The Ballad of the Senator

Bearing Scars

This episode of 'Bearing Scars' features Senator Jeff Clemens, a former Florida Democratic leader whose political rise was derailed by a per

Key takeaways

• Personal accountability is essential for healing, even when public scrutiny amplifies shame.
• Political careers can be destroyed by personal failures, but redemption is possible through self-forgiveness and support.

Main topics

• Political downfall due to personal misconduct
• Affair and its impact on family and public life

Notable quotes

Enjoy your scars, scars, scars. Enjoy your scars.

I was the quarterback of the team... and when a quarterback gets sacked, they come after you hard.

Conclusion

Jeff Clemens' story underscores that even after profound personal failure, life can

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:00) Inside and out, everyone you know has got them. Your mom and dad and all your friends. Enjoy your scars, scars, scars. Enjoy your scars. Speaker 2 (0:20) A note before we begin. In the days preceding the release of this episode of Bearing Scars, we learned another former Florida-based politician found himself in the headlines once again. This time, the former big city mayor and his political party's former gubernatorial nominee was arrested. As a former elected official myself, who also was in the headlines for missteps in life, I can truly empathize with this man who was once on a potential national trajectory, only to be derailed by his own doing. The typical response to a politician's downfall is so very often political in nature. Those who agreed with his politics too often hope the misdeeds of one won't affect the standing of others with his same belief. Thus, they shun him. Those who disagreed with his politics too often pounce on line and claim the misdeeds of one is a clear reflection on all who share his beliefs. It is naive, I'm sure, but I hope we can understand the problems or addictions of one man or one woman are just that, their individual problem or addiction, even if it impacts those they love. Part of the reason we found Bearing Scars to be such an open and accepted venue for learning how to overcome our own self-inflicted mistakes is that we provide every guest with grace and forgiveness, and we allow them to tell their story without filters. This raw discussion format provides you, the listener, with a real understanding of the person behind the headline or behind the mistake. Some of our guests have been world-famous business leaders, politicians, community organizers, actors, athletes, mobsters, moms. Our premiere episode, His Second Chance, featured Desmond Meade, a man who went from a homeless drug addict to one of Time Magazine's 100 most influential people in the world. and a Nobel Peace Prize nominee. Our episode titled A Wrestler's Addiction covered the addiction and recovery story of WWE wrestler Matt Morgan. We aired an emotional episode titled Her Deadly Secret, where someone you know is a Chamber of Commerce president reveals for the first time the deadly consequences of her addiction. The quiet man introduced us to a former CEO of a garbage company who was molested for years as a child. Forty years after he thought the abuse had ended, his abuser returned. In Finding Her Voice, the actress we all remember as the voice of Sally in the Charlie Brown cartoons reveals her spiral and eventual peace. We met a former mafia enforcer in The Family Business. The New Englander's mafia lifestyle had predictable consequences, including prison, being shot in the back of the head, and an amazing transformation. We went to the heartland of America for a chilling episode titled Soccer Mom Dealer to meet an Idaho mother whose own addiction inadvertently caused her to become a drug dealer to, of all people, her own son. If you've seen the Amazon Prime documentary rom-com, Who the F is Jason Porter, you already know some of the story of the featured victim. But what our episode of Bearing Scars with Heather Rovette revealed were secrets even her mother didn't know until it aired. In The Uncancellable Man, we learn some techniques to overcome adversity when it Speaker 3 (3:58) seems the Speaker 2 (3:59) whole world is against you. In episodes to come, we'll meet more leaders who've overcome their own self-inflicted scars. We've established a level of trust with our guests and our listeners, and I think you'll find these real-life stories inspiring. Please follow our show to continue listening and rate us on your podcast platform of choice. Speaker 2 (4:20) Today on Bearing Scars, we're continuing our discussion with a man whose scars derailed his life. Just a decade ago, Senator Jeff Clemens was on a political fast track in Florida as one of the highest-ranking Democratic senators in the third-largest state in the nation. His work in economic development, social, medical, and community building saw Senator Clemens as a statewide leader on a potential national trajectory. Speaker 2 (4:47) In part one of this discussion, we learn Jeff is a natural communicator, but he is shy and he's a reserved communicator who always naturally let the others shine. He was in a band with a recording contract and CDs, but not up front as the lead singer. He was an award-winning journalist, but as a storyteller for others. He was an advocate for so many in his community, but often let others take the glory. Yet through his shyness, people saw a natural, humble leader. So they elected him to lead. In today's very raw discussion with Jeff Clemens here on Bearing Scars, we discover the scandal that rocked the state, Jeff's family, and unravel the life of a man who had up until then seemingly done everything right. We