Phantom Menace | EP 1 | The Confidante

Betrayal Season 6

The premiere of Betrayal Season 6 follows Carl Bryan, a man from Kenosha who navigated coming out as bisexual and significant personal trans

Key takeaways

• Carl Bryan served two terms on the Kenosha school board starting at age 19.
• Adam Mejia was arrested following his fourth DUI after a major car accident.

Main topics

• Coming out and bisexual identity
• Alcoholism and its impact on relationships

Notable quotes

I acted totally nice, like sociopathically. And I like completely like put on the act.

Conclusion

A harrowing look at how a person's most trusted partner can become the

Transcript preview

Speaker 6 (0:00) This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. The true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on an amazing guest. Speaker 2 (0:16) Ooh, I scammed him. What? I could talk to you for an hour. Speaker 6 (0:19) You're a generational yapper, like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 7 (0:34) Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman. Angela Geratana. Speaker 5 (0:37) Jeremy Colhane. Patrick McDonald. And Speaker 7 (0:39) we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast. The Speaker 5 (0:43) improvised character comedy podcast where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft. Speaker 2 (0:48) Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants. And Speaker 5 (0:52) we do a little Halloween sometimes. Does the Pope dress up? He winks on Halloween. Speaker 2 (0:57) He gets right up next to the microphone. Speaker 7 (0:59) I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other. Speaker 2 (1:02) You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween. Speaker 7 (1:07) Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Lisa, tell them about our new show. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Iwano. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes, good taste is my business. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 5 (1:46) So like by age 11 or so, at least 70 % have a phone. Speaker 4 (1:51) I'm Dr. Joy, and this is Therapy for Black Girls. We spend our surviving middle school run getting into what's happening inside your kid's brain, the group chats, and their friendships, and what you can do about it. Speaker 2 (2:02) Your child is not doing this on purpose. Speaker 4 (2:04) That's the kind of perspective we've been pulling from the psychologists and psychiatrists who study this for a living. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 1 (2:15) Hi, it's Andrea Gunning, and I'm excited to be back with Season 6 of Betrayal. If you listen to Betrayal Weekly, I hope you'll stick around for our full season of Carl's story. It'll be told over the course of 10 episodes, with a new one dropping every Thursday. Whether you've been a fan since Season 1, you're a Betrayal Weekly listener, or you're brand new to our show, thanks for being here. Now, on to the episode. Speaker 1 (2:43) We all have a person in our lives that we trust with anything. A partner, a parent, a sibling, a friend. I'm thinking right now about my best friend, Teresa. We have been each other's person since ninth grade. She's been with me through the best moments in my life and the difficult ones. She knows my secrets. She sat on the phone with me for hours when I've been nursing a broken heart. We became adults together. We've cheered each other on in our careers and celebrated our successes. For years, we shared a place at the Jersey Shore where we'd end each day with a beach walk and a glass of wine. Every one of us needs a person like that. A confidant, someone you can be vulnerable with and also share uncontrollable laughter with. Someone you trust beyond reproach. Now imagine that person isn't who you think they are. Imagine that every secret you've shared wasn't stored in confidence. It was collected, cataloged, saved for later. The audio we're about to play was caught on a security camera. Speaker 2 (3:54) I acted totally nice, like sociopathically. And I like completely like put on the act. And I was just like, they don't deserve to be happy. Speaker 1 (4:03) The man you just heard, he'd been plotting for years against someone who trusted him more than anyone. Then he was unknowingly caught on tape, admitting to it all. Speaker 2 (4:15) I'm not pleading guilty. That's for fucking sure. Speaker 1 (4:19) This confession is almost five hours long, and it contains some of the most sinister details I've ever heard. Not just about the crimes he'd committed, but about his darkest fantasies, and the people he was willing to discard to get what he wanted. Speaker 2 (4:37) Like, if I could have kept doing shit, I would have, like, put Vizie in his fucking stir fry. I mean, what does that do? It kills you. Do you want me to just tell you the whole story? Speaker 1 (5:02) I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal Season 6. Episode one, Phantom Menace. For five seasons, we've explored betrayal inside marriages. We've shared stories about families of all kinds and complex relationships with parents, kids, and colleagues. But then we heard this story and our interest was piqued. So we decided to take a trip out near Chicago to Kenosha, Wisconsin. It's home to one of the men at the center of this story, Carl Bryan. Speaker 1 (5:43) I was excited to meet him. From our calls in the months leading up to the trip, I knew we had a lot in common." We're both diehard sports fans. The two of us spoke for hours about teams we ride hard for. For Carl, that's the Cubs and the Packers. For me, the Eagles. And for both 90s kids, with an appreciation for metal music. We spent an entire breakfast talking about Judas Priest and Ozzfest. I'm sorry, I'm just really loving that we are working with someone that is around my same age. We also talk about ourselves in a similar way. Speaker 3 (6:18) I'm a nerd. I'm such a nerd. Speaker 1 (6:20) Beyond his teams and his bands, Carl has one fandom that always comes first. Speaker 3 (6:26) I'm a walking encyclopedia of Star Wars knowledge. I mean, you'll never find a better person to have on their trivia team for Star Wars. That's just about as far as that knowledge will take me, unfortunately. Speaker 1 (6:42) Hearing Carl's big laugh, you'd have no idea what he's been through. He's a survivor. Speaker 3 (6:51) There is no easy way to articulate what it feels like to realize that someone you once trusted was secretly behind the very horror you were trying to escape. Speaker 1 (7:01) That was Carl just one year ago, in a courtroom, holding back tears, trying to get someone he once loved sent to prison. Speaker 3 (7:10) I couldn't understand how someone could be so calculated, so cruel, and so relentless. But he knew exactly what he was doing, and he never once stopped. He weaponized my past to gain control over me. Speaker 1 (7:25) To understand this crime, you need to understand