Sam Morril's Guide to NYC!

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

In this episode of Are You Garbage?, hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley sit down with comedian Sam Morril to discuss his career, touring life, an

Key takeaways

• Sam Morril is promoting his new Netflix special titled 'Incorrect'.
• The group discusses the potential 10% risk of AI causing human extinction.

Main topics

• AI extinction risks
• Comedy touring and new specials

Notable quotes

I only feel good if I leave with a new bit.

Conclusion

A comedic exploration of the intersection between professional comedy

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:00) Stop the presses, gang. The American Garbage Special is out on YouTube right now. Numbers are cooking. We thank everybody for their support. Keep sharing it. Keep telling everybody about it. We Speaker 2 (0:10) love you. Yeah, and if you like what you saw, we are on tour right now. We're going to be in Appleton, Wisconsin, San Jose, San Diego, Tacoma, Atlanta. Philly. Hello. Springfield, Fort Wayne, Connecticut, Phoenix, Arizona, Timonium, Maryland, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cincinnati, Columbus. All tickets available at RUGarbage.com. If you've got a garbage question, come out and see the boys. Speaker 3 (0:30) Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Speaker 2 (0:45) Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Speaker 3 (0:50) Hey! Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. It's Speaker 1 (0:57) that Speaker 3 (0:57) little show where you sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's a good way to be classy. Yeah. To just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition. She's in the garage doing some chin-ups. Okay. Not the pull-ups like last time, but the chin-ups. She's really Speaker 2 (1:15) getting it in there. Okay. Okay, Kevin. I got you repurposed. Got me on that one. My co-host coming in from right next Speaker 3 (1:22) to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He's an international businessman, and thank God, my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody. Hey, buddy. What's up, pal? How are you? You really know how to lay it all Speaker 2 (1:35) thick there, Hank. Guys, first of all, thanks for tuning in. As always, make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. Now, boys are climbing the freaking charts. Top 20. Five? Maybe something like that? We're Speaker 1 (1:48) in there somewhere. Speaker 2 (1:48) We're in there. We're Speaker 1 (1:48) in a Speaker 3 (1:49) mix. Yeah. Speaker 2 (1:49) You know, then obviously the greatest website of all time. We're top ten on that. www.patreon.com. You go over there, you get all that Speaker 3 (1:56) bonus content, gang. Yes, sir. And gang, we couldn't be more excited of our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest. Back with us again today. Oh, Speaker 2 (2:03) gee. He's basically family at this Speaker 3 (2:05) point. Yeah. You know what I mean? We do his pods. He does our pods. We hang out. We talk. We talk comedy. He's one of the best. One of the best stand-up comedians working today. You can hear him every week on his amazing podcast, We Might Be Drunk. He has a brand new Netflix special out this Tuesday entitled Incorrect. Truly one of the best joke writers out there. Give it up for Sam Morrell, everybody. Speaker 1 (2:24) How about that, Sammy? Holy shit. And you nailed every point of that with him. That was heavy out of the gate. It was beautiful. Coming Speaker 2 (2:32) in, baby. That's about it. He then Speaker 1 (2:35) throws it in cruise control for a little while. Speaker 2 (2:38) We just replace him with AI for the rest of the show. It's just me and you. Are you worried about Speaker 1 (2:42) AI? No. What? Not at all? Well, first of all, he's got bigger problems. He's got fucking this afternoon problems. Unless he's going to Speaker 3 (2:50) start doing coke and getting escorts, I have no trouble with the gentleman at all. Speaker 1 (2:53) You're worried about HF. No, AI, man. I'm fucking, I'm getting there. What do you mean? They're wiping us out? That's what they're saying. Well, yeah, Speaker 3 (3:00) it's going to wipe us out. Well, they Speaker 1 (3:01) said 10 % Speaker 3 (3:02) chance of wipeout. One guy said that. Speaker 1 (3:05) A few people said 10%. I heard Speaker 3 (3:06) he was junior man on the account. Speaker 1 (3:09) And then we're going to cut. Let's cut to an ad break here. Anthropic. This is brought to you by Claude. By