Surprise Mace!

93X Half-Assed Morning Show

The 93X Half-Assed Morning Show kicks off with an announcement of their first-ever Friday afternoon live broadcast from Turtle Lake Casino's Border Bash party. The conversation quickly pivots

Key takeaways

• The show will broadcast live from Turtle Lake Casino this Friday afternoon instead of the usual early morning slot to accommodate the Border Bash party schedule.
• Dr. Parnell explains that shingles is caused by the dormant chickenpox virus reactivating due to a weakened immune system or stress, and the vaccine primarily prevents chronic post-herpetic neuralgia pain.

Main topics

• Friday casino broadcast schedule change
• Shingles vaccine and herpes connection

Notable quotes

"I can't really explain it in words right now, but it was something a little bit dirty."

Conclusion

Listeners gain practical health insights on shingles prevention while

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) Oh hey you beautiful podcast people, Dana here and I'll just cut right to the chase and tell you about standard heating and air conditioning because I know you're looking forward to the show. Winter is coming, the time to get your furnace wrenched on is now before the thing craps out and the boys below the belt shrivel up into pebbles because your house is so cold. Go to standardheating.com today and book that tune up, mention 93X and save a big double nickel, yeah 55 bucks off the price that those commenters would have to pay. Alright, enjoy the show you beautiful people, I'm serious, you look great. Whatever you're doing, it's working. Keep it up. The 93X Half-Assed Morning Show. 93. Speaker 1 (0:48) I was hoping to maybe fall back asleep for a few minutes there, but then that show intro upped and fired and I ran out of time. Welcome to the program. Welcome to the 93X Half-Assed Morning Show. Sure hope you had yourself a miraculous weekend. We're kicking off a unique type of a work week around here. A first in nearly 30 years of this radio show. And here's what I mean by all that. We'll do a little bit of this and that today through Thursday. Speaker 1 (1:20) Our normal routine. But we will not be live come Friday morning. Speaker 1 (1:30) We'll throw on some lame pre-recorded best of crap Friday for you. And that's because we will be traveling on over to Turtle Lake. Wisconsin Friday morning for our fifth annual casino showdown big beer party We have over there. We call it the border bash. Speaker 7 (1:52) It is a little weird that, you know, shoot, three decades and we've never done an afternoon broadcast outside of, I guess you could maybe count the state fair and the weekend they throw us out there for a couple hours. Speaker 1 (2:05) Jesus, I don't even have any memories of that. Speaker 7 (2:07) I'm trying to think if there's, we did a big live, remember when we broadcast on that stage many, many years ago at the state fair. Oh, you really don't remember that? The huge stage there. Can Speaker 4 (2:19) you tell by the look on my face that I have zero? Yeah, Speaker 7 (2:21) you don't remember Speaker 4 (2:21) that at all. No. We were on a giant stage. Yeah, Speaker 7 (2:24) it Speaker 4 (2:24) was a weird deal. It was Speaker 7 (2:26) a big stage. All of our radio, the Cumulus radio stations all did it. Yeah, I don't recall that. In Speaker 4 (2:30) a Speaker 7 (2:30) row. And there was those dancers that came on after us. Dancers? Yeah, from 105. Speaker 4 (2:37) It was like Vibe 105. I forget the 105 version it was at that time. Jesus. Well, yeah, we're not counting weekends. I don't have any idea what you're talking about. That's amazing. But we're not counting. This Speaker 8 (2:48) will be the first time. So, um... Speaker 8 (2:54) Our very first live afternoon broadcast. Speaker 1 (2:59) live from the sports book, the sports bar, whatever you call it there, at the casino, live from Turtle Lake. The broadcast starts at 3 p.m. So on Friday, like I said, a lame best-of show will run in the morning, and that's when we'll be driving beyond the Cheddar Curtain, and then we'll be putting on a very possibly lame live show come 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I see you finger-banging your cell phone. What are you doing over there? Speaker 4 (3:29) I'm trying to find the photos. I really can't believe you don't remember this. It's crazy to me. You have saved pictures of this imaginary event where we broadcast it live. I didn't take them, but... It's because Speaker 7 (3:42) my son got up and danced with the Vibe 105 dancers. Yeah, I got nothing. It's incredible. Speaker 1 (3:51) Well, I mean, I think you can understand some events in life that you truly wanted nothing to do with once they actually happen. I think our brain has the ability to block those memories. That would definitely be one of them. So if you're wondering why we've decided to up and out of nowhere have this afternoon broadcast from