Add It Again: Eve’s That Girl

Add to Cart with Kulap Vilaysack & SuChin Pak

In this episode of Add to Cart, hosts Kulap Vilaysack and SuChin Pak sit down with hip-hop icon Eve to discuss her new memoir, 'Who's That G

Key takeaways

• Eve reflects on the 'warp speed' nature of her early career and the difficulty of making major life decisions under intense public scrutiny.
• The memoir details Eve's experiences with anxiety and panic attacks, specifically how she initially used substances to numb the stress of fame.

Main topics

• Celebrity Memoir
• Mental Health and Anxiety

Notable quotes

I was terrified because I couldn't breathe.

Conclusion

A poignant and vulnerable dialogue that bridges the gap between celebr

Transcript preview

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For the fall pieces you will reach for most at Quince, download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash add to cart. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash add to cart. Speaker 1 (3:34) Welcome back to Atta Cart. I'm your auntie, Speaker 2 (3:37) Kulap Vilaysak. And I'm your other auntie, Sujan Pak. Let me put on my sunglasses today because our guest, her star power is Speaker 1 (3:46) blinding. Blinding. Speaker 2 (3:48) We're Speaker 1 (3:49) so excited. Yeah, my eyes are basically dilated right now. So our guest today is a trailblazer. Speaker 3 (3:56) She Speaker 1 (3:57) is Speaker 3 (3:57) a Speaker 1 (3:57) multi-platinum Grammy Award winning, Emmy nominated rapper. Singer, songwriter, actor, and entrepreneur. In 1999, she made history with her debut album, Let There Be Eve, Rough Rider's First Lady. That album skyrocketed to number one on the Billboard 200, and she became the third female rapper ever to achieve this. Her book, Who's That Girl? A Memoir, is releasing this month. Please add to cart, Eve! Hello! Speaker 1 (4:31) Hello. I Speaker 2 (4:32) mean, all the way, all the way. I mean, international interviews. This could be a first for us here on Etiquette. Speaker 1 (4:38) You're in London, I assume? I'm in London, yeah. You're a London lady. So when I finished the Speaker 2 (4:45) book, the first thing, I called Ku and I was like, this book made me want to quit the industry again. Speaker 1 (4:52) There were Speaker 2 (4:53) so many parts in this where it was so stressful. Like I could so relate, you know, and this may, we may cut this out because it's such a, like a micro maybe convo about like television and hosting and talk shows and like what you have to give to like stay in. I didn't know until I was in it once. And when I got out of it, I was like, I feel like I just dodged a bullet. Speaker 1 (5:23) Well, that's weird because it's like for you to say dodge a bullet, it's like you've been you, Suchan Pak, MTV, MTV, Suchan Pak. You were like riding the bullet like you both ride the bullet. So it's like dodging it, rattling it. Speaker 2 (5:37) Yeah. What Speaker 1 (5:38) are Speaker 2 (5:38) you talking Speaker 1 (5:39) about? Speaker 2 (5:40) True, true, true. Which is why when I was reading it, it was like taking me back to those anxiety moments. Because, you know, you're in your 20s. You don't even know what hair color you want. And then you have to make these like huge decisions about your life in front of a huge platform. So anyway, that was kind of like the big setup like that for me. I like related to it so, so deeply. Can you talk about that? Speaker 3 (6:09) Sorry for the anxiety. Sorry for the anxiety, but. Um, yeah, it was, listen, it was intense. It was intense. It quickly went from kind of like, you know, you get signed and you're doing all these amazing things and you're like, this is amazing. And then you're like, oh my God, I, this is crazy. It's warp speed. It's faster than fast, you know, but you're also still have trying to have a good time. But again, like you said, you're making all these decisions that you've never had to make before. You have all these emotions that you've never had before and still trying to keep up with your friends to be like, I haven't changed. What are you talking about? Like you're trying to bring people along on your ride, which also becomes tiring and stressful. And I am grateful. I am thankful. But it was definitely a lot, which is why I Speaker 1 (7:02) drank as much. And I talk about that in the Speaker 3 (7:04) book, which is why I drank and tried to numb things out. And, you know, one, sometimes not to think about it. Pretty much sometimes not to feel it, you know, not to feel the stress, the strain. Speaker 2 (7:19) Yeah, it was a lot. It was a lot. The other thing that's related to this that I also related to is, is that like we've talked about this where someone will ask me, oh, well, you know, what was what was your favorite interview at MTV? I'm like, it is a black hole. I have no memory of about 10 years of my life because you're in fight or flight a lot of the time. But also, it's almost like you have to get off the ride to like enjoy what the ride was. Like, do you feel like that where you're like, whoa, I mean, I