Hayden Hajdu | From Stardom to Solitude: A Journey Through Music and Recovery | 163

Becoming UnDone® with Dr. Toby Brooks - Dr. Toby Brooks

In this episode of Becoming UnDone®, Dr. Toby Brooks interviews Hayden Hajdu, a former R&B artist who was poised for stardom in the early '90s through Michael Bivens' Biv 10

Key takeaways

• Identity is often shaped by external validation, especially during formative years, making sudden loss of opportunity deeply destabilizing.
• The collapse of a record label like Biv 10 didn't just end careers—it erased futures and left artists stranded with unfinished work and no ownership.

Main topics

• The rise and fall of Biv 10 and its impact on young artists
• Identity formation through external validation and career aspirations

Notable quotes

"It felt like a breakup." – On ending his relationship with Michael Bivens and the label.

Conclusion

Hayden Hajdu's journey from fleeting stardom to solitude and recovery illustrates how failure, when met

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:00) Every team, every topic, Speaker 1 (0:02) everywhere. This is Speaker 3 (0:05) Believe. Speaker 4 (0:10) This is Becoming Undone. Speaker 2 (0:15) You know, identity is, that's a really good conversation. So when I was a kid, we moved around a bunch. My dad was transferred and I had moved like seven or eight times before we settled down in Northeast Ohio. And I think from that, a lot of my identity was in other people's opinions and approval of me. So I think my identity, I missed playing football. So when I finished the album, I came home. I was on like cloud nine. You know, all my buddies are happy. They're like, wow, this is really going to happen. And then probably three weeks after we had made the video or a month, I get the call that Gerald Busby resigned. And Mike's like, listen, we're going to give you a stipend. We're going to try and kind of figure out what we want to do. But that time started to go by longer and longer. And I had gotten the bug that, you know, I could do this. So I was still kind of holding on to the Michael Bivens dream. But then a shift happened and I got a call from three guys out of New Jersey who had gotten my number. And they're like, hey, we have a group. They were at the time they were called Protege. And they said, hey, we want to meet you. Like we heard you. Things aren't working out with Michael Bivens. I decided at that point, I said, you know, I think I'm going to break away from Michael Bivens and I'm going to pursue this. And I called Michael and we had a conversation. You know, this was a long time ago, right? And I have never talked to him since. He hasn't talked to me since Speaker 1 (1:37) that time. It was, you know, it felt like a breakup. Speaker 2 (1:41) Alcohol was always something that I think affected me differently. But I don't think I really opened up the Pandora's box when I was signed to Columbia because I was very focused. I wanted to be an artist and make music, but I was never about becoming famous. I wanted to make music because I loved music. I wanted to make a lot of money and then retire and play golf. But when our deal with Columbia didn't follow through, it really devastated me. And that's when my addiction really kicked in. Hi, my name is Hayden Hajdu and I am Undone. Speaker 3 (2:19) July 28th, 1992. I was wrapping up the final month between my junior and senior year of high school. And at the time I was working as a dishwasher at a local bed and breakfast not far from my school. And I was practicing. I spent much of that summer on the court behind my house. It wasn't much, but it was mine. I always blame that court, however, on my lack of deep shooting range. It had been a chicken coop in years before, so there was this small shed that opened up onto this concrete pad that at one point had all been caged in so that the chickens could go inside for protection from the weather or outside so that it was cooler. But by the time I was a high schooler, the chickens were long gone, and what was left was that shed and probably a 20 by 15 slab of concrete and my basketball goal. Now, keep in mind that a regulation three-pointer for high schoolers is 19 feet 9 inches. My pole overhung the pad by a little bit, and then there was the wall of the shed. So, honestly, I'd say I'm a pretty solid shooter from 18 feet in. But beyond that, I was either out in the grass on the wings, or I was backed all the way up to the shed wall, which was about 19 feet or less from the bucket at the top of the key. Anyhow, congrats, you just got my analysis of why in my high school career, I think I was exactly zero for one from three point range. Correlation doesn't equal causation, but