also learn how he's been since the scandal and how you can learn from his resilience routines. Now, part two of a very emotional and honest discussion with Jeff Clemens. Speaker 2 (5:46) Welcome back Speaker 1 (5:47) to Bearing Scars. We have just been through Speaker 2 (5:49) the meteoric rise of a man that, if you're writing a book, you seem to think you know how the story's going to end. But just like in life, there was a roadblock. There was something that Jeff did. He admits it, takes responsibility for it, and this is bearing scars. So we're going to talk a little bit about the scar that he has, what caused it, and what he's done since then. Jeff, what stopped your meteoric rise? Speaker 1 (6:18) Yeah, my selfishness, to put it mildly. We talked earlier about how I did enjoy. Speaker 1 (6:27) the attention, the adulation. And frankly, you know, my wife and I were not spending nearly enough time together. I was in Tallahassee. She was getting her PhD at the University of Miami. And we drifted a little bit apart, spending less time together than we should have been and me not focusing on the things I should have been. And I drifted and I had an affair. Speaker 2 (6:51) And you and Sheila were fairly newlyweds at the time, right? Speaker 1 (6:54) We had been married since 2013. So this would have been, yeah, 2017. Speaker 2 (6:59) Yeah. So four years into being a state senator, things get carried away. Yeah. And how did it all happen? And what are you comfortable talking about? Sure. So Speaker 1 (7:14) I had, as you talk about a meteoric rise, I had been elected to lead the Florida Senate Democrats in the 2018 term. As such, you take over running what we call Senate Victory, which is the campaign arm of the Senate Democrats. And so I was gone a lot. I was fundraising. I was doing all kinds of things and met a woman whose company I enjoyed. We had a lot of things in common. We actually both went to the same college. And we started spending time together, and I did things that I shouldn't have done. And, you know, ended up hurting. All the people I cared about, you know, and it was it was a very stupid and selfish thing to do on many fronts. And a thing that, you know, I hurt hurt my wife. I hurt my kids. I hurt her. And, you know, again, it was it was selfishness. And so, you know, obviously, that's a very personal thing. But because I had. put myself out there as an elected official. And because I had made myself a target by becoming the future leader of the Senate Democrats and the person who ran their campaign arm, you know, it was a big square bullseye on my back. We won a seat under, you know, my direction in part in Miami that we probably shouldn't have won. There was a great Republican candidate down there who was moderate, and we came in and beat him, right? And that took the Florida Senate back to 24-14, right? So in my time in the Senate, we've gone from 28-12 up to 24-14. We were coming. We were making a difference, and we were. Not that far away. Speaker 2 (9:10) You were the quarterback of the team. Correct. Because as the person who was going to lead your campaigns for the 2018 election, you're the quarterback of the team. As we all know, the quarterback gets sacked. Speaker 1 (9:22) Yeah, they came after me. It was very personal. I mean, I take full responsibility for what I did. Um, you know, again, it was just, I think there's a long lifetime history of myself for always looking for something better. And it took me until, you know, recently to realize that I, that I had, you know, had the better and I didn't need to be always looking. Right. But, um, you know, it, it, it's just, it was, I put myself out there and made it so that I gave them an opening, but they certainly steamrolled through it and there were certain people they targeted and I was number one because. You know, I was we had just won that race that we shouldn't have run one. And and so they came after me hard. And, you know, I resigned within 48 hours of the news coming out. And and, of course, today, in retrospect, looking back at at it, you know, a decade ago, you know, an affair is not something that kills the career of a politician anymore. You know, but it. it was important to me to do the right thing. A lot of people, you know, don't and their career is important to them. And mine was certainly important to me, but I, I remember, you know, some of the things that were the worst and the worst were obviously, you know, having to, to tell my wife, but I, I told my kids individually, all three of them. Um, one, unfortunately I didn't get to tell until he found out about it separately. And that's still, you know, chokes me up till today. It was, um, I just felt so worthless, you know, to have to, to, to tell him and then to realize he was out with his girlfriend when he came up on his phone, you know, and Speaker 2 (11:09) I wasn't there. Speaker 1 (11:10) Um, so it was, it was a terrible time. You know, I had media knocking on my door. Um, and I, you know, I had kids at home and of course, you know, Speaker 1 (11:20) What many people don't know is that my wife, I had told her several months before that. So we were actually going through therapy and working through the problem and working through the issue. And I was trying to become a better person through therapy at that time that the news came out. So it wasn't, the news wasn't the shock to her. It was the public portion of it. And, you know, what became really clear to me is that They weren't going to stop, you know, and that I've got kids who are in high school. They're old enough to understand what's going on. The headlines, I just didn't want them to go through it any longer. And so I resigned and I