We Are Garbage w/ ARG

Bad Friends

In this episode of Bad Friends, hosts Andrew and Bobby Lee welcome Kevin and H. Foley from the 'Are You Garbage?' podcast for a high-energy roast

Key takeaways

• Guests Kevin and H. Foley are highlighted for their roles in the show Tires on Netflix.
• The hosts engage in a heavy roast of Bobby Lee's physical appearance, specifically his hair and eyes.

Main topics

• Roasting Bobby Lee
• Are You Garbage? podcast

Notable quotes

There is no room in our society for butt sniffing.

Conclusion

A chaotic and irreverent episode that showcases the chemistry between

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) You two are bad friends. Speaker 4 (0:01) Who are these two idiots? Speaker 2 (0:03) A white dude and an Speaker 4 (0:05) Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. We Speaker 2 (0:12) have Kevin and H. Foley from RU Garbage. Give them a round of applause, everybody. What's going on? Bad friendsers. What's up? You both have come up. Cleaner. Oh, thank you. Cleaner clothing. The garbage men are here. Yeah, you guys have risen. Oh, thank Speaker 3 (0:27) you. Yeah. Thank you. Before the fall, you Speaker 2 (0:29) know Speaker 3 (0:29) what I mean? No, no, there was no fall. I mean, you're acting Speaker 2 (0:31) like Harrison Ford lately. Me? Yeah, you. Why do you say that? Slicking your hair. I don't know what you're telling Doug. You know what I mean? What do you mean? He looks good. He's slicking his Speaker 5 (0:39) hair all Speaker 2 (0:39) the time. Speaker 5 (0:40) Why are you jealous? He looks good. His hair looks fantastic. Yeah. He looks smart. We all can't dress Speaker 4 (0:45) like a fashion designer. Speaker 4 (0:48) Whoa. Speaker 2 (0:48) Knives are out. Knives are out. What do you mean by that, Chachi? Boom. Happy days? Yeah, lit Speaker 4 (0:55) him up, dude. Yeah. I only do Speaker 2 (0:56) 70s references. Okay? Dino Mike! This is one of the worst roast battles I've ever seen. Anyway, you know, because you look handsome. Thank you. He looks great. Thank you. What a friend. Thank you. That's what friends do. Thank you. Yeah, you support him. You also look great. You look fantastic. That's what I wasn't even searching. I know, but Speaker 3 (1:17) you're my friend. Speaker 2 (1:18) What are you looking at? Does Andrew not give you Speaker 4 (1:20) compliments like that and talk you Speaker 3 (1:21) up? Listen, we're here to fix you two. That's Speaker 4 (1:24) what Speaker 3 (1:24) we're going to do. Speaker 2 (1:24) Him and I are in Speaker 4 (1:25) a bad place. Speaker 2 (1:26) Yeah. We're Speaker 4 (1:28) in Speaker 2 (1:28) a very bad place. Speaker 4 (1:29) Yeah. Speaker 2 (1:29) Because Speaker 4 (1:30) the audience doesn't know, but we're here for a bad friend's intervention. Speaker 3 (1:34) Now Speaker 4 (1:34) let's Speaker 2 (1:36) talk Speaker 4 (1:36) it out. What is your love language to Andrew? What do you do? What does he do for me? Yes, what do you do for him? Well, he doesn't like physical touch Speaker 2 (1:44) because that always leads to violence. Kevin also doesn't like physical touch. Yeah. Yeah, but even if like a tap on the back could turn into an arm bar. Speaker 3 (1:53) See, you're lucky I don't do Speaker 2 (1:55) that. Speaker 3 (1:55) Yeah. I just say please don't. You can't do it. I have a cyst there. Be careful. Speaker 2 (1:58) You're weak. Whoa. Okay. Speaker 3 (2:01) Personal attack. All right. You bug-eyed fool. Whoa. Speaker 2 (2:05) I'm sorry. Let's Speaker 3 (2:06) not talk about people's eye Speaker 5 (2:07) structure. I don't know. I mean, just be careful. Dude, Speaker 2 (2:10) for Asians, I'm bug-eyed. Speaker 5 (2:12) For Speaker 2 (2:12) Asians. For some Asians. Hey, you have wide eyes sometimes. Yeah, yeah. You have Speaker 5 (2:15) wide eyes. There it is. Whoa. Whoa, they're coming. Speaker 2 (2:18) Man, my accountant is fantastic. Speaker 5 (2:21) That's Speaker 4 (2:22) what Speaker 5 (2:22) we love. We love accountants. Yeah, yeah, Speaker 4 (2:23) yeah. Speaker 5 (2:23) You know white people. Oh, wait, that was Speaker 4 (2:25) a Speaker 3 (2:25) white guy? Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 4 (2:26) It's so funny. I thought I was expecting your eyes to come out with those glasses when you took them off. I just want to tell the audience. What, like a Speaker 5 (2:32) Muppet? Oh, like Speaker 4 (2:34) a Muppet. Yeah. Speaker 5 (2:34) We have two stars, two stars in our presence now from the hit show Tires on Netflix. We have Bobby Lee and H. Foley. Two of the best. Taka taka, baby. These guys stole scenes on that show in a way where no one else could have done those roles. Could anyone have- Did Speaker 2 (2:52) you Speaker 5 (2:52) see it? Be honest. No, I did not watch it. Speaker 1 (2:54) Then Speaker 3 (2:55) why Speaker 2 (2:55) are you Speaker 3 (2:55) talking? I'm not Speaker 4 (2:56) interested in watching Speaker 5 (2:57) it. Speaker 4 (2:57) I stole a lot of sandwiches from craft services. Yeah. Yeah. That hot dog. Great craft Speaker 2 (3:00) service. Remember that hot dog or that one, that cold hot dog? Yeah. That was the best hot dog I've ever had. Wait, Kraft Speaker 5 (3:04) was good on the show. Oh, the best. Top notch. They had Speaker 2 (3:07) these cold hot dogs. There's something about a cold gray hot dog. What is Speaker 3 (3:13) it? Speaker 2 (3:13) And you haven't eaten all day. It's cold outside. And they hand you this. I've never Speaker 4 (3:17) done that, but I understand what you're talking about. What Speaker 2 (3:19) do you mean? Speaker 4 (3:19) He hasn't not eaten all day. Speaker 2 (3:21) Are Speaker 4 (3:21) you Speaker 2 (3:21) crazy? Okay, okay. But they hand you. Can I finish? Please. I'm sorry about the bug-eyed thing, man. I'm Speaker 3 (3:27) thinking about Speaker 2 (3:27) walking, if I'm being honest Speaker 3 (3:28) with you. I'm going to have my agents come in here. CAA is going to have this place upside down. Speaker 2 (3:34) He knows he's got Speaker 4 (3:34) bug Speaker 3 (3:35) eyes and dark Speaker 2 (3:35) circles under his eyes and a big forehead. Wow. Yeah. Speaker 4 (3:38) Okay. Speaker 2 (3:39) A lot of shots Speaker 5 (3:40) going on. Speaker 2 (3:41) Yeah, but we have connections to hair if you want it. What's Speaker 5 (3:44) that? Speaker 2 (3:44) Yeah, look at his new hair. Oh, yeah. Is that new hair? It looks old as shit, if I'm being honest. What's that, Kentucky bluegrass? Speaker 3 (3:50) Where'd you go? What the fuck? She got lost in the fescue. Hey, where's my golfers at? Yeah. Speaker 5 (3:55) We got him some hair. We were able to get him some hair. Whoa. See, Speaker 2 (4:00) that's where he was at. It's before and after. That's before and after. I kind of like it before, if I'm being honest. Speaker 3 (4:07) I don't know how much money you spent, but I like the before. It was free. Speaker 4 (4:11) I didn't know you used to be Christopher Lloyd. Holy shit. Speaker 3 (4:14) Run, Marty! Speaker 4 (4:16) Dude, you look like a fly. Speaker 1 (4:19) Like Speaker 2 (4:19) a hairless fly. You know how they see hairless bears? It looks great, man. You look awesome. That's Speaker 4 (4:25) a hairless fly, dude. Do you go to Turkey? No, Speaker 2 (4:27) Beverly Hills. Oh. Whoa. The Turkey of LA. The Turkey of LA. Speaker 4 (4:33) Nice. Speaker 2 (4:34) Yeah. What is Turkey? Has anybody been to Turkey? I don't know. Is it Istanbul? Istanbul. I Speaker 3 (4:39) still go by Constantinople. I'm old school. Speaker 2 (4:41) Yeah. Speaker 3 (4:42) This guy's a historian. Speaker 2 (4:43) I'm a Mesopotamian, man. Ooh. Do you know about Zoroastrianism? Yeah. What does it tell you about it? Speaker 4 (4:50) I like it fried. Just Speaker 2 (4:54) a little bit of tomato. I like two pickles. Bun. Right, but I like the Zoroastrianism very bad. What is it? Is Speaker 4 (5:02) that like astrology? Speaker 5 (5:03) It's one of the oldest organized monotheistic religions originating in ancient Persia, modern day Iran. I'm out. Oh, yeah, that's like Ghostbusters, too. Fuck that. No, Speaker 2 (5:12) no, no, no, no, no, no, Speaker 4 (5:13) no. Speaker 2 (5:14) I'm Zoroastrianism. Really? Yeah. What does it do? Speaker 3 (5:17) What are you about? What does that look like? Well, Speaker 2 (5:20) all I know about Speaker 3 (5:21) Zoroastrianism, all I know about it, Speaker 2 (5:24) I'm going to tell you, is there is a... Comedy club owner. Okay. And I show up and I go into my hotel room and he walks me to my hotel room. The Speaker 3 (5:32) owner? Speaker 2 (5:33) Yes. Ah, that's right. I've never seen that before. Speaker 5 (5:35) Have you ever seen that before? Well, he owns the hotel as well. Yeah, he probably did. Him just checking the Speaker 2 (5:38) room. And there's a woman in my room. Right. And he goes, buddy, I've got you a woman. And I go, I don't want. What? Also, she wasn't even, I wasn't even attracted to this woman. Okay. You Speaker 5 (5:51) know Speaker 2 (5:51) what I mean? Speaker 5 (5:51) I like how that's the weird thing. Not that there's Speaker 1 (5:55) a Speaker 5 (5:55) stranger in my room. I'm not even attracted Speaker 2 (5:57) to that woman. Speaker 1 (6:00) I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But the whole Speaker 2 (6:01) weekend he was like, I'm Zoroasterism. And he told me about the beliefs. I don't know much about it. Tell Speaker 3 (6:08) it to the cops, pal. Yeah. Was this guy Iranian? He looked brown. Speaker 2 (6:13) Yes. What? The answer is yes, probably. Speaker 5 (6:16) Yeah, so he was. Describing it to the police. What did he look like? He looked like he was a Zoroastrian. You guys know what I'm talking about. You guys know the Speaker 3 (6:23) Lord of Wisdom, Speaker 2 (6:23) right? You Speaker 3 (6:24) guys know that. Speaker 5 (6:25) Zoroastrianism. The Lord of Wisdom. And life involves a constant moral choice between asha, truth, order, and righteousness, or derange. Random ladies in a hotel room. Falsehood and chaos. Yeah, Speaker 2 (6:34) yeah, yeah. Speaker 5 (6:34) So it's Speaker 2 (6:35) a Speaker 5 (6:35) constant moral choice. So he loves chaos. I am Speaker 2 (6:37) pure asha. You know that, right? What's... Truth, order, and righteousness. Right? Am I... I'm... Asha, 100%. You got a lot of Druge in you, pal. No, no, no, no. A Speaker 4 (6:47) lot of Speaker 2 (6:47) falsehood and chaos. No, I'm Asha for sure. Truth, order for real, and righteousness. Obviously. Righteousness is my thing. I Speaker 5 (6:55) know. I always think Speaker 2 (6:56) that about you. Yeah. What do you think? I Speaker 5 (6:58) think you're Mr. Druge. I should call you Druge from now on. Okay, so I'm falsehood and chaos. Yeah. Look at everyone in the booth nod simultaneously. It's almost, I mean, it was that. Could I have Ashad? Speaker 3 (7:09) It's Speaker 2 (7:10) the Speaker 3 (7:10) prime directive is good thoughts, good words, good deeds. Your show is called Bad Friends. Speaker 2 (7:14) Yeah, that's. Oh, fuck. I don't have it then. No. I