still, you can see it, right? Anyway, one thing I had to have at practice was music. So this was a pre-AirPod era. So like in grade school, middle school, I would walk out with my dual cassette deck, but eventually I had a CD player boombox, right? Put it out on the court and I'd listen to my pick of the day. I'd take three or four CDs out there with me. In those days, common choice probably would have been... NWA or LL Cool J, Rex in Effect, Bell Biv DeVoe, Boyz II Men, maybe 3rd Bass. I had heard about this new CD coming out that had been put together by Michael Bivens called East Coast Family, and I was all in. The summer before, Cooley High Harmony had come out, and even though we didn't really have MTV at my house, my friends who did were talking about the Motown Philly video that included Boyz II Men, ABC, Another Bad Creation, a group of young kids in awesome era-perfect starter gear, and a group of five white dudes who you don't hear sing, but you see them flash across the screen as Sudden Impact. Now, the backstory to Sudden Impact is the subject of one of my all-time favorite podcasts, Dave Holmes' Waiting for Impact. Dave did this masterful job. Ten-episode limited series does a deep dive on what happened to Sudden Impact and why, despite being featured in one of the biggest music videos of the year in 1991, We never really got to hear what happened to Sudden Impact. Honestly, the series is pop culture journalistic gold, if you ask me. And if you listen to my show, you'll hear where I got some of my production ideas from Dave's masterful storytelling. I'll never do it as well as Dave, I know that, but I love the way that he inserts story and insight and he weaves context into the interviews. It's a way harder way to do a podcast for sure. But I think it's the only way to do my guests and their stories justice. So back to 1992. I can't recall if I bought the East Coast Family CD outright at a store. I didn't do that very often. More likely I ordered it from BMG or Columbia House Music Club. For those of you too young to know about it, before there was streaming, you had to buy all your music. And it wasn't cheap, especially on a dishwasher salary. 15 to 20 bucks was common for a CD. And more often than not, we hadn't heard more than a song or two on the radio. unless a friend had bought that copy ahead of us. But the opening track on that East Coast Family CD that stood out right away was the intro song, a posse track called One For All For One. Within it, producer Michael Bivens compiled his massive and growing stable of young artists together for a song that showcased not just what he had in Boyz II Men and ABC and BBD, but what you could expect in the months and years ahead. Rappers, vocal groups, R &B solo acts, headliners included established artists like Boyz II Men and ABC. Their debut albums had been released the year prior, and then MC Brains had an album in 1992, just a few months before the East Coast Family. So we had these three solid albums before East Coast Family, then the compilation album that was really good. It was full of other new artists we hadn't heard from yet. It was only natural to think, as I'm thumbing through these liner notes, that every one of them are going to be big stars too. They were stars in the making. Unfortunately for most, that stardom never came. Or if it did, it arrived much differently than expected under the banner of Biv 10. I googled it and I was surprised to learn that in total Biv 10 produced around 20 albums. Girl Group 702 was the only one I had really heard of other than Belle Biv Defoe who released their album BBD through Biv 10 in 2000. The label officially folded back into Motown Records in 2002. Speaker 2 (7:31) Now, I'll tell you, as a 17-year-old kid from Illinois, I Speaker 3 (7:34) remember being excited about this stable of new artists that were all destined for R &B and hip-hop stardom. To me, it was a sure thing based on what I'd seen so far from Michael Bivens. However, for most, it didn't happen. And in that moment for me, I remember being disappointed that... I didn't get to hear albums from those groups that were spotlighted in that video. But what I was too young and too self-centered to notice at that time was that while it might be disappointing for me, if you were living it, it must have been hell. Speaker 3 (8:10) To think that you're aligned with one of the biggest names in the music industry in 1992, and then basically be out on the street just a year or two later with no record deal. Most with half-done or partially done projects that they couldn't take with them to other record labels because Biv 10 and Motown owned the music. As I listened to Dave tell the story of