A Grundling!

Ambridge on the Couch - this week on The Archers

The hosts provide a detailed recap of recent dramatic events in the Ambridge universe, focusing on the fallout from Carol's death and Alan's contr

Key takeaways

• Alan is facing scrutiny for transferring funds to a church bell account following Carol's death.
• Brad's driving lessons with Jazza resulted in him crashing into Helen's gate.

Main topics

• The Archers plot recap
• Alan and Carol's legacy

Notable quotes

Welcome to Ambridge, little Joseph Bradley Snell Claviculo Grundy.

Conclusion

A comprehensive and emotionally resonant commentary on the evolving dr

Transcript preview

Speaker 4 (0:00) Love this podcast? Support this show through the supporter feature from Acast. It's up to you how much you give and there's no regular commitment. Just hit the link in the show description to support now. Speaker 2 (0:18) Welcome to Ambridge on the Couch, an in-depth look at the archers with me, Geoff Thomas, Lucy Freeman, James Everett and Matt Rodriguez-Payne. Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge. Speaker 4 (0:35) We began the week up a tree with Eddie, with George describing his heavily pregnant wife as, sorry, girlfriend, as the size of a tractor. Nice. Stella struggled, as I suspect the rest of the village does, to understand the concept of a community orchard which produces cider that the Grundys then sell back to the community. Eddie was missing Joe. As predicted by everyone, George announced that the baby was going to be a Joe or a Josephine. Poor baby. It was Brad for about five minutes. Has George even told Amber this? I suspect that if George had ice cream just before the birth, the baby would either be Ben or Jerry. Ruth went to the Bridge Farm shop and immediately regretted it after Natasha positively mined her for information in a way that made the Susan Reuters carton news service look amateurish. Then trotted home to have a startling conversation with Stella about a pulsator and a squirt of lube. What the hell goes on between those two? Anyway, naturally, Ruth couldn't wait to let Stella know that Sarah and Nova were not invited to the wedding. Natasha is one of those parents who are like dog owners, who sincerely believe that A, theirs is different, B, it hardly bites, and C, it is so adorable. How could it possibly not adorn your wedding dress shop slash five-star restaurant slash funeral service? Having stirred up lots of shit with Stella, Ruth then proceeded to trot over to Anna's to do the same and seemingly strolled straight into her bedroom. What is wrong with these people? I mean, my postman lets himself in, but only to the hall. And he certainly doesn't perch on the end of my bed and watch me getting dressed. Well, only if he's feeling particularly chatty anyway. Incidentally, there was more weirdness when Stella appeared to be having a shower in the kitchen where Pip was cooking breakfast. Ruth then seemingly appeared to want to follow Anna to Bristol, haranguing her throughout. and then were sat on her doorstep when she got home. Anna was too busy to stop and chat as she was sorting out the paperwork for a restraining order. Bert is back at Tracy's, but Tracy was occupied as she's apparently getting busy on the cheese. I hope they rinse it off. In between doing that, she discussed driving lessons with Brad before she realised what a living nightmare that would be. Happily, Jazza stepped up in a spirit of misguided optimism, which completely evaporated once he'd had a knuckle-whitening trip to Gay Grable's and back with Brad hunched over the steering wheel shouting, whee, as he went round the corners. Anna followed the ambridge, never used the front door if a back door or a loose glass pane in a window will do, and patrolled Crusty's house until she found her sitting in the garden and asked her if she could sacrifice a cat at rewilding in honour of her mother. Kate went round to see Anna, again not knocking, just casually busting a window, sat on what appeared to be a tin bucket, ate all Anna's crisps and waffled on about a meteor shower and describing it