don't have the core beliefs. Speaker 5 (7:20) What ended up happening in this story with this woman in your room? I was just Speaker 2 (7:24) giving you an example of the one example. Did you have sex with her, Bobby? No. You said, please leave? I swear to God. Why? Who? I swear to Zorro. I swear to God. I swear to Amor Amazda. I swear to Amor Amazda, the Lord of Wisdom. Down Speaker 5 (7:41) below, who's the prophet right there, the founder? Who's the prophet? Prophet Zaratasuriel. You got to swear to they. Speaker 2 (7:49) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 4 (7:50) Zara. Let's move on. He lived for 500 years? Yeah, dude. The numbers go backwards back then. Speaker 2 (7:59) Explain it to me what you're trying to Speaker 4 (8:00) say. They should have just started at zero and went up. Doesn't matter when, who was what. Speaker 5 (8:03) Yeah. It doesn't sound like a good Catholic to me, pal. Speaker 4 (8:07) Why? They changed it from fucking BC to BCE. It was before Christ and after death. Speaker 2 (8:12) That's what I thought Speaker 4 (8:13) it meant. Speaker 2 (8:13) But the real danger is this, guys. What? What Speaker 4 (8:15) is it? Speaker 2 (8:16) The butt sniffer is back. Speaker 4 (8:18) Who's that? Is that a dog or something? Speaker 2 (8:20) Glendale. He's back. The butt sniffer. Speaker 4 (8:22) Oh, I know the guy you're talking about. This Speaker 2 (8:24) man. Yeah. Speaker 5 (8:25) No kidding. Speaker 4 (8:26) Khalees Crowder. Speaker 5 (8:27) He's Speaker 4 (8:27) back. Speaker 5 (8:27) 39-year-old registered sex offender dubbed the butt sniffer arrested in Glendale on suspicion of violating his parole after allegedly targeting shoppers and local businesses. And this is what he does. Sniffing away. Speaker 2 (8:38) Sniffing away downtown. He's Speaker 3 (8:39) at Speaker 2 (8:39) a Dollar Tree store. Okay? Speaker 5 (8:43) He just made a good joke. Speaker 2 (8:44) Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't hear it. Yeah, well then sit the fuck back down. I'm trying to explain to you. Oh, Speaker 5 (8:49) let's see. Show Speaker 4 (8:50) us the butt sniffing. No, I want to see it, Bobby. And pull your pants up. God damn. What's wrong with these kids today anyway? That's Speaker 2 (8:56) your Speaker 4 (8:56) boy. Speaker 2 (8:56) Pretending to get something on a bottom shelf because he sees a woman. And he'll sniff a butt. Sniff a butt. Speaker 3 (9:02) Hmm. Speaker 2 (9:03) Yeah. And Speaker 3 (9:03) do they get, are they catching him in the act or is it like? Yeah, they're catching him on video. Video Speaker 4 (9:08) of it right there. I know, but Speaker 3 (9:09) I'm saying. Speaker 2 (9:10) Okay. Look at him. Sorry. Look at that face, dude. Speaker 4 (9:12) It's Speaker 5 (9:12) a Speaker 4 (9:12) bad friend's vibe. Yeah, yeah. Now, what aisle is that in? Speaker 2 (9:15) That's what I really Speaker 4 (9:15) want. Speaker 2 (9:16) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where Speaker 5 (9:17) is he sniffing? Is that in? Self-help? No. Speaker 2 (9:20) Oh, self-help. That's a good one. Speaker 5 (9:22) Alleged serial backside sniffer admits to violating parole will serve four months in county jail. A heat wave coming through Los Angeles tomorrow morning. I mean, unbelievable. On KTLA. You know, there is no room in our society for butt sniffing. However, funny. I'm Speaker 3 (9:39) not. Yeah, I Speaker 5 (9:39) don't know. I don't Speaker 4 (9:41) know Speaker 5 (9:41) about it. What Speaker 2 (9:41) about arm sniffer? Speaker 4 (9:43) Yeah, what about arm sniffing? Yeah. Is that what you're into? That's what he is. Speaker 2 (9:46) Armpit. Bobby's in armpits. Really? Speaker 