our border bash, this is... For the folks who have agreed to come on over to Turtle Lake Casino for the party, year after year, and a lot of folks repeat visit this event, we were looking for a way to let folks sleep in a little bit. and still put on a radio show, which we are contractually obligated to do. It felt kind of mean over the years to host this casino party. Speaker 1 (4:43) With the drinking and the gambling and Speaker 8 (4:45) the carrying on, it felt kind of mean to say, drink up, everybody. Have the time of your life. Oh, and make sure you're up and ready for our live broadcast that begins at 530 in the frigging morning. So I can't deny that it's also a little bit for us. We don't mind sleeping in. By God, I don't mind sleeping in. So everyone can relax this Speaker 1 (5:05) year and get a little extra sleep. Speaker 1 (5:08) Come this weekend at St. Croix Casino, Turtle Lake. It's Speaker 7 (5:13) one of those things where the misery on people's faces, I've always thought it was mostly due to the hour and then how late we were all up the night before. So this afternoon or that afternoon broadcast on Friday, we'll find out if it's a misery from watching a live show because you no longer have the excuse of waking up at 5 in the morning and getting to a sports book. It's unnatural. Speaker 4 (5:32) Maybe we will find out it has nothing to do with the time of day. That's a bit of fear of mine. You have a lot of fears. So are you finding those pictures yet? Yeah, I got them. I was there? Yeah, you were there. I think that's you. Hold on. I'll Speaker 1 (5:46) be Speaker 4 (5:46) dipped. Speaker 1 (5:47) I Speaker 7 (5:47) see Speaker 4 (5:47) muscles Speaker 7 (5:47) and handsome. Speaker 1 (5:49) Oh, that's got to be me. All right, so this is our program live from... the State Fair on some type of stage. Speaker 4 (6:00) Yeah, Speaker 1 (6:01) that is me, but I Speaker 4 (6:02) don't Speaker 1 (6:05) believe Speaker 4 (6:05) that it Speaker 1 (6:05) really happened. I got nothing on that. But thank you, Josh, for trying. Speaker 1 (6:12) He's still over here pounding away on his phone. I see that. Speaker 1 (6:17) No, I don't remember anything about this. Speaker 8 (6:19) This is great. Who were those people? Speaker 8 (6:23) Who were those people? They Speaker 7 (6:24) were the, like, I forgot the name of the station. Vibe 105? Speaker 8 (6:28) Yeah, Speaker 7 (6:29) Vibe Speaker 4 (6:30) 105 dancers. They look like a friendly. Like Speaker 7 (6:32) hip Speaker 5 (6:32) -hop dancers? Yeah, hip Speaker 4 (6:33) -hop dancers. Oh, Speaker 5 (6:33) sweet. Speaker 4 (6:35) That's what I said. I loved it, yeah. Speaker 8 (6:38) Oh, you know, while we're at the casino, you know, I'm sure we'll play some bets. Josh? Remind me, don't let me forget, to bet the over on every Vikings game from here until the end of Speaker 2 (6:51) the football season. Speaker 8 (6:51) Holy Speaker 7 (6:52) heck. What happened yesterday and the previous three weeks? Speaker 2 (6:55) I don't want to talk about it. God, that was awful. Speaker 7 (6:58) Well, your opinion doesn't count as much. You're not a Vikings fan. That's true, Speaker 2 (7:02) but I still have to sit through the games. Speaker 7 (7:04) You don't have to. You could go play Lego or something. I could. Or do you say Legos? Lego. Yeah, that was ugly. I can't believe they have the record they do. I mean, obviously special teams and defense are great, but that offense is terrible. It's Speaker 5 (7:18) so bad. Speaker 1 (7:18) That was just an ugly ball game from one end of town to the other. Is that a Dolphins hat you're wearing, Nick? Yeah. Yeah, I like that hat. That's sharp. Yeah, I like their logo. The old one. Not the one they carry around today. That one sucks. Speaker 4 (7:32) But Speaker 1 (7:33) I wore this to the bar yesterday, and I thought I could be a dick, and I... You were close to being a dick. I mean, when the dude scored the touchdown for Miami, when he ran it in there, it was kind of fun to be the only idiot at the bar going. Speaker 8 (7:49) And you see all the old-timers kind of look around like, where's that coming from? So I thought yesterday would be a good – especially after watching the first half. I didn't go to the bar until after the first half. After watching the first half, I thought this is perfect. So I pull my Miami Dolphins hat over my head and I thought, this is the worst football game that's ever been played so far. I mean, this is so terrible. So I knew walking into the bar, I knew – All the hard-ons, all the jabronis, the die-hard Viking dorks, I knew that they'd be in a piss-poor mood. So I thought, ooh-wee, if the Miami Dolphins, whoever they are, if they can pull off a victory, this is going to be great. I got my friggin' hat. I can act like I'm some kind of a fan. And when the dude scored the one touchdown, I thought, maybe they will pull the rug out from under. But Speaker 1 (8:37) it didn't turn out the way that I had hoped. Speaker 8 (8:40) No, it was close. It was better than I... I thought yesterday was going to be just, you know, 35-0 total goat rodeo. The fact that the Miami Dolphins, again, whoever they are, the fact that I was even close Speaker 1 (8:54) to being able to be, you know, that pain in the ass for all the drinkers yesterday was good enough for me. Did everyone have a grand weekend? No complaints. Oh, yeah? Yeah, no complaints whatsoever. Great Speaker 5 (9:06) weekend. I went to a wedding. It was a lot of fun. Speaker 7 (9:09) What was the relation? Speaker 5 (9:10) Just a friend. A friend of me and my husband's. Yeah, I was in Wisconsin, so we got a hotel room. It was fun. Speaker 1 (9:18) Now we're talking. Speaker 5 (9:19) Yeah. Speaker 1 (9:21) Oh, Christ. Speaker 5 (9:25) Oh, it was also my mother's birthday yesterday, so happy late birthday to her. Speaker 1 (9:29) There you go. Speaker 7 (9:30) Went Speaker 5 (9:30) and did a fall activity. Speaker 7 (9:32) Oh, like an apple orchard? A pumpkin Speaker 5 (9:35) patch. Speaker 7 (9:35) A pumpkin patch. Right Speaker 5 (9:37) up your alley, Josh. Speaker 7 (9:38) Yeah, I don't mind that. Speaker 5 (9:40) Pine Haven. It's in Wyoming. Speaker 7 (9:42) Oh, yeah. A lot of fun. Pine Haven. They've got everything Halloween and fall going on there. We've been there many, many times. Speaker 5 (9:47) They're the ones that are connected to the Dead End Hayride. Speaker 7 (9:50) Right. I was called a laughing bitch there. I'll never forget when Nick and I went into that haunted house and a clown called me a laughing bitch because I laughed when he jumped out. You know, it was Speaker 4 (10:00) a Speaker 7 (10:00) fear laugh. Yes. Speaker 4 (10:02) That was where? That was at Nightmare at Pine Haven. Many years ago. See, I do remember that, I think because I had a good Speaker 1 (10:10) time. That was a good time. Yeah. I want to say thanks to Terry Train. My wife and I went out to Terry's orchard over the weekend, Loose Line Orchard, and I want to thank Terry for... Speaker 1 (10:25) For her kindness, we always have a good time going out to see Terry out there. She's got Speaker 4 (10:31) such Speaker 7 (10:31) a good thing going, too. It's so much fun to go out there. They've got a lot of stuff, and they keep adding to it. I saw her do... Gets bigger every year. I saw her do a segment, and I forget if it was Channel 5 or Channel 9. Yeah, that was Speaker 1 (10:44) recently, yeah. Speaker 7 (10:45) Yeah, just a couple weeks back. And she's so friggin' funny. I mean, she was so good on that. Kind of showing around, and they're like, ah, it's got to be great to own. You know, or a shirt like that. And she's like, is it? Talk about how much work it Speaker 4 (10:59) is. Speaker 7 (10:59) They work their asses off Speaker 1 (11:00) out there. Yeah, Speaker 4 (11:00) they do. Speaker 1 (11:02) Let's see what else happened. Well, I watched a documentary about a dude who had six wives and very likely killed three of them. Speaker 7 (11:09) Oh, yeah. You might want to look that one up. I'm asking the wrong guy. Speaker 1 (11:13) You're asking the wrong guy what channel Speaker 8 (11:14) it was on, but I watched a documentary about a guy who has Speaker 4 (11:17) had six wives and very likely killed three of them. Yeah, I saw they were promoting that. I think it was on Netflix. Maybe it was four of them. I don't know. You have to watch it yourself. Does Speaker 5 (11:26) he still have the other wives? No, Speaker 8 (11:29) I don't think he has any more wives. Oh, Speaker 5 (11:31) they left. Well, Speaker 8 (11:33) they died. Speaker 5 (11:34) Well, no. Like, what about the ones that didn't die? Speaker 8 (11:37) Yeah, I don't know where they're at. Speaker 7 (11:38) Is it called The Widower Till Death Do Us Part? I don't know. Was a guy named Thomas Randolph? Yes. Did he broadcast from the State Fair on a very large stage? Was he there? He was there. Tommy was there? Speaker 1 (11:52) Who? Speaker 7 (11:52) Old Tommy was there? Tommy was Speaker 1 (11:54) there. Yeah. Maybe you want to check that one out. Six wives, three, four of them died. They called him the Black Widower. Speaker 4 (12:05) Handsome peckerhead, too. Oh, yeah. Ashley, you are going to want this guy. And you're going to want him now. Is it worth it? The preview looked okay. Yeah, sure. I don't know. Glowing Speaker 1 (12:18) review. Speaker 4 (12:19) It was fine. Speaker 1 (12:20) I mean, it was a television show. I stayed awake from beginning to end. I don't think any of my clothes came off. Speaker 8 (12:28) Oh, I got my first shingles vaccination. I figured I'm already being tracked Speaker 1 (12:32) by our government, you know, from the COVID vaccination. What's the harm in having another tracking device shot into my bloodstream? You added a country. That's the Speaker 4 (12:40) harm. Speaker 1 (12:40) Now two countries