Zoë Foster Blake, how fun are your 40s?! Perimenopause, ADHD and female friendships

Beyond the Bump

In this episode of Beyond the Bump, hosts Jade Goodwell and Sophie Pearce interview author and entrepreneur Zoë Foster Blake. The conversati

Key takeaways

• Zoë discusses how an ADHD diagnosis and medication have significantly improved her ability to manage tasks and 'close loops'.
• The physical impact of perimenopause, including joint pain and temperature regulation issues, is discussed as a major life shift.

Main topics

• Perimenopause and HRT
• ADHD diagnosis and management

Notable quotes

When your kid's a little, you're their sun... And as they turn into teenagers, you become the moon.

Conclusion

The episode serves as an empowering guide for women navigating the com

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) This episode is proudly sponsored by Tony's, the world's leading screen-free audio platform for kids. Stories, songs, games and adventures, all without a screen in sight. We Speaker 3 (0:12) would like to acknowledge the Bundjalung people, traditional custodians of this land where we record this podcast, and we pay our respects to elders past and present. Speaker 2 (0:26) Hello, beautiful bumpies. Welcome to Beyond the Bump, a podcast brought to you by Jay Goodwell and Sophie Pearce. This podcast is targeted at mums, mums-to-be and Speaker 3 (0:37) women in general. And gents, feel free to have a listen too. It's a place to have real discussions and ask real questions, no matter how hard, with honest and authentic conversations that leave you feeling lighter, more supported and more understood after every listen. We Speaker 2 (0:52) began as your go-to baby podcast and we're still right there with you in the... think of it but now we're growing with you and your kids too from Speaker 3 (0:58) newborn chaos to raising tweens and teens from identity shifts to perimenopause and everything in between we're Speaker 2 (1:05) here to support the full ride of womanhood and as always we can't promise that it will always be kept pg so please be mindful around little ears Here we go. Speaker 3 (1:15) Hello Zoe Foster-Blake and welcome to Beyond the Bump podcast. Before we get started, can you please tell our beautiful bumpies, if they don't know who you are or much about you, this is the hardest question of the day. Who are you? Great. Hi, I'm Zoe. Speaker 1 (1:30) I'm an author and I also created a skincare company called GoTo and I'm a mum and a wife and a woman person. That's fantastic. I love women Speaker 2 (1:41) people. I actually had your going to lip balm on the table and Sophie goes, oh, Jade. Please put that away. That is embarrassing. I don't know if you're seeing someone from like a clothing brand Speaker 3 (1:52) and you go with like, I love your brand across the church. But you also don't Speaker 1 (1:58) want Speaker 3 (1:58) to wear a competitive brand. No. So you go naked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Speaker 1 (2:01) naked. We're big Speaker 3 (2:02) fans. Now I said to Jade, I was going to just ask for you guys to allow me to just have like five minutes of uncool at the start. Please let her go. And then I was going to get cool and act like this is no big deal and be effortless and all of that. When we started this podcast, you know, every year it needs to be, you need to chat, you need to go, now who would be your dream guest? A challenge. And I'm not saying you're not Jade's guest, but a dream guest, but I am going to claim you have from the start been my one day where you're going to chat to Zoe. Yeah. And here you are. And I wanted to talk a bit about the origin story of how this came to be. We came down to Sydney to go to a go-to event and I was like, oh my gosh. I don't fangirl, but I'm going to fangirl tonight. We walk in two minutes into meeting you. Jade throws me under the bus and goes, Soph. Zoe, Sophie's got something she wants to ask you. And Speaker 2 (2:53) I was like, you? What a witch. Speaker 3 (2:55) Mole. Yeah, Speaker 2 (2:56) it was moley. We've Speaker 3 (2:57) literally said, hey, how are you? And the Speaker 2 (2:59) next Speaker 3 (3:00) thing, anyway, you gave this answer that could only be described as what it sounds like when my kids ask for an ice cream and I know I'm not going to give them the ice cream. No, no, this is funny. This is good. I Speaker 2 (3:12) keep Speaker 3 (3:12) going. It was Speaker 2 (3:13) like, you know. Yeah, maybe. Oh, about Speaker 3 (3:16) being Speaker 2 (3:16) on the pod? Yeah, you were like, oh, I don't really do. Speaker 3 (3:18) No, this made it even better though, right? Yeah, Speaker 2 (3:21) this Speaker 3 (3:21) was a challenge. Speaker 2 (3:22) So as soon as you said this, this was the moment we went challenge accepted. We were going to spend the night and it wasn't like a deliberate we're going to spend the night trying to convince you to come on to our pod, but we kind of did have that challenge, didn't we? Yeah, and 45 Speaker 3 (3:35) minutes later you turned to us and Speaker 2 (3:36) it was like Speaker 3 (3:37) an extra win when you went. hey guys i really want to come on the podcast what changed in the 40 Speaker 1 (3:43) how did we win you over in the 45 minutes Speaker 3 (3:45) i Speaker 1 (3:46) did i felt i mean we just sort of didn't talk to anybody else no naughty because i meant to move around the room but everyone there was a good time it was i was sat next to you girls and we just went deep didn't we yeah and i think that's where we brought up dr fatima and perimenopause and just motherhood and i loved getting to know you and i'm being a country girl I'll always tend to gravitate towards the realness and the like a bit rat's ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I love this is me. Rat's Speaker 2 (4:14) ass. Speaker 3 (4:14) I Speaker 2 (4:15) just like no veneer, Speaker 1 (4:17) like Speaker 2 (4:17) no filter, no veneer, just having Speaker 1 (4:19) a good time. And I don't get out much. My husband won't. Really? No, I have my friends, of course, and my family. Particularly when you're writing a book, it's very insular. You're so isolated. And then when you finally come out to do some press or with GoTo, we get out of the office and meet the people. You're like, oh, I love women. Speaker 2 (4:37) This is why I do it. Speaker 1 (4:38) And I came home so energised. Oh, yeah. Speaker 2 (4:41) God, Speaker 1 (4:41) I really should do that more often. So Speaker 2 (4:43) take us back to pre-kid life, early 2000s. You were Speaker 1 (4:47) amongst the magazine culture. Yes, Speaker 2 (4:49) the Speaker 1 (4:49) healthy Speaker 2 (4:50) days. How Speaker 1 (4:50) was it? It was... Epic and I being a little country bumpkin I moved up to Sydney when I was 17 for a weird gap year that got me nowhere but it was really quite an important step of my life to be super broke and lonely. Then I started uni, did media and comms and then went into mags and I just went straight into kids mags Speaker 2 (5:10) and Speaker 1 (5:10) music mags, any magazine job I could get and then ended up in the hallowed halls of Cosmo and then Harper's and then defected to online. But I... was there when it was peak. It was so fun. I wrote a book about it, Air Kisses, because I just couldn't believe that my job as a beauty editor was to receive products and test them and write about it. Speaker 2 (5:30) Like, it Speaker 1 (5:31) sounds made up. It's a dream. How does Speaker 3 (5:33) a country bumpkin get an interest in that? I didn't have an interest in it. Oh, wow. So when I Speaker 1 (5:38) applied for the job at Cosmo, I didn't know anything about beauty. I didn't even know what a beauty editor was. I just wanted to work with Mia and in that team and in those halls. And I think she liked the fact that I knew nothing because that outsider perspective can sometimes be really fun. And as it turned out, I ended up writing beauty in a way that kind of became my trademark, which was quite conversational and irreverent and like, I don't know anything about this shit. Let's learn together. What's a highlighter? I don't know. Do you know? Come on, Jessica Simpson wears it. I mean, this is 2004. That is a relative reference. Speaker 3 (6:10) But Speaker 1 (6:10) it was amazing. And, you know, we got sent on all these trips and jungles. We were the original influencers in beauty, I guess, and now it's actual influencers. But it was amazing. Loved it. Speaker 3 (6:19) How good. And then so what's the origin story of you and Hamish? Where did you guys meet? We Speaker 1 (6:24) met in those days actually at an event that I was there representing Cosmo, and he and Andy were. I was 23 and they were, it was a pretty terrible male body spray and they were hosting and they were really funny. Speaker 3 (6:39) As in like centered or a male impulse. Yeah, Speaker 2 (6:43) yeah, Speaker 3 (6:43) yeah. Speaker 1 (6:45) And I just thought they were really funny and I had just broken up from like a five-year relationship so I was like having the time Speaker 2 (6:51) of my life. Yeah, good on you. And Speaker 1 (6:52) we just became friends. Actually, all three of us and four of us and all my friends. The Melbourne boys would get together a lot and then Hamish and I, we didn't get together for like seven or eight years after that. Speaker 3 (7:02) Really? What changed? A lot. How did he get out of the friend zone? We had