Speaker 2 (3:13) Flock Camera. No, Speaker 1 (3:15) 10 % is fucking high, though, dude. And it's like, you know, like if you told me I had a 10 % chance of banging Sidney Sweeney, I'd be like, all right. That's pretty good, dude. I'd bet the house on that there. So if you tell me 10 % chance of extinction, I don't love it. Yeah, that's a good point. Speaker 3 (3:28) How does it make us extinct? Speaker 1 (3:30) Huh? Speaker 3 (3:31) They Speaker 1 (3:31) band together. Speaker 3 (3:32) I Speaker 1 (3:32) think they... Speaker 3 (3:32) Call through Speaker 1 (3:32) the servers and get Speaker 2 (3:33) it. Speaker 1 (3:33) Nukes, probably. Set the nukes off? Did you see that Speaker 2 (3:36) one? They were interviewing it. It was like a woman, and then midway through, speaking English, and midway through, it switched to Chinese. Wait, it's an AI? Yeah, it was like a robot or whatever doing it. I've had that happen with my friends who were drunk. Yeah, midway through, it started speaking Chinese. That could also be AI. I don't know. Or it Speaker 3 (3:55) could be a glitch. Yeah, but I don't want to switch Speaker 2 (3:58) into Speaker 3 (3:58) Mandarin. That Speaker 2 (3:59) ain't good for the boys in the fucking 48. What they all Speaker 1 (4:04) say is right now AI needs us, but it's going to be a point where it's like super intelligence and we're in trouble. Speaker 3 (4:10) But it's still just a little computer grid. How's it going to get out? No one's asking you to Speaker 2 (4:14) defend it. Speaker 3 (4:16) He Speaker 2 (4:17) always does that. The Speaker 3 (4:19) helicopter lands. Mr. Foley, we're from the Pentagon. We need you right away. I'll Speaker 2 (4:23) be right there. We need you to fuck this thing up. Hey, go talk to AI and have it kill itself after an hour. I got chopped on the way. Is that okay? Can I bring my Speaker 3 (4:31) buddy Ryan D? We had a good run. But Speaker 2 (4:34) I heard, too, a lot of this, and this could all be spin. We're going to be in the spin zone right now. This is as Speaker 3 (4:39) political as we get, by Speaker 2 (4:40) the way. I'm already out of my element. I heard it's all to drum up. buzz so they can Speaker 1 (4:47) pass good strict legislation. That'd be great. And then Obama or Speaker 2 (4:52) somebody came out and said that. Again, I'm making this up. Obama! I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. That's what he did. He made something nice on X. Goddamn Mandami. I do blame Mandami for most of this. Speaker 3 (5:03) The Reds do goddamn right. Speaker 2 (5:06) Yeah, Speaker 3 (5:07) that's the last thing I gotta worry about. But I see what you're saying. But I always say if... If we're all going to go, we'll all go together. And maybe we become Speaker 1 (5:18) cool with China over this shit. Right? We all have to worry about, you Speaker 3 (5:22) know. What, us fighting an AI war? Us and China fighting an AI war against AI together? Maybe this Speaker 1 (5:27) is Speaker 3 (5:27) like Speaker 1 (5:27) Avengers Endgame, and it's like when Loki had to work with everyone else. But who Speaker 3 (5:30) would we be shooting at if we went to war with AI? Speaker 2 (5:33) These things got to go. What are you talking about? Get that IBM edit. Would they make their own Speaker 3 (5:38) robots to hunt us down like Skynet? I don't know. I don't think so. Speaker 1 (5:42) You're asking Speaker 2 (5:42) him like he's actually got the answer. No, I heard a couple of times. He was just a Copenhagen. Speaker 1 (5:46) Yeah, I loved it, dude. Copenhagen. Speaker 3 (5:50) Stockholm. Speaker 1 (5:50) Copenhagen, oh, Stockholm. Copenhagen's beautiful. I did a bunch of bits there, dude. I did a joke about... making fun of pedophiles and it got like zero and I come off stage I see the promoter I was like what the hell was that and he goes the age of consent here is 15 so and I was like that's fucking insane he goes yeah and they're trying to make it younger like who's they who are these people one guy one guy billy over here Speaker 3 (6:13) what are these meetings yeah someone's Speaker 1 (6:15) showing up like we can't wait till ninth grade dude this is crazy shit no Copenhagen beautiful place though And lax. And lax as hell, yeah. Hey, what happens in Copenhagen stays in Copenhagen. Two tickets to Copenhagen, please. That's the day you're leaving. You're like, Speaker 3 (6:28) what the fuck? You're telling me this now? I can't change my flight. Speaker 1 (6:32) Yeah, no. Great city. Stockholm, great city. Man, I was all over Europe. It was awesome, man. Does his