Sudden Impact, tracking down other Biv 10 artists and other pop icons of the era, I couldn't help but wonder about all the others. How many of them had had their early shot at stardom tantalizingly dangled in front of their noses before things beyond their control led those visions of stardom to be snatched away? That was an undone story if ever I had heard one. One of those artists was Hayden Hajdu, who, during the Biv 10 years, simply went by Hayden. And Hayden looked nothing like what he sounded like to me. He looked like a Midwestern college kid who might have just stepped out of a fraternity photo shoot. Then he opened his mouth. If Biv-10 was assembling its roster to fill particular lanes, Hayden seemed destined to occupy one all his own. A kind of Elvis for a new generation, delivering that blue-eyed soul that, to my ears, sounded kind of like Brian McKnight. He had range, he had soul, his vocal runs were ridiculous. The problem was, you couldn't really know any of that from the two lines that he was given on one for all for one. And that was kind of the point. At the time, of course, those two lines felt like a preview. Hayden was one of several artists on that record who seemed to be waiting just offstage for their turn. And if you were following Biv 10 in 1992, there was every reason to believe that that turn was coming. For some, it did. For others, things got quite a bit more complicated. That was what pulled me into Dave Holmes waiting for Impact in the first place. The sudden impact story was fascinating all on its own. But it also made me wonder. Inside the CD, there's a poster with a photo of countless artists. In the video, you can see them. And the question that came to my mind is, what happened to the rest of them? Not just the Sudden Impact guys, but everyone involved went from thinking they were on the threshold of stardom to seeing the record label fold in front of their eyes. Hayden's story turned out to be one of the ones I most wanted to hear. Because this isn't really a conversation about a record label that disappeared or an album that should have come out. It's about talent and timing and ambition and identity and disappointment and faith. And what happens when the life you pictured for yourself starts moving in a direction you never expected. Hayden's story took some turns that I didn't know about when I first heard those two lines back in 1992. And I'd venture a guess he had no idea it was going to go that way either. And our conversation went places I wasn't expecting when we sat down to talk. By now, I guess I should tell you that this is Becoming Undone, and I'm your host, Dr. Toby Brooks, speaker, author, professor, and performance scientist. I spent much of the last two decades working as an athletic trainer and strength coach in the professional, collegiate, high school sports settings. And over the years, I've grown more and more fascinated with what sets high achievers apart and how failures that can suck in the moment can end up being exactly the push we needed to propel us on our path to success. Each week on Becoming Undone, I invite new guests to examine how high achievers can transform from falling apart to falling into place. I'd like to emphasize that this show is entirely separate from my role at Baylor University, but it's my attempt to apply what I've learned and what I'm learning, and to share with others about the mindsets of high achievers. This week, I'm thrilled to bring you the story of vocalist Hayden Hajdu. I hope you'll enjoy our conversation in episode 163. Let's get into it. Speaker 3 (12:05) Greetings and welcome back. Becoming Undone is a podcast for those who dare bravely risk mightily and grow relentlessly. Join me, Toby Brooks, as I invite a new guest each week where we examine how high achievers can transform from falling apart to falling into place. Thrilled to have a guest with me today. We've been working for a long time to make this one happen and it took some doing, but I finally have Hayden Hajdu in the studio today. And Hayden is a recording artist who has quite a story with BIF10 Records and with the record industry in general and first came across your work with Dave Holmes' podcast about Waiting for Impact. So Hayden, I'm really thrilled to have you here today. Welcome to the show. Speaker 2 (12:46) Thanks, Toby. I appreciate it. And you got my last name right, so that's pretty good. Well, Speaker 3 (12:52) actually, I meant to ask before we got started, so I'm glad to hear that. I don't always do that. Well, I always start off with a little bit of a softball. Take me back to the beginning. As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up and why? Speaker 2 (13:04) Yeah, so, you