Carl's past. So let's go back to the early 2000s, when Carl was a teenager. Speaker 8 (7:35) Picture like the typical rocker kid out of the 90s. That was Carl. Speaker 1 (7:40) That's Carl's sister, Rebecca. He Speaker 3 (7:43) had really long hair. He would wear band t-shirts every day. I even had like a denim vest with Judas Priest patches all over it and like Iron Maiden patches. Speaker 1 (7:52) For a teen like Carl, Clothes were a way of telling the world who he was. Which is why, when Kenosha was considering a mandate requiring all kids to wear uniforms, I Speaker 3 (8:04) said absolutely not, so I went to the school board meeting. And I might have terrified some of the parents with my appearance. Speaker 1 (8:12) At just 18, he stood up in front of a room full of people, parents, teachers, and elected officials, and delivered a speech. It seemed to have a real impact on the vote. Speaker 8 (8:24) Because there was such an uproar from people like my brother and other peers at the high school, it ended up being shot down. Speaker 1 (8:32) There would be no uniforms at Kenosha schools, in no small part because of Carl. He had a real talent when it came to organizing people and speaking his mind. Rebecca saw that spark in him, and she got an idea. Speaker 8 (8:46) I have a very keen memory of telling him, hey, Carl, you should run for school board. I'm like, why not? You're about to be 18, right? Speaker 3 (8:55) When I was 18, I filed the paperwork and I ran. I lost the first time, but the following year, 2009, this was my freshman year in college, I did get elected at 19. Speaker 1 (9:10) Carl went on to serve two consecutive terms on the Kenosha school board, all while attending the University of Wisconsin. He was a go-getter, charismatic, a face in the community. Privately, though, he was hiding something. Speaker 1 (9:28) During his late teens, the time in life when you're still getting to know yourself, he wrestled with his sexuality. I Speaker 3 (9:35) had acknowledged, but buried it for a long time, that I was queer. I lean towards dating men, but I am bisexual. And I did not embrace this because I remember my dad telling us very early on, if you are gay, I might as well just disown you. Speaker 1 (9:58) Shame got wired into Carl early in life. Speaker 3 (10:01) He was very culturally conservative, and he still is. Still very religious. It was for that fact alone that I chose to just not acknowledge it. It was just easier for me just to suppress it. Speaker 1 (10:16) Carl spent years hiding parts of himself. So when he finally found people who accepted him, he held on tightly. Speaker 1 (10:26) In high school and college, Carl dated women and had girlfriends. But once he graduated, he wanted to explore his bisexuality. I Speaker 3 (10:35) was encouraged by a close friend of mine at the time who just said, well, why don't you just go on dating apps and maybe try going on a date with a guy and see if you like it. And I did, and I liked it. I was like, yeah, I want to do more of this. And then it was... easy for me to be like, yes, this is who I am. I am bisexual. And I'm going to tell people that. Speaker 1 (11:00) Carl and his younger sister, Rebecca, were close in age. He was 24. She was 21. And he felt safe with her. Speaker 8 (11:08) Well, I was the first one in his family he came out to. Was it something I ever suspected? Honestly, no. But when he told me, it wasn't like a, I'm gasping, catching my pearls, that type of a thing. It was just, oh, okay. Thank you for telling me. Next, he told his mom. I remember it being later at night. He came home crying and Speaker 1 (11:33) came out and told me. Sue is Christian. She'd seen people in her community get ostracized or bullied for coming out. Speaker 8 (11:41) I was fearful of that and how he would Speaker 1 (11:43) be judged and how Speaker 8 (11:45) he would not be taken seriously or looked at as a freak or whatever kind of a thing. But Sue accepted Carl as he was. I believe 100 % that that's how you are born. God makes you who you are. God does not make mistakes. Speaker 1 (12:06) It Speaker 7 (12:06) was a huge Speaker 1 (12:07) weight off to know that people in the family were in his corner. But he still wasn't ready to reveal the truth to his dad. Then, a year after Carl came out, a Pride event forced his hand. Speaker 3 (12:21) I was on the school board my first time. Kenosha Pride was just getting started. It started with a gathering in the park, and I decided I was going to go and speak. Speaker 3 (12:37) Anna said that I am the first out bisexual school board member. That made its way into the Kenosha News. I haven't even had the conversation with my dad yet. I even called the editor that night before it went to print, and I was like, can you please not print that because, you know, this is going to, like, really mess up a lot. And he's like, yeah, it's already at the printer. There's nothing we can do. You should probably have that conversation with your dad. Speaker 1 (13:06) There was no more kicking that can down the road. Speaker 1 (13:10) The next morning, Carl's quote appeared in the local newspaper. His dad did not take it well. Speaker 3 (13:16) He didn't talk to me for a couple days. And then eventually he confronted me and he's like, is this true? And was it this friend that got you into this? Like I can be convinced to be gay, which couldn't be farther from the truth. Speaker 1 (13:31) They eventually made an uneasy peace. They just wouldn't talk about it. But his dad's disapproval made it hard to fully embrace who he was. So Carl started trying to meet other gay men, people who would accept him, understand him. Speaker 3 (13:48) And I think that was really where this whole story took off. Speaker 7 (14:12) Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi, we have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Iwano. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not going to get anywhere fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes, good taste is my business. And I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older. And a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight. But there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Liar. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't really care. Speaker 6 (15:22) I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. The true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debris, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole Byer. Speaker 2 (15:38) Ooh, I scammed them. What? Speaker 6 (15:40) I Speaker 2 (15:40) could talk to you for an hour. Speaker 6 (15:41) You're a generational yapper, like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And the scams run the gamut. I'm talking about scams from the 1800s all the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents. Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. And now you can catch full episodes of