as nature's firework display. It is not. It is sitting on damp grass for bloody hours, staring up at a cloudy sky and occasionally wearily asking, is that one? When it's the easy jet flight to Alicante. Slavka is coping well with the extra milking, in case anyone was wondering. I don't think we know a Slavka, do we? Speaker 2 (3:34) No. Speaker 4 (3:35) Also, Robert is a seemingly intelligent man, and yet he's approaching all kinds of wildly inappropriate people to host his flipping dog field. So far, he's approached an overly stressed dairy farmer and someone running a rewilded biodiverse mosaic. Speaker 3 (3:49) What Speaker 4 (3:49) next? Chelsea's horse box? How Tracy manages not to clog Helen with a milking bucket, I don't know. Tracy's struggling to pay for driving lessons for her child, though admittedly, by the sound of it, he shouldn't be behind the wheel at all. And Helen has paid three times the extortionate price that normal amusement park tickets cost to allow them to jump the queue. I've only ever done that once as it was a freebie thing. And I have to say, as a British person, it is excruciating. As we have an innate horror of being perceived as queue jumping, it makes the whole experience utterly unenjoyable as you sidle past people apologising and avoiding eye contact with all the queuers who are regarding you with silent loathing. Anyway, karma got her as Brad carefully reversed into her gate. And we ended the week with Amber. driving round the green to eat ice cream and have a baby. As has been teased all week, naughty Kerry Davis, Brad was there. I was beginning to think he'd wired her up to the Thames machine so every time she farted he could leap out of a nearby hedge and clutch her hand. George got there eventually and appeared to be under the impression that Amber would be roped up in the corner of a straw-filled barn with someone stripped to the waist wearing rubber gloves up to the elbow, rummaging about inside her while someone else made bacon sandwiches in the farmhouse. Welcome to Ambridge, little Joseph Bradley Snell Claviculo Grundy. Well done, everyone. Brace yourself, Joe. You've entered a hell of a situation, but I've no doubt you'll master it, just like your great-grandfather. You've got big shoes to fill, so start learning everyone's surnames now, is my advice. The end. Speaker 2 (5:23) Yes, well done, everyone, indeed. Speaker 4 (5:25) Yes. Speaker 2 (5:25) Especially Kerry Davis, who wrote an absolute corker of an episode yesterday. Speaker 4 (5:32) Yeah. Yes, it was lovely. The Speaker 2 (5:34) Friday night episode was beautiful. Really beautiful. The rest of the week, a bit silly. Friday night, beautiful. I did not cry. I just had something in my eye, Lucy. Speaker 4 (5:47) Tears, tears. No, I think Speaker 2 (5:50) possibly somebody was frying onions, cutting onions. Speaker 4 (5:53) Right, Speaker 2 (5:53) yes, Speaker 4 (5:54) in the garden. Speaker 2 (5:55) In the garden, yes. No, I did have a good old ugly weep, actually. It was beautiful. Speaker 4 (6:03) You said, oh, God, it brings it all back. It Speaker 2 (6:05) really does, yeah. Not all of it was happy crying, I have to say. I mean, obviously, anybody who's... become a parent. I was talking to Lucy about this yesterday and I said in as many words, I am so, so glad that I didn't have to give birth. Speaker 4 (6:27) Yeah. Speaker 2 (6:28) And this was the example I gave. It must be like when you're on the way up on a roller coaster and you know whatever happens, you are going over the other side. You are going to be... plummeting to earth at breakneck speed, terrified and wishing you'd never started. Speaker 4 (6:49) Yeah. And Speaker 2 (6:49) it's coming, whatever happens. There is no way of avoiding it anymore. Speaker 1 (6:54) Yeah. Speaker 2 (6:54) Except far, far, far worse than the roller coaster. Yeah. And I think they really, Kerry really captured that very nicely. It's not really for me to say that, but it seemed to me. Speaker 4 (7:09) Yeah. Speaker 2 (7:10) As though he captured that very, very nicely. Speaker 4 (7:12) Yeah, and I was so glad that she