Speaker 1 (7:06) a Speaker 3 (7:06) lot Speaker 1 (7:07) of, Speaker 3 (7:07) no, Speaker 1 (7:07) we had a lot of living to do. Yeah. And he was in Melbourne and I didn't think of him in that way. No offence, honey, if you're listening, which you won't Speaker 3 (7:14) be. Speaker 1 (7:14) I think you've proven that like you've gotten over that and you're quite Speaker 3 (7:17) into Speaker 1 (7:17) him now. Yes. I mean, I Speaker 3 (7:19) think there was a couple of years where you weren't as into him, but we'll get to that too. But he Speaker 1 (7:22) felt like a best, he was a best friend. and we had our own partners and we had different lives and then we just sort of figured it out you know but i needed to figure it out and he needed to figure it out totally and i think when you get out of a relationship Speaker 2 (7:35) you Speaker 1 (7:35) need Speaker 2 (7:36) that space to be like hang on i need to know who i am without that person yeah i need to be single yeah someone can't come in and go yeah do this because i went through something similar If you do not have time for yourself in between relationships, you really do not know what you like and what you and who you want to be. You Speaker 1 (7:54) need time Speaker 2 (7:54) to do Speaker 1 (7:55) goddess cards, guys. What's this? I loved it. Whenever I was single, I would go deep into like goddess cards, which are like sort of a form of tarot. Yeah. And I would read all these books and go on courses and do laughter club with my mum. It's a thing. And just, you know, you find yourself. And I always, I wrote about relationships and dating. I've written three books on the topic and I loved it. obsessed I still really enjoy that side of my writing but I don't really do it anymore but that idea of single is like treat it like it's limited edition treat it like it's just here for a fleeting amount of time so make the absolute most of it I love that um because I just arrogantly or you know spiritually just knew that it would work out And I just had to enjoy being single for a while. I've Speaker 2 (8:38) seen my Libra horoscope recently and September's looking pretty good. Speaker 1 (8:43) With your Speaker 3 (8:44) husband or elsewhere? All Speaker 1 (8:46) aspects. Yeah, same as Aaliyah. I mean, this Speaker 3 (8:49) is Speaker 1 (8:49) a good year for us. Good time. Did you and Haim, what did... Oh, Speaker 2 (8:53) Maureen's saying Haim. Oh, dropping the Speaker 3 (8:54) Haim. And everyone goes in there. Hey, because I think we have a social relationship. Yeah, absolutely. What did parenthood look like for you guys before you became parents? Was that something you spoke about? Speaker 1 (9:07) Not really. I think once we got together, though, we knew it was just that's it. We're on. And I was I'm a sniff older than him, which he loves to raise. I'm 18 months older than him. So I was sort of ready to get started on that a bit earlier than him, maybe. and sort of as I always do just took the reins and I didn't know how long it would take. So yeah, I think I felt pregnant at 32 or 33. So he was a little younger, but he's, you know, he's Speaker 2 (9:34) a Speaker 1 (9:34) little, he would have had a lot more kids if I was up for it. Yeah, really interesting. Not, not as like a point of contention, but he just, he loves kids. No, Speaker 2 (9:42) it's just interesting because my husband's like, no, we're at capacity. And I'm like, I would love to, but Speaker 1 (9:47) he's like, yeah. I think there's also like the deeper roots of the female artist and as a writer you have to reserve something for yourself and I give all Speaker 2 (9:57) my love to Speaker 1 (9:57) those darlings and I love them so much and I would worry about bandwidth of having another one in the house without creative careers and so we feel very happy at a functioning four. Do Speaker 2 (10:07) you know we get a question every now and then and it's always like should I have a third? or additional it's Speaker 3 (10:16) often Speaker 2 (10:16) the third hey and i had this realization usually i have these realizations when i go on a walk i have these creative like ideas or just these things come to me and i was like you know what i think i've always been very quick to be like no don't don't do it but what it comes down to is your like inspirations in life how far you want to climb the the business ladder, the entrepreneurial ladder, whatever you're doing. And also the support that you have, like there are so many things that come into play here. And I think maybe because it was just so recent and so fresh and I was in the depths of it, it was very easy for me to say no. But I think that when I look at my life in this. oh, you know what, if I