Begin Again Moments: Growing Up With A Narcissistic Parent

Begin Again with Davina McCall

Simon Squibb recounts his traumatic childhood experiences involving a narcissistic mother, including being abandoned in a different town at age eight and being

Key takeaways

• Simon Squibb was left alone in Bedford at age eight after an argument with his mother.
• At age fifteen, Simon was kicked out of his home by his mother shortly after his father passed away.

Main topics

• Narcissistic parenting
• Childhood abandonment

Notable quotes

You can call it a curse or a blessing, that anything is possible.

Conclusion

The episode provides a moving look at how childhood instability shapes

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:00) I was eight years old and I lived in a small town called St. Neots. And we went shopping one day in Bedford, which is nearby, maybe a 30-minute or so bus ride away. And so we went there and I remember it's probably one of my earliest memories as a child. I can remember it so clearly because we were having a nice day and we were shopping. And then I can't remember exactly what happened. I think we just had an argument. basically about something. I think I said I wanted to get a drink and she said she wanted to finish what she was doing. I can't remember the exact detail, but then she just basically said, well, you can just get home on your own then, can't you? And she walked off and left me. Now, at eight years old, I don't know if that's normal or not. At eight years old, I'm just instantly thinking, okay, I've got to get home. What do I do? How do I get home? What bus do I have to get? We came in a car, by the way, so I didn't know what bus I had to get and I didn't have any money on me. So of course, back then, no mobile phones, no nothing. Right. So it's kind of an interesting panic. Now, you know, since growing up now, I've got a seven year old. He's just about to turn eight. I can't even leave him in his bedroom on his own. You know, like I check in on him, make sure he's OK. So now I understand maybe, you know, it was it was it was technically wrong, but it didn't feel wrong to me at the time. I felt like I'd done something wrong and she was punishing me. That's what parents do when you do something wrong. So. I guess kind of this is the good thing about when people are hard on you. I learned to get home. I learned to, you know, get the money I needed, figure out the bus, get on the bus. You know, an eight year old is not a weakling. You know, I managed to learn this thing that I now carry with me. You can call it a curse or a blessing, that anything is possible. And you can just, you know, despite being dumped in a town. With no money, I can survive, Speaker 2 (1:51) which Speaker 3 (1:52) is kind of an interesting revelation. It's almost a bit freeing. If you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose. If you've got nothing and you can make something out of nothing, it kind of wakes you up a bit. Now, I would never do it to my child. No. But I also see some good in it. And I see some benefit in it. When I interview people, I can see sometimes people that have single parents or parents a bit tough on them. Sometimes they have a better life long term because they do the hard thing when they're young for the easier life later. And I think my mum also kicked me out at 15 years old just after my father had died. And so that was also a crazy moment. I mean, she literally Speaker 2 (2:28) put your stuff on the street. Speaker 3 (2:30) Yeah. Well, no, she didn't even give me my stuff. She just told me to get out. So I literally grabbed a bag. threw some stuff in it and she said, get out of my house, screaming at me, I'm going to call the police, get out of my house. Speaker 2 (2:38) And you never went back? Speaker 3 (2:39) Never went back. Wow. Speaker 2 (2:41) 15? Speaker 3 (2:41) Yep. And even now when I think about it now, I feel a bit sad about it because it's... I went from having a father and a mother. I've got three brothers. We're all together in a house. And then suddenly I'm on my own out in the real world. And I think the