Your Limits Are Learned (And They Can Be Unlearned) with Brain Coach Jim Kwik

A Bit of Optimism

In this episode of A Bit of Optimism, Jim Kwik, a renowned brain coach and memory expert, shares his powerful journey from being labeled 'the boy with the broken

Key takeaways

• Limiting beliefs are often formed in childhood and can persist into adulthood unless consciously challenged.
• The brain is not fixed; it can be trained and improved through intentional practice and mindset shifts.

Main topics

• The power of self-belief and identity
• Overcoming childhood labels and trauma

Notable quotes

"That label became my limit. Adults have to be very careful of their external words because they often become a child's internal words."

"I didn't lack the effort. I would work three times harder, but I just wouldn't be as smart."

Conclusion

Jim Kwik's story is a testament to the fact that our limits are not fixed—they're learned and

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) One day I was being teased in class, a teacher came to my defense. She said, leave that kid alone. That's the boy with the broken brain. So that label became my limit. Adults have to be very careful of their external words because they often become a child's internal words. Yeah. I'm curious what it was that broke the narrative and helped you recognize that you indeed, you know, weren't broken, but in fact were quite the opposite. You're limitless. Too many of us are still walking around with a self-belief that came from our childhood. When we were young, somebody may have told us that we were bad at math or that we were lazy. Whatever it was, we still say those things about ourselves today. That label became part of our identity. Worse, those labels become our limits. Speaker 1 (0:49) That's why I wanted to talk to Jim Quick, because that's exactly what happened to him. When Jim was five years old, he suffered a brain injury, and it delayed his ability to read by three years. When he was nine years old, a well-meaning but probably short-sighted teacher called him the boy with the broken brain. The problem was that label stuck, and Jim believed it. That label became his identity, and it held him back in all kinds of places in his life, until he learned how to overcome the label. Today, Jim is a leading expert on memory and accelerated learning. He's the best-selling author of Limitless, and his new book, Limitless Daily, offers daily upgrades to transform our lives. Speaker 1 (1:34) This is the great irony. The boy with the broken brain has spent over three decades teaching people to read faster, remember more, and think better. This episode covers a lot of ground, and we come to some amazing conclusions by the end. But at a high level, what it's about is that difficult times can define us, diminish us, distract us, or develop us. We get to decide. If you like this episode, please remember to subscribe. This is a bit of optimism. Speaker 1 (2:13) This episode is proudly brought to you by SAP. The best companies all have something in common. They have figured out how to build a culture in which their people feel cared for. They invest in relationships, in curiosity, and in helping their people grow. And the results speak for themselves. People want to work there for a long time, and the companies themselves become powerhouses. To learn more about SAP Grow, head to sap.com slash grow. The one and only Jim Quick. I can't believe it's been this long since we've done a podcast together. I did yours a million years ago. Yeah, we did a few. Like you were one of the OG podcasters. We did a few episodes. You were doing it before there was a thing called podcasting. Speaker 1 (2:58) Now everybody's got a podcast. I saw on Facebook memories those nine years ago, somebody spliced you and I on stages and it has 38 million views. And it was talking about our devices and how just you need to talk about having the phone. You and I were talking about that a long time ago. This was, yeah, it's timely now, especially. I know, it's true. We were making some serious predictions back then. Yeah. And you have no gray hair. My hairline is definitely receding. Yeah, that was a special time. Your career, I mean, you're known for memory and learning, but I'm so curious how our career progresses. You know, when Start With Why first came out, people called me the why guy, right? The why guy. Everybody knew me as the why guy. I didn't come up with that. And I was so afraid of being stuck in one thing. What have you learned about learning? Speaker 1 (3:51) Over the course of how many years you've been doing this? I am turning 53, so it's 34 years. 