wish I had more fun then, but there was no possible way I was doing that and showing up to work. Speaker 3 (7:59) No, no way. You had to keep going. And in the time, the small times that you did have some time to yourself or went away, I slept because I was so tired. I would go on vacations and not even see. the outside. I'd have breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the room. I might walk to the beach and put a toe in and then I'm going back to sleep. And then it's time to go because now I have another tour or I have another this, that, and other. You really don't have any time to Speaker 2 (8:29) reflect. Speaker 3 (8:31) And because you are just trying to keep up, you're just trying to keep up. And you know what the industry does, not just the industry. Your management can be that way. Your agents, they make you feel like if you say no to this opportunity, it's all going to go. Speaker 1 (8:49) It's all going to go from this one no. Speaker 3 (8:52) You've been doing, you've been working your ass off for years, but this one no. That's right. Now it'll be over. That anxiety of like, fuck, I've worked my ass off to get here. It can't be over. It can't. It's like guilt. It's this guilt. It's crazy. It's crazy. And Speaker 2 (9:10) that ghost of like saying no because you don't know if it'll come again. So that ghost is related to fear. It's related to scarcity mindset. It's related to trauma. It's related to so many things. It is such an intense trigger. And whether people push that intentionally or not, it is such an incredible motivator to do things. But it just burns you out on the other end of it. I still have that ghost. And I'm like, what am I rushing around for? Snack time? Like, what's the hurry? But you can't, like, once you kind of, like, that, like, thing gets metabolized in your brain, it is so hard to pull that apart. from like who you are. I mean, I wish it was just the brain. Speaker 1 (10:02) It feels like it's, I mean, I, the whole body, it's, yeah, like it's Speaker 2 (10:07) a Speaker 1 (10:07) physical, where's my cortisol? Yeah. Speaker 2 (10:09) Does Speaker 1 (10:09) anyone know where my cortisol is? I can't find it. I lost Speaker 2 (10:15) it in 2009. Speaker 2 (10:18) When you talk about your first like panic attack. Yeah, that was really real. I remember my first panic. Like that also too, because you're like, what is this? What is this? What was happening to Speaker 1 (10:27) my body, my brain? Who is this person? Who is this person? Can you talk? Speaker 2 (10:32) Yeah. Can you? Because I think so many of our listeners who are kind of in that crunch of like their 20s and 30s trying to figure it all out don't realize like. This is your body's normal way of trying to get grounded and realize, you know, process. Slow Speaker 3 (10:52) you down. It literally, either you do it Speaker 1 (10:54) or Speaker 3 (10:55) your body will do it for you. Your body and your brain will do it for you. Yeah, that first time, that first anxiety attack was like. Speaker 3 (11:06) the fear is not even the terror. It was, I was terrified. I was terrified because I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even see. Like I remember, like, it was so weird. It was like this hazy feeling of like, what is happening to me? But then, you know, back then nobody had those words. Nobody talked about anxiety and things like that. So there was not even a person that I could say, Hey, this happened to me. And someone could say like, Well, that's what it is. You know, people were just like, calm down. You need to chill out. Maybe you need to relax. Like, just relax. Like, it was horrible. And it was horrible. I mean, it took me years to realize that for me, going back again to like numbing myself, me drinking or whatever made the anxiety 20 times worse. Because I would go do it to calm myself down. But then because I'd probably have a hangover the next day. I'm back into this anxious state of being. And then it just kept going, kept going, kept going. Yeah, it's, I mean, I still have it. I still struggle with anxiety. Like I'm human. Like I still do. But thankfully I now know, you know, I know the things that help me. I know when I need to say no. I know when I can say to, I'm really grateful. I have such an amazing team that I can be like, listen, this is one too many. My kid gives me, you know, a greater excuse of like, I need to be with my kid. Like this has taken too many days away from him. So whenever I need to kind of slow down, thank God I can do that. But also, you know, I do meditate now, not often, but you know, I go to that now. Speaker 2 (12:45) I have tools, put Speaker 3 (12:46) it that way. Speaker 2 (12:46) I have tools now. I think this like anxiety culture is like so pervasive, you know, and I, and I love that you talk about it so openly and honestly, and in a way that like, Because when you're in that, like you said, whether you have the language or not, you can feel so alone and you feel like, what's wrong with me? Can you talk about that? And then we can get into some of like all