4 (9:49) You like armpit sniffing? I'm a vag guy. These guys look like your neighbors. I've always been vag. I've already ordered a blizzard from one of you guys. Speaker 2 (9:58) I've been vag all day. Speaker 4 (10:00) You've been vag all day? No, I like to smell vag all day. Yeah, I'm with you on that. Yeah, not strangers. Speaker 2 (10:05) No, no, no, not strangers. Like my girlfriends. Speaker 3 (10:07) Yeah. Speaker 2 (10:08) We found... Oh, you didn't know that? I didn't Speaker 3 (10:11) know, yeah. Speaker 2 (10:12) That's Speaker 4 (10:12) since the last time I talked. Speaker 2 (10:13) Oh, really? Yeah, I have one now. Speaker 4 (10:14) It's awesome. Congratulations, man. Speaker 2 (10:15) Thank Speaker 4 (10:15) you, Speaker 2 (10:16) bud. Speaker 4 (10:16) Congratulations, buddy. Wish you all the happiness in the world. Speaker 3 (10:20) Bobby's the only guy I can compliment or wish well, and I go, wait, am I now fighting? There's Speaker 4 (10:26) no Speaker 3 (10:26) sincerity. No, Speaker 4 (10:26) he doesn't know. He doesn't like sincerity. I do. You don't. It bugs Speaker 2 (10:31) you out. All right. Speaker 4 (10:32) Let's get to the... Why are you guys beefing? Speaker 2 (10:35) No, no. Let's get to the foundation of what's going on right here. Okay. All right. I need to know. Okay. What is going on? Okay. Do we have strife? You and I? Yeah. It's pure. That's what Speaker 4 (10:48) I'm talking about. Our friendship Speaker 2 (10:49) is pure. 100%. It's based on purity. Speaker 4 (10:51) I've never done nothing but talk you up. Every time I see Speaker 2 (10:53) you, dude, you give me a good smile. I love you, bud. You bug your eyes out. Speaker 3 (10:57) That's just for you. My eyes are normal. I know. You do it perfectly Speaker 2 (10:59) for me. Speaker 3 (10:59) My eyes are normal. I see Bobby. I get so excited, my eyes fall out of my head. So Speaker 2 (11:02) I guess right here, we're good. We're great. I think some of the fucking current that you're giving me here, bud. What did I give you? You look at me with a sneer. I've been sneering. I'll be sharing. Have you noticed there's always like a little, this is what, he sits there like this. Speaker 4 (11:20) Well, being the you in our relationship. Yeah, I'm a little biased. From the outside, I can see some things. You stormed in when we were recording Whiskey Ginger. And I did a Japanese voice. You get up here. Did I do a Speaker 2 (11:32) Japanese voice? And aren't Speaker 4 (11:33) you Korean? Yeah. I Speaker 2 (11:34) know. I was sort of mind boggling. They're allowed Speaker 4 (11:36) to now. Yeah. There's no beef between Korea and Japan, right? It's China and Japan. No, brother, it's all of them. Speaker 5 (11:42) China and Speaker 4 (11:43) Japan do not like each other. I got beef with all of them. You do? Except for that crab rangoon, huh? Am I right? Speaker 3 (11:52) Oh, boy, Speaker 2 (11:53) go. Speaker 5 (11:57) I got to tell you, there's beef within all of them. But he does, yeah, he busts in, he does the Japanese accent. Yeah. Does Speaker 3 (12:02) that now, as the you of this situation, how does that, does that ruffle your feathers a little bit? Used to it so Speaker 5 (12:09) much. He's a wild card. Yeah, he's a wild card. And you got to know the wild card's going to be wild. What Bobby Speaker 4 (12:13) has, you Speaker 2 (12:13) can't Speaker 5 (12:13) be Speaker 2 (12:13) taught. Speaker 5 (12:15) It's Speaker 2 (12:15) pure raw. I don't want to talk about myself today because it's about you. Why? What is it, my wedding day? No, no, no. It's about you two and your glorious rise. Oh. Speaker 5 (12:27) These two young men have a new special that they put out and they did it in the best way, by the way. It's called American Garbage. It's out on their YouTube channel right now. It's incredible. Filmed it at Sidesplitters down in Tampa. They get some of the best questions because their fans give them, like you could, they have a. of great questions to describe whether or not you're garbage. Has Bobby been tested about his level of garbage? Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had you on, right? Yeah, way back in the day. Way back in the Speaker 2 (12:50) day, yeah. Speaker 5 (12:51) What was the number, yes? Oh yeah. Yeah, gotta be much garbage, yeah. Oh, Speaker 2 (12:55) I'm full of garbage. But in a Speaker 5 (12:56) good way. Yeah. You're lovable. I'm Oscar the Grouch. A Speaker 1 (12:59) lot of plastics. Speaker 5 (12:59) A Speaker 4 (12:59) lot of PFAS. Speaker 2 (13:00) Yeah, and straws. Yeah. And that kind of garbage. Very Speaker 4 (13:05) high palate though. I'm Speaker 2 (13:07) sophisticated in many ways. Nice dinner. Oh Speaker 4 (13:09) dude. He likes salvaged denim and fashion. Yeah. Weird glasses. Are those expensive? They look expensive. They're so ugly, they look expensive. Speaker 2 (13:22) I love being ripped on. Speaker 4 (13:24) Do more. Do my face. No. Yeah, moon. Now you're scaring me. Speaker 2 (13:28) Like I slammed into a wall that's all flat, you know? What? Let's go! I love it. I love it. I love it. Bobby, take it Speaker 4 (13:36) easy. No, no, no. Speaker 5 (13:37) No, too much. Relax. We're Speaker 2 (13:38) friends. All right. Sorry. I apologize. Good friend. Speaker 5 (13:42) Show these guys the brain scan I sent you. Of Bobby? Yeah, this is incredible. They found a brain scan of Bobby. Doctors scanned a 44-year-old man, found nearly 90 % of his brain gone. Skull was filled with fluid, and yet he had a job, wife, kids, and lived a completely normal life. That's awesome. Isn't that incredible? That's sick. I might have that. Yeah. I wouldn't want to know. Just let me, because then you're worried about it. 75 IQ, and this man held a good job, family, kids. Wait, this might be Foley. Is he good? Yeah, he's fine. He's alive. He's cruising. Just no brain. Probably doesn't worry Speaker 4 (14:12) about stuff, doesn't think about the past, the future. Speaker 3 (14:17) 75, what is that scale for IQ? I know it's low, but I'm saying what is the legally down? You can say it. What's the line? Speaker 2 (14:29) I think Speaker 3 (14:29) the legal line is around 60 something, probably 68. Speaker 2 (14:32) I think the real question is where did it go? We should find his brain. That's also true. Where's his brain? The brain's Speaker 3 (14:38) out there somewhere. Speaker 2 (14:39) Somewhere his Speaker 5 (14:40) brain is just chilling. Maybe Speaker 3 (14:42) at Speaker 5 (14:42) a Cracker Barrel. Speaker 2 (14:43) Having a hash. Speaker 5 (14:45) So this says 50 to 70 is intellectual disability. 35 to 50 is moderate. Severe is 20 to 35. Anything below 20 is profound. Foley, you are profound. You are a profound man. Speaker 4 (15:00) You think... You would think profound would be like super smart. He's profound. Speaker 3 (15:03) You Speaker 5 (15:04) have Speaker 4 (15:04) to say that at that level. Well, Speaker 3 (15:05) at that Speaker 4 (15:05) level, you got to make them think they're like a superhero. You're like, whoa, Speaker 3 (15:09) you're profound. Mr. Speaker 4 (15:11) Profound. I had my IQ tested in college. It was 115. God bless. That's really good. Yeah. That's a really good Speaker 5 (15:19) lie too. Speaker 2 (15:19) I don't think mine's high either. 