said, no, sod it, don't film anything. Yeah, Speaker 2 (7:17) yeah, yeah. You know, Speaker 4 (7:18) don't film it, don't care, doesn't matter. No. Don't want to share it with anybody. Indeed. I just want to Speaker 2 (7:22) do Speaker 4 (7:23) it myself and be happy. Speaker 2 (7:25) Yes, and also that she was self-aware enough to feel entirely comfortable about sacking off all the plans she'd made. Speaker 4 (7:35) Yeah, water birth. The water birth and, you know, Speaker 2 (7:37) all the rest of it. When push came to shove, Speaker 4 (7:40) she Speaker 2 (7:40) just said, no. I Speaker 4 (7:42) know what I need, yeah. I Speaker 2 (7:43) know the plans we made, but we're doing something else now. Speaker 4 (7:47) So Speaker 2 (7:47) good for her. So she didn't get an epidural, did she? No, Speaker 4 (7:51) she Speaker 2 (7:51) didn't. Speaker 4 (7:51) It was Speaker 2 (7:51) too late by that point. And Speaker 4 (7:53) I was so glad that Brad wasn't there. Speaker 2 (7:56) Yeah, me too. That would have been Speaker 4 (7:57) such a cliche. Yeah. George ringing, I'm stuck in traffic. Brad, can you do it? You've got to look after her for me and all that stuff. That could have been so ick. Well, again, they Speaker 2 (8:06) teased it, didn't they? Because there was the phone call from George to Brad. Speaker 4 (8:10) Yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (8:11) Which also was really beautiful because having, and this, I'm on rather firmer ground here, having been there as the father at the birth, it is terrifying. I mean, it's not painful, thank goodness, but it is terrifying. And on all of the things that George said about what if something happens to the baby, what if something happens to Amber? Speaker 4 (8:35) These Speaker 2 (8:36) things happen. They do. Speaker 4 (8:38) As Speaker 2 (8:38) Brad said, it's almost vanishingly rare these days, but it happens. And you are basically completely helpless. You're just there getting in the way, more or less. Speaker 4 (8:50) Yeah. Speaker 2 (8:51) And there's nothing you can do about it. Other than, in a fairly feeble sort of a way, try and give your support. Yes. Speaker 4 (9:00) You're doing very well, Speaker 2 (9:03) darling. Do you think this is going to Speaker 4 (9:06) take much longer because MasterChef is on in a minute? Speaker 2 (9:11) Bake Off is on in a minute, more to the point now. And, yes, so George experiencing that and equally Brad saying all exactly the right... all the things he should have said in that situation. And Speaker 4 (9:25) also... And not going to the Speaker 2 (9:26) hospital. Speaker 4 (9:27) Yeah, exactly. Brad did not make it about him. No. He recognised, you're a little family, is what he said. Yeah. And he would only be in the way and he needs to... I was slightly annoyed with Amber saying, Brad, you've got to come with me, when Keira was right there. Speaker 2 (9:43) Yeah. And Speaker 4 (9:43) it would have been much better if she'd taken Keira with her. But, you know, I can understand. She knows Brad better than... Speaker 2 (9:51) Keira's not an adult either. Yeah, that's true, that's true, that's Speaker 4 (9:53) true. Yeah, no, it might have been a bit traumatic for her. But Speaker 2 (9:55) I Speaker 4 (9:55) was so glad that they didn't do the soapy-tropey thing. He did a very grown-up, well, Robert was going home, so I thought I'd get a lift with him, you know. Speaker 2 (10:02) Oh, how lovely was Robert. He Speaker 4 (10:04) didn't need Speaker 2 (10:04) me anymore. Robert did exactly what was needed of him. Speaker 4 (10:08) Yes, told terrible dad jokes. Ha, ha, ha, don't think my velour, but I can't seem to go to the spa Speaker 2 (10:13) with this. Speaker 4 (10:13) Yes, he had the Speaker 2 (10:14) velour on his granada. I thought that was Speaker 4 (10:16) a Speaker 2 (10:16) nice touch. No, he did. In his own very slightly... Speaker 4 (10:21) Bumbling sort of way. Yes, Speaker 2 (10:22) bumbling is exactly it. In his own very slightly bumbling way, he just took all of the urgency out of the situation. He said, look, it's all right, I'm here, the car's