are tracking you. Speaker 4 (12:42) The government's... Yeah, it's not just the American government. Is it US and Canada now? Canada as well. Is Speaker 1 (12:47) it Speaker 4 (12:47) Canada? Speaker 1 (12:48) Yeah, that was a hell of a deal. Do you have any issues? No, I mean, you know, my shoulder hurts a little bit still, just a little tender, but... And then I think I got a little... Speaker 1 (12:59) I ran out of steam, I think, a little bit quicker than I normally do. But somebody told me that sometimes when you get the shingles vaccination, it can make you a little groggy. Other than that, no, ain't no thing. You Speaker 5 (13:10) guys are such liars. What's that? This guy's so unattractive. Oh, Speaker 8 (13:15) yeah, I was playing with you there. Yeah, he was being sarcastic. Good lord. The widower, whatever they call him. How did Speaker 5 (13:21) he Speaker 8 (13:21) get Speaker 5 (13:21) six whatever? Speaker 8 (13:22) Yeah, he... Speaker 8 (13:25) Yeah, I heard so many Speaker 1 (13:27) bad stories about that shingles. Oh, yeah. Every time I go to the doctor since I turned 50, he's always on my case about this. So I got the... A friend of mine's wife had, she's... Sometimes you Speaker 4 (13:39) get it in your eyes and your ears and your ass. Privates. I don't know where she got it. Can't you lose toes and things like that? I know it can be real bad. She had it real bad. Said it was miserable. I thought a guy's toes came off or something. Maybe you're thinking of diabetes. Oh, I don't know. I got that done. Got to have one more. Speaker 7 (14:00) Yeah. Speaker 1 (14:00) Like a month. That's the deal. They hooked me up with an appointment in Speaker 8 (14:05) December to give me that second ride. They said, that's the one you feel like Speaker 4 (14:09) just absolute garbage for five days. I had mine. I didn't feel bad. You're all done? Yeah, I'm all done. It was the same thing. That was the one I kept putting off and putting off and putting off. Well, I heard people had adverse effects to it for sure. But I didn't Speaker 7 (14:25) have any. I was lucky. But it was just like you, anytime you go and once you hit 50, they're like, you should do this. Speaker 5 (14:31) Such old man talk right now. Talk about your shingles vaccines. Yeah, we're aware of that. I Speaker 7 (14:37) love it. Oh, yeah, we also banged a bunch of Speaker 4 (14:39) broads over the weekend. We bought some side-by-sides. Speaker 5 (14:43) It's just so, I love it. Speaker 1 (14:45) Well, I mean, you'll get there someday. Speaker 1 (14:50) So come Friday, Josh, we're all heading out to Wisconsin. Don't forget to bring your blankets and your pillows. Speaker 4 (14:59) I wonder what everybody will be like during an afternoon show. Because are Speaker 7 (15:04) you usually napping at that time, about 3 o'clock? Yeah, Speaker 4 (15:07) see, Speaker 7 (15:07) that's Speaker 4 (15:09) where maybe Speaker 7 (15:09) we should think Speaker 4 (15:09) about calling this off. Speaker 5 (15:12) That's usually when I am, like, needing a coffee. Like, I'm crashing at that time of day. Speaker 1 (15:17) I don't like this idea anymore because damn near every day. I'm sound asleep between about 1 and 3. I Speaker 7 (15:28) was just going to ask if a noon would have been a better time, so it doesn't seem to matter. Speaker 1 (15:32) Noon would have been better. It doesn't matter. Speaker 1 (15:35) Yes, I'm normally asleep or just waking up at 3 o'clock. So you're wondering Speaker 8 (15:42) what everyone's going to be like as in the four of Speaker 7 (15:44) us? Just because, you know, energy levels. That's why I was curious because I know you and I think, I don't know, Ashley, your nap schedule is probably off now. Speaker 5 (15:51) Yeah, Speaker 7 (15:51) sadly. Speaker 8 (15:52) Well, what I'm going to do is get a solid beer buzz before we crack the microphone. Speaker 4 (15:56) Oh, Speaker 7 (15:56) are Speaker 4 (15:56) you? Yeah. Oh, that'll be fun. Speaker 1 (15:58) Yeah. Speaker 4 (16:00) That's the only thing that's Speaker 1 (16:01) going to keep me awake is if I get into the beer. Speaker 5 (16:04) Me being able to sleep until like 6.37 is good enough. Like, I think I'll be pretty energized. Like, having a nap won't be necessary. It'll just be like it's a Saturday. Speaker 7 (16:12) Well, I don't mind the five-minute commute to work when we do the early morning broadcast. That's good for us, I think. But, yeah, as far as just people coming in to watch the show, they do look missed. There's zombies for a little bit there. And Speaker 1 (16:26) so are we. Yeah, a little bit. I Speaker 2 (16:27) mean, Speaker 1 (16:27) Jesus Christ. So there you go. Yeah, I'm going to get into the beer. Speaker 1 (16:34) And I promise you I'll be sound asleep by 9.30. Speaker 1 (16:41) A Speaker 7 (16:41) few people are texting in on shingles saying you'd rather die than get shingles. That's the thing. I've Speaker 8 (16:47) heard Speaker 7 (16:47) it's absolutely Speaker 8 (16:48) awful. I kept putting it Speaker 1 (16:50) off, and then it seemed like about every month or two, one of my pals would walk up to me and say, did you get that shingle, Shotsky? And I'd say, no, I keep forgetting. And they'd say, oh, I had it in my armpit. I had it in my eye. I had it on my taint, and I had it between my toes, you know. My Speaker 7 (17:08) dad had it, and I remember him being miserable. I think he had it twice, if I'm not mistaken. Speaker 4 (17:13) Lucky guy. Was he afraid of the government tracking him? No, probably just too cheap to get the shot. Speaker 1 (17:22) Yeah, I remember when my dad got the shingle shots. And maybe you had to be there. Maybe you had to know my dad, but this was the style of sense of humor he had. I don't think he had ever heard of it until his doctor said, it's time for your shingle shot. And I think before my dad got done saying, what the hell are the Speaker 8 (17:45) shingles, the guy had stabbed him with the needle. And he just didn't know anything about it. And he got a, I think. Again, you had to know my old Speaker 1 (17:52) man, but I think he got a kick out of the name, Shingles. You know, he had a, obviously there's double meanings behind that. So anyway, after my dad got his Shingles shot, anytime he and I were sitting at the house together and the Speaker 8 (18:07) telephone would ring, he'd go, Shingle. Speaker 8 (18:12) That's Speaker 1 (18:12) it. Speaker 7 (18:12) That's the end of the bit. Speaker 7 (18:15) SIGH More anxiety than hair, Jesus said his wife, who he's referring to as the shingles bitch, has had it multiple times. Oh, man, that Speaker 8 (18:24) sounds Speaker 1 (18:25) awful. Back, neck. Ash cheeks. People are texting in where they have found shingles on their body. Didn't you mention the taint earlier? I did a minute ago. It wasn't even that long ago. It Speaker 5 (18:37) targets Speaker 7 (18:37) the taint. As do I. Speaker 1 (18:43) Here's Speaker 7 (18:43) a Speaker 1 (18:43) text message from Sharp as a bowling ball Jesus. You can always get a hold of us, of course, 651-551-9393. Sharp as a bowling ball Jesus. He must be a Delano guy. Is he the guy who, oh, I think he might drive school bus. Do I have you? Speaker 1 (19:02) So I got the right guy. Text us back. Sharp as a bowling ball, Jesus. Do you drive school? He texted in to say it's homecoming week in Delano, and today is dress like Adam Sandler day. Please pray for me. Oh, no. Speaker 2 (19:17) Hey, I do that pretty much every day. You do pull off a good Sandler, Josh. Your Speaker 5 (19:22) sweater needs to be maybe like an XL, like a 2XL, and then it would be perfect. Speaker 7 (19:28) Yeah, a bigger sweatshirt? Yep. Yeah, I've sized down because of how ridiculously oversized I was wearing for a while. Speaker 5 (19:34) I'm proud of you. Speaker 1 (19:36) Do I have you right, Sharp? It's a bowl and ball Jesus. Do you drive school bus in Delano? Speaker 7 (19:43) Vertically challenged, she's just on the topic of shingles, and ninth grade got it under her as she called them bubes. Speaker 7 (19:50) Under the boobs? Yeah. Speaker 5 (19:52) Oh, that would be so... Itchy. Speaker 8 (19:55) Yeah, Speaker 1 (19:57) I've heard terrible things. Speaker 8 (20:01) Yeah, but I'm telling you, I don't think I'm making this Speaker 1 (20:04) up. I think some people who have it bad enough... I think digits and... And what not have to be. Speaker 1 (20:17) Where am I thinking of someone else? Something else. Text me. Can you lose an arm Speaker 4 (20:22) or something? The only thing I can think of for that is diabetes. Speaker 7 (20:27) Let me look up shingles lose a finger or something. Speaker 2 (20:32) Yeah, Speaker 1 (20:32) include the or something in the search. Speaker 1 (20:36) Because I swear to God, there was a story I heard that really scared me. Oh, Speaker 8 (20:40) here's some people. Okay, I've heard this before. They get it. You know where they get it, Cubby. Where? Speaker 1 (20:46) In the eyes. It's always the eyes. Oh, ouch. It's got lifeless eyes like a doll's eyes. Speaker 7 (20:52) All right, so it says shingles by itself can't destroy a digit, but secondary complications can arise. Dude. Speaker 1 (21:02) Where maybe, where, Speaker 7 (21:03) quote, theoretically, Speaker 4 (21:04) it can become dangerous. You said secondary Speaker 1 (21:07) complications. Speaker 8 (21:11) Oh, shingle. Hello. Speaker 1 (21:17) Chicago? 