Something’s Bubbling

Bad Friends

In this episode of 'Bad Friends,' the hosts dive into a mix of absurd humor, personal anecdotes, and surreal musings, ranging from fictional travel tales

Key takeaways

• The hosts use exaggerated storytelling to highlight how perception shapes reality, blurring lines between truth and fiction.

Main topics

• Travel anecdotes (Scotland, New York, Cambodia)
• Food culture (corn and chicken pizza in Scotland)

Notable quotes

Ain't going out like that. Ain't going out like that.

Every baby he's ever had came out with sunglasses. That's a fact. Google it.

Conclusion

The episode concludes with a blend of absurdity and reflection, underscoring

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:04) The Speaker 1 (0:05) city moves fast, but your vibe, that's different. Sharper, smoother, more alive. Speaker 2 (0:15) The new Speaker 1 (0:20) Honda City isn't just made to drive, it's made to feel. The new Honda City, all new vibe. Speaker 5 (0:28) Right? Anything you Speaker 4 (0:30) want, you got it. Pretty woman, you got it. Anything you want. Speaker 4 (0:40) Pretty woman. Speaker 2 (0:44) Blue Speaker 4 (0:45) Bayou, baby. I love Roy Orbison. I know you do. Here's Speaker 2 (0:52) a Speaker 4 (0:52) fact. I'm on an Orbison kick. Every baby he's ever had came out with sunglasses. Every single baby. That's a fact. Google it. Google it. Ain't Speaker 1 (1:03) going Speaker 4 (1:03) out Speaker 1 (1:04) like that. Ain't Speaker 4 (1:05) going out like Speaker 1 (1:06) that. Ain't going out. Speaker 4 (1:07) Ain't going out like that. See, I have songs in my head Speaker 5 (1:10) as well. You're a big song guy. Yeah. Speaker 4 (1:12) Cypress Hill, baby. You Speaker 2 (1:13) two are best. Who Speaker 4 (1:15) are these Speaker 5 (1:15) two idiots? Speaker 2 (1:16) Dude, I'm an Asian dude. You two are bad friends. Who Speaker 5 (1:25) got back their new old car? You did. Speaker 4 (1:28) Ain't going out like that. Ain't going out like that. Speaker 4 (1:37) Getting it out getting it out. It's good to see you man. We talk forever We've been talking forever. We keep talking we Speaker 5 (1:44) keep talking we Speaker 4 (1:45) talk until you to stop listening And that's them the rules and I hope you keep listening. I just got back from Scotland. No you didn't I did You told me you didn't go what yeah, you told me you didn't go. Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah. Yeah. Did you go? Yeah Why would you tell me you didn't go? I Speaker 5 (2:03) like to keep Speaker 4 (2:04) you on your toes. No, no, no. It's so crazy. He's like, I'm in New York. I like to keep you on your toes, Stone. You and Scott Lee goes, no, I'm in New York. I'm in New York. That's what he said. And I go, so what's the truth? I went to New York to get a slice. Yeah. Dude, I was- I went to Cambodia. Anyone can say things. I Speaker 5 (2:22) lied to you. That's my point. I lied to you. Actually, I didn't end up the day I was supposed to be there. We got our flight diverted halfway there. I'm texting. I think I texted Carlos. I had to go down to Atlanta. There was a- Tornado in New York, not a real thing. So they made us go to Atlanta. Then from Atlanta, they were like, we're going to get to New York tonight. I was like, great. I'll make my flight to Scotland. We take off. My flight to Scotland also takes off. Into space. Into space. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Because that's a space move. Well, that's where Scotland is in space. Scotland's in Speaker 4 (2:48) space. So I went to Scotland. It was amazing. I had so much fun. I ended up going a day late, but it was great. It was great. Scottish. Yeah. And all the Scots. All the Scots were like. He's coming down the hill. You like Scotland? Speaker 5 (3:00) You like our food now, Speaker 4 (3:02) Andrew? Speaker 5 (3:02) Do Speaker 4 (3:02) you? Do you, Andrew? You talk about it on Bad Friends. You like my food now, Andrew? Speaker 5 (3:07) Really good. Is it good? Yeah. Did we talk bad about their food on the show? People got mad at me. I Speaker 1 (3:13) don't remember. People Speaker 5 (3:13) came up to me in Speaker 1 (3:14) the Speaker 5 (3:14) restaurant. They're like, is the food as bad as you talk about in Bad Friends? I was like, the food's great. And they're like, no. We never went to Scotland. Speaker 4 (3:20) That's what I'm saying. But I'd been. Speaker 5 (3:21) Why would you say that? Because I'd Speaker 4 (3:22) been before. Yeah. So no. Speaker 5 (3:24) It improved. Speaker 4 (3:25) Okay. Is it? It got Speaker 5 (3:27) better. Is it better than New York? Ain't nothing better than a slice in New York. Speaker 4 (3:31) Hey, how you doing? When I walk around New York City, I get a slice. Yeah. Speaker 5 (3:39) No, it was great. And then my buddy Joey's wife ordered pizza for everyone late night hanging out. I was like, God, what a good move. And then she goes, I got three pepperonis and one corn and chicken. And I was like, that's not a real pizza. I've never heard of corn and chicken in my entire life. It's apparently- Wait, wait, wait. It's a big hit in Scotland. Speaker 4 (3:57) Wait, wait. There's corn in the chicken. Speaker 5 (3:59) Corn Speaker 4 (3:59) and chicken pizza. Yeah. Never seen it in my life. I prefer the chicken in the corn. Yeah. That's more of a difficult process to make. Put the chicken in the corn. No. I put little chickens inside the kernel. Speaker 1 (4:10) Oh, Speaker 4 (4:11) that works. That works. Yeah. Speaker 5 (4:13) Someone got a haircut, huh? Your hair is sliced. Sliced and diced. Yeah, me too, dude. Look at me. I got a snip too. Speaker 1 (4:20) We Speaker 3 (4:20) all Speaker 1 (4:20) do. Speaker 4 (4:20) We all got snips, dude. It's so hot, that's why. Speaker 5 (4:23) Is it Speaker 4 (4:23) global warming? Way too hot. It's Speaker 1 (4:25) a myth. Speaker 4 (4:25) You think it's a myth? I don't know. I think you're a myth. I think you're a myth, dude. I think you're mythological. You're a mythological creature. Yeah, yeah. You're a siren like I talked about earlier. Dude, Speaker 5 (4:35) what if we find out he goes home to his wife and he talks with a regular American accent? This is all a big put on for the past six years of our lives. Speaker 1 (4:41) Oh, dude. No, Speaker 5 (4:42) but Scotland was great. It was also hot in England, which is impossible. It was hot. Yeah, it's bad, Dan. All the wildfires in Europe. Oh, I know. Oh, yeah. Spain, right? In France. In France? All the wildfires? What happened in España? A bunch of fires in España? Speaker 1 (4:55) Yeah. Lots of fires. Yeah. This happened in Spain today. Speaker 5 (4:59) Hundreds of migrants with wetsuits and inflatables reached Spain. Speaker 4 (5:04) And when they say migrants as Mexicans, they swam a long way. That's so far. That's a long way. Across the Speaker 3 (5:09) Atlantic. Yeah. The African Mexicans. Speaker 4 (5:11) Yeah. Speaker 5 (5:12) So this is them jumping the border? Speaker 3 (5:14) He has Burberry on. What the hell? Speaker 5 (5:16) Yeah. They give that out for free now if you enter the country. Yeah. They're Speaker 3 (5:20) saying, what's up? Speaker 5 (5:21) What's up? Wow. Oh, look at that. Who cuts the fence? I want to know the guy that cuts