Anna Hertel's Journey: From Triathlete to Healing Through Counseling | 167

Becoming UnDone® with Dr. Toby Brooks

Former competitive triathlete Anna Hertel discusses her transition from endurance sports to a career in counseling and writing. She explores

Key takeaways

• Anna Hertel completed 45 triathlons, including two Ironman competitions, to find stability during turbulent life stages.
• The physical demands of extreme endurance training eventually led to significant injuries, including meniscus issues and ACL sprains.

Main topics

• Endurance sports as a coping mechanism
• Identity transition after athletic retirement

Notable quotes

Sometimes the very thing that helps us survive can eventually become the thing that we have to let go of.

Conclusion

The episode provides a powerful look at how high achievers can transfo

Transcript preview

Speaker 4 (0:00) This is Believe. One network. Every topic. Everywhere. Speaker 1 (0:10) This is Becoming Undone. Speaker 2 (0:14) So I moved to the States when I was 12 with my parents. My siblings had to stay behind due to visa restrictions. I attended an international school. I graduated high school and I went to animation school in Seattle. And from there, things started spinning out of control. So it ended up really coming. And that's how the book opens, being in a doctor's office and him being like, You only have so much money in the bank. Like, what are you doing here? You're like, there's so much life to be lived. There's a good life outside of Ironman and triathlon. And I was like, wait, you can't take this away from me. Like, this is my identity. Speaker 2 (0:50) But I said, no, there is a way. My coach was very supportive at the time as well, of course. And together we got my endurance to the point where I could do this race. And so I was very mindful. I loved that day. And I wasn't fast, but I completed. My name is Anna Hertel and I am undone. Speaker 3 (1:18) Hey friend, I'm glad you're here. Welcome to yet another episode of Becoming Undone, the podcast for those who dare bravely, risk-mindedly, and grow relentlessly. We're proud to be part of the Believe Network. I'm Toby Brooks, a speaker, author, professor, and performance scientist. I've spent much of the last two decades working as an athletic trainer and a strength coach in the professional, collegiate, and high school sports settings. And over the years, I've grown more and more fascinated with what sets high achievers apart and how failures that can suck in the moment can end up being exactly the push we needed. to propel us on our paths to success. Each week on Becoming Undone, I invite new guests to examine how high achievers can transform from falling apart to falling into place. I'd also like to emphasize that this show is entirely separate from my role at Baylor University. The views and the conversations shared here are my own. Becoming Undone is my attempt to apply what I've learned and what I'm learning and to share with others about the mindsets, the lessons, and the experiences that shape high achievers. Speaker 3 (2:25) Welcome back, everybody. For the first time in months, I didn't feel like my flesh was going to boil off when I went outside. So we're going to say that officially fall has arrived here in Central Texas. I'm chipping away at this fall semester with midterm coming up and the assignments galore, both to do and to grade. I'm thankful for this season and that I'm not only a professor, but a student in person at Baylor, a student online at the University of Florida. And I'm an intern gaining experiences in D1 sports science. No doubt, it's a busy time, but it's a blessed time. And I'm loving this season of learning, serving, and growing. That said, I also love this show and the space that it gives me to connect with incredible people from all over the world. Take my guest this week, Ana Hurtado. Sometimes the very thing that helps us survive can eventually become the thing that we have to let go of. For Ana, endurance sport became structure during a season in her life where almost everything else felt anything but structure. After navigating abusive relationships, family upheaval, and struggles that she didn't even yet have language for, Ana found something measurable in triathlon, in the miles, in the splits, the heart rates, the workouts, the finish line. And she got very good at it. Over seven years, she completed 45 triathlons, including two Ironmans. But somewhere along the way, discipline began asking more from her body than her body could continue to give. And eventually, Ana had to confront the difficult question. When does pushing through make you stronger? And when does it simply help keep you from dealing with what hurts? What I love most about Honest Story is that it isn't really about walking away from endurance or even sport for that matter. Instead, it's about redefining it. Ana's healing ultimately required something far harder than another long ride or another run or another swim or another finish line. It required learning to sit in the discomfort, put language to trauma, to rebuild her identity, and to recognize that her worth was never dependent on what she could accomplish. Today, Ana is an author, a mom, and a counselor in training helping other women navigate trauma and identity. Her new book, Brick by Brick, a memoir of endurance, healing, and becoming, tells the story of how all those pieces began coming back together. And maybe that's the question underneath our entire conversation today. What happens when the thing that once saved you is no longer the thing you need? I hope you'll enjoy my conversation with my now friend, Anna Hertel, in episode 167. Let's get into it. Greetings and welcome back. Becoming a Nun is a podcast for those who dare bravely, risk mightily, and grow relentlessly. Join me, Toby Brooks, as we invite new guests each week to examine how high achievers can transform from falling apart to falling into place. This week's guest is an author and a retired competitive triathlete. Anna Hertel is joining us from Silicon Valley, California. Anna, thanks so much for joining me today. Speaker 2 (5:44) Thank you so much for the opportunity. Happy to be here. Speaker 3 (5:47) Well, you've got quite a story and you've got a book that's, I think, poised to really make an impact for a lot of people. But before we get into all of that, I always start off with a little bit of an easy one. What'd you want to