#117 Why Do People Care So Much About What Others Think?

Agile Malayali

The episode explores the psychological drivers behind our desire for social acceptance and how the fear of judgment shapes our life choices.

Key takeaways

• The desire for social acceptance is a fundamental and deeply human biological drive.
• External validation, such as video views or likes, can temporarily serve as a proxy for self-worth during periods of insecurity.

Main topics

• Social Acceptance
• Self-Worth and Validation

Notable quotes

Wanting acceptance is deeply human.

Conclusion

The episode serves as a reflective guide on decoupling self-esteem fro

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) Hello, Namaskar and welcome to Agile Malayali. What do others think about me? What do others think about me? That thought is what drives us. I have often understood this when I reflect on myself. When I realize that others think that I should not be bothered by others, you tend to... Consider that. Sometimes, it's too much. When there are insecurities in life, it's more about what others think, what others say, how they perceive me. These things impact me more. When I'm not insecure, I think I'm more in control. I feel this is related to our insecurities. Speaker 1 (0:55) Let's go through a few points. The first point is, wanting acceptance is deeply human. We need to get that acceptance from others. That is a deeply human thing. So if someone says, hey, I don't have a problem with that, it might be a lie. We all need to be accepted by others. We need to be accepted by others. That is a very deep human nature. Speaker 1 (1:36) If we don't have the desire to accept other people's actions, we will do many things. There will be some things that we do that we don't care whether people feel good or bad about it. We will do it because we want it. But we do many things that other people will feel comfortable about. Books. Speaker 1 (2:01) Career. Sometimes we ask some people, why do people run after their career so much? It's not my interest, but what I mean by that is, money is not the reason, power is not the reason. We can't imagine that all the people running after their career are happy with the great desire and desire for what they do. Speaker 1 (2:29) Even if you get money, fame, and all these, others are being accepted. That's why people often say that retirement is the price of retirement. So we always want acceptance from others. Next point, validation can become evidence of self-worth. This is related to the insecurity I mentioned earlier. Our self-worth. I am not good enough, I am not good enough, I am not good enough, that thought. That thought often needs validation from someone. Because if we look inside, we feel that we are not good enough. But... We need to validate it from others. So, none of us are beyond this feeling of low of everything. Then you should immediately watch a video and give it a 1000 like. Speaker 1 (3:46) It doesn't mean that it's not my fault or my self-worth or validation. But deep down, we feel that we did something, and thousands of people liked it, and we got a reward.