the fence. What do you mean cuts the fence? Well, because you see them going, sneaking through the fence. I want to know who's clipping it. Who's got the wire cutters to cut through the fence? Wow. See, they're handing them out waters. They climbed Speaker 4 (5:33) the fence. What are you talking about? They Speaker 5 (5:35) just cut through. They had a video. Someone had cut a hole in the fence and they were going right through it. Speaker 4 (5:39) Huge. Oh, you know what I'm addicted to? Jimothy. Oh, Speaker 5 (5:44) it's Speaker 1 (5:44) so Speaker 4 (5:44) cute! Skunk, right? What is it? What is it, skunk? Speaker 5 (5:50) Who is Jimothy, dude? You don't know about Jimothy guy? I'm behind. Oh, the raccoon, yeah. Oh, guy, dude. I want one. You want a handicap raccoon? Yeah. It's a skunk. Well, it used to be. What is Speaker 1 (6:01) it? It's a raccoon. Speaker 5 (6:02) It's Speaker 1 (6:02) a Speaker 5 (6:02) raccoon. My raccoon. No, but I think you're still correct. I think a handicapped raccoon is a skunk. Maybe. I think that's Speaker 4 (6:07) what they are. Yeah. But let me tell you something. If I had never heard of Jimothy and I was in my backyard smoking a cigarette or whatever. And Speaker 5 (6:12) saw Speaker 4 (6:12) it? And saw it, I would freak the fuck out. The world's coming to an end. I'd Speaker 5 (6:16) go, oh my Speaker 4 (6:16) God, I didn't hit it with a bat. Speaker 5 (6:19) Don't kill Jimothy. Speaker 4 (6:20) Yeah, I would kill Jimothy. No, Speaker 5 (6:21) no. Speaker 4 (6:21) Wouldn't you freak the fuck out if you had never heard of Jimothy and you saw Jimothy in your backyard? Speaker 5 (6:25) Oh, he got that triple S, that short spine syndrome. Oh. That sounds like a Theo Vaughn-ism. Yeah. He got that short spine syndrome, dude. Yeah. Jimothy, dude. There was a Chinese guy with one eye with short spine syndrome. That's a Theo Vaughn Speaker 4 (6:38) bit. Speaker 5 (6:38) We had a lot of good, a lot of bad friends loved over there, man. Speaker 4 (6:40) Humans can Speaker 3 (6:41) get it too, just FYI. Speaker 4 (6:42) Oh, let me see. Well, no, I don't. Oh, wow. Carlos, why do you go darker? He Speaker 5 (6:48) goes so dark. Yeah. By the way, Carlos's hair is coming in. Speaker 3 (6:52) Oh, yeah. Speaker 5 (6:53) Look at, bend down a little bit. Look at that, dude. It's like getting full. I said, what if you hate it? What if it all grows in and you're like, I didn't like it. I didn't want it. I wanted to be bald. That Speaker 3 (7:03) is a fear for sure. You do, huh? No, but I'm into it. You're going to grow Speaker 5 (7:07) out really Speaker 4 (7:07) long though? Speaker 3 (7:08) I'm just going to go as long as possible. Like see what I have a new gay barber and I'm going to let him. Oh, I love Speaker 4 (7:13) gay barbers. Oh, they're my favorite. Yeah. Slice and dice you. Yeah. He's great. Spin you around in that chair. You want crop or you want square in your back? Speaker 3 (7:22) I mean, I wanted to do a line here too. Oh, you want like a cool, like a young guy, like a cool young Speaker 5 (7:27) hip guy. Yeah, Speaker 3 (7:28) from the 90s. Speaker 4 (7:29) The Speaker 5 (7:29) trip was incredible. Then I went to jolly old England, had a good little time in England. Met some cool people. I met the owner of Palace, you know, Palace Skate Shop. Speaker 4 (7:37) Oh, I love Palace. I know. I met the owner. Wow. Pretty cool. Yeah. And I was like, I own. So let's talk about when you were gone, what my week looked like. Speaker 5 (7:45) What Speaker 4 (7:45) happened? What? Bad stuff? No, not bad stuff. I didn't leave the house for five days in a row. Why? Oh, you