it to your house. That was how I was kind of... Looking back, I was keeping myself sane by keeping other people sane. And I would bake bread, and then there was no one on the roads. Speaker 2 (1:05) So I Speaker 1 (1:05) could just get to everybody really quickly. Speaker 2 (1:07) That's so sweet. I love that. And Speaker 1 (1:10) I baked bread for you and brought it over. And I remember, I didn't... Think about it until this morning. On the way there, because there were no cars on the 101, do you remember? There was a car upside down in the middle of the 101. I was driving, and this car was flipped over, and the people were safe off to the side. Speaker 2 (1:31) But Speaker 1 (1:31) it had this eerie kind of vibe to it, because there was just a car upside down, and no one was there helping yet. You don't remember that? No, Speaker 2 (1:40) did you tell me that when you hit it? I Speaker 1 (1:41) did, and you said how brave I was. Speaker 2 (1:43) Oh, really? To drive past it? Speaker 1 (1:46) To get to you and not help those people. How observant you are. Yeah. Speaker 2 (1:52) I don't remember that, but that doesn't surprise me. My memory is so, so bad. Is it? I was probably just so excited about the bread, which was delicious, by the way. Speaker 1 (2:00) Yeah, that was good. And you had your big German shepherd. Yeah, Speaker 2 (2:03) he's still around. He is? He's getting up there. Yeah. Speaker 1 (2:07) I Speaker 2 (2:07) think this might be his last year, which is a little heartbreaking. Are Speaker 1 (2:10) his hips going? Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 2 (2:13) And I've tried to find like different solutions. I don't know if you have any advice for me, but I've had like different, you know. Speaker 1 (2:20) Yeah. My brother-in-law used to use a towel just underneath his back and like wheelbarrow him out to the yard. I Speaker 2 (2:27) kind of do that, a manual sort of thing like that. Just stay on him. But he's so sweet and he's still like himself, you know. And so. Speaker 1 (2:36) That's the hard part with them. Yeah. They're so together, but they're just Speaker 2 (2:40) can't Speaker 1 (2:41) walk. Speaker 2 (2:42) So I don't know. We're finding solutions. We've got a little ramp to get to the yard and stuff like that. But he's doing good otherwise. Speaker 1 (2:51) Oh, that's good. Well, it's nice to see you again. Speaker 2 (2:53) It's nice to see you, too. I Speaker 1 (2:54) just got off the road, so I couldn't bake you bread, but I brought you Lodge bread. Speaker 2 (2:58) Okay. Speaker 1 (2:58) You are my favorite bread people. Speaker 2 (3:00) Okay, great. Yeah, so Speaker 1 (3:01) I'll send that home with you. Speaker 2 (3:03) Oh, amazing. Congratulations on Speaker 1 (3:05) the new album. Thanks. Yeah. Speaker 2 (3:08) Yeah, it's been a little over two months now. Speaker 1 (3:13) Right. Speaker 2 (3:13) And we're in this kind of funny lull between the record release and the tour. Because the record released in June, early June, June 5th. Yeah. If I remember correctly. And the tour doesn't really start until like... Well, actually, in a couple of weeks, I'm going to Europe. But American tour doesn't start until October. Speaker 1 (3:39) Oh, really? Yeah. Speaker 2 (3:40) So it's kind of a funny. There was lots going on around the record release month. And then now we're kind of in a lull, which is working out because there's so many logistics to plan for the tour. And then we'll kind of have this ramp up to that again. But right now, it's a weird in-between time. Speaker 1 (3:56) It was great just to see you coming out with more music. It's been a Speaker 2 (4:01) second. Speaker 1 (4:03) What? 2020? The Speaker 2 (4:05) first record? 2017? Speaker 1 (4:07) No, the last one. Oh, the last one. 2021. Yeah, so Speaker 2 (4:10) it was like very much pandemic times. And it was, I don't think that I would have done that had it not been for the pandemic, because that was very much like a pandemic project. Speaker 1 (4:19) Right. Speaker 2 (4:20) It was, you know, like your bread. Like I had to figure something out to deliver to people. Speaker 1 (4:26) Yeah. Speaker 2 (4:27) So that I didn't go insane. Right. Yeah. So that was my bread music. Yeah. And it's been a second. Yeah, there's been a lot of life happening, but also a lot of like rebuilding. I got done with like my fulfilled my. my last record label deal and my publishing deal. And, and so it was