34 years. Yeah. Well, that's a very meta question, you know, learning about how I learn. Yeah. I mean, can I give a little context for why I do this? Sure. When I add events and I'm teaching learning, people assume that I was just kind of born with this knowledge or this ability or this talent for memory or something else, and that's definitely not the case. As you know, I had a traumatic brain injury when I was five. Speaker 1 (4:19) So I was in kindergarten, took a really bad fall, rushed to the emergency room, and where it showed up was in school, where I spent most of my time. I had migraines every day, poor focus, poor memory. It took me three years long to learn how to read. You know, it's one thing to injure your brain. It's another to injure your heart and your mind, you know, because I felt like I was broken. Yeah, it kills your confidence as a young kid, right? Yeah, my self-esteem, my self-confidence. I just clearly wasn't like the other kids. When I was nine years old, I had a defining moment where I was being teased. My last name really is quick. Speaker 1 (4:48) It's my father's name. My grandfather's not like a stage name, but I was called slow and a lot worse. One day I was being teased in class. Teacher came to my defense. She said, leave that kid alone. That's the boy with the broken brain. So that, that label became my, my limit. Cause I didn't, you know, adults have to be very careful of their external words. Cause they often become a child's internal words. Yeah. Speaker 1 (5:08) I remember even thinking it all the time. Like this was a revelation for me. I didn't know I was broken. Every time I was in pick for sports, which is all the time, I would say, oh, I'm broken. I have a broken brain. Or when I didn't do well in school, which was all the time, it was just like, I'm the broken kid. That was a challenge. And it wasn't just short term. It was all through middle school, junior high, high school. And I was still motivated because my parents, they immigrated to the United States. My dad lost both his parents when he was 13. Speaker 1 (5:35) So we put a high value on family because of, you know, what he instilled. Going through that loss, you know, we live in the back of a laundromat that my mom worked at. They all had many jobs. My grandmother was raising me. Was there a human being in your life that helped you overcome those feelings of limitation? I mean, my parents certainly aren't the wealthiest or the most educated or the most health conscious or they never had a green juice or done a yoga class. They were just really good people. Speaker 1 (6:02) I was very blessed. I felt like I won the lottery there. I feel like anything that I've done well in my life, I credit to them. And where I fell short, it's definitely all on me. So you had love? I did, yes. Those internal stories that teenagers or kids tell themselves, those can last an entire life. And the way people hold themselves back because of an old story, an old narrative, there's adults still dealing with it in therapy now. I'm curious what it was that broke the narrative and helped you recognize that you indeed, you know, weren't broken, but in fact were quite the opposite. You're limitless. There were certainly people that helped me along the way. One of the pet peeves I have is like online, like when people say self-made this or that. Yeah, it doesn't exist. I've never seen a case of that. I remember when I was a freshman in high school and I was failing. Speaker 1 (6:55) high school English. That was tough. They had to pull my parents out of work and had one of those awkward conversations after school. The teacher said, your son's failing my class, he's not going to pass and might be held back. I was so embarrassed because I'm the oldest of three siblings and I want to be a good role model, you know, for my younger brother and sister. So I begged and pleaded and she offered me extra credit. I had to do a book report on Albert Einstein. Speaker 1 (7:22) I promised my parents, I promised the teacher, and she was caring, so she was there. I have such a respect for teachers. My mother became a special education teacher to help me with my challenges. She recently retired out of New York public school system. I promised, I said, I'm going to really do this. I'm going to show people what I can do, make my parents proud, because I never been able to do much. I didn't lack the effort. I would work three times harder, but I just wouldn't be as smart. And there was only one other Asian in the school system. Speaker 1 (7:51) He was a year older, and he was just class valedictorian, head of the debate team, head of the math team, scored a 1590 on his SATs, was so upset, had to take it again to get it perfect. You were failing all the stereotypes. Yeah. He was keeping them alive. And he was like, I made that part of the bell curve possible because I was on the other side. But I feel like maybe he set also a benchmark for people's cognitive bias in the school. But I felt a lot undue pressure, not that people really cared about me. So I'd spend every day in the library. Speaker 1 (8:17) This was before internet, just researching Albert Einstein. I found out he had some learning challenges, which was interesting. Yeah. Which is maybe why this teacher put, pointed me in that direction. But I remember weeks later, I'm so excited because I've never worked so focused and so hard on something ever. The day it was due, my father surprised me and had it like professionally bound. This was like a symbol of like, I was so excited. I never got excited to go to school. But this day I was just skipping on air and I couldn't wait to hand it in. Speaker 1 (8:45) In class, I'm just, I can't wait. Like, I'm