Chad | Betrayal Weekly

Betrayal Weekly

Chad Cullum's story begins as a romantic journey across continents, where he meets Misaki in Vancouver and falls deeply in love. After years

Key takeaways

• Love and trust can be weaponized by powerful institutions and individuals under the guise of tradition and legality.

Main topics

• Long-distance love and international marriage
• Immigration processes and K-1 visa challenges

Notable quotes

"I felt like a horror movie to me because we're driving in darkness."

Conclusion

Chad's journey from romantic idealism to disillusionment reveals how deeply flawed systems can betray

Transcript preview

Speaker 8 (0:00) This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Speaker 7 (0:05) If you're seeking to try to understand the forensic science behind these cases that we hear about in the news, Body Bags is where you need to turn. There's no fluff. We do a deep dive into the forensics. Listen to Body Bags with Joseph Scott Morgan on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search Body Bags with Joseph Scott Morgan and start listening. Speaker 6 (0:35) In February of 2024, celebrated illustrator and children's book author Petra Mathers and her husband Michael mailed letters to dozens of friends and family members to let them know they had died by suicide. Speaker 1 (0:46) Dear honeys, Speaker 6 (0:47) this is goodbye. By the time you get this letter, both Petra and I will be dead. Next stop, Wonderland. Why did they do it? And what did it do to the people they left behind? Listen to Death of an Artist on the iHeartRadio app. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 6 (1:06) On Big Lives, we take a single cultural icon. People like Jane Fonda, George Michael, Little Richard. And we pull apart the story behind the image, discovering forgotten interviews that change exactly how we see these giants of our culture. We're here for the messy, the brilliant, the human version of our heroes. I'm Emmanuel Jochi. I'm Kai Wright. And this is Big Lives. Listen to Big Lives on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 4 (1:35) Welcome to Decoding Women's Health. I'm Dr. Elizabeth Poynter, Chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Adria Health Institute in New York City. I'll be talking to top researchers and clinicians and bringing vital information about midlife women's health directly to you. A hundred percent of women go through menopause. Even if it's natural, why should we suffer through it? Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Dr. Elizabeth Poynter on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 3 (2:09) My mind is racing. We have another person who is absolutely trying to sabotage this. But why? Speaker 8 (2:35) I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that Speaker 2 (2:42) change everything. Just a note before we begin. In this episode, we discuss domestic violence and child abuse. Please take care when listening. Speaker 2 (2:56) Today's story came to us from one of our colleagues who works on another Glass podcast. It's called Burden of Guilt. Season three of Burden of Guilt is out now. It tells the shocking story of a parent who was willing to destroy a family to get what they wanted. While our colleagues were producing that story, they came across another case with disturbing parallels. When we heard Chad's story, we thought it was about abuse within one family. But that wasn't where the betrayals ended. It ended up shining the light on alarming corruption. This is Chad Cullum's story. Speaker 8 (3:36) It was 2006, and Chad Cullum was on a road trip. He started at his home in Colorado and drove north. Speaker 1 (3:44) I left in the middle of the night. And by the time the sun rose, I was going up through Idaho and over towards Oregon. Speaker 8 (3:56) Chad was 18 years old. He had been living in his hometown, Colorado Springs. Recently, Chad had been feeling restless. Speaker 1 (4:04) I felt trapped in a small town. I just needed to experience new things and go new places and taste new food. So I thought, What's the furthest place I can go to from here? Speaker 8 (4:18) He immediately thought of Vancouver, Canada. It sounded like a fun road trip destination. So he got in his car and started driving. Speaker 1 (4:27) And the best way I could describe that car is that it drove like a boat. sluggish movements and the whole thing leaned to the side when you turned. Speaker 8 (4:36) When he got to Seattle, he'd been driving solo for over a day. Speaker 1 (4:41) I am tired. Red circles around my eyes. Probably my fourth or fifth Red Bull. It started raining hard. So all I could do was just pull over in a parking lot at a 7-Eleven. Speaker 8 (4:55) The next day, with renewed energy, he made it to his final destination, Vancouver. Chad hadn't done any research, and he wasn't sure where to start. So he picked a random street corner, parked his car, and got out, ready to explore. Speaker 1 (5:12) There was a bunch of people outside. And there was an English as a second language school there. Speaker 8 (5:21) The students hanging out on the street noticed Chad wandering around and struck up a conversation. They were all around the same age. Speaker 1 (5:30) They just opened up like, hey, you know, what are you up to? Speaker 8 (5:33) He got into a longer conversation with one student named Misaki. After talking for a while, she suggested they go grab some food. I Speaker 1 (5:43) thought, all right, you know, let's let's go do that because, you know, I have no idea where I'm going. We went to Red Robin and got a hamburger. Speaker 2 (5:53) Over hamburgers and fries, Speaker 8 (5:54) Chad and Misaki got to know each other. Misaki told Chad she was just in Vancouver for a summer course. Speaker 1 (6:02) She's from Japan, and her English was pretty good. So, I mean, it's not like she was struggling to communicate. Speaker 8 (6:10) Misaki was an art history major. That was exciting for Chad, because... Speaker 1 (6:15) I was also in school for 3D animation and computer art. It gave us a lot of common ground to talk about. She was very well-spoken and seemed really intelligent. Speaker 8 (6:30) Misaki was staying with a host family, but she wasn't getting along with them. So that night, she stayed with Chad in his hotel room. She stayed there the next night and the next. Speaker 1 (6:42) We spent a lot of time together. We got along very well. Speaker 8 (6:48) They adventured around Vancouver together. Once, they got on the wrong bus and got completely lost. Speaker 1 (6:55) This bus ended up taking us, like, through the countryside, like, two hours or something out of the way. Speaker 8 (7:02) They laughed when they realized they were surrounded by fields, miles away from their original destination. Speaker 1 (7:08) We didn't really care because we were just enjoying the moment. Watching the sunset from this bus window. She started telling me a lot more about herself, her family, how she grew up, talking about hopes and dreams. Speaker 2 (7:24) Their flings started to become more serious. But both of them were only in Vancouver short term. Speaker 8 (7:30) In fact, Misaki was headed back to Japan at the end of that week. Speaker 1 (7:35) Went to the Vancouver airport and dropped her off. She had bought me this souvenir piggy bank. And she wrote on this, visit me in Japan. And she wrote our names on it. Speaker 8 (7:53) Misaki boarded her flight and Chad began the long drive back to Colorado. They stayed in touch and started dating long distance. Speaker 1 (8:02) I would go to like a 7-Eleven and get an international prepaid phone card. And then I would have to call from a pay phone. Speaker 8 (8:11) A month later, Misaki flew to Colorado to visit him. She stayed for a whole month. Speaker 1 (8:18) She was willing to fly across the world to come see me and spend the money to do it. I felt like, okay, this is really something. And we both were saying I love you to each other. Speaker 8 (8:32) They dated long distance for four years and fell deeper in love. The only problem was they were across the world from each other. Speaker 1 (8:41) How do we do this? How do we get her to America? And the only honest answer to that was to get married. Speaker 8 (8:51) They started the process of applying for a K-1 visa to declare their intent to get married. Chad knew he wanted to ask Misaki's dad for his blessing, so Chad started practicing his Japanese. Speaker 1 (9:05) I would write in English and she would translate into Japanese this multi-page speech. And I did it. I memorized this whole thing. Speaker 8 (9:15) Chad flew to Tokyo, and they made the trip out to visit Misaki's dad. They were meeting up in Nasu, a ski resort town an hour and a half outside of Tokyo. As they drove, Misaki warned Chad that her dad was pretty intense. Chad was getting nervous and kept rehearsing the speech in his head. Speaker 1 (9:36) This is wintertime. It's in the woods, in the snow. And it felt like a horror movie to me because we're driving in darkness. Speaker 1 (9:48) We're going to see how this happens. I can crash and burn, but at least I tried. Speaker 8 (9:53) Finally, they made it to the cabin. Speaker 1 (9:55) And inside is this big wooden table. And the lights are all dimmed down and they're focused on him like some sort of interrogation room. And he is sitting there smoking and drinking a beer. Speaker 1 (10:10) I sit down, my hands are sweaty, I'm wearing an old suit that didn't really fit me very well, I felt ridiculous. And he kind of just said like, well, go on. Speaker 8 (10:23) So Chad nervously started reciting his speech. Speaker 1 (10:27) I don't think I got more than maybe a page into my memorization to where he was like, oh, okay, okay, okay, stop, stop, stop. Speaker 8 (10:39) Misaki's father got out a piece of paper and a pencil. Translating through Misaki, he made it clear that he had something important to tell Chad. Speaker 1 (10:49) He explained to me he felt that his daughter was very selfish. And that she is always trying to run away from her problems. And here she is moving to another country to get married. And he does not feel safe with this idea because she can't stand on her own two legs. And if I want to marry her, I have to agree to his conditions. That she goes to school. That she gets a degree. And that she gets a full-time job. Speaker 8 (11:24) Chad had never known Misaki to be selfish. To him, loving her and supporting her was the most obvious thing in the world. And helping her get a job didn't seem like a difficult ask. Speaker 1 (11:36) So I said, I agree to his plan. And he immediately celebrated. He popped open a beer, he handed it to me, and he told me to call him dad, and he called me son, and it was a really, truly wonderful evening. Speaker 8 (11:55) Soon after, Misaki moved to Colorado. They settled in Aurora, an hour away from Chad's parents. Speaker 1 (12:03) I had been living in an apartment that I had. worked hard to secure something that I could afford. I had a garage. I had all of the space. And so we were ready. Speaker 2 (12:18) Chad was so excited to have Misaki move in with him. They spent most of their time, just the two of them. But sometimes they hung out with Chad's best friend, Anthony. Speaker 1 (12:30) We worked together for