a lot of just kind of like rebuilding, trying to think about how I wanted to do this way. You wrap Speaker 1 (4:53) those up. You mean? Yeah, Speaker 2 (4:55) it was all done contractually. And so like, there's a lot of like, you know, shopping the record, also deciding if I wanted to put it out myself, which I essentially have done, which I think was the right decision. And, but there was a lot to like contemplate and rebuild and stuff too. Speaker 1 (5:11) Does having a label. Mean less now? Like, what they can do for you now? Like, it seems like... That's the Speaker 2 (5:18) question. Because just from the Speaker 1 (5:21) outside, Speaker 2 (5:21) there's Speaker 1 (5:23) no difference in your release this time than the other times. Speaker 2 (5:28) Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Well, I'm intrigued to get outside perspectives because I'm too close to it to know. But it's interesting that you should say that. Speaker 1 (5:38) Yeah, you just get hit up that you have new music out. Yeah, yeah. And then Spotify delivers it. You Speaker 2 (5:45) mean like on socials and Speaker 1 (5:45) stuff? Yeah, on socials. Yeah, Speaker 2 (5:46) yeah, Speaker 1 (5:46) yeah. And it just kind of comes out. And it's like, I don't know if a marketing department would have gotten to me any better than... Speaker 2 (5:54) Yeah, yeah. However you Speaker 1 (5:55) did it. I know what you Speaker 2 (5:57) mean. I mean, I think that nobody's going to care as much as you do about your art, right? And so if you have the time and if you're resourceful. And you're willing to put in, because it is a lot of work. And it's also like a confidence thing. I'm lucky to have a lot of friends that I lean on for feedback. Speaker 1 (6:19) Right. Speaker 2 (6:21) But I think that ideally that's built into a label maybe if you go with a label. Because Speaker 1 (6:26) I Speaker 2 (6:27) could still see someone really being enthusiastic about the label system if there's people at the label that you really click with. Right. enjoy talking to and brainstorming with because that's essentially what it is. It feels like it's all just brainstorming. I have close friends that are also very independent with their own projects. And so we have a nice little, very unofficial collective of like getting together and bouncing ideas and, you know, getting, getting feedback and stuff. Right. Speaker 1 (6:57) Right. I Speaker 2 (6:57) don't know. That's like kind of my answer to that, but I'm always curious. I always ask musicians that. too yeah Speaker 1 (7:03) i mean just as a fan it's like you know we're seeing it with comedy too there's a lot yeah i Speaker 2 (7:09) was gonna ask what's the yeah there's like a Speaker 1 (7:10) lot of people that you know can't get a for whatever reason the timing isn't right to get a deal with like a streamer or something to put out their thing so they just put it out on youtube and have their you know publicists set up interviews and everybody knows it and you know they get tons of views and it all kind of We have so much in our own hands now. Are Speaker 2 (7:33) streaming platforms for movies and shows and stuff, is that analogous to the record labels, do you think? Speaker 1 (7:44) Yeah, because they platform it and then they somewhat market it and push it. And yeah, that's definitely it. And then if you go independent... you just put it out yourself or just put out clips on social media and and Speaker 2 (8:01) youtube is like kind of like the streaming like the diy streaming yeah right exactly Speaker 1 (8:06) yeah or just your just your cell phone and you'd put one joke up and you know oh yeah millions of people see it something goes viral and then yeah do you think Speaker 2 (8:17) when people do that then they get hit up by streaming platforms to like tease something out bigger or because that's what happens in music too I mean that's Speaker 1 (8:25) yeah if they're really big like if it gets really if it gets if their if their audience really It's up to you to bring the audience down. Yeah. Speaker 2 (8:34) Well, that's the thing I think about it is that everything's so direct to consumer. And so I think a lot of times also labels, they kind of want to see something work on its own and then put fuel on the fire rather than like... Speaker 2 (8:50) Cultivate it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 1 (8:52) I know. From scratch. So Speaker 2 (8:54) if you, I