were not feeling. Speaker 5 (7:54) We called. Yeah, I wasn't feeling well. I was Speaker 4 (7:56) bed Speaker 3 (7:56) rotting. Speaker 4 (7:57) Yeah. Speaker 5 (7:57) Yeah. Speaker 4 (7:58) And I watched things. Speaker 3 (8:01) Yeah. Speaker 4 (8:02) Ken Burns, you know. You're on your Ken Burns kick lately. You're on a documentary. Yeah, yeah. What are you watching? And I didn't, I just, I just had sex. With Ken Burns. Yes. Yeah. Very tight. Incredible. Very tight. Historical. Yeah. It's like rust, his butthole. Like an army ration can. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some gold. It's great. Yeah. You get to try Ken Burns. What historical documentaries did you rip through? I saw Vietnam again. Civil War. Civil War. Yeah. It's Speaker 1 (8:33) a Speaker 4 (8:33) good one. It's Speaker 1 (8:33) a Speaker 4 (8:33) good war. Speaker 1 (8:34) Winter Soldier. Yeah. Winter Soldier was a good historical. Ken Burns did that. Speaker 5 (8:39) Oh, I saw another comment. I saw another comment today on the internet about Odyssey, about someone had like, what's her name, had her ears pierced. She had three whole piercings in her ears. And they were like, you couldn't cover that up for the historical reference. The actress, what's her name? Zendaya. She had like multiple ear piercings or something. Well, Speaker 4 (8:56) she's a god, so it doesn't matter. Gods Speaker 5 (8:58) can have piercings. Speaker 4 (8:58) Yeah, they can have whatever they want. I don't disagree. Yeah. I don't disagree. Poseidon can have a piercing in his penis. He did. That's where it came from. It's Speaker 5 (9:06) called the Speaker 4 (9:06) Poseidon piercing. Yeah, but you got to watch it, dude. I know. I didn't have a dime of time. I was having a good time jumping around. I feel like you're not going to watch it in the theater. Speaker 5 (9:15) I'm going to, but I got to tell you, the last time I looked, I told Carlos, I was like, look for me, and there was no seat. Everything was sold out. Everything's still sold out, dude. Yeah. Speaker 4 (9:22) It's like impossible to get a couple of seats. Well, you want to see it in 70 millimeter. You have to. No, you don't. I saw it at the Regal North Hollywood Shit Theater. These guys have both said you should see it in 70. Speaker 1 (9:32) Yeah. Speaker 5 (9:33) I'm going to wait to go until it thins out. You promised me you're going to watch it? Scout's Honor. Scout's Honor. Yeah. Scout's Honor. Yeah. Blow. I rewatched that. Blow? I rewatched Blow. I rewatched Catch Me If You Can on the plane. One of the greatest, I mean, one of the greatest. You Speaker 4 (9:51) know what's great about that is comforting. You're comforted by these movies. I don't Speaker 5 (9:55) know why, but I love it so much. I Speaker 4 (9:56) know. I have a lot of comforting movies. The Speaker 5 (9:58) scene of him in the hotel. negotiating her price and then tricking her by giving her like a bigger check than he owes her and her giving him cash. Is Speaker 4 (10:06) that Scorsese? Speaker 1 (10:08) No, Speaker 5 (10:08) Spielberg. Wow. Does he miss that guy? My God. That scene was so good, dude, with her, with Jennifer Garner. Oh, and she's like, how much would I cost if I was in a gift shop? What a line, dude. Watch Speaker 4 (10:19) Disclosure Day. Disclosure Day. It's out and streaming. Speaker 5 (10:23) Right now? Yeah. Okay, I can watch it Speaker 4 (10:25) at home. You're going to see the downfall. Why? The downfall of Spielberg. Speaker 5 (10:29) No, shut up. He's still the man. Was it good? Okay. I'm sure he's still the man. It was Speaker 4 (10:35) okay. Yeah. Well, it's