115 sounds right. You Speaker 4 (15:22) think so? No way. No. Have you had your IQ tested? Yeah. What are you? 145. You're 145. 145. Whoa. No, that's not true. I Speaker 5 (15:32) know. Have you tested? No, no. I got to be sub-100 for sure. I got to be just kissing 96 or something like that. No, no, no. You know a lot. No, not enough. Average IQ in the United States is 98. See, I told you I'm probably right around 96 to 98. Just below average maybe. Speaker 2 (15:46) This is a below Speaker 5 (15:46) average room, I would Speaker 2 (15:47) imagine. Oh, for sure. Do me now. Do me. Speaker 5 (15:49) I'm going to go with profound, my friend. Speaker 5 (15:52) No. That's comedy. No chance. No chance. Speaker 2 (15:57) Oh my God, I'm profound. Speaker 5 (15:59) You know what the problem with these tests are? Racism. Racism. Yeah. Thank you, Foley. Speaker 3 (16:06) Obviously. Yeah. Speaker 5 (16:07) No, you know, it is really fucked up though. I was never going to standardize testing, so I probably would fail this miserably. Speaker 3 (16:14) What is the question? Isn't it more like logic-based questions? It is logic too. Is it Speaker 4 (16:19) multiple choice? I never understood what standardized test meant. What does that mean? Everybody takes it. This guy is my profound best friend. It's not Speaker 2 (16:29) 115, man. Speaker 5 (16:33) You're not even American. Speaker 2 (16:35) He Speaker 5 (16:36) is now. He just got, yeah. Hey! Here you go. Opaque is to transparent as labyrinth is to... Speaker 2 (16:45) Straightforward. Holy... Straightforward is right. It's straightforward. Speaker 2 (16:51) Why not? Speaker 5 (16:52) A man looks at a photograph and says, brothers and sisters, I have none, but that man's father is my father's son, whose photograph is the man looking Speaker 4 (16:58) at himself. Speaker 5 (16:58) I know this. Wait, this is the question? No, this is the internet. This is all. Oh, I was going to say, Speaker 4 (17:02) this is one of those stupid things like the- It says mock IQ. Yeah, this is something you said when you were a kid. This is mocking us. Brothers and sisters, I have none, Speaker 5 (17:11) but that man's father is Speaker 4 (17:12) my friend. Let's do one more. Let's do one more. Speaker 5 (17:14) If five machines take five minutes to make five widgets, how long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? Uncrustables. Speaker 3 (17:21) Is that what you're bringing? If that's not one of the answers, I don't Speaker 5 (17:24) know Speaker 3 (17:24) what is. I'm starving. 100 minutes. Fuck! Speaker 5 (17:28) Yeah, five minutes. Yeah, yeah. Quiz complete. Let's see how you scored. 40%. Not good. So I think we might be profound. Yeah, Speaker 2 (17:35) I think we're profound. Fuck this. This is awful. What is this? This is all Speaker 5 (17:38) AI bullshit. Speaker 2 (17:40) That's right. That Speaker 4 (17:41) one question was like the one a man A train leaves the station. No. A man catches Speaker 3 (17:48) his wife. Fuck Speaker 4 (17:48) that. No. Banging a midget. That Speaker 2 (17:51) test is a whore. I Speaker 4 (17:53) can beat that. A man and his son. A surgeon and his son are in a bad car accident. The surgeon dies instantly. The son... I'll stop you right here. Right? Speaker 2 (18:05) The surgeon is his mother. Yeah. Speaker 4 (18:07) The Speaker 3 (18:08) surgeon is his mother? Because we don't think women with Speaker 2 (18:09) their tiny brains can be a doctor. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Speaker 4 (18:12) That's like that question. It's not the same thing. Yes, it is. No, it's not. All right, fine. If a plane crashes on the border between Canada and America, where do they bury their survivors?