right here. Speaker 4 (10:33) I know, but he was taking so much urgency out of the situation, I was thinking, Speaker 2 (10:37) for God's sake, he's just going to have it outside the shop. Speaker 4 (10:39) Hurry up, Robert, stop yakking, get her in. Speaker 2 (10:42) Robert, don't finish Amber's ice cream, just get in the car now. And drive. But no, he was beautiful. Oh, Speaker 4 (10:50) actually, we need some milk. Do you mind if I just pop in and get some? My friend nearly had her baby in the back of our car. Oh, God. Oh, Speaker 2 (10:57) God. I can't even imagine. The Speaker 4 (10:58) whole thing. And it was my ex who was driving her. And he said the worst thing was listening to her being in so much pain. Speaker 3 (11:07) And Speaker 4 (11:08) all he could do was drive. just get there and he was thinking all the time, what if I get a flat tyre? What if I don't know? You know, and it was it was literally like four miles to the hospital. Speaker 2 (11:17) But Speaker 4 (11:18) and he was also thinking, what if she has this baby in the back of the car? What do I do? Do we ring the hospital? And he said, just pretending. No, it's all fine. Don't worry. Look, the traffic's clearing now. We'll be there in no time. And at the same time, they get, oh, it's horrible. So I did feel for Robert. Speaker 2 (11:33) When Henrik, my son, was born, Steffi's waters broke as we went to bed. So we called the midwife then at that point. There were no contractions or anything. And so they said, well, go to bed, get some sleep, give us another ring in the morning, see how you're getting on. Yeah, because Speaker 4 (11:48) it's the last bit of sleep we're going to get for the next four years. Yes, exactly. Speaker 2 (11:51) And we got up in the morning and they said, yeah, Speaker 4 (11:55) you Speaker 2 (11:55) should probably, you know, think about making your way into hospital now and we'll see you when you get here. Speaker 4 (12:00) And Speaker 2 (12:00) they sort of said, but there's no hurry. Take your time. So we very slowly, we had a bit of breakfast. We, you know, made sure we'd got the bags and everything. And then we got two buses to the hospital because we didn't have a car. I still don't have a car. Could you not have Speaker 4 (12:19) sprung for a cab, Jeffy? Speaker 2 (12:20) Well, there was no hurry. And Jeffy was kind of, I mean, this ended up being the problem actually was that her contractions didn't start. Speaker 4 (12:28) Right. Speaker 2 (12:28) And then they put her on, what's the hormone they give you to induce contractions? Speaker 4 (12:35) Yeah, that thing. I Speaker 2 (12:36) can't remember the name of it. Anyway, so they put her on that and were ramping it up and up and up and up and up. And she was getting all the downside of the contractions. So she was getting all the pain, but Speaker 4 (12:47) she Speaker 2 (12:47) wasn't. Speaker 4 (12:48) Nothing was shifting. Speaker 2 (12:49) Exactly. Yeah. Dilating at all. And there was some bacteria. Speaker 4 (12:55) Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That could be really scary. Yeah. Speaker 2 (12:57) It's not uncommon at all. But if it's there, once the waters are broken, the clock's ticking. You have to get the baby out, I think, within 24 hours of the waters breaking because otherwise the baby becomes exposed to the bacteria. Speaker 4 (13:11) Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Speaker 2 (13:12) then you can indeed be in all sorts of problems. So we got to six o'clock and Steffi still hadn't dilated and they just looked at each other and said, right, okay, emergency C-section. And half an hour later, there we were sitting on the maternity ward until all of a sudden we were in the bowels of the hospital and, oh, God. The whole thing was just, from that point on, was an absolute blur. But, yeah, we took two buses to the hospital because there just didn't seem to be any urgency at all. I'm quite proud of that. We did get a taxi back. Speaker 4 (13:48) Oh, well done, Geoff. From the hospital, yes. Well, you did. Oh, no, no. Yeah, in the push chair. Speaker 2 (13:56) So, no, that