Speaker 5 (10:37) blunt, right? Yeah. Speaker 4 (10:38) She's great. Speaker 5 (10:39) Yeah. Speaker 4 (10:40) She's good in it. Speaker 5 (10:40) Not her Speaker 4 (10:41) fault. It's never Speaker 5 (10:42) her fault. Who wrote it? Spielberg, I think. No, no. There's no way he wrote Speaker 1 (10:46) that. David Koepp. Speaker 5 (10:48) David Koepp. Speaker 1 (10:49) The guy who did Jurassic Park. It's too Speaker 4 (10:51) close to Close Encounters. I love Close Encounters. Speaker 1 (10:55) It's... Speaker 4 (10:56) It has that vibe that we need to get here. Sure. Right? To see the alien. Speaker 1 (11:01) Yeah. Speaker 4 (11:02) Yeah. And then I slipped into the Marilyn Monroe documentary on the plane, which I- Tell me. I don't know nothing. I got to tell you. Excuse me, master. I know nothing about her. Speaker 5 (11:11) Okay. The mystery. What is it called? The mystery of Marilyn Monroe. The amount of tapes that this guy has who put this together of like confidential audio tapes. Like calls between her and the president and stuff. It's crazy. I mean- So obvious they had her murdered. Like so clearly they had her killed, pilled up and killed. And they covered it all up. And so many people knew. Like everyone in Hollywood knew because she was rubbing elbows with people she shouldn't have rubbed elbows with. Speaker 4 (11:36) Is Speaker 5 (11:36) she Speaker 4 (11:36) hotter than Margot Robbie though? Speaker 5 (11:38) 100%. She was the hottest star I think we've ever had. Ever, ever, ever. Dude, they have video of her. This is pre-lip filler. She Speaker 1 (11:45) is Speaker 5 (11:45) mythological. She was. She should have been in the Odyssey. Yeah. Speaker 4 (11:49) You know who Elizabeth Taylor was beautiful back then? Stunning. Stunning. But Speaker 5 (11:52) what I'm saying is this is- Big old titties. This is pre-getting work done and you see Speaker 4 (11:55) her without Speaker 5 (11:55) any makeup Speaker 4 (11:56) and Speaker 5 (11:56) Marilyn Speaker 4 (11:56) Monroe- Look at how beautiful. I'm more of Elizabeth Taylor. Do you like how I Speaker 5 (12:01) look, Robert? Yeah. Speaker 4 (12:02) She's hot, dude. That's a good Elizabeth Taylor. That was Elizabeth Taylor. Yeah, yeah. Speaker 5 (12:06) No, but Marilyn Monroe, stunning, stunning. Oh my God, look at her face, dude. She looks like, Julie Andrews was hot like that when she was young, dude. Yeah, she was. She's Speaker 4 (12:13) beautiful. Speaker 5 (12:13) Yeah. But Marilyn Monroe, you could tell, man, that was Hollywood weirdo stuff. Weirdo stuff, dude. Speaker 4 (12:18) Yeah. Speaker 5 (12:18) Also, by the way, I called because I wanted to find out what was going on for your birthday and you're traveling on your birthday. What's with you avoiding fun on your birthday? Why does it have to be on my birthday? It doesn't, but it's fun when it's on your birthday. Okay, you canceled Hawaii. I'm not, what do you mean? I didn't cancel Hawaii. That's what they said. No, we just haven't booked it yet. Speaker 4 (12:37) Are you going to Hawaii? Speaker 1 (12:39) I'm going to Hawaii. Maybe. Speaker 4 (12:43) No, if you don't, it's going to really upset me. Speaker 4 (12:49) Anything Speaker 5 (12:49) you want. You got it. Okay. Speaker 4 (12:52) Anyway. Yeah. Are you going? You Speaker 5 (12:54) know why I can't go? I mean. Do you know why? Why? Because there's no golf courses out there? Well, there's nothing but golf courses out there. First of all. Second of all, the amount of things I'm seeing on the internet. Tourists go away. Hawaii doesn't want us there. That's true. Speaker 1 (13:08) Read Speaker 5 (13:09) it. It's