years. We had a department together where basically it was just the two of us and we had a pretty good friendship going on. Speaker 8 (12:39) Chad is a pretty private person. But when he did have something on his mind, Anthony was one of the few people he trusted for advice. Speaker 1 (12:48) He was really the only one that I would confide in. Speaker 8 (12:51) Chad and Misaki settled into their daily routines as a couple. Speaker 1 (12:56) Coming back to America went really smoothly. She was happy. Speaker 2 (13:05) A little while later, Misaki got pregnant with their first child. Speaker 8 (13:10) Their baby was born safe and healthy. Chad's parents came to the hospital to meet their grandson. But when they got there, Misaki told Chad she didn't want to see them. She didn't want anybody around the baby except for her and Chad. Speaker 1 (13:27) And she didn't make this decision until my parents were literally at the hospital asking to be buzzed in so that they could say congratulations. Speaker 8 (13:38) Chad tried to push back, but Misaki insisted. I Speaker 1 (13:42) had to tell them to go away. And our baby is too sensitive for outside germs. Speaker 8 (13:51) He hung up the phone. This beautiful moment was shrouded in something else. Anxiety and tension. Speaker 1 (13:59) My firstborn son has just come into the world and we're already having an argument about it. Speaker 8 (14:06) Chad took his son into his arms. Speaker 1 (14:09) He's my son. It's a feeling of warmth and happiness. But I could not fight this feeling. Speaker 1 (14:20) of, I really hope that he's going to be okay. The Speaker 8 (14:27) first few months of parenting were challenging. Speaker 1 (14:30) My firstborn would cry and scream really loudly for extended periods of time. Speaker 8 (14:39) It was exhausting, but he was a baby. This was par for the course for parenting. Chad thought he and Misaki would be on the same page about that. But he noticed that she had little compassion for their son. She would say things like, I Speaker 1 (14:56) don't know what his problem is. Speaker 8 (14:59) Chad was thrown off by comments like that. Speaker 1 (15:01) This little human has a will of its own. This baby's not going to say, I understand that you are busy right now. That became somewhat of a contention point. Speaker 8 (15:14) Chad thought that they would eventually get the hang of parenting as a team. But as the months went by, he only saw Misaki grow increasingly frustrated with their son. When he'd cry, she got angry. Chad started to feel concerned. He suggested they find a way to take some pressure off of Misaki. Speaker 1 (15:35) I was like, you know what, why don't we put him in daycare? And then you can go back to work. Speaker 8 (15:41) Misaki agreed. Speaker 1 (15:43) I had him go into full-time daycare and I would drop him off when I go to work and I'd pick him up when I come home. Speaker 8 (15:49) Chad thought Misaki would be more herself once she had time and space to breathe. But as their son grew and learned to walk and talk, Misaki's frustration with him never let up. Their son's distress also didn't lessen as he got older. Even as a toddler, he was still waking up in the middle of the night crying. Speaker 8 (16:11) Chad was concerned and took him to see his pediatrician. I Speaker 1 (16:16) questioned maybe, is it some developmental disability? No, it was, I mean, he tested fine for all of those things. He was my little buddy. And I felt so bad that I couldn't understand what was giving him night terrors. Speaker 8 (16:34) It was a challenging time. Misaki became increasingly emotionally volatile. Speaker 1 (16:40) Every day was just so incredibly stressful. Speaker 8 (16:44) In her Speaker 2 (16:44) conversations with Chad, Misaki started making degrading comments about their son. Speaker 1 (16:50) About how he's just this worthless trash kid. Speaker 1 (16:56) You know, he can't even do anything right. Speaker 2 (17:00) Hearing Misaki speak about their son this way horrified Chad. He tried to confront her about it. Speaker 8 (17:06) But Speaker 2 (17:07) when he brought Speaker 8 (17:07) up specific things she said, Misaki would insist that he was remembering wrong. Misaki wouldn't let the conversation end until Chad agreed with her version of events. Speaker 1 (17:18) I would be followed to bed. I would be followed to the bathroom. I would not be allowed to sleep if I didn't agree. Oftentimes, it would be up until... two or three o'clock in the morning. Speaker 8 (17:31) This was no longer Speaker 2 (17:32) just bad moods or a short temper. Misaki was verbally abusive. And she was gaslighting Chad when he tried to address it. Soon, Misaki told Chad she wanted to have another kid. Speaker 1 (17:46) My reaction to that was immediately, no, I don't think that that's a good idea. Speaker 2 (17:51) Chad was flailing, trying to take care of one kid and stay afloat in their marriage. But Misaki didn't listen to his concerns. She stopped taking birth control, and soon, she was pregnant with their second son. When their oldest child was three and a half, their second son was born. And as Chad feared, Misaki's outbursts only got worse. Speaker 1 (18:14) Sometimes I would start to hear a whole lot of yelling coming from another end of the house. And by the time I would get there, whatever was going on was already over. You know, one of the kids is crying and she's telling me, well, he wouldn't do whatever thing I asked him to do. Speaker 8 (18:35) Chad worried about what was happening when he wasn't around, and he didn't trust Misaki to tell him the truth. Speaker 1 (18:43) I started thinking it would probably