Dave Franco Returns

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Dave Franco returns to Armchair Expert in person, reflecting on his journey as an actor, writer, and director. He discusses growing up as the

Key takeaways

• Vulnerability is essential for authentic connection and creative growth.
• Staying off social media helps maintain mental clarity and personal boundaries.

Main topics

• Personal growth and identity beyond family legacy
• The creative process behind long-term film projects

Notable quotes

"Vulnerability is worth the risk."

Conclusion

Dave Franco leaves the conversation as a grounded, introspective artis

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Badman. Speaker 1 (0:05) Hi. Are Speaker 2 (0:06) you just cleaning up your computer over there? I Speaker 1 (0:08) am. Speaker 2 (0:08) Okay, I hope you get it spick and span. We have a returning guest, but first time in person and the difference was profound. Speaker 1 (0:17) I couldn't believe that because we had him on in COVID and that was revealed when we were talking to him and I had such, I had like, if you had asked me to bet half of my money. Yeah. I would have said we had him in person. Speaker 2 (0:31) That's a testament to his charisma that even through the computer screen, you thought, you know, of course we're talking about Dave Franco. Dave Franco is an actor and a filmmaker and a cutie pie. His credits include Together, Regretting You, Now You See Me, Hoppers. He has a new movie in theaters, August 28th called Idiots and another movie September 25th in theaters called Forgotten Island. Please enjoy the charming Dave Franco. Speaker 1 (0:59) He's an armchair expert. He's an armchair expert. Good Speaker 2 (1:18) to see you. Oh, what a nice cardigan. Speaker 1 (1:22) It is. If I didn't sweat Speaker 2 (1:24) so fucking much, I would join you because I have a dazzling collection of cards. Of Cardi's? Yeah, Cardi B's. Have you tried them in here? You kind of perspirate too much? You'll see at the end of this in this t-shirt, this thin t-shirt with the AC on. I'll be damp as hell in that. Speaker 1 (1:38) Yeah. Look at Speaker 2 (1:40) this cute little space, man. I know you were Zoom. I know. Last time was over Zoom. Did you remember that? Of course. I mean, I remembered that obviously we had you, but. I guess I didn't clock it that it was Zoom. And then I listened to like the first 20 minutes of it. And it was PTSD. July 2020, like three months into. That's wild. Speaker 3 (1:59) I was going to ask when you guys have returning guests, like, do you go back just to make sure that we don't cover the same stuff? A little Speaker 2 (2:05) bit. Don't worry. I did it. I'm like Speaker 3 (2:08) such a nerd that Speaker 2 (2:09) I'm like, I don't want Speaker 3 (2:09) to Speaker 2 (2:10) repeat myself. You're Speaker 1 (2:12) such a good student. Speaker 2 (2:13) Yeah. That's Speaker 1 (2:14) crazy. I would have bet all my money that you were in person. Speaker 2 (2:18) And three years ago. That Speaker 1 (2:19) is wild. Speaker 2 (2:19) Yeah, I know. Yeah, six years ago. But yeah, of course. What? You know what happens is the other thing is when I go back and they're in that period of quarantine where we were doing Zoom, I have all these feelings about it. One is like anything that was recorded in media for a year is almost singularly about that experience. Yeah, right, right. Exactly. Where we're just talking Speaker 3 (2:40) about Speaker 2 (2:40) what we're going through in the moment. And Speaker 3 (2:41) this is like unprecedented times. And it was weird looking back on that because what we were like a few months into the pandemic at that point. But it was long enough to know that like we were past. Remember very early on, we were like, OK, this is going to be two weeks. Speaker 1 (2:56) And then Speaker 3 (2:56) we'll go back to normal. But we were at the point where it was like, we don't know how long this is going to go. And it feels kind of hopeless. We were in like a little bit of Speaker 2 (3:03) a Speaker 3 (3:03) hopeless place. Speaker 2 (3:04) Apex. Oh, wait, this is actually terrible. Yes. is why it was nice talking to you guys. It was a nice like highlight in the middle of that. Okay. I have a quick question because I got to say it made my 2025 and I do wonder if it was reported back to you. Okay. Tell me. So I was on a hike with Jake Johnson and Vincent D'Onofrio and we got up above the observatory and we're just about to take the trail up to the very top. Yeah. And we ran into your lovely wife, Allison. Okay. She stops and she's like, oh, hey, and we're