was beautiful. There was a lot of silliness before that, mind you. Not least, Ruth. Speaker 4 (14:02) Yeah, that was so weird. Speaker 2 (14:04) Haranguing Anna. Speaker 4 (14:05) She just doesn't know when to back off, does she? No. Speaker 2 (14:08) And actually, it turned out quite quickly that it wasn't about Anna at all. It was about Ruth. It Speaker 4 (14:16) was about Ruth, yes. Speaker 2 (14:17) And about her experiences and her scars. That's enough Speaker 4 (14:21) about me. Speaker 3 (14:22) What do you think about me? Yeah. Speaker 4 (14:24) Yeah. But I did, after my father died, I threw myself into work and I should not have done that. I absolutely should have had some time off because I did some really stupid things. because I was just like, I'm Speaker 3 (14:35) fine, Speaker 4 (14:35) I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, just trying to distract myself. Speaker 3 (14:37) And Speaker 4 (14:37) you shouldn't make any big decisions within, you know, people say you shouldn't make any big decisions for a year after. But I also would add to that, do as little and as low key things at work as you can possibly do, because frankly, you're a liability. After that sort of shock, you're a liability to everybody around you. But I did understand Anna's, this woman's waited years. I can't let her down. Speaker 2 (15:01) Oh, no. I mean, I think in that situation, absolutely, there really wasn't a lot of choice for Anna there. I mean, it would be the same if she were a doctor or a surgeon. She's in a job where her not turning up for work. You see, if I don't turn up for work, nobody gives a toss. It doesn't have the slightest impact on anybody Speaker 4 (15:20) at all. Speaker 2 (15:20) Geoffrey, your computer Speaker 4 (15:21) was off your central admin thing. for a year before anyone noticed. So, yes. Speaker 2 (15:28) Yeah. So if I don't turn up for work, really not a big deal. But if Anna doesn't turn up for work, it really is a big deal for her client. And I know with the lack of funding for the British legal or judicial system at the moment, you can wait a very, very long time for your trial. And if for whatever reason it gets scrubbed. Speaker 4 (15:51) then Speaker 2 (15:51) you're back to square one and you're back to waiting for a free court and a free Speaker 1 (15:55) judge Speaker 2 (15:56) and all the rest of it again. Speaker 1 (15:58) So Speaker 2 (15:58) basically she did have to be there, regardless of whether she wanted to be there or not, actually regardless of whether she could really give it her full attention. I mean, maybe she might have been able to round up a colleague to say, look, I'm really sorry, could you? Speaker 4 (16:13) But Speaker 2 (16:14) even then, you're asking somebody to come in hot. and just pick up the reins of the case, probably not knowing anything about it at all, so which is worse? Whatever the ins and outs of it, Anna didn't want to stay at home and mope. She wanted to go to work. There is no one-size-fits-all solution for grief. You just deal with it as best you can. Speaker 4 (16:35) Yeah. Speaker 4 (16:37) What Speaker 2 (16:38) is that noise? Speaker 4 (16:39) It's the donkey. Speaker 1 (16:42) Morning, donkey. Speaker 4 (16:43) He's woken up. Speaker 2 (16:44) Our friendly local donkey is hungry by the sounds of things. Speaker 4 (16:48) Cheap inn. If you have bought two vastly expensive small dresses for two small people to attend a wedding and then you find out that actually you got it wrong and that they're not allowed at the wedding, what would be the problem in just returning the dresses? Why would you make such a huge bluff about, but I've bought the dresses now. Speaker 2 (17:03) No, sorry. Just send them back. No, there's no excuse. It's absolutely, that's on you. Okay, perhaps the invitations probably should have been more explicit. We wrote, so we did the same thing. We had limited capacity at our wedding, Steffi and I, and I think we had room for 130 people. And Steffi's family is enormous. Speaker 4 (17:27) So Speaker 2 (17:28) there were about 40 aunts and uncles. Speaker 4