all over the news. Go away, tourists. They do not want us there. They want us there. No, they don't. I promise you when you go there. Google Hawaii tourists go away and I'm telling you, it's every news article now. They're tired of it. They want us out. They don't want Howleys. I'm a Howley and I got to get out of there. No whites. Get out. Anti-tourist. They're doing it now. It's like a huge protest. They're beating up fucking tourists because they're kicking the shit out of them. They don't want them there. Yeah. And you could pass. You got the position. I do pass. Not me. I'm a Howley, dog. Yeah. Visitor arrivals dropped roughly 829,000, falling almost 5 % recently because of this protest. That's a lot, dude. It's a lot of people. They don't want him around. So what am I going to do? Do I have to put on, I got to do brown face to fit in? Yeah. Speaker 4 (13:52) I'm telling you right now, you have so many fans out there that you're going to be fine. Yeah, you're going to be, you're going. I'm going? Yeah. If you don't go. I'll go. If you don't go, I'll be so upset at you. I'll go. Is he? Is that true? Speaker 1 (14:08) Yes. That you'll be mad? Speaker 4 (14:09) No, no, no. That he's going to go. Speaker 1 (14:11) I don't know. Andrew would never lie to you. Speaker 4 (14:14) Yeah. Look at me right now, dude. Scouts on. Speaker 5 (14:19) Scouts on. Scouts on all. Scouts on all. Scouts on all. I'm going to go. For you, I'll go. Speaker 4 (14:23) Okay. Speaker 5 (14:24) I think we should do a Hawaiian version of Bad Friends. I Speaker 4 (14:27) totally agree. I'm mad that we're not doing anything for your birthday. We'll celebrate before, but. On the 16th, I'll be there. My birthday is September 17th. On the 16th, I'll be there. Why don't we have the dinner then? We can. I have to tour. I have a date in Salem, Oregon or whatever. Speaker 1 (14:42) You Speaker 4 (14:42) don't even know where you're going. I don't know where I'm going, but I have a date somewhere. You don't have cats. No cats. So this is what a cat does. When a cat leaves for the vet, because I don't take all three cats to the vet sometimes. Can't. Too many cats. Yeah. But when that cat comes back, it's as if those two other cats have never met that cat before. Because something happened. No, they smell something. Right? They start hissing at each other. Oh, wow. It's really sad. It's like if you went to Scotland and came back, I'm like... It's like, who are you? Because they saw the other side. No, it's a smell thing. Yeah, they picked up his scent while they were there. Yeah, and another thing is that I have now... Because Kalilah left. She got a new dog. She left for Hawaii. So the dog's at my house now. Her name is Lady. So now I have four dogs and three cats. And sometimes Jules just leaves. She's like, I'm going to a rave. You know what I mean? I go, go. And I have seven animals in the house. It stresses me the fuck out. Too many Speaker 5 (15:46) animals. Feline non-recognition aggression happens when one cat smells completely different and is mistaken for a stranger. So they think the cat is not who it was before. Well, perhaps it's no longer the same cat. What if they switch out cats behind our back? Something could be wrong. No, I know that it's my cat. How do you know? Speaker 4 (16:02) Because I memorized all the little things. They're getting better. They're getting better. They're getting good at duplication. Really? Like, you know, like Goonie has like one little stripe on his nose that I recognize, you know. Be careful. Speaker 5 (16:16) What do you mean? You might be, you might've inherited like a cat