just chatting. And then she goes like. Oh, my God, you look great. And she like touches my shoulder. Yeah. And then she goes, and you guys look great. And Jake goes, oh, bullshit. You just threw us in. You know, like it was a hysterical moment that Jake Johnson called out. Oh, she first said it to you. And Speaker 3 (3:48) then Speaker 2 (3:48) it's like, oh, you guys also pretty Speaker 3 (3:49) good over there, too. She was like actively Speaker 2 (3:51) grabbing my shoulder. Speaker 3 (3:52) Yeah, yeah, Speaker 2 (3:52) yeah. And then she was like, oh, wait, I got to get everyone. Yeah, yeah. But anyways, the rest of that high guy was just kind of tiptoeing up the hill. Speaker 3 (3:59) Can I say, and this is going to sound like I'm just piling on, the hug that I got from you when I came in here, and you're a good hugger, and you gave me that body, man. I want to give you that oxytocin. I want you to Speaker 2 (4:12) feel me, because I've been working a little. Yeah, funny enough, I bring up this question to ask you. You're 41 now? Yeah, later this week. Oh, later Speaker 3 (4:20) this week. Oh, my God, happy birthday. Yeah, yeah, thank you. That's exciting. Speaker 2 (4:23) Okay, so you're about to turn 41. Correct. And you're very svelte, and I was curious, are you genetically? an anomaly. Are you mindful of all this? Speaker 3 (4:31) I think it's part genetics, but I'm definitely mindful. We take care of ourselves. We really look at Kevin Bacon and Kira Sedgwick and we're like, look at them, man. They are keeping it tight. Speaker 1 (4:42) They look Speaker 2 (4:42) good. They've always looked good. And they make it look effortless. Speaker 3 (4:46) Totally. But like Allison, she's been going to this gym rise movement for 15 years now. And it's like some of the best trainers around. And I was like intimidated to go in there for a long time because You got like heavy hitters going in. She is. She is a heavy hitter. Oh my God. Speaker 1 (5:03) It's incredible. I Speaker 3 (5:04) know. Her physique. Yes. Speaker 1 (5:06) Yeah. Speaker 3 (5:06) Maybe subconsciously, that's why I was staying away. I'm like, I can't have my wife show me up in here. Exactly. But I finally started going in and it's nice. It's nice to have a trainer. It makes such a Speaker 2 (5:16) difference. Yeah. Let's go through it. I think for, and I'd love to know the female perspective. I think I have a hunch on it, but it's like. Even when I was young and started going to the gym at Bailey's Total Fitness in Santa Monica, Speaker 1 (5:27) you had the whole ride there. I have all this anxiety that I'm going to get there and everyone's going to be so muscular. And Speaker 2 (5:33) then I'm going to be working out and I'm Speaker 3 (5:34) going Speaker 2 (5:34) to look stupid. I'm probably doing it wrong. It's just the amount of fear I have, which is kind of crazy. Speaker 3 (5:40) It is kind of crazy. They're not shoving the skinny guys around at the gym. Sure. But have you ever been like a really skinny guy? Yeah, when I started. Sure. Okay. I was a beanpole. Speaker 1 (5:50) Like, like really skinny. Oh, my father. I think Speaker 2 (5:55) I'm working out to like 23 or 24. Speaker 3 (5:58) Yes, I know the feeling well, but there was some stat that someone threw at me recently. Who knows if it's true, but it was like when you're working with a trainer, you're working like 60 % harder. Speaker 2 (6:07) I believe that. Speaker 3 (6:08) Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah. And it's like as much as I can do at home, which I was doing it pretty consistently, you kind of plateau. And since I've been going to the gym, I'm like, oh, I feel different. What Speaker 1 (6:17) were you wanting to hear a female opinion on? Speaker 2 (6:19) Yeah, so what's the hurdle when a girl thinks about first going to the gym? Oh, I Speaker 1 (6:24) see. Speaker 2 (6:25) You guys have like an outfit you got to worry about probably for starters. Speaker 1 (6:28) Yeah, what are you going to wear? Is Speaker 3 (6:30) there makeup going on before the gym? Not for me. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. Because Speaker 1 (6:34) that's... not good for the skin. Oh, Speaker 2 (6:36) totally. But Speaker 1 (6:37) some people probably do. Other Speaker 2 (6:38) than SoulCycle, have you ever been to like a weightlifting gym? Speaker 1 (6:42) Like have I, what's it, subscribed? Or just like gone to like an Speaker 2 (6:46) equinox in like. Yes. You have. I Speaker 1 (6:48) have, but I've never joined a gym. Speaker 2 (6:50) Yeah. Okay, good. Speaker 1 (6:51) Because I know you can't quit. You know, I've learned about that from Friends. Oh, interesting. Speaker 2 (6:55) It's like the Sea Org commitment in Scientology. Ah, yeah. It's Speaker 1 (6:59) like a billion Speaker 2 (6:59) year contract. They Speaker 3 (7:00) won't Speaker 2 (7:00) let Speaker 3 (7:00) you. They take you in a separate room. I've Speaker 1 (7:02) seen this and I'm scared. So, no. Oh, oh. But I was a cheerleader in high school. I had to bring that up. Competition cheerleader. And we weight trained three times a week. Speaker 2 (7:12) Okay. In Speaker 1 (7:12) the football weight training. But with your Speaker 2 (7:14) team, right? All your fellow girls. Speaker 1 (7:16) Without other people. Yeah, I do think it's scary to just, you feel like you're in a fishbowl at the gym. People are looking at you. I know. That's why I like this gym, though. There's Speaker 3 (7:24) only ever like three other people working out there at the most. Everyone's kind of in their own world. You see other famous people there. Of course. That's good. Speaker 1 (7:32) Extra motivation, Speaker 3 (7:34) baby. Speaker 1 (7:34) Yeah, that's good. But also you look stupid at the gym. Like if you're doing it right, you're like breathing bad. For sure. But Speaker 3 (7:42) again, when it's so intimate like that at this gym, you don't care. Everyone's in it. We're all looking like idiots. We're all sweating our asses off. It's fine. Would Speaker 2 (7:50) it feel unethical for you to tell me the biggest celebrity you've seen there working out? Speaker 3 (7:54) Gosh, Speaker 2 (7:56) I only say Speaker 3 (7:57) this because. Oh, gosh. I'll match you. Why don't you do Speaker 1 (8:01) charades and we'll guess it. Speaker 3 (8:02) Okay. You know, I say this because I think it's known that his trainer is the guy who owns the gym. Oh, great. Is Jake Gyllenhaal. Oh, we love Jake. I mean, beast. Speaker 2 (8:15) Jakey G. Oh, Jakey G. Everything. The lats. He's Speaker 3 (8:19) got Speaker 2 (8:19) it all, man. Speaker 3 (8:20) Did you see Roadhouse? Of course. Speaker 2 (8:23) Girl. That vibe, man. You wouldn't quit. I know. Tell me yours. Put it on me, Jake. One up me, baby. Well, this one's special because A, it was in the wild. Oh, oh. And I would agree. It's like a top five body of all time in cinema. Go on. Daniel Craig at a hotel in London. Tell me about that in person. Well, sadly, I didn't get to watch him in action. He was exiting with a good sweat and a sheen on. But he was, it was post-gym where he was. Puffed up, man. Yeah. Speaker 1 (8:54) He Speaker 2 (8:54) had the pump on. What was crazy is our friend Molly was there and she had observed him through the whole workout. And I was like, Molly, could you just not take your eyes off Speaker 3 (9:03) of him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, Speaker 2 (9:04) I was so afraid to look at him. Speaker 3 (9:05) Oh, that's interesting. Of Speaker 1 (9:07) course. Yeah, yeah, Speaker 3 (9:08) yeah. You know what? We respect Molly for not looking though. Yeah, we do. We don't quite understand the not looking, but we respect it. I respect Speaker 1 (9:15) it. I respect it. You can't just be gawking at someone, again, bad breathing. People are doing weird breathing. Speaker 3 (9:23) He's in a place, though, where it's like he's in his element when he's in that gym. And typically when you're doing something that you love, that you know you're good at, you don't mind people gawking a little. He's like a Speaker 2 (9:31) stand-up doing his routine. There we go. I like that. He's throwing the fucking big pass or Speaker 3 (9:37) whatever. Let me circle back real quick to why we started talking about all this. My wife giving Speaker 2 (9:42) you a compliment. Doesn't it feel Speaker 3 (9:44) good coming from Allison? Speaker 2 (9:46) You can't imagine. I mean, you can because you're married to her. Speaker 3 (9:49) Every day. Does she let it rain on you? There's times where she like really lets it flood, man. And I'm just like waking up every day and she's like, you look good. And I'm like, really? Tell me more. Go on. But like, she's just this ray of light that it's like when she shines it on you. Speaker 2 (10:05) There's no feeling like it. Tell me more. Speaker 1 (10:07) Because virtually the Speaker 2 (10:08) only line of reasoning that I won't interrupt. Speaker 2 (10:14) I have all day for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Speaker 1 (10:20) that's a good trick if you want to get you to stop talking. Speaker 2 (10:23) That is an easy steamroll. I'll say this about Kristen. Kristen has found the magic ratio of withholding approval from me and giving me approval. Oh, interesting. Because I don't do well if I think someone likes me too much or I have a, quote, fan. I don't want a fan. Oh, Speaker 3 (10:42) I Speaker 2 (10:42) getcha. Does it ever get to the point with her, though, where it feels like she's going too far? No, this is what I'm saying is I tip my hat to her for 19 years. Somehow she's kept me at like 1 % below what I want. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm wondering. Something to work up to still. How do you do with too much affection now and then? Like, here's what it is. I want to win her over every day. Oh, I get it. Where are you at? That's interesting. Speaker 3 (11:07) I don't know if I put a limit on it. Just shower me, baby. Just let Speaker 2 (11:11) me have it. That's honest. That said, Speaker 3 (11:14) like, what it is, what she is. like feeling super cuddly or affectionate, I think my natural inclination is to be like, stop. Speaker 1 (11:22) Well, I actually Speaker 2 (11:24) bring it up because there's this hilarious moment. And I had already heard the story the first time you were on about the wonderful night in New Orleans where you guys had your 72 hours of bliss. But a new detail I heard in my research this go around was that after that first night of fun, when you woke up in the morning. She was gently kissing your shoulder. Oh, yeah, man. See, now that's the kind of thing that might make me panic. It's interesting because Speaker 3 (11:51) with the wrong person, that's panic material. Yeah. I mean, so basically we had this crazy first night together, literally on drugs, just going nuts. And I think we said it before. We slept together the first night and then we wake up Speaker 2 (12:04) and she wakes me up with these gentle little back kisses. Speaker 1 (12:10) Wow. Yeah. That could go either way. Speaker 2 (12:13) Totally. Good for her. Good Speaker 3 (12:15) for her for going for it. She must have known. Yeah. But what she reminded me of recently, she told me, maybe it was that next morning, she was like, hey. I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm here to basically like, let's fuck around until you find the girl that you're going to marry. And I was like, whoa, did you mean that? Or was that a ploy? Monica, how are you in terms of withholding, giving affection? I'm pretty withholding. Okay. I Speaker 1 (12:40) think. Speaker 3 (12:40) Why is that? I Speaker 1 (12:41) think I can be. quite affectionate, but Speaker 3 (12:44) I Speaker 1 (12:44) also didn't grow up with a lot of like physical affection or even I would say verbal affection. Speaker 3 (12:50) So Speaker 1 (12:50) it's not like all that natural to me. So it really requires a full body butterfly. Like I can't not. I Speaker 3 (12:58) get that. Do you feel a little even uncomfortable or vulnerable when you're fully going for it with someone, even with friends? Will you allow yourself to be like very effusive with friends? Speaker 1 (13:09) Barry, that's a good question. Can I answer for you? I think Speaker 2 (13:14) she's a lot better at doing it behind their back. Oh, Speaker 3 (13:17) that's interesting. Speaker 2 (13:18) Yeah. So it's not that she doesn't have it. I just think you're more prone to like tell all of us how spectacular Jess is before you would ever tell Jess how spectacular. Yeah, Speaker 1 (13:27) that's right. And Speaker 2 (13:28) then so there's something interesting there. I know, I know. Speaker 1 (13:31) I don't want anyone's. Like, I had to get too big. I mean, I will if somebody's down. Oh, oh, oh. If somebody's down, I do think I'm like, what do you mean? You're so great. But if they're high. Speaker 3 (13:45) If someone's doing great, they're flying, like, I don't need to boost them even further. But Speaker 1 (13:49) Monica, can Speaker 2 (13:50) I ask this really tasty question? Yes, Speaker 1 (13:52) of Speaker 2 (13:52) course. Do you think it's if that you lay it on that much and they realize how great they are, they won't want to be around you? Speaker 1 (13:58) Hmm. I Speaker 3 (14:00) feel like people are the opposite. I feel like if you're telling someone how great they are, they're like, oh, I want that person around me all the time, right? Speaker 2 (14:06) Well, we know that to be true. But I think a lot of people think they're friends with somebody that's out of their league Speaker 1 (14:12) or they're dating someone out of their league. And that's Speaker 2 (14:15) why dudes who are insecure want to control their ladies. That's why they're nagging them. Like they think, oh, if I lower their self-esteem, they'll