thing. Very Speaker 2 (6:37) good. New spec? Speaker 1 (6:38) New spec. Netflix, incorrect? I'm working on it. Yeah, working on the new, man. You know the grind. Speaker 2 (6:43) You're one of those guys that you'll bump into at the cellar and you're like, you're in like... Seinfeld always kind of says it. You're in like a, you're going to work with your fucking tool bot. Like you're like, you're not just like, what's up, having it. You're like, I'm sure at the end and after everything, but you're like, you can, you see you're in a real set mode. You gotta, you gotta Speaker 1 (7:04) build the new act. You gotta have something to take on the road. You know, I only feel good if I leave with a new bit. So I need some, and it's like, it's like laying bricks, man. Just like one at a time. You finally, you got your thing, but I love it. I love it. I still, I still get. really excited when a new joke works. Speaker 2 (7:20) That's the drug that keeps you coming back, baby. That's the only drug, Foley. No more drugs. I'm with you, Sammy. I'm from Stockenhagen. Speaker 3 (7:31) What's their goat policy there? Speaker 2 (7:34) Speaking of tour, what's on the rider? What's on the current rider? Speaker 1 (7:38) I don't have a good rider because Gary Veeder opens for me and he really helps with the rider. Because he's the one who's got the palate where he's Speaker 2 (7:46) like, Speaker 1 (7:46) we have to hit this place, we have to go to this restaurant. So it's a lot of stuff I don't like, actually. It's just stuff Gary's taking home. I need Speaker 2 (7:54) pampers for the kids, some baby wipes, Q-tips, three pacifiers. Speaker 1 (7:59) It's like mixed nuts and dried mangoes, which I don't like because... Because you get on stage, it's like in your teeth. Yeah. So I don't like it. You're talking about Speaker 3 (8:08) the mango in the mixed dried? No, no, the separate. Like the packs, like the vacuum Speaker 1 (8:12) sealed. Speaker 3 (8:12) I do Speaker 1 (8:12) like those a lot. They make you gassy, though. What? Dried mangoes. Yeah, I know exactly Speaker 3 (8:17) what you're talking about. They're from Trader Joe's has them. I love the chili Speaker 1 (8:20) ones, dude. The chili ones. They're all right. Yeah, so those are in there. It's got my whiskey in there. I got my own whiskey in there. I got vermouth. I got... the cherries and some bitters to make a Manhattan after the show. Very nice. Do you always do it or will you pass on some? This weekend I didn't really do it, but if I'm doing like a long tour, yeah, first few days you're good and then you're just like, you're like, all right, let's start drinking. Speaker 2 (8:42) You Speaker 1 (8:42) know, it goes from like one to two and then by the end you're like, I'm fucking, I'm hammered. Shout out to a Manhattan. It builds. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, I remember you told me your fam that was your thing. That's Speaker 2 (8:53) it. Speaker 1 (8:53) We have two sayings. They call Speaker 2 (8:54) them loud mouth soup and... Speaker 2 (8:59) Punching your cousin. Punching your cousin. Two's not enough and three's too many, and there's never been such a specific. Oh, yeah. What's Speaker 1 (9:06) it Speaker 2 (9:06) say about Speaker 1 (9:06) martinis? They're like tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One's not enough. Three's too many. You want two. But I love Manhattan, so there's that in there, and then it's just like seltzers and shit. It's pretty boring. Okay. Nothing too crazy. Oh, I think Vitor threw a fruit plate in there, so there's some fruit. Ooh, guys getting after Speaker 3 (9:22) it on the road. Speaker 1 (9:23) Yeah. It's boring. Speaker 3 (9:24) The fall's coming up. Anything fall-y that you like, like that you're into? The Speaker 1 (9:29) fall. I mean, yeah, New York in the fall is fucking incredible. I'm not Speaker 3 (9:32) talking about strolling through Speaker 1 (9:33) our writer's row. I'm talking about eating the caramel dip with a spoon out of the... Ooh, like things to do when you're in the fall? Speaker 3 (9:41) No, like Speaker 1 (9:42) trashy fall flavors. Ooh, I mean pumpkins. Are you a Speaker 2 (9:46) pumpkin Speaker 1 (9:46) spice Speaker 2 (9:47) guy? Speaker 1 (9:47) No. A coffee shop? God, no. I love a pumpkin spice guy. That's a different guess. Speaker 2 (9:51) That's a, what? No, I don't touch it. Whoa, whoa. Since you were 16, I don't know that. I experimented in college a couple times. Speaker 1 (9:57) No, I don't like sweet coffee drinks. I think sweetening your coffee is weird. Are