don't know. So like, if you can do that for yourself, which is what you have to do anyway. Anyway. Speaker 1 (8:59) So Speaker 2 (8:59) why? I don't know. I think there's just varies depending on people's lifestyles or what their goals are. If they want a lump sum of money, maybe that works for them. Or if Speaker 1 (9:10) they Speaker 2 (9:11) feel like they need that community. I don't know. Speaker 1 (9:15) Yeah. Well, the album's beautiful. Thank Speaker 2 (9:18) you. It's Speaker 1 (9:18) really great. Speaker 2 (9:19) Thanks. Speaker 1 (9:20) It seems like it's a little more reflective in a way. Speaker 2 (9:24) I would say so, yeah. Speaker 1 (9:25) Right? Yeah. Your other ones were a little more just thematically. Speaker 2 (9:32) And I Speaker 1 (9:33) might be off. No, no. But Speaker 2 (9:34) it Speaker 1 (9:34) seems a little more like life reflective where the other ones were a little more romantic. Speaker 2 (9:39) Yeah, yeah. I think that's a fair statement. This is certainly the first time I've ever sat down with Speaker 2 (9:45) somewhat of an intention for the whole record in terms of like subject matter and what what happened or the way it kind of got started was that I was my parents were decided to retire from their work in Saudi Arabia which is my my where I grew up kind of my childhood stomping grounds my dad We all moved to the States when we were young, but then he eventually went back and took his old job back. And I had been visiting him quite a bit, a lot more than I ever expected to be able to visit him because I was starting to tour and going to Europe. So every trip to Europe, I would tag on this trip to Saudi Arabia, see my parents, revert to... my childhood, you know, and mom did the laundry and brought me trays of food and, you know, all the things that Armenian parents do. Speaker 1 (10:40) And Speaker 2 (10:41) I just like, you know, I really, I'm still kind of like a kid. Yeah, Speaker 1 (10:49) a Speaker 2 (10:49) child. Yeah, I'm still a child, just cosplaying as an adult. And so like, it was very sentimental to me to be able to go back, you know, to some place that... Easily feels inaccessible. Speaker 1 (11:02) Yeah. So just the timeline of it. They went back or he went back or they went back? He Speaker 2 (11:11) went back first by himself and then she joined him. Speaker 1 (11:13) And how old were you when he went back? Speaker 2 (11:15) I had just started college, so I was about 18. Speaker 1 (11:18) So you had been here for? Speaker 2 (11:20) So we've been in the state. I'll give you like a cohesive timeline. Because it's very confusing. Born in Syria. Yeah. Born in Syria, but just born. Family was already living in Saudi Arabia. I was just born there to be like born among family. Right. Because two of my older brothers, they were both born in Saudi Arabia without my grandmothers and cousins around and stuff. So I was just born in Syria. We grew up in Saudi Arabia. Speaker 2 (11:52) But my parents are Armenian. Speaker 1 (11:54) Right. Speaker 2 (11:55) And my family won the green card lottery. So we moved eventually to America in 95 when I was about 10. Speaker 1 (12:04) Oh, 10. Okay. Speaker 2 (12:05) And then we were in Texas. We were in Massachusetts for a year and then moved to Texas. And that's where I went to middle school and high school. And then I went to college in California at first. Really took my time with college, though. Yeah. It took eight years on and off to just discover different places and majors and stuff. But as soon as I went to California for college, my dad decided to take his old job back, his old position in Saudi. So he moved back. My mom, maybe a year or so later, joined him, sold the house in Houston. And so we were just all kind of splintered. Speaker 2 (12:49) And I didn't really get to visit them much initially because it's so far and it's just a big trip to make. Speaker 1 (12:58) But Speaker 2 (12:59) I unexpectedly, eventually, a while later, started touring, found myself in Europe way more than I'd ever expected to. Speaker 1 (13:07) Right. Speaker 2 (13:08) And would just like, you know, and then when the tour is done, I don't know if this is your experience, but like... Pretty flexible outside of tour schedules. You kind of get to decide Speaker 1 (13:18) if Speaker 2 (13:19) you don't have any other obligations, which I rarely did. It was kind of up to you to make a schedule for yourself, whether it was