just like really happy. And towards the end of class, the teacher looks at me and says, Jim, we have a surprise for everybody class. Jim, come to the front of the room and present your book report. And I just, oh my goodness. I didn't realize I had to talk about it. Like my mouth is getting dry just thinking about it. My challenge besides learning was public speaking. So I'm pointing out how bad it really was. Let me give you one more example and then I'll show you the intervention. I was so nervous. Speaker 1 (9:13) Then I looked at the teacher. I said, I didn't do it. I lied. And you could see the disappointment in her face because she really cared. And after the class let out and I'm the only one there, I remember going, standing up, going to the door to leave the classroom, reaching into my backpack, pulling out the book report. I threw it in the trash. Whoa. Yeah. And I felt symbolically it was, but that's how. Speaker 1 (9:35) bad it was, like my fear of insecurity and self-esteem and not want to be seen. I couldn't read. I taught myself how to read by reading comic books. Something about the illustrations brought to life. But my superpower is being invisible, right? I didn't want to take up space because I don't want to be bullied. I don't want to be called out in class. I would sit behind a tall kid, so I'd be unseen. But the intervention was, I was fortunate enough to get into a local college. And I thought freshman meant I could make a fresh start. Speaker 1 (10:03) And I took all these classes. I'm like, I'm going to do it again. And I did worse. I was ready to quit. And so the intervention came when I was ready because I didn't know how to tell my parents. So a friend said, hey, I'm going home to see my family for the weekend. Why don't you come with and get some perspective? And I find, Simon, that when you change your place or your people around, you get a different point of view. And family's pretty well off. Beautiful home on the water. And father's walking me around before dinner saying. Speaker 1 (10:29) just the property and says, innocent question, but the worst question you could ask me at the time said, Jim, how's school? And I just break, like, I'm pretty introverted and reserved. I just start bawling in front of this complete stranger because I had so much just pent up. Tell my whole story about broken brain. I'm ready to quit school. And he's like, Jim, why are you in school? You know, what do you want to be or do or share? And I didn't have any answer. No one's ever asked me that question before. I just thought it's just, you know, what you do. And when I go to answer him, Speaker 1 (10:57) He takes a notepad out of his back pocket and rips out a couple sheets, maybe write it down. And I honestly didn't, you know, it was hard exercise, but I really started dreaming about who I am and what I wanted to do, what motivated me. And when I'm done, I start folding the sheets to put in my back of my pocket, thinking the exercise is over. And he just reaches out and grabs it right out of my hand and he starts reading it. And I'm freaking out, right? I'm an 18 year old kid. This guy's obviously pretty successful and he's looking at my dreams, things I haven't shared with anybody or maybe even acknowledge myself. And he says, you're this close. Speaker 1 (11:31) It's everything on that list. And he spreads his index fingers about a foot apart. And I'm thinking, give me 10 lifetimes. I'm not going to crack that list. And then he takes his fingers on his truth and puts them inside of my head, meaning inside, in between, there's a key. And he takes me to a room of his home that I've never seen before. It's wall to wall, ceiling, floor, covered in books. And I've never read a book. So it's like being in a room full of snakes. But what makes it worse is he starts grabbing snakes off the shelf and handing them to me. And I start looking at them. And there are these titles of... Speaker 1 (12:00) It's amazing men and women in history, like Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, some of the icons. And he says, Jim, you know, I want you to read one book a week. And I was like, there's no way. I'm fighting for my limitations at events all the time. People come to me and say, I'm too old. I'm not smart enough. And I would say, stop. If you fight for limitations, you know, you get to keep them. But I'm fighting for my limits. I'm like, can't do it. And I say, I have too much schoolwork. And he whips out that Mark Twain quote, don't let school get in the way of your education. And I was like, wow, that's really brilliant and clever. But I still can't promise because my word, if my parents raised me, if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it. And then he's very smart. He still has my dream list, my bucket list. And he takes it out and he starts reading every single thing line by line out loud. Speaker 1 (12:40) And something about hearing your dreams or things that you want in another person's voice and canted out in the universe, it just messed with my mind, my spirit, something fierce. And honestly, a lot of things, some of them on the list were things I want to do for my folks, things they can