be growing up and why? Speaker 2 (6:00) What I want to be when I was growing up? I wanted family. I wanted a husband. I wanted a house. I wanted children. And I think I wanted to be an artist and a storybook illustrator. Speaker 3 (6:15) Right. Well, certainly life has taken you in some interesting directions along the way. So you've described a period when you believe that discipline could outrun your pain. I think that's how the quote went. So looking back now, how did you distinguish between achievement that's life-giving and achievement that's really just a form of escape? Speaker 2 (6:37) I noticed when my body started breaking down and I, the coach Matt Dixon at Purple Patch really taught me about not pushing too much and tuning in with my body because I noticed the more discipline I was putting at myself, the more my body started breaking down, especially after several years. It just couldn't keep up. And that's when I had to listen. Speaker 3 (7:00) So we didn't really cover the... space in between those early dreams of a family and illustrator and how you got into being a competitive triathlete and completing two Ironmans. So talk me through a little bit of that process of kind of growing up. I know you were born initially in Germany, but raised in the U.S. So talk us through kind of how you got into competitive triathlon. Speaker 2 (7:25) Yeah, I can give you the quick milestone. So I moved to the States when I was 12 with my parents. My siblings had to stay behind due to visa restrictions. Attended an international school. I graduated high school and I went to animation school in Seattle. And from there, things started spinning out of control. And I switched universities to study psychology and language. And then I took a study abroad trip. And all that started really spinning out of control because I had a friend in India at the time that I knew. My relationship at that point was on very rocky grounds, and I kind of just took off. Like, I really wanted the challenge. And that was the first of two abusive relationships that I got myself in. And obviously, India at that time, no cell phone coverage, regular power outages. barely any internet. I mean, I was cut off. And so that lasted for about a year. It was very turbulent. I had a brief time in Seattle during, after that, where I did my first triathlon and it felt really good. And it's something, I had bought my first road bike and I was like, wait, there's a sport I could do that's like running, swimming, biking. And it was a little sprint and I really loved it. Made me feel alive. But then The next relationship came and that was far worse. And it completely broke me. Completely. And I didn't actually realize how deeply it eroded my trust in other people and in connection, especially on a romantic level. And so at the time, my parents' personal trainer was an Ironman. And he said, hey, like I can train you towards an Ironman. And I said, there's no way I can't even run a 5K at this point. But he said, no, we can do this in 13 months. And this also coincided with my parents separating. Speaker 2 (9:26) I realized I can move to California. I need to get out of Seattle. And from there, I just started training. And his plans were very, very rigid. Like every Friday was a long run, no matter how I felt. But that gave me structure in an otherwise extremely turbulent mindset. And at this time, I didn't know I also had undiagnosed ADHD. So that only made things significantly worse. Speaker 3 (9:54) Ana's turn to competitive sport is born from a place of pain and heartbreak, but within it, she finds a purpose and a freedom that is noticeably absent from the rest of her life. By her own admission, she went from one abusive relationship into a second. But in the midst of those and in the physical transition from Seattle to a new start in California, she begins competing. By her own admission, not even able yet to finish a 5K. She soon connects with a coach who gets her ready to compete in her first triathlon in just 13 months. On the rides and the runs and the swims, Anna finds herself alone in her thoughts for hours at a time. But those miles become the liberty that she'd craved and needed whether she'd realized it or not. However, over time, the thing that initially brought her freedom began extracting a toll of its own. Compounding injuries and overuse conditions started to pile up. And also along the way, she becomes a mom and she navigates a painful breakup while the world around us goes upside down in the midst of a global pandemic. Through it all, though, she found herself wrestling with a lingering and growing question about her identity and a swelling purpose store. As questions like, who am I? What role does sport play in my life? And who would I be without this? All keep growing ever louder. She eventually finds a therapist who helps her begin to make sense of the pieces of her life. But not before she's completed nearly 50 triathlons around the world. Speaker 2 (11:31) But triathlon gave me that structure. And from there... It ended up being 45 races in total and two Ironmans, kind of bookending the whole seven years. Right. Speaker 3 (11:43) So as you're training and competing, what's daily life like for Anna during this season? Are you working? I mean, are you training full time? What does your normal rhythm of life look like? Speaker 2 (11:56) Yeah, so as I opened the author's note in my book, I touched base on the privilege. Speaker 2 (12:06) Fortunately, I was born into my dad was very successful theoretical physicist. And so I've been afforded a very substantial safety net of unconditional love from family as well as resources. So I think at that time, it was really beneficial because I could pour myself into the sport. I could get the exciting bike. I could buy the nice running shoes, get the training. Speaker 2 (12:34) And also I knew I had to turn this into something like maybe do Instagram, inspire others, like join a triathlon club. And I started writing stories at this time too. I was like, there's something there I got to like lean into. And I tried to get educated in project management. I was like, okay, like what am I going to do with my life? Because like triathlon I know can't be really it for life. But I kept searching and I couldn't figure it out. At first. Speaker 3 (13:06) I've had a couple of students who were competitive, kind of recreational triathlon, which is kind of a crazy thing to say out