5 a.m.? All right. I'll be there. I got to go to Chicago by tomorrow at 5 a.m. Speaker 4 (21:24) All right, there you go. The technical name for shingles looks like this. Herpes zoster. Speaker 1 (21:30) It's a form of herpes. It's a fun name. Speaker 1 (21:34) Now that brings up a whole different, that opens up a whole new can of herpes. Speaker 1 (21:44) A buddy of mine got him real bad on his... On his face. And we Speaker 4 (21:49) had the time of our lives. Did he get it the way you'd imagine? Speaker 5 (21:53) Yeah, like picture perfect? Speaker 1 (21:56) tried to lead us to believe that it was something else. But we were all fairly certain how he got those herpes. And I'm telling you. Time of our lives. Speaker 6 (22:10) They Speaker 1 (22:11) were really prominent for... Speaker 8 (22:15) A Speaker 1 (22:15) couple of weeks, I think. I mean, I don't know much about herpes. I'm from the Twin Cities. You have to understand. Sounds right. If I was from north of 694, I probably would have more knowledge on herpes. If I was more of an out-state guy, you guys know exactly what I'm saying, right? Of course. But being from the Twins, Wisetta, we don't have a lot of filthy people. So I know very Speaker 8 (22:37) limited, I have very limited knowledge on herpes. I thought it was around a couple weeks they were pretty visible on his face. And I'm telling you, we did the right thing, Ashley. You want to know what we did? Yeah, Speaker 1 (22:48) I Speaker 8 (22:48) do. We were relentless. We didn't let them cross the room without mentioning those herpes. Speaker 8 (22:55) Can I get you a beer, I'd say. He'd say, yeah, Coors Light. What does your herpy want? A Bud? Old Milwaukee? Just anything. We reminded him that he had herpes on his face at every turn. Speaker 7 (23:07) Hey, I want to say hello to an old buddy of mine who I just found out is listening. Montana Redneck Jesus. He is the nightmare clown that called me a laughing bitch so many years ago. Speaker 4 (23:18) You're falling for this again? Yeah, I absolutely am. Speaker 4 (23:23) Last week it was some dude Speaker 5 (23:26) The guy playing the guitar. So Speaker 4 (23:29) now someone texted in to say, I am the laughing clown and you're buying it. I am buying it. Montana Redneck Jesus. I don't know, man. What's up, old pal? Speaker 1 (23:39) Oh, that's interesting. Speaker 4 (23:40) All right. It's a cool name. Montana. How do you say it? Montana Redneck Jesus. Montana Speaker 1 (23:45) Redneck. It's beautiful out there in Montana. That Speaker 4 (23:47) was a fun memory. A lot of Speaker 1 (23:49) herpes, I bet, though. Oh, geez. Speaker 7 (23:50) In Montana? You're not kidding. Speaker 1 (23:52) All right, we ought to get going. You're a terrific crowd. I think we've got a guest coming in later, and I think it's Dr. P. Jesus, if we want to ask. That man about shingles, herpes, and things like that. I bet he has some answers for Speaker 7 (24:05) us. Speaker 1 (24:05) He knows a Speaker 7 (24:05) thing. Speaker 1 (24:06) I bet he has some frigging answers. But, yeah, again, kind of a funny week for us. We'll be broadcasting live here from the radio studio Monday through Thursday. But come Friday. You won't hear us live in the morning. We'll be on our way out to St. Croix Casino at Turtle Lake for our big old stinking border bash, and we'll put on that afternoon show. Do we know what we're really doing at all for that afternoon Speaker 8 (24:32) show? No. Will we have a better idea come like an hour before we go live? Again, probably no. Your guess is as good as ours. Speaker 1 (24:42) But we're going to just let her buck. We'll be back in a few minutes here on the Half-Assed Morning Show. Speaker 2 (24:48) Oh, hey, you beautiful podcast people. Dana here, and I'll just cut right to the chase and tell you about standard heating and air conditioning because I know you're looking forward to the show. Winter is coming. The time to get your furnace wrenched on is now before the thing craps out and the boys below the belt shrivel up into pebbles because your house is so cold. Go to standardheating.com today and book that tune-up. Mention 93X and save a big double nickel. Yeah, 55 bucks off the price that those commenters would have to pay. All right, enjoy the show, you beautiful people. I'm serious. You look great. Whatever you're doing, it's working. Keep it up. Speaker 6 (25:18) Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints. You need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialki Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to BialkiLaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Speaker 2 (25:46) It's football season. On Polymarket, trade your football predictions against other fans before and during the game. You can even combine multiple trades with Polymarket combos. Promo code WWCFB. New customers deposit $10 and get $50 instantly to start trading. 