slowed my pace down and I actually wanted to prioritize this slow way of living rather than this other way, Speaker 1 (11:10) I Speaker 2 (11:11) actually see myself with another child, but it would have to be in that flow, not the one that I'm in now. That is. profound Speaker 1 (11:18) that is really emotionally involved Speaker 2 (11:20) to land that yeah Speaker 1 (11:21) no it really is at your age especially because I think a lot of us look back reflectively and realize that 10 years after the fact and go oh maybe if I wasn't such a psycho and trying to do 15 things at once I could have had this face for another child but Speaker 3 (11:35) yeah I I'm Speaker 1 (11:36) happy with where I'm at I always thought I'd have two I don't know why that was just always my number I think also Speaker 3 (11:42) motherhood's always sold to us as this entirely heart act you know it's all about compassion and sacrifice and love when I mean so much of this came up the other week when we spoke to Dr Fatima about what is required of women or expected of women or the options we have as women nowadays and really we have to go into it especially children and more children there has to be an element of your head in the game as well oh Speaker 1 (12:11) my god more so Speaker 3 (12:12) than you know our partners would ever have to think you know they're still going to think about they're still going to have to go through sleep different deprivation and the financial side of things but you can't ignore the We are changed through each child and it does have to be, which I think makes it hard. I think if it was a soul head game, that's one thing. Soul heart game, that's another thing. But it's somewhere in the middle which I think makes it so Speaker 1 (12:37) challenging. Yes, and the women before us did the best they could with what they had, but they weren't facing the modern life that we are as parents. They don't have information coming at them from every... digital channel that they encounter they don't have the pressure and the whatsapp and the parent whatsapp the school i just said Speaker 2 (12:59) do you know what i hate you know what i hate so i think she's like what and i'm like i hate Speaker 1 (13:02) whatsapp i hate the groups very annoying in terms of like the constant interruption for your brain and the distraction. So and I think that what the schools are asking for and the devices and so and there's a lot more pressure on our children as well. So I think we are just in a completely uncharted territory. We're all doing our best, but I'm not saying it's healthy because it's a lot. And the mental load for me is insane and real. And my husband is a cupcake. He would help and do whatever he would possibly be able to contribute. But I cannot. I have to do it. So do visualize Hamish as a cupcake. This is my cross to Speaker 2 (13:38) bear. I'm like, I want it done my way. So Speaker 1 (13:40) I'm going to do it. I'll do the lunches. I'm going to do what school had me. So, I mean, I just run myself in circles in that sense. But I agree. And as strivers, which you are, as women who are advancing their career at the same time as having young children. that's another level as well. Because Speaker 3 (13:54) that was a question I was going to ask you ever since you've both been parents, you've both worked big jobs and big careers and this may be parasocial or it may be reality that you both seem to be very involved, you know, have a lot of, yeah, have a Speaker 1 (14:10) privilege choice. Yeah, Speaker 3 (14:11) but prioritize quality time as a family. How have you juggled that? Speaker 1 (14:18) Well, they'll take us, of course. And then we're very aware of that and that's always in the back of our mind. You know, my son's 12 now and I can feel the pull away. I'm grieving that because it's intense and I wasn't ready for that at all. Intellectually understanding, of course, as a teenager, it's Speaker 2 (14:32) his Speaker 1 (14:32) job. Yeah, Speaker 3 (14:33) but you just Speaker 1 (14:33) don't, you don't expect hard to know Speaker 3 (14:35) that. But you hear Speaker 1 (14:35) everyone else's kids pulling away from them but you go, oh, but that Speaker 3 (14:37) would never be me in my child. Speaker 1 (14:39) Yeah, yeah. So, yes, I'm feeling that and my daughters, you know, I think girls are a lot. Generally speaking quite emotionally involved and that's gonna happen even earlier with her as a nine-year-old. So yes I think we were able to make the choice I mean I I hustled and worked so hard in my 20s and early 30s that I can have the privilege and the luxury to be self-employed and work when I need to So it is a choice and but I remember well your kids are little but people