know, I grew up in the normal, like, kind of nuclear family. Had a great mom and dad. I have a younger sister, so. I'm growing up. We traveled quite a bit, but I was very into sports. So I think as a young kid, I think I wanted, you know, I inspired, I think like any young kid wanted to play college football and, you know, maybe wanted to be a pro football player. I think when I was younger, I was a big Tony Dorsett fan for the Dallas Cowboys. So I was born in Austin. So. Um, early on, I was a big Cowboys fan, Tom Landry years. So yeah, really my life was really about sports. And then I just grew up in a family that could always sing. So that was kind of second nature, but I thought I was going to go off and play college football somewhere and do that. And that was kind of just, you know, I think a far away dream that I had. So, yeah. Speaker 3 (13:53) I also grew up a Cowboys fan. Kind of a highlight for me, I'm an athletic trainer by trade, and I worked with the Raiders in 2002, and Anthony Dorsett was on our roster. And I look over, and there's Tony. Like, Dad is there to watch Speaker 2 (14:07) practice. So I'm right there with you. I didn't grow up in Texas, but that was America's team back then, so I can certainly relate. I'm not a Cowboys fan now. I'm a diehard Browns fan and a Buckeyes fan, but I was a Cowboys fan back then. Speaker 3 (14:19) Well, I love that aspect of your story as I was listening to Dave's interview with you, how athletics and being in the arts, especially when you and I were growing up, was really seen as two different things. You know, theater kids didn't hang out with the jocks, but you really were able to kind of live in both of those spaces. So kind of talk me through. As that Biv 10 record deal kind of came about, like who was Hayden in those high school years? And when you were navigating that space between, am I an athlete? Am I an artist? Am I both? What was that like for you? Speaker 2 (14:55) Yeah. So, you know, high school for me, I mean, I was a, you know, I was a football player. I was, I was, you know, pretty good. I wasn't great. Had an opportunity to play at a, you know, division three. and a couple of like NAIA Division II schools if I wanted to. And then, you know, I was a kid who could sing. So I really wasn't into like the drama club or anything like that. I sang in the choir and I did some solos. But my senior year, they had this play, Bye Bye Birdie, and the director of the drama club said, hey, you know, I have a part for you if you want to do it. And I really didn't want to. My parents were like, you know, you should do it. I ended up doing it. And then a couple of other kids on the football team did it. We had a good time. And then, you know, I was just a guy who was, you know, going to go to Ohio University. I ended up just deciding to go to college and just be a college kid. And then in the summer of 1991, that was when Michael Bivens had discovered Boyz II Men. Speaker 2 (16:01) Bell Bibb DeVoe was on this Budweiser tour with MC Hammer and a couple of other artists. And whenever Michael Bivens was somewhere, people would go and sing for him. And a buddy of mine, Keith Weaver, who lives in Atlanta now, he called me at like one in the morning. He's like, hey, you got to get down here. Like all these people are singing for, you know, Michael Bivens. And I knew who he was because I was really into like R &B and gospel. That's kind of what I grew up on. So I went to a hotel and there was like. 20 people auditioning or 25 and the hotel lobby was full and he was um He was exiting to leave and my buddy said hey, we got one more for you And he goes all right. He thought it was my buddy. Um, my friend is african-american He thought he was gonna sing for me. It was me um, you know, and I was in sweats and a t-shirt and um And I sang something and he kind of smiled. And then I was like, Ooh, that maybe didn't go the way I wanted. And then he's like, sing something else. And I sang something else. And then he had me sing something else. And then, you know, all these people started cheering and clapping. Um, and then, you know, he wrote down my number on a little gum wrapper and he goes, Hey, I'm going to call you. And I was like, whatever, you know, and I just went about my business. And then about two weeks later, I got a phone call from. Michael Bivens and I thought it was a joke. I thought it was one of my buddies and I said, okay, and I hung up and then he called back and he's like, no, this is Michael Bivens. You know, I'm going to call you back in two weeks and I want you to write a song and I want you to sing it for me. And I had never written a song and then I have to write a song. And then he called