you? I think a coffee drinker who's sweet, like milk is fine, but once you're putting sugar in there, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? This Speaker 2 (10:09) is Speaker 1 (10:09) great. I like this. Damn. I think black or a little bit of milk in coffee. Sweeten it. You don't like coffee. Get a fucking Yoohoo. You know? Like, what are you doing? Speaker 2 (10:18) I agree. Okay, so what's your coffee drinker? What's the, are you making it at home? If so, how are you making it? Are you buying it out? Are you buying it local? What's Speaker 1 (10:25) the? I'll make it. I like the ritual of making your own coffee, but yeah, I'll grab a coffee on the street too. You got a French press Speaker 2 (10:31) or you got a Keurig? What are you doing at the house? I got Speaker 1 (10:33) like a, it's like a. Cuisinart thing. It's like grind and brew. So it just slides in. It's not that expensive. It's pretty good. Speaker 3 (10:39) Are you in the same spot you've been for a while? Yeah. You moved somewhat recently, didn't you? I moved Speaker 1 (10:43) in my building just on a higher floor. Yeah. Mateo Lane's in the old one. Speaker 3 (10:49) So he's my neighbor. So he's your bottom. He's my bottom. Shout out Mateo. My Speaker 1 (10:53) gay name, dude. It's fun. One Speaker 3 (10:54) bedroom, two bedroom? Speaker 1 (10:56) It's three. Speaker 3 (10:57) Ooh. Yeah. Speaker 1 (10:59) It's weirdly shaped though, so it's not like a real three, but it's like it's it's nice a good spot You own your New York. I own it Good Speaker 3 (11:07) for Speaker 1 (11:08) you. It's a piece of the rock. Yeah, the main head kid. I yeah, I love I love where I live. That's great Yeah, that's a very New York kid paper. You grow up in New Speaker 2 (11:17) York You're like I love you that is a New Yorker you have to love where you live like you when you find a place that you love you're like this is It's your whole identity because it's so hard to find a place you Speaker 1 (11:27) love in New York. I'm obsessed. That was like the main thing. I'm like, that's the thing I care about is like having a place and not having to, because you know, you're on the road so much that when you're like, I just want a place I can like enjoy when I'm home. But then, you know, some people you see fall in the trap. They like their home too much that they're like, I feel like I worked the hardest when I hated where I live. Sure. Sure. When you Speaker 3 (11:45) have Speaker 1 (11:45) roommates you don't like and you're just like, oh, I don't want to go there. You're just getting hammered Speaker 3 (11:49) at Speaker 1 (11:49) the cellar to like. 4 a.m. and you're like, Speaker 2 (11:51) I Speaker 1 (11:51) guess I'll go home now. But yeah, when you like home, it makes you, I remember Ali Wong like way back in the day said to me, I was a super young comic and she said, don't get a girlfriend. And I was like, what do you Speaker 3 (12:03) mean? Speaker 1 (12:03) She's like, you're going to be tempted to do like Netflix and sweatpants. You know, and I get it. I get that, you know. And then she got divorced, I guess. I don't know. But she's a machine. She's always putting out new stuff, you know. Speaker 3 (12:15) So you're going to be there for a while. Speaker 2 (12:17) Yeah, I don't see. Speaker 1 (12:19) Moving anytime soon, though. Very nice. Do Speaker 2 (12:22) you Speaker 1 (12:22) have coffee at the house? I have coffee. Speaker 2 (12:24) What's on the kitchen? What appliances are out? What appliances live on the counter? Speaker 1 (12:29) Toaster, for sure. We've got to make a good sandwich. Do you do toaster oven or proper toaster? Like the pop-out, the old school one. You've got Speaker 2 (12:35) a Speaker 1 (12:35) two or a four? The two. Two. You hear that, Speaker 2 (12:39) Netflix? You're popping off a little bit, okay? Two. Speaker 1 (12:43) What else? What's the countertop, by the way? What's on it? No, what is it? What's it made of? Speaker 3 (12:48) I Speaker 1 (12:48) actually don't even know. Is it granite? I don't know. I don't know what it's made of. I can't picture it right now. Is that weird? No. Speaker 3 (12:55) It's a little weird. I think it is. Speaker 1 (12:57) Maybe it is. Maybe it's granite. I don't know. Okay, granite. It's not formica, is it? It's Speaker 3 (13:01) not wood. Speaker 1 (13:02) It's not wood. No, no, no. Yeah, I guess it's granite. It's an earthly stone. It's Speaker 3 (13:06) a Speaker 1 (13:06) stone. Yeah, if I crack my head in it, it'd be trouble. It'd be bad. That's where he goes. So, yeah, I'm trying