18 plus. See Polymarket's Terms of Service for more information about restrictions and eligibility. The Polymarket app is an independent affiliate of Polymarket USA and not CFTC regulated. Trading always involves risk. Complete loss can occur. The $50 offer is issued as non-withdrawable trading credit for use on the platform. Offer exclusively available to first-time depositors. Not available in all jurisdictions. Speaker 4 (26:18) Stupid news on the Half-Assed Morning Show. Speaker 8 (26:28) Bye, God. Earlier on this morning, we got to talking about Speaker 1 (26:32) shingles. I went out. When was this? Two, three days ago. And I got the shot. uh the shingles vaccination my first as a lot of you know it's a two banger I said to the doctor, Speaker 8 (26:47) I said, should I get the shingles shot? Because I have a feeling that the shingles are probably just going to magically disappear once the Speaker 1 (26:54) election is over. You know what I'm saying? And he said, let's just give you the shot and see what happens because we doctors have no idea what we're doing anyway, he said. Speaker 1 (27:06) He Speaker 7 (27:06) really said that. Yeah. He Speaker 1 (27:08) made it in. That's nice. I've Speaker 7 (27:09) heard that before. Speaker 1 (27:10) So we got to talking about the shingles here on the program and herpes. A shingles is a version of herpes, don't you know? According to Wikipedia, shingles is like herpes' second cousin or something like that. From looking at text messages, it seems a lot of you have caught the shingle. And all of you have had a miserable time with it. Josh pointed this out to me as he was reading through the text. He said there hasn't been one text from someone who said, yeah, I caught the shingle and it wasn't so bad. Speaker 8 (27:42) Everyone has more or less said, you Speaker 4 (27:45) do not want this. It was hell on earth. Yet not one text has said anything other than that. Either Speaker 7 (27:52) they or somebody they knew had it said it was absolutely awful. Here Speaker 1 (27:56) are some messages that have come our way. A listener says, my dad had shingles a few years ago, and he described it as electrical shocks randomly shooting up his spine and into his head for three weeks. Oh, my gosh. Speaker 7 (28:13) Oh, boy. Speaker 1 (28:14) That's a text from Chemical. Transport Jesus. A couple of dudes texted in to say the same thing. They would rather drag their naked balls across six miles of broken glass than ever catch the shingle again. Speaker 1 (28:32) And here's why I'm happy, Cubby, that you told us you've already gotten your double whammy shingle shot. You're free and clear. I'm glad to hear that because a couple Speaker 8 (28:42) people texted in to say, do you know what causes shingle? I've heard yes. Sometimes you can just catch it, but sometimes there's a direct. cause, and that cause is stress. Yeah, Speaker 4 (28:54) I've heard anxiety can do it to you. Oh, you were all lined up. I think that's why my dad got it a couple times. Shingles was ready to chew you to pieces. No, I outsmarted it. Speaker 8 (29:04) Yeah, Speaker 4 (29:05) now you're good. But had you not... Speaker 4 (29:08) Because you're the anxiety king of Hennepin County. Well, I'm more of a prince. I'm sure that there's probably folks that are worse than I am. Speaker 1 (29:17) One listener texted in to say, my ex-mother-in-law had shingles on her vagina. Speaker 1 (29:23) And the dude said, honestly, she's a terrible person and she deserved every bit of it. Speaker 7 (29:29) The Speaker 4 (29:30) bookkeeper Jesus said he's had it twice. Speaker 7 (29:32) He's not even 55 yet. And in all caps, he said it's worse than being dragged behind a horse on a gravel road. Oh, my God. Speaker 5 (29:41) Great. I have a new thing to be absolutely terrified of. Oh, Speaker 1 (29:44) yeah. I mean, the horror stories are endless on this. Oh, and then just to change gears slightly, Baudette fishing guide Jesus. texted in to say that a buddy of his got herpes and war road Speaker 1 (29:59) I can believe it. I've been to War Road many times. It's Speaker 7 (30:02) kind of like when you walk in, it's like a gift bag. They just give you herpes. All Speaker 1 (30:07) right. Yeah, you don't want that, that shingle dingle. Speaker 1 (30:12) That will part your hair for you. And at times, Ashley, not the hair that you're picturing. Speaker 1 (30:23) So here we go. We're going to bust loose with Speaker 8 (30:26) the Speaker 1 (30:27) Stupid News Report. And I'm leading off here with some information on a very interesting court case. Speaker 1 (30:37) Something terrible happened in Las Vegas, Nevada about a year ago, and a judge out that way, he's trying to sort things out. Speaker 1 (30:47) The case has to do with... Speaker 1 (30:51) A lady back one year ago. A lady was seriously injured. when she fell off of a penis. One minute she was on the penis and everything was just wonderful. And then before she noted, she had come off the penis. Speaker 1 (31:11) She got all busted up from by God head to toe, and her life hasn't been the same since. Speaker 1 (31:20) So here's the damn deal. This poor gal who's still limping around a year later, she goes by the name of Amber. She's suing a tavern over there in Las Vegas, a joint called The Nerd. Speaker 1 (31:38) That's a cute name for a... Speaker 7 (31:40) That's Speaker 1 (31:40) kind Speaker 7 (31:40) of