feel like. I'm worthy of them. These Speaker 3 (14:24) sound like unhealthy relationships. Oh, Speaker 2 (14:26) yeah. Speaker 3 (14:26) Yeah. I'm thinking of the people in my life who are like my close circle. I want to tell them every second how great they are. I want to build them up. Speaker 1 (14:35) I don't think that's how I love. Speaker 3 (14:37) That's okay. I Speaker 1 (14:38) think most people, maybe I'm wrong, we'd have to do a poll, but I think most people who I do love, who I'm very close to, feel loved by me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think that they're like... Through Speaker 2 (14:48) your actions. A lot. Speaker 1 (14:49) It's through my actions. I also do a lot of checking in. I am very much like, haven't talked in a while. Let's check in. Instead of just like, I love you. You're so great. So it's different approaches. But I'm going to be thinking about this. This Speaker 3 (15:03) makes me think, how are you guys in terms of, because I was just talking to a friend about this the other day. Are you guys generous laughers? Speaker 2 (15:10) Yes. Well, I know I am. And I don't know what it was like before the groundlings, but I certainly know. Because I was at the Groundlings and on Wednesday nights, everyone all week long has written five or six sketches. So you watch a hundred sketches from like 6 p.m. to one in the morning. Well. And Speaker 1 (15:24) as a team, as people who love each other, like you Speaker 2 (15:27) show up for those sketches. And if your sketch goes up at 10 o'clock at night, everyone knows like, let's fucking go, you know? Yeah. So I think I did have years of really learning to be that way. Yeah. But I'll be at table reads and stuff. And I'm like, guys, what the, why aren't you giving it up? Maybe they think it's rude. I don't know. How about you? Speaker 3 (15:44) I think I am. I think I am. And it's nice. It's nice to be around those people who are always laughing. Speaker 1 (15:48) It is. If you really break it down, there might be a tiny bit of insincerity, maybe. But Speaker 3 (15:54) like, for the most part, they just want to have a good time. They're just trying to encourage you. Of all the Speaker 2 (15:59) things you could get caught doing, trying to make someone feel good by adding Speaker 3 (16:02) 10 % to the laugh. I'll live with getting Speaker 2 (16:04) busted Speaker 3 (16:05) for that. That is Speaker 1 (16:06) very true. Speaker 3 (16:07) I was talking to my buddy and he was like, I don't know if I'm a generous laugher. And I think that is something that I actually can. change about myself and that I do want to change going forward because he's a funny guy himself. And maybe that's why he's not a generous laugher because he's like, I want you to earn it from me. I'm around really funny people. If I'm going to laugh, I want to really laugh. He's ahead of it sometimes. Maybe he's Speaker 1 (16:27) not Speaker 2 (16:27) coming. Yeah. Well, also, now this is tricky because I have kids as well. And I did feel this crazy obligation. I'm like, I also need to teach them what funny is. So I'm not laughing at their shitty jokes. Okay. They'll know when it's real. Yes. When they get me. Okay. This is a dangerous one. I'm going to say it anyways, because I'll stand by the fact that it is not racist. Oh Speaker 3 (16:49) boy. Good way into any story. Absolutely. Speaker 2 (16:52) So we ordered Katsuya, our favorite sushi place on Friday night. And everyone's kind of waiting. You know, everyone's impatiently waiting for the food. Someone was like, where's the food? I look it up and I go, okay, the Japanese food will be here in 13 minutes. And my kids are on high alert for anything racist or homophobic, right? Because they're little kids in LA. And they go, dad! As soon as I say Japanese food, and I go, guys, it is Japanese food. There's nothing racist going on. You're allowed to say Japanese. Right. So it was basically three to one. But then five minutes later, the little one's watching TV and she goes. Speaker 1 (17:30) Dad, when's that Japanese food getting here? Speaker 2 (17:33) Yeah, Speaker 1 (17:34) that's Speaker 3 (17:34) a Speaker 1 (17:34) great callback. I was just level. Speaker 2 (17:37) Yes, yes. Because it was so unexpected because I was already in trouble and then she flipped it. That's good, that's good. But Speaker 3 (17:42) like when you don't laugh at one of their jokes, it doesn't deter them. They're not like, oh, I'm gonna, oh, I feel like, oh, I can't maybe put myself out there again. Yeah, I don't shame them. I just smile. It's not like good at that. Speaker 2 (17:53) Not. Funny. Try Speaker 1 (17:54) again. I'm Speaker 2 (17:55) not passing on like accounting skills to them or manufacturing. Right. I know one thing. You got something Speaker 3 (18:02) that you really can't pass on Speaker 1 (18:04) though. Speaker 2 (18:04) That's all I got Speaker 1 (18:04) to pass on. Well, both of their parents are funny. Exactly. Some Speaker 3 (18:07) automotive knowledge. You know who the friend I was talking about who's trying to be more of a generous laugher is Hunter Cope, who you did his show, The Perfect Parfait. Oh my God. And Hunter loves you and he really appreciates you coming on the show. That was Speaker 1 (18:20) so fun. Is he Speaker 3 (18:21) single? Hunter is not. He's not. Is he open to a divorce? If I paid for the legal fees? He's pretty Speaker 2 (18:27) newly married. Speaker 3 (18:29) We can discuss. We Speaker 2 (18:31) can check Speaker 3 (18:32) in. Speaker 1 (18:32) We need to let that, you know, linger for a little bit. But Speaker 3 (18:35) Hunter, he's got this interview show that has some DNA from Between Two Ferns. Yeah. And Monica went on and he truly said you were the greatest. And I watched your episode and you were just such like a team player. You were just game for everything. That's so Speaker 1 (18:46) nice. Well, you know, part of the reason I went on is I was like, what's this? Like it came through my agency. And then I was like, oh, Dave did it. I'll do it. Is Speaker 3 (18:54) that why? Really? Oh, cool. Oh, good. I was like, Speaker 1 (18:56) oh, he's signing off on this. And then it was so fun. Good, good. Yeah, yeah. Speaker 3 (19:00) It's nice when you see your friends do something that is just so... purely them. It's just like unfiltered Hunter this show. And what that means is on this show, he's asking me about analingus. Yes, of course. Which Skarsgård brother I'd rather fuck. But like that's Hunter. Great. You do you, man. Speaker 2 (19:20) Sounds Speaker 1 (19:20) like this show, really. Oh, I was going to say that when we were talking earlier about intimacy, sort of. I think holding hands is more intimate than anal. Speaker 3 (19:30) Is that a true statement? I mean, Speaker 2 (19:32) I've debated her at times on this, but I never thought to just say it. I get the hyperbole. It's Speaker 3 (19:40) a Speaker 2 (19:40) bit of a Speaker 1 (19:41) hyperbole, but I do think it's the most intimate thing you can do is holding, definitely than kissing. But Speaker 2 (19:47) Monica, I have to throw a hypothetical at you. You just got an Uber ride home from the airport, fill in the blanks of who the dude is in LA. And at the end, you're about to get out and an angel comes out and goes, to save the world, you either have to hold his hand or have him butt fuck you. What are we picking? How long Speaker 3 (20:04) are we holding the hand for? Speaker 2 (20:06) As long as the butt bugging would take, I presume. Are Speaker 3 (20:09) we going Speaker 2 (20:09) fingers interlocked? Lots of caressing while holding hands. Okay, okay. Maybe even coming up under the wrist a little bit. Oh, that's, oh, wow. Full intimacy. Okay, how sweaty is the head? Speaker 1 (20:18) Ew, chill, Speaker 2 (20:19) sweaty head. Well, he's been driving, smoking cigarettes for so long, parking lot. Oh, he's a dirtbag, this Speaker 1 (20:24) guy. Speaker 2 (20:24) Yeah, Speaker 1 (20:26) if it was a stranger, I'd handhold. It's not when it's a stranger, it's if you're on a date. Like, I went on a date with someone, and... He started holding my hand and I was like, oh no. Get me out of this situation. My ass is Speaker 3 (20:40) yours to do with as you wish. Just picking this apart. Handholding is very intimate. Like we're in a relationship. This is a more serious thing. A butt fuck. It just feels a little more raw. A little more like. Requires Speaker 2 (20:54) more trust. Well, no. Speaker 3 (20:56) The butt Speaker 2 (20:57) fuck. Speaker 3 (20:58) Yes, of course. Trust me, I'm trying to get on board with her theory here. Speaker 2 (21:03) I don't agree with it, but I'm trying to see your side of things. Speaker 1 (21:07) It's because that's okay. More trust in that because they. could do something bad to me. You need them to really, you need Speaker 2 (21:15) them to be proceeding at a velocity and tempo. They have to be very dialed into what you're up to. It Speaker 3 (21:22) feels like you're kind of remembering one instance where someone maybe held your hand and you didn't like it. Yeah. And I Speaker 1 (21:28) really didn't like it. But it was just the wrong Speaker 3 (21:30) guy at the wrong time. I Speaker 1 (21:31) know, but even like sometimes. Jess, my best friend, sometimes will grab my hand. He's my best friend. I love him. But I'm like, oh, it does something weird to me holding hands. Can I hold Speaker 3 (21:41) your hand by the end of this interview? And then, Dax, I want you to feel me up by the end of Speaker 1 (21:45) this interview. Speaker 3 (21:45) I Speaker 1 (21:45) hope Speaker 3 (21:45) he's butt-fucking Speaker 2 (21:46) you. Speaker 1 (21:47) Butt Speaker 3 (21:47) -fuck me and then just do whatever you want otherwise. Speaker 2 (21:52) And Monica, to make this a full circle, you'll be making me a salad. Speaker 1 (21:55) Oh, great. Yeah, that's your offer. How fun. Okay, but Speaker 2 (21:57) I want to circle back to, so when she said the part about inflating someone and I made the interview. Speaker 3 (22:02) I'm just Speaker 2 (22:02) getting a little sweaty thinking about holding your hand. Continue, Speaker 3 (22:04) continue. Yeah, I would be Speaker 2 (22:06) a Speaker 3 (22:06) drench right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Speaker 2 (22:07) you know how high the stakes are. Sure, yeah. You'd either be a life partner or not based Speaker 1 (22:11) on this. Speaker 2 (22:11) I know, and I just want to change your whole mindset on this. Continue. Speaker 1 (22:13) Oh, Speaker 2 (22:13) that's really nice. But the thing I was touching on with her giving a lot of compliments and me asking if her fear would be that they might leave her, it was a pattern that she had told me about before, which so many people have, which is like you're into somebody, you think they're out of your league, and then lo and behold, they start liking you. And then what the brain does, because it's corrupt, is it says not, oh, yay, I got the thing. It goes, oh, you're not as good as I thought you were because you like me. Oh, Speaker 1 (22:39) yeah, Speaker 2 (22:39) yeah. Speaker 1 (22:39) And Speaker 2 (22:40) now I'm not into you because I wouldn't be into someone that likes me. So you can wrap your head around that frame of mind, right? Oh, 100%. But that isn't you, right? Because the approval thing doesn't appeal to you or wanting to win it. Gosh, I guess Speaker 3 (22:52) I can only just talk about my own experience, like when I first met Allison. And I know this is a rare thing, and I personally don't always feel this, but when we met each other, for whatever reason, both of us just allowed ourselves to be vulnerable and just be like, hey. I'm in. Let's not play any games. This might not work. One of us might get hurt. We both might get hurt. But for whatever reason, there's an energy here that I feel safe to just go all in on. No protection. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Didn't even use a condom the first time. I Speaker 2 (23:21) know. Speaker 3 (23:21) I was Speaker 1 (23:21) waiting. Speaker 3 (23:21) We did. We did. That was the only protection. Speaker 1 (23:25) That was the only responsible Speaker 3 (23:26) thing you did that Speaker 2 (23:27) night. Because what I love about you as a kid, I find this so endearing. You just were so in love with being in love, right? You were sensitive and you were listening. to music. When you got a girlfriend, you were writing her poems at a very young age. And then you had another girlfriend on Valentine's Day. You went to every single classroom and to put a rose in the classroom, she would get it. And then you've later admitted it was way too early to do that. I was a Speaker 3 (23:48) sensitive, romantic boy. Yeah. Yeah. It is interesting because I guess thinking about even like my dating history before, obviously I met Allison, I had always been the person who. I didn't have many one-night stands. I would kind of meet someone through a friend and whether it became like a real thing or just for a few months, it was never a quick thing really. It was always like, ooh, I don't know how to do just a quick thing with someone that I have no connection with, which also became tricky because when Speaker 2 (24:19) you kind of have Speaker 3 (24:19) a connection enough to hang out for a few months, then feelings do get involved. It was a little tricky navigating that, but I guess this is a long way of saying I don't know how to just kind of be. that guy who's like, oh, I'm not going to be nice to you. I'm going to just come in. We're going to fuck and that's it. Speaker 2 (24:33) So I know at least minimally a couple of times you got broken up with. Definitely my heart broken for sure. Yes. So these girls that broke up with you. Yeah. I mean, you're so fucking cute. It gives me butterflies