to think what else is on there. I got a coffee maker. Mm-hmm. Speaker 1 (13:16) What else? That might be it. Coffee maker, toaster. Bare bones. Okay. That might be it. You have Speaker 3 (13:21) under lighting underneath the cabinets, like that shine on the counter? Speaker 1 (13:24) I think Speaker 3 (13:24) there's Speaker 1 (13:24) a Speaker 3 (13:24) little, Speaker 1 (13:25) yeah. There's a little under lighting. Recess lighting. Very nice. You guys know my place better than I do, I think. Why Speaker 2 (13:31) don't we go do the podcast there? Speaker 1 (13:33) Yeah. Speaker 2 (13:34) Huh. Okay. You got a pepper grinder or a regular pepper shaker? Speaker 1 (13:38) Yeah, just a regular. Speaker 3 (13:40) Nothing automatic. Speaker 1 (13:41) Nah. What's Speaker 3 (13:42) the ice situation in the house? Speaker 1 (13:44) I have like the whiskey cubes. I put those in like anything. Seltzer. I respect it. Just do a big cube. Yeah. Although, you know what I really like? I like those. I like the little cubes. I like the little cubes too. The crunchy ones. Yeah. Like the ones you get at like, not quite as slushy, but like, I love it. Sure. I want to figure that out at some point. You Speaker 2 (14:01) can. Oh no, Sonic does it. You can get the Sonic ice as like, who was it? Heather McMahon has the standalone. That's so funny. She said, she DM'd us afterwards. She's like. Of all the pods and appearances and things I've done, I've never received more DMs or comments or messages about my ice maker that sits on the counter. Yeah, I just do the whiskey. It's Speaker 1 (14:21) like Speaker 2 (14:21) a couple hundred bucks I think you can get on Amazon. Speaker 1 (14:23) Yeah. Even Speaker 2 (14:24) the little tiny Speaker 3 (14:24) balls that you can get. Speaker 1 (14:26) I like those too. There's all different kinds Speaker 3 (14:27) of ice cream you can get. But the balls never come out Speaker 1 (14:29) right. Nah. There's always a little, like, not quite a shape. Yeah, I never did it right. When Speaker 3 (14:34) I was a kid, I got a, like it wasn't a Spencer's, but it was something like that where you got an ice tray that was little footballs. That's pretty fucking cool. It Speaker 1 (14:44) was Speaker 3 (14:44) fucking Speaker 1 (14:44) awesome. I do like that. It Speaker 3 (14:46) was Speaker 1 (14:46) so cool. Damn. I was in Nashville. We can do the fucking birds travel. Oh, Speaker 3 (14:52) the birds, Speaker 1 (14:52) yeah. They travel Speaker 2 (14:53) like I've never seen. Dude, I watched, it's so funny you bring that up. I saw a video of a dad. Talking to his son, he's like, well, we're not going to be home for the game on Saturday. Can time for Sunday? He's like, yeah, I know. And the kid was like, you know, upset. Speaker 3 (15:08) And he's like, because we're going to be in Nashville. Speaker 2 (15:11) And the kid's like, you what? I'm like, you're going to a fucking, you're crying over a regular season game in Tennessee. It's crazy, dude. He's a little kid. I know, but it's just like. Speaker 1 (15:19) I talked to Speaker 2 (15:19) the Speaker 1 (15:19) city, he goes, the only people that travel as well as the Eagles fans are the Packers fans. But this is how well the Eagles fans travel. I have a joke where I say. I was about to sleep with a girl. She takes her top off and there's an eagle tattooed in her chest. And I say, oh boy. You slept with my mom? But I said, oh boy. And Speaker 2 (15:37) she Speaker 1 (15:37) said, what? I was like, I didn't know I was going to fuck Conor McGregor tonight. That's Speaker 2 (15:39) a Speaker 1 (15:39) joke. But I do that joke in Nashville and someone yells out in the middle, go birds. Go birds. I'm like, all right. It happened Speaker 2 (15:48) like three shows. I'm Speaker 3 (15:49) like, you Speaker 2 (15:50) don't expect that shit to happen in Speaker 1 (15:51) Nashville. Speaker 2 (15:52) Three for three. Speaker 1 (15:53) Yeah. Speaker 2 (15:54) Yeah. But they, Speaker 1 (15:55) yeah, no, they travel, man. Speaker 2 (15:57) There's a very dirtbag thing of, you know, you say it happens even like if I'm in the city here and I'm like, I'm from Philly or something like on stage, someone gay birds or like they try to G check. You're like, where from what street? And you're like, I do this afterwards, you know? Speaker 3 (16:10) Huh? Sammy, you watch TV with the closed captionings on. Speaker 1 (16:13) Sometimes if it's a if it's like a if it's a British show or an Irish show, you better believe I do. OK, you got to. I'm not going to watch Peaky Blinders without