funny. Speaker 1 (31:40) What do you think about that? I Speaker 7 (31:41) like it. Speaker 1 (31:43) Just a little beer haul there on the corner. What's the name of the jerk? The nerd. Speaker 1 (31:49) Amber had traveled out to Nevada for a little vacation all the way from the state of Illinois. Brought her girlfriends with her. Yay, Vegas. Right, that whole gimmick. Been done to death. Anyway. Speaker 1 (32:04) According to the lawsuit, Amber and her friend stopped by the nerd. Speaker 1 (32:10) near closing time and asked if they could go ahead and ride the nerds famous mechanical penis Speaker 7 (32:20) Anyone here interested in giving that a shot if you're ever at the Nerd? Yeah, it's fun. Why not? Speaker 5 (32:26) I've done the bull before. That's fun. Were Speaker 7 (32:29) they polite to you? I've seen the bull a few times, and usually the person operating it is nice to the ladies, but to guys, they're jerkwads. Oh, absolutely. Very, Speaker 5 (32:37) very nice to me. They Speaker 7 (32:38) hate the men on those things. They don't want to see that. No, you're done immediately. Speaker 1 (32:43) To answer your question, Josh, no. I have no interest at all in riding the mechanical penis. And if you're saying, what the hell is the mechanical? It's like a mechanical bull, of course, but a lot more pink and veiny. Speaker 7 (32:57) They did make that pink and veiny, didn't they? And it was kind of weirdly shaped. Unless I'm weirdly shaped and I just don't know what a normal penis should Speaker 8 (33:05) look like. Speaker 7 (33:05) I didn't look Speaker 1 (33:05) at the pictures of the mechanical penis from the nerd. So I don't know for sure. Maybe you can show me something. Maybe you can send me something. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I went to Las Vegas once, and within about six hours, I was absolutely certain that I would never return. Not that I had a Speaker 8 (33:29) bad experience, but... I found out I'm not a Vegas guy. We went in and out of a few casinos. Yay. Look at the prostitutes. We're drinking 25-cent beer, which was nice. Downtown Las Vegas, we happened to be there during the rodeo finals. And if you're ever there during the rodeo finals, the sponsor beer, well, this might have changed by now, but when I was there, the sponsor beer was Coors Light. And in downtown Vegas, in honor of the rodeo, you could get yourself a Coors Light tap for 25 cents. Holy heck. Dude, no Speaker 7 (34:04) way. Speaker 8 (34:04) In Vegas? That doesn't seem right. That's awesome. We did this. We did that. But I think we agreed on this, right, Josh? You went to Vegas once, and after a very short period of time, you told yourself, well, I've done Vegas. I don't ever have to come back here. ever again. Yeah, Speaker 7 (34:20) we went there for our honeymoon and it was okay. It wasn't really for us because you hear so many, like my brother for a long time, over a decade, they'd go every year. Him and his buddies, they loved it. I've Speaker 8 (34:30) got buddies who go there multiple times a year. Vegas, Vegas, they just can't get enough of it. I don't get it. Personally, I don't get it. Yeah, it's not my style. Yeah, if Speaker 5 (34:38) you don't love to gamble, it's not really that fantastic. Speaker 8 (34:41) I went and saw Larry the Cable Guy. Had a good time at the Larry the Cable Guy concert. We went to a couple shows. Speaker 4 (34:47) Yeah, I Speaker 5 (34:48) saw a magician. That was pretty sweet. I also got an alcoholic Baja Blast from Taco Bell. That was a highlight. That sounds awesome. Dude, it was so cool. What Speaker 7 (34:57) magician? Speaker 5 (34:59) David Copperfield? Copperdale? Something like Speaker 7 (35:02) that? Dave, one of the most famous illusionists of all time. I'm Speaker 5 (35:05) sorry. Speaker 7 (35:05) I Speaker 5 (35:05) feel so terrible. It's Speaker 8 (35:06) Copperdale. You were correct on the second try. It's David Copperdale. Yeah. Speaker 5 (35:11) He's Speaker 8 (35:11) been around for- He was great. Speaker 4 (35:13) Well, he's world renowned. Everybody knows David Copperdale. I saw David Copperdale once. Yeah. He was very good. So, but Josh, when I was there, I Speaker 1 (35:24) - Speaker 1 (35:26) Me and my girlfriend at the time, we got in line for the mechanical bull at some joint near the rodeo. And it's exactly what you described. My girlfriend got up there and they tried to make it the Speaker 8 (35:40) longest, most sexually charged event anyone could ever watch for free. Yeah, they know what they're doing. Have you seen those videos where the guy running the joystick on the mechanical bull, especially if a girl's got an ass on her? The guy who's running that joystick, and don't get cute with that, once he gets on that bull, he gives it a little bup Speaker 1 (35:59) -bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup. Speaker 1 (36:01) You Speaker 8 (36:02) know what I'm talking about? Speaker 4