writing or recording. Speaker 1 (13:27) Or going on vacation in Saudi Arabia. Speaker 2 (13:30) Yeah. So what I did was just went to go see my parents every chance I got. Because I really just love being in a house with them. Speaker 2 (13:43) Would visit once, about once or maybe even twice a year in the adult years. Yeah. And then it came time for my parents to retire. And I had really big feelings about that that hit me quite later. And I just felt really sad about that. And I think that maybe mixed with the pandemic and all my tours getting canceled and things like that. Yeah. I had time to really address that sadness. And that's when I started writing. The very first song actually is the first song on the record that I wrote, which kickstarted the album and the concept, which was like... you know, grieving your childhood, looking back on it and your relationship to your family, what happens when, you know, family members, you know, they splinter, like they peel off or whether it's, you know, for personal ambitions or, you know, political turmoil in the countries. And we've had both of that, both of those things. So Yeah, I had a lot of time to reflect on that. And I decided that for the first time I would write a record that was, I don't know if you'd call it a concept record. I don't think that's really it. But it's really a cohesive collection of work. Speaker 1 (15:05) Yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 (15:08) When I last saw you around that time, it was like when we were coming out of the pandemic. And, you know, I remember, you know, some people were like doing whatever and some people were like really getting insular and some people were getting reflective. I didn't realize on top of the pandemic, you had all these other... thoughts going on, but I do remember, I do remember you being a little pensive. I wasn't just like Speaker 2 (15:29) sobbing while I accepted your bread. Speaker 1 (15:31) No, we had a very nice time when I came to see you, but I remember seeing you posting and stuff. Speaker 2 (15:36) You were Speaker 1 (15:37) a little more reflective at that time. I remember, I Speaker 2 (15:40) remember Speaker 1 (15:40) seeing you, yeah, you seemed a little, yeah, a little more pensive. Speaker 2 (15:45) Oh, interesting. Yeah. I mean, there was a lot of time. I had a lot of time on my hands. It was just really, at one point I was, I, compared it to just like a canvas, just getting like, like layers of paint just peeled off Speaker 1 (15:57) or you're Speaker 2 (15:58) just like, you know, how do you define yourself? Is it by the things that you do? Is, is it by your hobbies? Is it by your job? Your, and all that stuff was just like, yeah, Speaker 1 (16:07) just Speaker 2 (16:08) disappearing. Yeah. Speaker 1 (16:09) And Speaker 2 (16:09) so it was, you know, yeah. You couldn't perform Speaker 1 (16:12) and yeah. All that stuff. Speaker 2 (16:15) And so I, I was thinking a lot about like identity for sure. Yeah. Speaker 1 (16:18) It's, it's, That trip that like you're you're moving and being, you know, you have nothing under your control at 10 and you're just, you're just, I moved once from in third grade from one town to the next town over and I'm still getting over it. Speaker 2 (16:42) It's a big deal. It was a big Speaker 1 (16:44) deal. It's Speaker 2 (16:45) a big deal. It was third Speaker 1 (16:45) grade and it was like all my friends and I had to leave my house and everything that I built up. And I was just like, and yeah, it was a big deal. Let Speaker 2 (16:53) me ask you this. Did your parents like sit you down and like talk to you about what was about to happen? Speaker 1 (16:59) I don't think so. I think it was, hey, we're going. Speaker 2 (17:02) Yeah. Grab your shit. Yeah. We're going to go look at the new house. Yeah, yeah. And Speaker 1 (17:07) it was like you went and looked at the new house, but you didn't. But Speaker 2 (17:09) you don't Speaker 1 (17:10) really register like what that means. No, you have no idea. But, you know, think about when you're 10, like the world, it's just you're trying to find your place in it. And everything's, that's why everything always looks bigger. Everything looks smaller when you go back. Yes, Speaker 2 (17:28) I experienced that. Right? Inside, in the kitchen. You're like, wait, the cabinets are here. They used to be there. Yeah, Speaker 1 (17:34) right. And everything's like this. Speaker 2 (17:36)