me at like two in the morning and I ran down to my basement. I was at my parents' house and I sang the song and he's like, Hey, I'm going to offer you a record deal. Speaker 3 (17:40) Now, this was a crazy time in the American record industry, and particularly for Michael Bivens. Biv was a founding member of New Edition, and when members like Bobby Brown and Ralph Tresvan and Johnny Gill all started spinning off to do their own solo deals, Ricky Bell, Michael Bivens, and Ronnie DeVoe, Bell, Biv, DeVoe, formed their own group. Their debut album, Poison, in 1990 was a massive hit, going certified quadruple platinum, meaning it sold over 4 million copies. One of those was mine. Probably BMG if I had to guess. It was a personal favorite of mine at the time. Because what 16-year-old shouldn't be singing Do Me Baby, right? Speaker 3 (18:25) The album peaked at number five on the Billboard Top 200, and it was number one on the R &B and hip-hop charts. Not long after, Bivens began dreaming of a progression in his career from artist to producer, becoming a Quincy Jones for his generation, or in more modern terms, kind of a forerunner to Sean Puffy Combs years later. Anyway, at this time... The model for landing a record deal with Bivens apparently was to lightly stalk him in various hotels in various cities and then just sing for him. The phenomenon even found its way into the music of One For All For One. Speaker 3 (19:12) For Hayden, it meant dropping what he was doing when he heard Bivens was in town and heading down to try his hand at the Michael Bivens gateway to the record industry. Using a highly technical system that involved a phone number scribbled on a gum wrapper, miraculously, it worked. Almost unbelievably, the BBD star called him back. And then he called him back again when Hayden hung up on him because he thought it was a prank. But before long, Hayden had a record deal. It would be the start of Hayden's journey in Speaker 2 (19:42) the Speaker 3 (19:42) record business. I Speaker 2 (19:44) was like, I don't even really know what that is, but let's go. And he ended up offering me a record deal. So when I left for OU, I had signed my first record deal. So I didn't go through the hardship of doing bars and doing scenes like that. I sang for a guy and got offered a record deal. So I'd signed a record deal before I went to OU. So I didn't take college very seriously at that point in time. And then I really started kind of... really gravitating towards like the music side and doing those things. But growing up, I was just your normal kid who, you know, I mean, I was, you know, I was singing in a choir and I could always sing and I sang at pep assemblies or like if we would go to parties, you know, my boys would be like, hey, you need to sing for this girl or something like that. But I just grew up in a house on my mom's side. Everybody sings. So I grew up in a world where everyone sings, you know, like they all, you know, I have I have. You know, I have a cousin who's a pastor of a church in Lubbock and his three brothers and his sister sang and my mom could sing. And, you know, we, you know, it was just singing in harmony and things like that. So that was just kind of normal for me. You know, I didn't think that I was better than anyone else. I just knew I had this talent, but it really wasn't something that I think defined me at all. And then when I, you know, I started, it started to define me more as I started to get the record deal and getting more attention. I think it just became a priority and it was. kind of who I was becoming, right? Like I was a singer and things like that. Speaker 3 (21:11) Yeah. Well, I have to wonder, I mean, you're showing up to campus with a record deal in your pocket. I mean, what's your attitude like? Are you kind of insufferable and arrogant? Are you still finding your way as an artist? What's Hayden like when he shows up as an undergrad? Did college really factor into your future plans at that point? Or were you already thinking like, this music thing is really what I'm going to pursue? Speaker 2 (21:37) Yeah, so no, college did not, you know, I was going down there to hang out, go to the bars, have fun. I grew up in a Christian home, but like that wasn't a priority for me at all. I was, you know, I had joined a fraternity and I was doing those things. You know, it's funny. I was, I was never arrogant about my music. I think. Speaker 2 (21:59) And what I'm going to say may sound arrogant, but I think I was very secure in who I was and I knew that it was something that I could do. So I was never arrogant or didn't really talk about it a bunch. You know, I'm sure some nights where I had a lot to drink and I was talking to