to look at you. I'm not even kidding you. Like the way you smile and close your eyes and I see your wisdom teeth. It's so cute. No one's ever talked about Cesar's wisdom teeth. I've been waiting my Speaker 3 (24:57) whole life. It's taken Speaker 1 (24:58) 41 years, baby. Move over, Allison. Speaker 2 (25:02) But you're so cute and you're really, really smart and you have got a great personality. So I guess my question is, why were these girls leaving you? And do you think it's because you were too available that you didn't withhold enough? You know what's interesting? When I'm thinking about Speaker 3 (25:15) this one person, it might have been that. I was all in where I was like. This is the person I'm going to marry. Without going too much into it, again, I didn't hold back. She knew exactly how I felt. I was going above and beyond to let her know. And even when I could feel a change, I knew things were changing in how she felt about me. I wouldn't allow myself to accept it. I was like, okay, she's not treating me great, but that's okay. This is the woman I'm going to marry. This is a phase. So my wife Speaker 2 (25:48) doesn't like me. Speaker 1 (25:49) Okay. Speaker 3 (25:50) Exactly. Speaker 1 (25:50) I've heard that's normal. Speaker 3 (25:52) But it would be, not that I would ever ask her this, but like, it would be interesting to be like, hey, was he too available? Was he piling it Speaker 2 (26:00) on too hard? Yeah. And you know, what's interesting is like, that is the right thing to do. I would not want to suggest people shouldn't do that. But I will say for a lot of people, I think that's the line you're trying to toe. And Speaker 1 (26:12) sadly, Speaker 2 (26:12) because I think a lot of us are very insecure and a lot of us are operating like Monica did and how I did. I was constantly figuring out what girl I couldn't get and then spending my entire waking life trying to get them. And then if I got them, just as mass confusion would follow. A, I Speaker 3 (26:29) didn't like myself more, Speaker 2 (26:30) which I thought was supposed to happen. Like, why don't I now think I'm worthy of them? And Speaker 3 (26:34) then it just gets all murky. What I'll say about just this girl I was just talking about, I wouldn't have done anything differently. It's not like knowing what I know now, I'd go back and be like, ooh, maybe I should be a little more coy and not give her everything. Because ultimately, she wasn't the girl for me. Speaker 2 (26:48) And what I'll argue is she might have been insecure, whereas Allison is very secure. to me, definitely seems like Belle or just like some preternatural fucking confidence. For sure. That Speaker 3 (26:59) was part of the reason I was drawn to Allison. It was like, she knows who she is. She's very confident. She's so independent. She doesn't need me, but maybe I can bring a little extra boost to her life. So Speaker 2 (27:09) if you, a cute dude like you is super into her, she's not thinking something's wrong with the cute dude who's super into me because I'm Speaker 3 (27:15) not Speaker 2 (27:15) worthy of that. Speaker 3 (27:16) Yes. Speaker 2 (27:16) Yes. So I guess that is, if you can assess appropriately, your partner is a little insecure, then I do think it's at least. tactically advisable to monitor that. And then like we slowly lift the self-esteem over time. I Speaker 1 (27:30) don't know. I agree with. Dave, I feel like all it means is it's not the right match. You are you. So if you are trying to not be you to sort of do this thing for this other person, it's like it's just not going to work. It might last for Speaker 3 (27:43) a while, but you're not going to maybe be happy. Exactly. Ultimately, Speaker 1 (27:47) you're just not the right fit. With Speaker 3 (27:48) Allison, as open as we are with each other and as much as like we don't hold back on affection, when she's watching a project of mine, I know if she really likes it. That's something she can't hide no matter what. And when I get her to laugh, there's... Literally no better feeling in the world. I remember the first time she was watching the studio and I've never seen her laugh at me like that. And it just like, it gives me Speaker 1 (28:12) goosebumps Speaker 3 (28:13) even saying it right now. Speaker 2 (28:14) And I was like, ooh, I got her. There's nothing better. Oh, Speaker 1 (28:18) that's so lovely. Speaker 2 (28:19) Okay, I had one curiosity. You are not on social media and people are astounded by that. And I've heard you answer questions about that already. I'm hoping to bring a novel question to the table on this topic, which is.